People who grew up without much money , how does that influence your lifestyle choices?

[Happy Homebody]

My family didn't have much money growing up. Not dirt poor, but living paycheck to paycheck. Often we ran out of money before the end of the month.

We really just had the basics, and low quality basics at that - cheap food, falling apart car, run down house. Very little money for extras like hobbies, entertainment, etc.

Some people in the neighborhood did a little better than us, like having a car that wasn't a complete piece of junk. No one I knew in real life was rich or even well off.

I think because of that, my desires in life were pretty modest. I wanted to live someplace halfway decent, eat good quality food, pay all the bills and have money left for hobbies and entertainment. I have that now. It may be modest, but it is a huge step up from my situation growing up.

I was curious whether others who grew up in similar circumstances are content with a modest lifestyle or desire all the expensive stuff they didn't have growing up. Or maybe something in-between.

 

[MrBojangles]

I lead a modest lifestyle. Not having much growing up makes it easy to not need much different, I haven’t known much different, but I’m able to pursue a few hobbies as well, but nothing over the top.

As for wants, I did see some incredible wealth around me growing up, but not in my family. I wanted to make an incredible fortune young and live an over the top lifestyle. Of course, that didn’t happen and it probably enabled me to be FIRE instead of bankrupt.

I had hand me down clothes growing up and restaurants were unheard of. Which is why now I dress modestly, nothing fancy, as that makes me uncomfortable. Also, I dislike restaurants because why spend so much for food when you can make it at home for less, don’t have to tip, and you actually know how it’s prepared.

Interestingly, my DW also grew up with very little, and she would eat out every meal if she could as she equates eating at home with poverty and a bland diet.

My mother cooked fairly good, and, when the money ran out before the month did, we got to eat at Grandpa & Grandma’s. Now that was a real treat! Of course, at the time, I didn’t know why we got to eat at Grandpa & Grandma’s.

 

[Koolau]

Our family never had any extra until I was about 10 years old. My parents retail business did fairly well after that, though we were never wealthy.

I had dreams of being "rich" and having what other people had, but never obsessed on it. I've always lived fairly frugally. I don't find myself coveting what others have.

BUT, now, with some luck and a lot of saving, I find that I have more than I need. For the most part, I still live frugally but don't feel deprived. Probably my favorite saying is "I have enough."

 

[aja8888]

My family didn't have much money growing up. Not dirt poor, but living paycheck to paycheck. Often we ran out of money before the end of the month.

We really just had the basics, and low quality basics at that - cheap food, falling apart car, run down house. Very little money for extras like hobbies, entertainment, etc.

Some people in the neighborhood did a little better than us, like having a car that wasn't a complete piece of junk. No one I knew in real life was rich or even well off.

I think because of that, my desires in life were pretty modest. I wanted to live someplace halfway decent, eat good quality food, pay all the bills and have money left for hobbies and entertainment. I have that now. It may be modest, but it is a huge step up from my situation growing up.

I was curious whether others who grew up in similar circumstances are content with a modest lifestyle or desire all the expensive stuff they didn't have growing up. Or maybe something in-between.

Mine was about the same as yours except we lived in a housing project ("the "projects"). My parents were alcoholics and we had just about nothing of value. I escaped by joining the military in 1964 where it made a man out of me and gave me some goals to shoot for. I used the G.I. Bill to help pay for college (I worked a job for the rest).

 

[RetiredHappy]

My parents were not poor but we lived a very frugal lifestyle. It did not shape my own lifestyle choices when I lived on my own. I have always lived well, never LBYM, but I have always been a good saver at the same time. It helped that I had a very successful career and was well paid. On the other hand, our upbringing made my sister live her lifestyle like my parents'. She and her husband are easily worth 3 times my husband's and my net worth, but she does not treat herself well at all. She would not even overspend by a cent if she can help it. I feel very bad for her.

 

[braumeister]

My family was typical in a very blue-collar neighborhood, so we had "just enough" most of the time. There were periods I remember very well where my father's union was out on strike for months at a time, and we ate a lot of onion sandwiches, but we never went hungry. Fortunately, my grandparents had a bit more, and could help now and then when needed.

So I consider that upbringing to be a real advantage today. My needs and wants are simple, and the touches of luxury I could afford simply don't interest me.

