People that have moved do you really feel at home

[rk911]

Yes, of course!

And when we were traveling full time in the motorhome (no house) it totally felt like home. It didn’t matter where it was parked.

Agree totally. We vacationed in our motor homes for 35- years ranging from 2-4 weeks at first, then for 3-mos twice a year and finally for 5-mos straight when were snowbirding to AZ. We always felt at home in the RV.

 

[ls99]

Left original home at 17.
Since lived many places, some much nicer than birth home. (posted pic in another thread a while ago) Some worse. One time in the Aleutians, Dutch Harbor, maybe a half mile from the WW2 built airport, way before it became somewhat civilized.
Lived in an unused WW2 bunker where I had set up a Seismic recording system, sleeping on an autopsy table (needed a little padding). It was warmer and drier than outside.
There were no hotels in town then. The one place of entertainment was the "Elbow Room" There was no bridge from airport to Unalaska, either had a dinghy or borrow or have someone take me over. Getting back? Heh, good luck.

The photo's description of location is wrong. It was in Unalaska not Dutch Harbor, though to the un-initiated (cheechako) it makes no difference.

Next year's trip the airport manager let me sleep in the airport.

I make it a home where ever I am.

 

[VanWinkle]

Moved from Illinois to Tennessee 1 1/2 years ago. I am glad it doesn't feel like home. As
a widower I needed to start over and it has been easier here in Tennessee to start a new
life with S.O. There are many other things to like here over my prior home but most know those
things.

 

[sparky08]

Good question.

We livie in an area where few people are long timers. So, we don't feel like outsiders. Our small town is very welcoming and has a lot of gatherings (outdoor concerts, bike clubs, running clubs, etc.) that are happy to have new members.

We have been here for 4+ years and have made a lot of good friends. So, yes, this feels like home.

 

[Fisherman60]

We moved out of home of almost 30 years and yes I miss that home often. We had so many wonderful memories in that home. It’s just my wife and I and no longer needed such a large home or the land. We purchased a fairly new smaller home near our daughter and those are pluses but I truly don’t feel like it’s home even after living her 3-1/2 years. Possibly in time that will change

 

[MC Rider]

The new kid in town feeling fades away in a year or 2 for me. Been here 27 months, it is home. Don't want to leave.

 

[Jerry1]

I wouldn’t know. Unlike many here, I have never lived beyond about a 25 mile radius from where I was born. I’ve lived in a few houses (5 in 43 years of marriage) but never far from where I grew up. Leaving the house we spent 26 years in and where we raised or kids was weird but our current home feels very comfortable to us (homey, as it were). DW is friends with and regularly meets up with two ladies she went to high school with. Most of my friends came from work and now retired, a few of them have remained good friends.

 

[MarieIG]

Well, I will probably find out, but our plans to move have been delayed due to family needs.

I will have to ask DH though, as he immigrated to the US as an adult. From my observations, the town where he was born is still home - but for him it is an issue of "you can never go home again." He has a lot of friends there and really enjoys his visits, but the medical care is not good, he doesn't like the politics and the economic conditions, and his children, grandchildren, and pesky wife are in the US. He likes the beach, parks and nature in NY, has some friends here, but is perfectly willing to move out of state.

Edit: Per DH he considers our current location home.

 

[CaliKid]

We moved 4 years ago and absolutely love our new HOME! The first year was tough for my better half but I was good from day 1. I loved our former home but feel little need to go back. My wife likes going back a couple times a year to see family and friends. I am very happy with the new scenery, new places, new friends, new stuff. I thus think so much of this is a personality thing. It is working GREAT for us and we truly feel we are at home... and, who knows, we might move again one day. One day at a time! Today it is our forever home... until it is not!

 

[Ronstar]

We’ve lived our entire lives in a 15 mile radius. I drive by my high school and boyhood home a few times a week. We are extremely familiar with our surroundings.

I’m not sure how we would handle a long distance move. That said, we didn’t get homesick snowbirding in Scottsdale 3 months a year. We were always anxious to get to az right after January 1. And we were anxious to get back to Illinois April 1.

I’m positive that we could move to the phoenix area and not want to return to Illinois. Arizona felt like home during our snowbirding winters.

We’ve considered several long distance destinations for a future home. But I have second thoughts about moving anywhere other than Arizona due to unfamiliarity of the area.

