Pretty Sure We’re Never Retiring...Need Advice

[ivinsfan]

It's easy to make fun of others isn't it, when they're strangers behind a keyboard somewhere far far away.

I'll take the good advice and encouragement that many of you have provided; I'd not heard of the 'Consumer Expenditure Survey' or the book 'Your Money or Your Life.'

I'll dump the rest of it. I'm glad that my troubles make some of you feel so great about your own decisions.

And now you are mad. So like some posters here I have seen more then one friend/family member in your shoes. They plod along until something bad happens and they feel desperate and start asking for help. And guess what they all have some degree of denial and also get mad at people trying to help them by telling them the truth. It's a process.

And you completely discount the posters that are saying it will be hard, we're pulling for you, good luck and so on. Most of us are saying Good Luck because we want you know there is no malice or as you say "I'm better then you" going on here. Sometimes the very advice you need to hear and follow is the hardest road to take.

Getting peeved as us and discounting all the great advice here is against the interest of you and your family.

 

[Time2]

As a note of encouragement, my wife and I, have an inflation adjusted average married income of $71k. Now that we are retired, calculations show that we can can sustainably spend more than we did through all the years of our marriage. You have a high income, you can make the changes needed and grow a nice nest egg.
Get that job, build an emergency fund, learn how to be frugal (it's a way of life), whittle down your debt, and then start investing.
Living debt free, removes a burden from your shoulders.

 

[Pellice]

Living debt free, removes a burden from your shoulders.

I wrote a longer response, but, you know what, Time2's statement is succinct and oh so true!

 

[GreenEggs]

It's easy to make fun of others isn't it, when they're strangers behind a keyboard somewhere far far away.

I'll take the good advice and encouragement that many of you have provided; I'd not heard of the 'Consumer Expenditure Survey' or the book 'Your Money or Your Life.'

I'll dump the rest of it. I'm glad that my troubles make some of you feel so great about your own decisions.

Were you expecting us to set up a Go Fund Me page for you?

You knew what your problems were before posting your story. You could have lurked & learned without laying out your financial details for us to comment on. You have been given some long, well written, thoughtful advice from quite a few members here.

Sorry that your "reality" sounds crazy to many of us. Look at the income level that you have posted. We are used to reading about people who make 1/3 of your incomes saving twice as much. Those are the stories that you should have been inspired by & learned from.

Getting mad is probably a good thing for you. Maybe you will want to prove the naysayers wrong and come back in a few years proudly telling how you made major financial changes and have turned things around. We all are rooting for you & would love you to see you succeed. You "can" do it. We all hope that you "will" do it.

(Btw, don't get ruffled by the joking. We joke and pick on each other about everything. It's not you, it "us". )

 

[Pellice]

I thought it possible the OP was trolling as well. But the responses have interested me anyway because you can just pick out the common threads that bring people to this site. There's a visceral recoiling from debt. I fear debt, but I REALLY hate interest (which I picture in my mind as things that I want but cannot get because instead I'm giving handfuls of cash to someone else, for nothing).

There's an ever present anxiety about being in over one's head on spending. Maybe some people can put it out of their mind except for the moment the bills come, but most here would be kept awake if spending were out of control, even those who are rich. The "Blow that Dough" thread is almost serene because "that dough" is all already budgeted for "that purchase."

And, finally, I can relate to how so many can easily visualize their retired future selves and life. I don't think this clarity of imagination is innate to everybody, but the vision of the future is fairly real and concrete to most here. It wasn't/isn't hard to imagine how we might be living in X years.

So, an interesting forum thread in any case.

 

[mountainsoft]

Welcome Supermint!

I haven't followed this conversation, but it sounds like you guys made really good money and let your spending get out of control because of it. I'm sorry to hear you lost your job, going from 268K to 118K sucks, but that's still a good income. My wife and I combined have never earned more than 65K and we are debt free and live quite comfortably. It is possible to get by with less.

I’m to receive about $45k in a small inheritance soon, and I have so many options of where to apply it that I’m just...stuck.

We owe the IRS $750 a month (current balance is $25k), have $11k in credit card debt, a personal loan for $12k (12%i) that I don’t remember why we needed, another loan for $20k that holds my SUV as collateral at 8%, a loan for the top of the line appliances that my husband wanted in the home with a remaining balance of $22k at 9% interest

Personally, I would pay off the IRS first. That's one debtor you don't want to owe money to. After that I would pay off the highest interest debt first, starting with the credit card, and then the personal loan.