 

[Gumby]

My childhood was one of poverty, but it was long ago and far away, and I have no lingering need to compensate for it, one way or the other. I had a lucrative career and saved well for retirement. I am very happy with my (fairly high) material standard of living and the fact that I can buy and do whatever I want. But I don't want that much and don't have very expensive tastes anyway.

 

[COcheesehead]

Grew up with parent’s of the depression. Nothing was wasted. Savings was a priority. Frugality was the norm only back then it was called economizing.
Every new school year meant I got one more new pair of pants and a shirt. I had to two brothers, but the hands me downs were too worn out for the third boy, me, so I got my neighbor’s clothes. True story. It was nothing for me to wear jackets with holes in them. Frankly it was hard being a kid going to Catholic school (tuition was $90 a year I remember) with kids of rich parents. You knew there was a difference, but you couldn’t do much about it.
I carried a lot of those values into my adult years. My wife used to laugh at me because I thought long and hard about buying new underwear. That might be too spendy.
Flash forward to now. We are successful by many measures and better off than 98.5% of America and eventually it hits home that either you’ll spend or someone else will. That has helped loosen up the purse strings since retiring. We buy what we want. When we want it, but we also spend on what we value, not just junk or spending the sake of spending. We enjoy life with at least a few better things around us.
So that has been my journey.

 

[mykes2025]

Interesting question and I have never really given it a lot of thought. Just some stuff of the top of my head tho (ages 0-12 is my period):

1-I don't think we had much money when I was a kid, but we did own a house. I remember having several friends back then, some lived in houses, some lived in apartments. I just remember going over to the friends that lived in apartments to play and feeling squeezed in, cramped feeling and no personal yard tho their was common out doors areas. Perhaps thats why I prefer to own rather than rent. Who knows tho.

2- We almost never ate out. Back then (I'm 60) eating out was only for special occasions but those special occasions were to In-N-Out, Shakeys or a real low grade type of "smorgasbord" as we called a buffet back in those days. Perhaps that's why I like to eat out more today, who knows tho.

3-We got by with little back those days, so I am sure my frugal nature and desire to live below my means came from the old days, but who knows.

 

[Dtail]

Grew up white collar middle class in an apartment until 11 y.o. then a small house for a family of 6 in the suburbs.
Parents were relatively frugal, but not cheap.

 

[pb4uski]

I didn't grow up in those circumstances, but DW did... as you nicely state, not dirt poor but living paycheck-to-paycheck. DW's father died in a plane crash when she was 13 and her mom had 7 kids ranging from 4 to 17 to raise on SS survivor benefits and her wages working as a nurse. That's a lot of mouths to feed. As a result of that experience, DW is very frugal. She doesn't even like to throw away a single serving of food.

I saw the same thing with my DGM, whose husband died in a car accident in the 1940s leaving her with 4 young kids to support on essentially minimum wage. As my aunt, her youngest daughter, often says, it wasn't until she was an adult that she realized that they were poor. Anyway, DGM was very frugal. After she went into a nursing home after a fall and we were taking down her apartment we opened a drawer and found it stuffed full of those zip closing storage bags that you get at the grocery store deli... all cleaned and neatly folded. Why buy ziploc storage bags when they give them to you for free when you buy cold cuts? Better than recycling dryer sheets, eh?

 

[MRG]

My parents were born in 1917, my dad's father was killed at work six months before the depression started. Growing up my parents were very conservative about money.

My wife and I were married young and lived on love. My FIL used to say "your parents have money, you don't. "

 

[braumeister]

Even those of us who weren't well off probably know someone who had it even harder.
My wife was 12 years old before she had indoor plumbing (small rural farm). But the outhouse wasn't that far, and there was always the chamber pot under your bed. Bathing was something that happened on Saturday, when you heated water on the stove and used the big tub.

 

[GrayHare]

It's helped me give heed to wants vs. needs.

 

[omni550]

We were poor immigrants when we moved from our homeland to Canada during my toddler years. When I was 10, we relocated again—this time to the U.S.—after my father was transferred by his company.

My parents were profoundly shaped—both financially and emotionally—by the Depression and two back-to-back wars. My father served in both, and the final peace agreements forced the ceding of all their property and they had to relocate to another city. That plus the displacement from their homeland to not just one, but two new countries was a tremendous upheaval as well as a huge expense.