And wherever we move, I’ll need a workshop. Doesn’t have to be part of our house. Could be something like this. Toy Barn | Luxury Garage | Scottsdale, Lone Mountain, Chandler

 

[shortstop14]

For the last two years, we've lived half of the time in a small village in France, near our daughter and grandson. I'm not sure it feels like home yet, as we're still learning the language which makes it harder to integrate. But we're comfortable there, have acquaintances, and could see it becoming a full time home. Being close to family makes the big difference.
The French take a while to warm up to new people, and it's not easy to find activities with people our own age. I always look forward to getting home to the US, but I also immediately look forward to our next trip to France.

 

[audreyh1]

When I graduated from university, I stayed in town with a new job, and my parents moved away! My siblings moved all over the map, some overseas. When DF retired he moved out of state to the old farm homestead he inherited from DM, but that was never home for us even though we visited cousins and grandparents there growing up. Still for many years we gathered at DF’s for Xmas. But now with DF gone it’s no longer a focal point.

We also lived many different places growing up, so there is not some spot that is overwhelmingly home. I even went to 4 different high schools!

 

[bjorn2bwild]

....................We also lived many different places growing up, so there is not some spot that is overwhelmingly home. I even went to 4 different high schools!

From the seat of a longtime itinerant, I presume the concept of home will be different than someone more planted.
After months away, I get a feeling of 'home' just visiting my storage unit and seeing all my stuff.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

Street, you and I are men of the land.

I grew up on a farm my great grandparents homesteaded. They broke the sod with oxen and I eventually got to work on it. I didn't get an opportunity to operate it like I was promised since I was 3 feet tall. I was so hurt I moved 350 miles away to live in the land where I vacationed and thought would be a great place to live, so I bought my dream house in the woods up north. Met a lot of great people but it never was home the 6 years I lived there.

Years later my brother who took over the farm went broke and my elderly mom got old and needed help. I dropped everything and moved back. Managed to save the home place, financially and physically and I moved back. I bought my grandparents' farm and remodeled their 1870's farm house.

I've always heard "you can never move home" but that is not true. I moved back, updated the house and am closer to friends and neighbors here than I've ever been. For some us you don't own the land, it owns you.

Here's a picture of the family farm house where I live. Tax value is under $100k and I wouldn't trade it for the Governor's mansion.

 

[indiajust]

my memories are in my head, on my harddrive, not the land or the real estate. It takes me about a year to figure out all the restroom locations and navigate them in the dark. After that, I'm fine.
Most of what I remember would require a time machine to visit.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

Street, you and I are men of the land.

I grew up on a farm my great grandparents homesteaded. They broke the sod with oxen and I eventually got to work on it. I didn't get an opportunity to operate it like I was promised since I was 3 feet tall. I was so hurt I moved 350 miles away to live in the land where I vacationed and thought would be a great place to live, so I bought my dream house in the woods up north. Met a lot of great people but it never was home the 6 years I lived there.

Years later my brother who took over the farm went broke and my elderly mom got old and needed help. I dropped everything and moved back. Managed to save the home place, financially and physically and I moved back. I bought my grandparents' farm and remodeled their 1870's farm house.

I've always heard "you can never move home" but that is not true. I moved back, updated the house and am closer to friends and neighbors here than I've ever been. For some us you don't own the land, it owns you.

Here's a picture of the family farm house where I live. Tax value is under $100k and I wouldn't trade it for the Governor's mansion.

Perhaps you're familiar with author Ben Logan, who wrote The Land Remembers. It's theme is basically what you stated, "the land owns you."

In Wisconsin, more than 70 percent of the people who live here were born here. I'm not one of those people; I moved here in my teens and spent nearly all my adult life here. I've lived in several parts of the state, but I have lived in my current county for 46 years in total. I look at the states to which people are flocking, and in my eyes they don't measure up to my home state, wintry weather and all.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

Perhaps you're familiar with author Ben Logan, who wrote The Land Remembers. It's theme is basically what you stated, "the land owns you."

In Wisconsin, more than 70 percent of the people who live here were born here. I'm not one of those people; I moved here in my teens and spent nearly all my adult life here. I've lived in several parts of the state, but I have lived in my current county for 46 years in total. I look at the states to which people are flocking, and in my eyes they don't measure up to my home state, wintry weather and all.