Obviously, cut back on your spending and don't add anymore debt. Remember, you have to live on 118K now, not 250K. Build up an emergency fund, then you can focus on saving. Learn to live on the 118K income and if you find a new job you can devote that extra income to paying off your debt and building up your savings.

we do not buy a lot of 'things' or clothes, or whatever people spend their money on.

We have a tractor with a balance of $15k.
We also purchased a vacation club membership for $25k (like a timeshare).
$2500 for a pond pump (the pond was green and slimy!)
$6k for concrete at the shop
$10k in extra closing costs
$6k to pay one of the vendors outside the mortgage
$3k for a new well pump
$7k for shop materials and
$7k for window coverings

I don't mean to judge, but it sounds like you have some expensive tastes. Unless you are a working farm, you don't need a tractor costing more than $15K. You can always rent equipment for the few times you need it. I would sell the tractor and use the money to pay off debt.

Lose the vacation club. It's a bad investment to start with, and a luxury you can't afford.

A slimy pond doesn't sound like a big priority, but I would have rented a pump if it needed to be drained. If it doesn't have a clean source of fresh water it's just gonna slime up again. Long term, it would be cheaper to just fill in the pond.

I'm not sure what the concrete was for, but if it was for a driveway gravel would have worked just as well and cost far less.

And 7K for window coverings on just half the house is crazy. There are MUCH cheaper options available. We installed blinds on our entire house for less than $1500.

You don't always have to give up the things you want, but you do need to find cheaper alternatives. For example, an inflatable or above ground pool would be just as much fun as an in ground pool, but would cost a whole lot less.

Learn to do things yourself. For example, sew your own curtains instead of paying those ridiculous prices. It's more work, but you'll appreciate the final product a lot more.

Don't buy anything you can't pay cash for. You might have to wait a few months to get what you're wanting, but have patience until you can save up to get it.

It's going to take an adjustment in your lifestyle but you can certainly dig your way out of this and start saving for retirement. Good luck! Keep us updated.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Instead of the pool consider having a family project of putting in an edible or permaculture lawn with flowers, fruit trees, vegetables and a butterfly garden. Then instead of ongoing maintenance costs of maintaining a pool or mowing a lawn, you can eat healthy, help the planet, and save money on groceries and cut flowers every month for as long as you live in your house. Add in a fire pit, barbecue, games like badminton or a used outdoor pool / ping pong table with festive solar lights strung all around instead of the in ground pool. Make a place you and you kids can have parties and friends over for good memories at a much lower cost than the pool.

Advertisers have a vested interest in making us all think we have to spend a ton of money to have fun, but fun really doesn't have to cost a lot, especially for kids. Our kids even as teens had a lot of good times with their friends just with pizza and video games or backyard barbecues.

 

[Amethyst]

This is what our former neighbors in MD did with their huge back yard. (They weren't about to do garden work!) They had a huge extended family, so there were already plenty of pools for their kids to visit elsewhere. Meanwhile, they collected everyone else's waste wood/branches for bonfires at each kid's birthday party, graduations etc. The dad also put in a "he shed" for himself ("the house belongs to her," he said). the shed would not have been cheap, but compared to a pool it was peanuts.

Instead of the pool ...Add in a fire pit, barbecue, games like badminton or a used outdoor pool / ping pong table with festive solar lights strung all around instead of the in ground pool. Make a place you and you kids can have parties and friends over for good memories at a much lower cost than the pool.

es.

 

[travelover]

Round Three.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I would also be concerned about what type of example you are setting for your kids. We taught ours that you cannot necessarily afford everything you want and how to make good choices. We did this by things like giving them a certain amount of money for school clothes and telling them we didn’t care what a single item cost as long as they were able to buy a certain number of pants and shirts. My oldest wanted a pair of expensive jeans from France and was able to get them by buying others from the clearance rack.

 

[tmm99]

We did this by things like giving them a certain amount of money for school clothes and telling them we didn’t care what a single item cost as long as they were able to buy a certain number of pants and shirts. My oldest wanted a pair of expensive jeans from France and was able to get them by buying others from the clearance rack.

Great idea!

 

[sheehs1]

It's easy to make fun of others isn't it, when they're strangers behind a keyboard somewhere far far away.

I'll take the good advice and encouragement that many of you have provided; I'd not heard of the 'Consumer Expenditure Survey' or the book 'Your Money or Your Life.'

I'll dump the rest of it. I'm glad that my troubles make some of you feel so great about your own decisions.

Good idea to take the great advice and encouragement from those that took their time to respond. I can't add much more than what has already been suggested to you.

