Poll: Should Beneficiaries Know Of Their Inheritance Well in Advance?

[Midpack]

My parents gave my sister and I (50/50 sole heirs) their Trust documents, and met with us periodically to discuss, beginning more than 10 years before either passed away while they were in excellent health. They did not disclose their NW at all, though we knew they were LBYM all their years.

DW and I have given a BIL and more recently his oldest daughter, our 1st and 2nd Successor Trustees/Executors, a copy of our 'Letter of Instruction' - basically a condensed version of our Trust. The BIL knows our NW in general terms, we're comfortable sharing that because his NW is about double ours - and he doesn't need or want more money. I don't believe the daughter has any idea the size or our estate (or her Dad's), I'm guessing she will be shocked to find out.

If our parents are any indication, DW and I will be around 20 more years give or take.

Our other beneficiaries, 8 nieces and nephews (most in their 20's & 30's, a couple older) - all legal adults, don't have any idea. Should we let them know they're in the Trust in general terms (without any clue re: size of estate), or let it come as complete surprise?

TBH I'm not inclined to tell anyone beyond our 2 Successor Trustee/Executors - but maybe I'm missing something.

 

[Gumby]

I would not tell. Why raise expectations? And what if you change your mind about one or more of them?

 

[HarveyS]

let it come as complete surprise

 

[RetiredHappy]

My son has a copy of our trust and advanced health care directive. If he bothers to read, he will see who our beneficiaries are - him and charities. I have also verbally told him countless times to stop being so frugal because he will inherit millions. He is so painfully frugal that it hurts just to know that he can treat himself better. In his mind, what is his is his and what is mine is mine. He doesn't seem to have the concept or think about when I am gone. I do gift money into his investment account each year and since he has to look at 1099 statement when he does taxes, he knows that his investments are growing slowly.

 

[Kings over Queens]

Our kids know everything. We felt it important to keep them informed.

We don't have any beneficiaries past them, not to any significant degree. I plan to give money to nieces, nephews and siblings before we die, and their won't be any inheritance passed to them, certainly not anything to tell them about in advance. but our kids, yes, they will be kept informed the entire ride.

 

[Koolau]

We don't even know what WE are doing yet.

 

[brett]

They are aware of our wills. They have zero insight into our current financials or what they will inherit. It will be something of a surprise.

We do plan on a large gift for each of them in the next few years. One to pay off a mortgage, the other towards buying a home.

 

[Focus]

I had a lot of nieces and nephews from my spouse's side of the family in my will. I saw them grow up and was close to them, so I felt good about that...until my spouse, after 18 years together, had a massive midlife crisis and asked for a divorce. Since then, there's been no contact, even though my ex and I are on friendly terms. It's very sad, but that's life, and I'm now glad I didn't let them know they were once in my will.

 

[aaronc879]

If you are leaving millions and it's being left to close relatives like children then I would let them know. If you are dividing a million or 2 between a dozen nieces and nephews then I would probably not say anything except maybe to whomever is going to be the executor, if it's a family member.

 

[PatrickA5]

My three kids know they will inherit equally. They don't know the amount. Could be a lot. Could be very little. No reason to raise their expectations.

 

[Pointby2]

I went as far as asking the kids, DS/DD, what they would do with the house after we passed. Would they live in it? Sell it?

That's as far as we've gotten. Oh, DD definitely would live in the house. DS, as usual, noncommittal.

 

[Original Wally]

Interesting issue. DW Molly and I tend to lean towards disclosure. The three (One Daughter, two sons) are all doing reasonably well in their lives. Molly will probably live to be 100. I have one foot on the proverbial banana peel. Shrug.

 

[Ronstar]

We recently had 2 trusts, POAs and assorted estate planning docs prepared. We have no kids. Our niece is first successor trustee of our trusts. Our niece and nephew are beneficiaries of the trusts, 50% each. Our niece and nephew are 50 % beneficiaries each of all of our non trust assets - being our IRAs.

Our niece is first in line POA for property and health care for both DW and I. I asked her if she would be POA - she said yes. ( I recently provided her with our POA docs). I told her that she would also be a successor trustee to our trusts and that her and her brother would be beneficiaries of the trusts. I have not given her or her brother copies of the trusts yet.

I ordered NOKBOX light in an effort to organize everything that our next of kin needs to know when we are gone. I am developing a "needs to know" document that I will share with my niece when it is complete.

The document contains a comprehensive list of all of our financial accounts, as well as all information that she would need, such as house, vehicle, insurance, etc.

The document does not contain account balances or account usernames and passwords. The document does contain references to our password manager where access to account information is provided.

I expect to give her ( and review with her) our "needs to know" document by the end of the year, as well as provide her with copies of our trusts, and other estate planning docs that we haven't provided yet.

I'm still thinking how to best provide her with our password manager. But I don't expect to provide her with account balances anytime soon.

 

[Ronstar]

My parents gave my sister and I (50/50 sole heirs) their Trust documents, and met with us periodically to discuss, beginning more than 10 years before either passed away while they were in excellent health. They did not disclose their NW at all, though we knew they were LBYM all their years.