My son is an old soul. He moved to the Wasaua area a couple years ago. He is a diesel mechanic for a large Caterpillar dealer. Before that he was a diesel mechanic in South Dakota. He describes Wisconsin as "South Dakota with trees". He even gets to venture into the UP of Michigan.. He should write a book about it. America at its finest.

I love the upper Midwest ( larger cities not included).

 

[EastWest Gal]

I grew up in the SF East Bay Area and thought it was the best place in the world. After medical school, I lived on the peninsula and the south bay, in the pre-dot com days. I decided I needed a less stressful environment with less hours so I could see my family, and moved to PA. PA quickly felt like home. I was in a townhouse in Sunnyvale, but a house here, and my son was in an excellent school district. DH and I have great neighbors and a solid group of friends who help one another here.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

My son is an old soul. He moved to the Wasaua area a couple years ago. He is a diesel mechanic for a large Caterpillar dealer. Before that he was a diesel mechanic in South Dakota. He describes Wisconsin as "South Dakota with trees". He even gets to venture into the UP of Michigan.. He should write a book about it. America at its finest.

I love the upper Midwest ( larger cities not included).

I lived 50 miles northeast of Wausau when I was young. Couldn't handle it. As a Chicago transplant (even from long ago) I missed having easy access to the finer things big cities have to offer.

I'm halfway between Milwaukee and Madison. It's rural (I'm at the end of a dead-end country road) but not too rural. I can be in either city in less than an hour (in fact, I commuted to downtown Milwaukee for 21 years).

I get the attraction to the Northwoods, though. Some of my former co-workers moved north when they retired.

Dad grew up deep in the Upper Peninsula, near the Hiawatha National Forest and Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. When you walk through a white birch forest up there it's like being in a fairytale.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

I grew up in the SF East Bay Area and thought it was the best place in the world. After medical school, I lived on the peninsula and the south bay, in the pre-dot com days. I decided I needed a less stressful environment with less hours so I could see my family, and moved to PA. PA quickly felt like home. I was in a townhouse in Sunnyvale, but a house here, and my son was in an excellent school district. DH and I have great neighbors and a solid group of friends who help one another here.

Pennsylvania is another one of those states where a large percentage of the residents were born there. The old industrial areas of the Rust Belt have suffered economically, but there's a cultural solidity that survives.

 

[mebden]

I joined the Military right out of high school and was raised and lived 45 years of my life in a Northeastern city in Wisconsin right on the border of lower of the upper peninsula of Michigan. My town was a small population of 12000 everybody knew everybody. Great place to raise a family but the winters really got old so since I've made my way south where its warmer and sunnier and would not go back except to visit in summer months. I can make new friends wherever I go so relocating never bothered me and home is what you make of it.

 

[FI_RElater]

Really a question that needs serious qualifiers IMO. We’re probably an exception, maybe I shouldn’t even answer. Most people move for family first, place is secondary?

We feel totally at home in our new city/state where we didn’t know a soul after 5-1/2 years - I am sure we chose very well. BUT we both grew up in military households where we moved every 3-5 years, including overseas. And as adults we moved 4 times for my career. We don’t have kids and our families are spread out over 7 states so we can’t be near them. So we’re perfectly comfortable, even prefer learning new places and making new friends (while staying in contact with old friends).

To us, living in the same place our whole lives doesn’t sound at all appealing. I’ve lived places where local people have told me ’I wouldn’t want to move around like you have, there’s no place I’d rather live than here.’ To which I’ve replied (remember they initiated the conversation) ’if you’ve never lived anywhere else how do you know?’ No reply. We have definitely lived places we wouldn’t go back to even if you paid us, and clear preferences among the many we have lived in. And vacationing in various places is not adequate to know what it’s like living somewhere else.

Someone who’s lived in the same place all their lives, near family, or has only moved once or twice would probably find the adjustment (way) more difficult - even impossible. We embrace change, some people don’t - no right or wrong.

I’d think how far you move would be a factor as well. Moving from one neighborhood/suburb to another same city/state (not even moving IMO) or even Chicago to Indianapolis isn’t the same as moving from Boston to Houston or Paris FRA for example.