Most of us on this forum understand that "debt" makes "someone else" wealthy particularly with those interest rates you posted and are paying. Sometimes debt is necessary or even desired if leveraged properly. That is not the position you are in.

You are 48, soon to be 50 and are getting to the age where those jobs may not come easy for you. Not making an age discrimination statement but it certainly was my experience as companies can hire far younger people for less money. It's just part of the reality in the job market. (unless you have skills not easy to replace). I am sure you can find a job. What it pays remains to be seen.

Like others here and if I was in your position, I would worry about 1 or 2 life's circumstances that would tip me towards bankruptcy. Most of us here "lived below our means" for decades, saved and invested for decades to avoid the situation you now have. It is your responsibility (and your husband's) to protect your family from the "winds of change" and "financial ruin". I hope you take all the advice that has been offered seriously. You still have time to turn this around.
Consider this: had you posted this and you were 60ish, (10 years or so) the prognosis would be grim.

Rooting for you and please update us. We love a success story!

 

[notyep]

Live today like no one else so tomorrow, you can live like no one else

Retirement is VERY possible and achievable (even with the mountain of debt in front) but will require a 180 degree "unified" life change and walking (not talking) the "narrow road" in a focused manner and avoiding the "wide lifestyle highway". I would sock that $45k and establish that as your emergency fund (don't touch it). There is absolutely no way I would keep a $2700/mo mortgage for 27years. Downsize fast and use the profit proceeds to pay off the debt. Your income is your wealth and too much of it is literally flying out of the window each month. Wrap a $100 bill around your bank card to remind you each time you're swiping it that you just gave away some of your wealth with that swipe (180 degree way of thinking). Pretty soon you will be able to retire on that $130K+ property, build an efficient (non-wealth draining home) and your hubby can build and fly "R/C" planes all day long (from the safety of the ground). ?

 

[WyomingLife]

Irony:

Pool construction involves digging a hole then pouring a disproportionate amount of one’s assets into said hole.

From a cosmological perspective, this all makes sense. Or not. Whatever.

 

[Gumby]

MOD NOTE -- OP knows there are issues; that's why she came here. If you have positive suggestions to help, then make them. If all you want to do is dump on her, then there are probably much better uses for your time and energies.

 

[kgtest]

When we look at your spending and your finances, we recoil in horror. To most people here, your financial situation looks like a train wreck.

Recoil in horror. That's the phrase of the year. My constructive post of the day, is that no matter how bad, no matter how horrific, no matter how terrible... the choices we make today, tomorrow and the next will directly impact the outcomes . So constructive choices *NOT CONSTRUCTION... vs Destructive choices.

Build something you can hand your hat on!! Start making a change and there are MANY good suggestions in this thread.

 

[ivinsfan]

Irony:

Pool construction involves digging a hole then pouring a disproportionate amount of one’s assets into said hole.

From a cosmological perspective, this all makes sense. Or not. Whatever.

Well none of us can judge someone who wants a pool. Just because you don't want one and think they are a waste of your money doesn't mean everyone thinks the same as you.

In this case the OP can't afford a pool now which is a different question then if all pools are a waste of money. Whatever..do you have any useful (polite) advice for the OP?

 

[kgtest]

Pools are awesome! Especially if its your friends. Let them hire the pool boy, buy the chemicals and new heaters and pool covers and motors. My in-laws have one, and I can attest it's a money pit. But a fun one that we splash around in making memories all summer long with grand kids. BUT... he is a retired cardiologist who can more than afford to pour money into a hole.

 

[aja8888]

Pools are awesome! Especially if its your friends. Let them hire the pool boy, buy the chemicals and new heaters and pool covers and motors. My in-laws have one, and I can attest it's a money pit. But a fun one that we splash around in making memories all summer long with grand kids. BUT... he is a retired cardiologist who can more than afford to pour money into a hole.

Pools are great. We had an inground one at our home in California when the kids were pre-teen. They loved it and we had numerous adult pool parties too.

But, besides the installation cost of the pool, there are ongoing expenses such as maintaining the water chemical balance, cleaning, insurance adders, maintenance of pump and filter equipment, etc.

To some, a pool is viewed as an asset to others, it is viewed as an expense.

 

[mystang52]

OP would get encouragement and kudos just by writing one (presumably truthful) statement: "We started paying down our debt. I took the $45,000 and paid off the IRS debt and the personal loan." Or, any other of the debts. She'd be pleasantly surprised by the sincere encouragement.