My mother managed the family finances with an extremely tight grip. I hated it. Other kids always seemed to have better toys, newer bikes, nicer clothes, and they lived in houses.

We lived in rentals until I was a teenager and used public transportation.. My folks finally acquired a very old, beat-up used car around that time. Eating out was a once-a-year event, if that. I wore hand-me-downs from my older sister.

I put myself through college—commuting from home to a local state university while working 20 hours a week to pay for my education.

After a successful career in engineering, I retired at 56.

Now I have more than enough and want for nothing. I own a beautiful home in Michigan, spend 6–7 months each year in my Florida condo, and travel frequently. I eat out all the time. I still drive my 2006 Highlander with over 220,000 miles on it—and I feel a little thrill every time it rolls over another 10,000. My goal is to hit "moon car" status—238,900 miles, the distance from the Earth to the moon.

My one indulgence? Lots of new clothes. Maybe it’s a reaction to all those childhood hand-me-downs.

omni

 

[youbet]

Born on the West Side of Chicago. K-12 Chicago Public Schools (with two scars to prove it). Hooked up with DW when we were 16 and have been climbing the ladder ever since. Now as geezers we live in the suburbs and are quite comfortable. Proud to be "blue collar."

 

[Teacher Terry]

I was the youngest of three kids in a blue collar family. My sister is eight years old and remembers very hard times. By the time I came along, my parents were making more money and doing well.

We lived in a nice 1200 square-foot Cape Cod that was fairly new. They drove a decent car. Our vacations were always driving up north to rent a cottage. We never ate out until I was 12 and my mom went back to work full-time and then you knew it was Friday night in Wisconsin because you were having a fish fry at the local bar).

I think my parents modeled a good money strategy by being prudent but not stingy. Although they live through the depression, they did not do the types of things that many depression area people did such as rinsing out plastic bags, and saving every last thing.

I in fact had a wonderful childhood because they spent so much time with us and we had a lot of fun. My dad especially loved kids and loved to play with us and take us places. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.

 

[street]

Very poor but never knew the difference till after I was out on my own. I got all the good genes of being frugal and use everything you have work hard and learned to be a saver. Sheep and cattle small operation we had nothing but had it all. The greatest up bringing a person could have with great roll model parents.
That humble life taught and prepared me for life to be a successful in what ever I choose to do.

 

[rk911]

My wife and I grew up in the same middle-class suburb in traditional nuclear families. Neither of us knew anything about our family's financial situation but we were warm, fed, clothed, schooled and loved. Our vacations were mostly to visit out-of-state relatives.

We are now living a not-disimilar lifestyle. We're in a middle-class neigjborhood in a modest 3BR/2 bath single family home. The only sign of 'wealth' was our motor home (since sold) and two new-er cars that replaced one that was 20-yrs old and the other that was 15-yrs old. We could afford to live in a much more lavish home on acreage but we're comfortable here. We have good neighbors and friends...what more do we need?

 

[zangbao]

I always knew we were poor growing up. I remember not having anything to eat for days at a time. We survived and my mom and siblings are doing well now.
I compare myself not to those who have more than me but for the poor me in the past. As long as I’m doing better than him I am content.

 

[NeilDH]

I grew up in a working-class family; in fact, I was the first to go to college. My father, who worked hard in the trades and on weekends, insisted on college for us — and then didn’t blink when expensive Northwestern turned out to be my choice (in fact, he cried with joy and pride). When I saw “real suburbs” west of O’Hare near age 18, I thought they were glorious; I moved there after college. I still feel like I can’t believe my good fortune.

I didn’t choose a hugely lucrative career but did well, lived pretty frugally but didn’t deprive myself — sure, frozen dinners in my 20s but still took vacations, bigger ones in my 30s. I could eat out at work eventually. Simple 2- or 3-bedroom homes. Kept cars for at least 9 years. I do hate wasting food.

My father, who passed early, would not believe I could FIRE; he’d be jealous and proud at the same time. My mother, who worked moderate jobs until 65, is very supportive of my FIREing. Meanwhile, I ride my bike around wealthier homes a lot in the suburbs, would love one, but we’re doing fine.

 

[Diogenes]

Very different story here. Maternal grandparents were wealthy, but then a certain political upheaval in the early 20th century abruptly ended that. Paternal grandparents were middle-class for the era. Everyone was "white collar", going back centuries. The males (not sure about the females) were college-graduates, or whatever then was the operative term.

