One year to live.

[Scuba]

OP, very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope you live your remaining time, however long that may be, surrounded by people who make you happy.

I think we’ve already done a pretty good job getting our affairs in order from a business perspective. I’d want to spend as much time as possible with the people who really mean a lot to me, and eliminate the trivial time wasting things I seem to spend too much time on. If DH were willing to sign up for the long-term commitment, I’d want to get a dog. I really miss having a dog, but we agreed it didn’t make sense to tie ourselves down while we were relatively young and doing a lot of travel. If I knew I only had a year left, I think I’d rather have a dog to love and stay home more.

Good thought-provoking topic, and a good reminder that no one knows exactly how much remaining time we have, so best to live the life we really want.

 

[Dreamer]

I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis.

I would want to spend as much time with my loved ones as possible.

Wishing you the best.

 

[Jerry1]

I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis.

I would want to spend as much time with my loved ones as possible.

Wishing you the best.

^^This^^

Personally, I’d do everything I could to make sure my daughters know that I loved them and am proud of the women they’ve become.

 

[Car-Guy]

Sorry to hear about your affliction. I've known several folks that received pancreatic cancer diagnosis. Two died within a year and one has survived for more than a decade now. So you never really know.

I don't think I do anything much different than what I'm doing now except teach my wife how to deal with our finances/investments. I've already made it pretty simple but there is still a lot for her to learn/know.

 

[Cayman]

GCgang I know firsthand that coping with a life threatening diagnosis or a serious health event can be quite challenging. So, I'd consult a good therapist. Additionally, I'd continue to live as I do, spending time with friends and family + making double sure that everyone in my life knows that they are much loved. Sending you warm wishes for all the best.

 

[Sunset]

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis.

I have this old relative, he eats all sorts of bad food like cookies, candy, hotdogs, junk food, etc... My DW points out to him how it's all unhealthy and bad for him.
He is ~95 yrs old.
Says he enjoys the food and what difference does it make.

Point being when a person is close to the end, sure get affairs in order, then do whatever makes you happy and fulfilled.

 

[Scrapr]

Sobering question....

@gcgang I'm sorry for your Dx. My brother passed from GBM.

I'd go to Paris & BTD. It's been a year & a half since I've been & I'm missing it a lot. I'd stay 89.5 days & return 90.5 days later

 

[mystang52]

Mariel,

Very interesting you ask.

I value the input of the contributors here. I’ve been putting together my own thoughts/list, want to get ideas on what I might be leaving out.

Oh, and, yeah, just received diagnosis of GBM, glioblastoma multiforme, a month ago, so I got that goin’ for me.

Wishing you the best.

 

[Dtail]

Wishing you the best. Perhaps besides financial, think of your bucket list.

 

[sengsational]

I wonder if there's a difference between the thought experiment (I'm healthy, and pretending), and having a diagnosis. I'm pretty sure there's a big difference.

Do you really want to spend your last hours sorting through old, nearly worthless crap? I can see selling a very high value item that only you would have the expertise to sell, but even that is questionable. What fraction of your net worth is this thing?

I think most of us have the basic estate stuff aligned already. You could hire a consultant and get that sorted in a few days, if not. But what will consume the next 360 days? I certainly wouldn't want to slog through estate details for my few remaining months.

One thing that the thought experiment probably lacks is the existential anxiety that would arise for someone who's got a diagnosis. Thats got to really put laser focus on how you spend your time... something that's probably pretty hard to imagine if it's not really happening.

Making peace with everyone and everything would come first, I think. The material and organizational stuff would be a distant second.

 

[Mark1]

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. You never know when/how the human body will respond to an adverse condition, so I would hope for the best.

I won't worry too much about getting everything in perfect order and would instead spend my time enjoying what I enjoy, e.g., simply being outside in nature.

If you have kids, they will remember and cherish a comment like Jerry's:

"Personally, I’d do everything I could to make sure my daughters know that I loved them and am proud of the women they’ve become.",

much more, than how well you've organized of a three-ring binder.

 

[Flieger]

I wonder if there's a difference between the thought experiment (I'm healthy, and pretending), and having a diagnosis. I'm pretty sure there's a big difference.

Yes, I agree. First, to @gcgang I am sorry to hear your situation. Prayers to you and your family.