DW and I have given a BIL and more recently his oldest daughter, our 1st and 2nd Successor Trustees/Executors, a copy of our 'Letter of Instruction' - basically a condensed version of our Trust. The BIL knows our NW in general terms, we're comfortable sharing that because his NW is about double ours - and he doesn't need or want more money. I don't believe the daughter has any idea the size or our estate (or her Dad's), I'm guessing she will be shocked to find out.

If our parents are any indication, DW and I will be around 20 more years give or take.

Our other beneficiaries, 8 nieces and nephews (most in their 20's & 30's, a couple older) - all legal adults, don't have any idea. Should we let them know they're in the Trust in general terms (without any clue re: size of estate), or let it come as complete surprise?

TBH I'm not inclined to tell anyone beyond our 2 Successor Trustee/Executors - but maybe I'm missing something.

In your case, I'd do what you are inclined to do. Definitely tell the successor trustees/ executors (and provide copies). But with 8 beneficiaries - I don't think I would tell them, at least not yet. It could create some family issues that you don't need to referee.

 

[Slim11]

I am in a diffrent boat altogether. With a minor child, and an a significant other that will not manage money well. So I had to tell them and break down a plan. Otherwise, I wouldnt have a need to tell them or anyone. I am not planning on dieing anytime soon, but this is the In case I get hit by a bus plan. I left and discussed accounts, and plans for what they should do with the estate. This is further declared in my trust, with duel trustees to make sure needs are getting met before wants.

 

[audreyh1]

Option #6 we haven’t decided

exactly what to tell anybody. We are much more focused on gifting now.

 

[Car-Guy]

Can't vote again. 1/2 of mine will likely go to charities.

 

[Flyfish1]

I ordered NOKBOX light in an effort to organize everything that our next of kin needs to know when we are gone.

Thank you for that suggestion - I am going to order one.

In regards to the original question: With 8 beneficiaries, I would let them be surprised.

Our kids know where our Trust documents are and that they are the beneficiaries. I think they feel that we are worth a lot more than we are. IDK.
On the other hand , my elderly parents won't tell me a thing. No idea who the attorney is. No idea if they are on their last dime. They refuse to talk about it. That will be a challenge.

 

[badatmath]

I was quite young and had nothing but I put my then BF as a POD on my bank account. I proudly told my other friend how smart and adult I was and they suggested I remove it ASAP in case he wanted to arrange an "accident". Obviously I'm still here and long past that guy but I've kept more in mind that people are capable of doing nasty things.

Would you still want to give money if one of the 8 beneficiaries is arrested for some serious crime or becomes an addict or. . . whatever.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

I have no beneficiary and it’s all going to charity, so I didn’t vote. I will say that dear old Dad let us know. His will said that if I went before my DW then my share would go to my siblings. Brother mentioned that to DW and said it was “as it should be.” Maybe, but that kind of teed her off. Although I knew I would inherit and I knew roughly how much, I never counted it in my FIRE plan since you never know if Alzheimer’s, a late marriage to a bimbo, bad investments, or whatever would wipe it out.

I think telling beneficiaries probably depends on the beneficiary.

 

[badatmath]

I have no beneficiary and it’s all going to charity, so I didn’t vote. I will say that dear old Dad let us know. His will said that if I went before my DW then my share would go to my siblings. Brother mentioned that to DW and said it was “as it should be.” Maybe, but that kind of teed her off. Although I knew I would inherit and I knew roughly how much, I never counted it in my FIRE plan since you never know if Alzheimer’s, a late marriage to a bimbo, bad investments, or whatever would wipe it out.

I think telling beneficiaries probably depends on the beneficiary.

That reminds me when someone I know was told he'd inherit equally with his siblings and that was fine and dandy until his wife heard her husband had been "slighted" by them picking the youngest child as executor instead of him (the oldest). In the end he got nothing anyway as they changed their minds so it caused a bit of drama for no reason.

 

[skipro33]

besides my wife, the only other people I truly trust in this world are my two sons. They get along great and we all spend every holiday and birthday together as well as many vacations as a family.
My sons are listed as durable power of attorney for our medical for one son and financial for the other. We have everything of any real value in our trust and they are listed as trustees when we pass away. They were both told they are the sole heirs of our estate and that they can do with the proceeds as they see fit; gift to others in the family, charities, what ever.

 

[big-papa]

We have 1 heir, our daughter. She will receive whatever we haven't spent and she knows that. She doesn't know the dollar amount because we can't possibly know that ourselves. She has a snapshot of our wealth from about 6 years ago, just before she started college but it's significantly larger now.

Cheers.

 

[c998877]

I have one mid-40s son. I gave him an estimate barring any need I may have for it.

 

[srblanco7]

I voted “all w/o $ amount”. Our kids (both in their early 20s) understand - at a high level - our estate planning documents (will, trust, health care proxies, POAs, etc) - and that they will inherit things on a 50/50 basis as long as we believe that them inheriting the money won’t be a negative for them (as might be the case, for example, if one were an addict). Thankfully, there’s never been a hint of that and both are great people and financially responsible (noted - I may be mildly biased in my assessment).

I selected “w/o $ amount” as it’s impossible to accurately forecast what our estate may be when the second of us passes. In all likelihood, we can have a greater impact by helping them financially in their 20s and 30s - which is our current plan.