Parents lived a middle class-ish life, again hard to define because that was on the other side of the planet, and metrics are incommensurable. College education and healthcare, for example were free. Private ownership of cars didn't exist before around 1960. Private ownership of real estate was impossible, though some city-dwellers had small plots beyond the suburbs, where they'd grow vegetables and such.

After immigration, the lifestyle... fell. Yes, fell. It never entirely caught up, though the financial side of things did. Parents never figured out investment, but they certainly had the savings/frugality mastered. When I first heard about "financial independence", some 45 years ago, my immediate reaction at the family dinner table was, "Oh, you mean like grandma had, when she was a teenager?"

As an only child, and son of an only-child, there are no stories of a brood of hungry mouths to feed. Instead the hunger stories were from WW2 - again, other side of the world, having nothing to do with the US Great Depression.

Lest I overshare, let's end the narrative and just get to the point: my lifelong goal was never really to live better, to be able to fly business-class or have a summer villa etc., but rather, to regain mastery over one's fate and one's environment... to be more like grandma in her childhood, now some 120 years ago.

 

[FlyingCircus]

My family didn't have much money growing up. Not dirt poor, but living paycheck to paycheck. Often we ran out of money before the end of the month.

We really just had the basics, and low quality basics at that - cheap food, falling apart car, run down house. Very little money for extras like hobbies, entertainment, etc.

Some people in the neighborhood did a little better than us, like having a car that wasn't a complete piece of junk. No one I knew in real life was rich or even well off.

I think because of that, my desires in life were pretty modest. I wanted to live someplace halfway decent, eat good quality food, pay all the bills and have money left for hobbies and entertainment. I have that now. It may be modest, but it is a huge step up from my situation growing up.

I was curious whether others who grew up in similar circumstances are content with a modest lifestyle or desire all the expensive stuff they didn't have growing up. Or maybe something in-between.

My father did the best he could; he was a Depression-era fiercely self-sufficient, tough handyman with a good white collar job whose life fell apart after 45; mother never worked, passed and he lost his job at 51. Eventually a final, much lower paying job at 53. Basics, yeah: cheap Ames sneakers and Wrangler bluejeans instead of Nikes and Levis and preppy shirts. Cars with bondo and retread tires. Decent old houses, envious of friends with modern 2 story houses & toys, My first IT job right out of college came with benefits, 401K AND a pension if I stayed forever which in the mid-80s was less common; man, I had SCORED and I was only making $15K less than my dad. Self-taught with saving and money; he left me the house; selling that got us started financially. Under-paid until the dot-com era, prime directive was for my only kid the safe, stable and happy childhood I didn't have (no whining) - so, yeah didn't LBOM but kept 401k-ing with match throughout. Got lucky to have built a beautiful 4 br house in a lovely wooded subdiv. Have spent on travel & DD's experiences, no "toys". Saved & made enough to cover 1/2 of DD's private college. Still running a 33 year old lawnmower and a 37 year old snowblower. Bought 2 to 3 year old high-quality not-luxury used cars and drove for 6-10 years each. Overspent on maintenance, never put on retreads and never bondoed or changed a tire again ;-).

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I grew up on a farm in Minnesota with two depression era parents. We didn't have much but we ate well from the garden and livestock we raised. I'm 60 now and can still live off the land. Very satisfying. Glad I know how to garden and put up meat.

We were in debt up to our eyes forever all my life. We hung in there and paid off the mortgage about 5 years ago. Now, its worth millions.....its crazy. I'm the same guy.

 

[Sunset]

Grew up poor, didn't realize how poor until my sister told me how when Mom would send me to the town butcher to get chicken wings and soup bones, it was because those were thrown out back then. So we ate many meals for free as couldn't afford enough food.

My parents never owned a house, nor invest in the stock market (too risky), always bought a second hand car. We grew vegies in the backyard a lot. Got hand me down clothes from my Cousins.

My goal in life was to have enough saved to afford a years supply of food at all times.

I am frugal, don't desire expensive stuff just because it's expensive or showy, but will buy quality high-cost things if it has intrinsic value for me. I'm happy if I get to drive my vehicle for 15 years or more.

I do find it hard to throw out stuff that is not broken.