To summarize:

I was hospitalized with Covid Oct 2020. An overachiever Radiologist reviewing CT scan of lungs saw a mass on my Pancreas. Was determined as Neuroendocrine Tumor (NET) cancer. First thoughts, it's over. Started getting financial info in order and figuring out how DW would be ok. Research informed me that this was Steve Jobs type, not Patrick Swayze type. Steve Jobs tried alternative meds, waited too long. Dec 2020 I underwent surgery, removing half of Pancreas, Spleen, and a bunch of lymph nodes. Lots of complications from surgery (multiple PE's, etc), but no further cancer found. Follow on 6 months scans moved to yearly, with one more remaining and then no more unless marker pops in bloodwork. Radiologist saved my life!

All that said, It was amazing that when I first heard Pancreatic Cancer I immediately thought it was death sentence as I have known two others that were diagnosed with it and were gone in a year or less. Theirs were adenocarcinoma vs NET which is much more deadly, coupled with my early diagnosis so much different outcome.

However, my thoughts were not about traveling, etc, but first what situation I was going to leave DW in when gone, then how do I extend time or beat it. I was (very) lucky, and maybe if it had been adenocarcinoma I would have gotten to the travel and be with loved ones stage, but those were not my first thoughts.

Flieger

 

[target2019]

From a different cancer diagnosis in 2020, I was told the mean survival rate was something like 18 months. Challenging environment then, since COVID was shutting down the world.

- Put our affairs in order so that spouse and children would not have to wade through details.
- Travelled to Germany, Ireland, and so on, to meet found relatives or just say hello to old friends.
- Focus on my close family, making sure there needs are met.
- Pick events we can share for future memories. My children will have fond memories of a week in Ireland, for example.

Specific immunotherapy came along right at the beginning, and prolongs the inevitable. But the wolf will get in.

 

[Ronstar]

Nothing much different than I am doing now. All my plans are in place and reviewed. I would try to get in some additional golf and eat more ice cream.

You are not the only one who wants to leave on an ice cream binge. MIL is 95, probably / maybe more than one year to live, but she treats every day like it's her last. Makes her bed, then eats and watches TV all day.

She eats a carton of ice cream every 1-2 days. And still weighs 100 lbs. Only thing slowing her down is that her dementia sometimes causes her to forget to tell us when she needs more ice cream.

 

[Flieger]

From a different cancer diagnosis in 2020, I was told the mean survival rate was something like 18 months. Challenging environment then, since COVID was shutting down the world.

Prayers for you target2019...

Yes, it was not easy being in a hospital all alone, which happened in Greenville when I was there due to Covid and the PE's following surgery. MUSC in Charleston saw value in relationships and contact and allowed 2 people (had to the same 2 the whole time) to come in to room while I was there. Made all the difference. In fact, when I went in to the Greenville Hospital due to the PE's, I called the Oncologist at MUSC so that I could be transported down there instead just for that reason (there was a family relationship that made that easier/possible).

Flieger

 

[gcgang]

Shoot. Didn’t mean for MY condition to hijack the thread. While I appreciate all the thoughts about my condition, I should have waited or not mentioned it, as I think this is an interesting topic on its own, while of particular interest to me.

But, Thanks for all your thoughts and comments. It helps. And it is inspiring to hear stories of others who went through similar struggles and how they dealt with, and came through it.

 

[MarieIG]

Mariel,

Very interesting you ask.

I value the input of the contributors here. I’ve been putting together my own thoughts/list, want to get ideas on what I might be leaving out.

Oh, and, yeah, just received diagnosis of GBM, glioblastoma multiforme, a month ago, so I got that goin’ for me.

I was afraid that might be the case. I am very, very sorry you are going through this.

Continue to spend quality time with family and friends; spend time in nature; pet my doggo.

Take whatever steps I could to reduce stress to the extent possible under the circumstances. (I would not sell or completely de-clutter a house as that would, for me, be stressful. I might give sentimental gifts / keepsakes.)

I anticipate that I would visit an estate / elder care attorney to make sure my paperwork was up to date and reflected my wishes.

Research my condition including mainstream treatment, adjuvent therapies, and case studies including those who were able to optimize the condition. (That is my personality.)

Discuss my wishes with family.

 

[Ronstar]

Mariel,

Very interesting you ask.

I value the input of the contributors here. I’ve been putting together my own thoughts/list, want to get ideas on what I might be leaving out.