I think people that haven't moved much, especially if not a distance, cannot relate to our experiance.
"Old man" was a "lifer" and we moved a lot. A lot : I was in EIGHT different schools from third to seventh grade !! Yep. There's a reason they were called mobile homes, unless we were in base housing. And yeah, still have my dog tags from when overseas. Most moves were over a thousand miles, some over two, and of course the overseas ones longer.
Strange thing after not moving for about three years, it was strange as it's almost as if picking up and moving again was expected.
Lots of differences from civilian and military brats: moving so much means that starting in sports isn't always possible since your always the "new kid" and no one knows your level. As I mentioned above, moving also means different schools and different states can have far different approaches (flexible with student options vs everyone taking same classes) and classes (tiered or everyone of all abilities in one class, or combinations). Moving as much as we did I saw each, sometimes starting in one and going to another (how do they know where to put you ; they have to assume "average").
While I went to local "state U" I went almost 2K miles away for grad school. Moved multiple times in career and now third time in retirement.
The state I actually spent the most time in so far, due to job, never felt "home". I've relocated to an area near where I've been before (where I knew of the local history that only long-timers would know) and which was near old undergrad school. It's been almost six months, so still getting comfortable; had it been totally new area I really am not sure if it would have been good at my age (late 60's) despite my many moves in my lifetime.

 

[marko]

Family has lived in the same town since the 1700s. Thirty five years ago, we bought my grandfather's large, oceanfront home from the estate, put another $500k into it over the years and planned for it to be our "forever home". Heaven, and a place where I had so many fond memories growing up. A million dollar neighborhood with a private beach, where four generations had lived. Deep, deep roots.

Five years ago a do-gooder bought the large property next to us and turned it into a rooming house for low income. Chaos. After the fifth 4am drug raid in as many months, (guns drawn, road closed, police dogs) we made the hard decision.

We moved across town into a gated community. First owners. We never thought we would, but we're very surprised at how easily we walked away from our old home and how much at home we are here. Maybe it's because we headed to someplace better. Maybe because we got over the grief. It is home now, it feels like home. And yes, particularly after our experience, sorry, we love our HOA. We still drive by the old neighborhood and each time DW says "man, we did the right thing".

We did live in Europe for several years. It did feel a bit like home, but not really. We kept our US home as "headquarters" and just fly back and forth a lot, so home was still home. Oddly, even our Florida home doesn't really fully feel like home sometimes even though it's been in the family since the 1940s.

 

[big-papa]

Made the move from my home state after college. I was homesick for only a little bit. After only a few months in my first job, I moved to another city in the same state for a new job. I guess back then, being in my 20's it wasn't such a big deal as it was "apartment life" where I would pick up and move after each lease ran out in order to get a better deal.

Got married and bought our first house, where we've been since 1990, except for a 2 year expat assignment in Dresden, Germany. Despite a different culture and language, it didn't take long for that to feel like home. One of the high points of my career and our lives for sure.

Now we're struggling to figure out what's next, but we feel we need to make a decision whether to do a bunch of upgrades/remodeling to make it our forever home or just take care of what I call "deferred maintenance" in order to sell it and move on. We like the idea of the second one but we get stuck pretty quickly with the major question of "where". If it's away from the state where we're currently residing, I like the idea of narrowing it down and then doing some extended Airbnb/Vrbo stays to live more like a local to get the feel of a place. We'll see. I do know that I don't want to be still thinking about this 10 years from now...

Cheers

 

[levindb]

I grew up, age 5-18, in one home, so I was not used to moving. I went to a military college, and they had us changing room/roommates 4-5 times each year. I did not realize at the time we were actually learning how to relocate and adapt quickly. I have lived in 22 different homes since college graduation. Maybe all of those changes in my adult life taught me that "home" is a feeling within me and not the structure that I am living in. DW has the ability to add touches to the walls with pictures/paintings and furniture/lighting that makes where we are living feel homey.

I can understand folks who are living close to where they grew up being attached mentally and emotionally to their surroundings...and nowhere else will feel like home for them. Some folks struggle with vacations that are longer than 1-2 weeks, and are anxious to get back home. DW and I have taken a cruise for 4.5 months, and our cabin became our home, and we had tears in our eyes when we had leave the ship.

I believe the ability to make a place your home is an acquired skill...some are better at it than others. I will probably enjoy getting to know my new neighbors in the nursing home 20 years from now.