Oh, and, yeah, just received diagnosis of GBM, glioblastoma multiforme, a month ago, so I got that goin’ for me.

Best wishes for a full recovery gc!

 

[Flieger]

Shoot. Didn’t mean for MY condition to hijack the thread. While I appreciate all the thoughts about my condition, I should have waited or not mentioned it, as I think this is an interesting topic on its own, while of particular interest to me.

But, Thanks for all your thoughts and comments. It helps. And it is inspiring to hear stories of others who went through similar struggles and how they dealt with, and came through it.

I think it's very pertinent as it is real world vs. theoretical. Thanks for posting it!

Flieger

 

[RunningBum]

1. Get my financial affairs in order - update the will, beneficiaries, etc. Maybe move some money around to minimize taxes and/or maximize flexibility for my heirs.
2. Sell everything of value that my kids wouldn't know what to do with.
3. Clean out and sell my house and move into a rental.
4. Visit a few friends.
5. Die in a controlled environment like a hospital/in-patient hospice.

A good reminder to think about what to leave behind if there is -0- advance notice of one's demise.

Not a bad list. I have thought this a bit because I have a chronic health condition though there's no indication it is terminal. Still, it makes one think.

I have #1 in reasonable shape but there are moves I could make like draining my HSA if my demise was known.

1a. Fully educate my heirs (mainly my son) on what they will be getting and how to manage it. I already have a document on this but I would step through it and make sure they understand. We've talked about how to invest his money so this wouldn't be new to him at all. The size is larger and we'd have to talk about when he could ER if he wants to.

1b. Perhaps increase my charitable giving from my estate.

1c. Start social security! I can't believe no one has mentioned this! Maybe I'm the only one so far in this thread eligible to start that has not done so yet.

2. Selling valuables might leave a tax mess the final year. Heirs get stepped up value. The only thing I really have of much value is my sports card collection and I've already identified the valuable cards and who to consign them with. I'd just organize it better to make it easier, but I still enjoy browsing through the cards so I want to continue to enjoy that while I can. And really, a $15K collection is a small fraction of my estate so it's not a big deal if it was all tossed, but it's already organized to avoid that.

3. Clean out, yes. I have a lot of stuff to purge and I'd probably want to do it myself. My parents did this and it was much appreciated. But I don't think I'd sell the house. For one, I really love my house and location. For another, the step up basis thing. Plus it needs new windows, paint, and upstairs carpet replaced, and I wouldn't want those disruptions while I'm here I'd probably line up the people to do them after I'm gone, and see if the realtor I have in mind can help get them done.

4. Yes, friends and family. I have less of a desire to travel to see new places especially since health makes travel a bit of a challenge, though not impossible. Last year I did a 3 week ski trip to 6 different resorts and by the 3rd week I was in pretty rough shape and wasn't enjoying it anymore. My son and I have a Rocky Mountaineer train trip across western Canada on our list someday and we'd definitely do that.

5. I think I'd rather be at home, and spend down some of my money with private nursing as needed. But maybe at the end I'd want to go closer to family.

6. Make arrangements for pets. I have one cat. Hopefully my son would take him, or one of my friends near me who know his rescue story.

 

[Midpack]

Very sorry to hear this. I’d make sure my financial affairs are in order for DW, get her advisory help, make sure our home is in good repair or help her move if she wants, travel some, dine out even more than we already do, and spend as much time as possible with DW, family and friends.

 

[robnplunder]

Do what makes you happy as often as you can.

 

[pacergal]

As most others have mentioned, make sure my financial affairs are in order and spend time with family and friends would be my priorities. If there were any medical interventions that could improve my health and delay my death, I would investigate and weigh the pros and cons as far as how they may affect my day to day life.

gcgang--my prayers to you. Had a friend diagnosed with that brain tumor, he lived a few years after. You are not alone. Take care.

 

[PADan]

So sorry. My mom had GBM. We had a blast in her final year.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

I'd get really good at that BTD everyone is talking about! Thinking maybe a trip to space if I could find a coupon rate that my meager portfolio would cover. Pretty sure I could afford to put my ashes in space but it would be neat to experience it alive.

More seriously, would really double down on spending time with friends and family and not holding back letting them know that I love them... probably should do more of that now -I'm working on it.

I really don't think any of us really know until it happens to us.