Psychic numbing when you're close to winning the game

[segfault]

I was listening to the excellent Hidden Brain podcast recently, and there was an episode which discussed the phenomenon of psychic numbing--basically, if a single person dies, we often consider it tragedy, but if there is a large-scale humanitarian disaster, we often express a lower degree of concern.

I've noticed a similar thing as I get closer to FI and most financial decisions I make are essentially adjusting the sails--I'm fortunate that I could stop contributing anything to savings now, and still have a comfortable retirement well before age 65. As this has happened, the dollar figures I see for my net worth or the value of my portfolio tend to look increasingly abstract. Has anyone else experienced this? I occasionally get the thought to look for a higher paying job, then realize that, this late in the game, it wouldn't really make that much of a difference, so I should probably either stay put or look for something I find more fulfilling to finish out my career.

 

[FreeBear]

I've noticed a similar thing as I get closer to FI and most financial decisions I make are essentially adjusting the sails--I'm fortunate that I could stop contributing anything to savings now, and still have a comfortable retirement well before age 65. As this has happened, the dollar figures I see for my net worth or the value of my portfolio tend to look increasingly abstract. Has anyone else experienced this? I occasionally get the thought to look for a higher paying job, then realize that, this late in the game, it wouldn't really make that much of a difference, so I should probably either stay put or look for something I find more fulfilling to finish out my career.

This is also called "diminishing returns".

I spent 2 decades at my last gig. Within the first 5 years, I realized that I wanted to retire early. Talking to friends from university, I knew that the grass wasn't greener at other companies. In fact, it was often worse; they were more unhappy than me!

Near the end I turned down "opportunies" to retrain or more into management to extend my career. All of these would have been a PITA without the commensurate compensation. My career languished, but I didn't care because I had an exit strategy. I did my job but didn't have to be a hero. Right before I departed, management announced plans to offshore most of the department. Yawn, I had already moved on.

If you are within 3-5 years of hanging it up, I don't see any sense in changing j*bs. Instead, put you energy into planning your exit and what you want to do in your next life while riding the gravy train at w*rk.

 

[segfault]

Right before I departed, management announced plans to offshore most of the department.

That actually sounds like an ideal way to go, if it coincides with when you planned to leave anyway, since you might get a severance package and would also be eligible for unemployment. Also, it could help sidestep any awkward questions from third parties whom you might not want to know you retired--"no, I haven't found a new j-b yet!"

 

[plex]

I am very close, and I do look at the situation somewhat more abstractly lately, but, this is on purpose rather than rather than it being spontaneous. Basically I knew I would have to look at the exact details of what I am doing next, and look again at the big picture to nail down an exact date based on my current numbers, future costs, and future income sources. For me, I was always very certain I would generally retire, and what I would generally do to make the most out of retirement (really dive back full-time into my hobbies, get back to exercising regularly, see my parents more).

The notable things I have discovered was that social security still has a moderate effect on my retirement, it lets me retire about half a year earlier if I factor it in, despite it being very far away. The housing market where I am considering moving is not in a great stage of the housing cycle to be moving from renting to first home/condo buying, I estimate it is somewhere in the beginning of the hyper-supply stage, which has been slowed a bit by COVID preventing builders from building as much as they want, this stage is around 3-5 years long, which is almost too long to wait to buy, especially considering record low mortgage rates, but will make buying painful, as there is really limited negotiation room. Learned more about Roth conversion ladders, and realized they are much more suitable for me than the equivalent of a 72t for my TSP account, I am glad they made the partial conversion change in Sept 2019 or it would have made the process much less efficient.

 

[YVRRocketSurgery]

Just from a total nest egg perspective, yes, the numbers end up being a bit abstract to me too. However, where the context comes into focus for me is trying to apply a withdrawal strategy to it, estimating how much annual retirement income it might generate, and sketching out what I could/want to spend it on.

I've been in a pretty good place with my numbers for a few years now.
On one hand, it's allowed me to have no ambition to get promoted and be pretty apethetic when it comes to recognition, raises, and bonuses. However, I still want to do a good job and not let my team down. That combo has kind of inadvertently worked out as coworkers don't see my as competition and increases in remuneration has still occurred pretty regularly.

But because I'm working more towards a retirement timeline instead of a target number, I keep moving the goalposts as the numbers continue to grow beyond base level expectations. So, while I haven't necessarily been concerned about losing my job and stuggling to reach my base goals in retirement, I end up stressing about meeting my adjusted numbers instead of just being happy about hitting my original targets.

 

[Koolau]

I think it's a reminder that the most important thing in ER is to start when you are young - saving and investing WITH the goal of ER. Later, we have less ability to change our numbers BUT Mr. Market moves (hopefully in our favor) and in many cases gives back more in a year than we could even earn - let alone contribute to our ER stash. That is a good feeling indeed. YMMV

 

[christinarobert]

Falling prey to psychic numbing is natural at times since people are involved in their own problems which proves to be quite stressful leading to anxiety. I had witnessed a situation during my 2 years at a company where I had to deal with a boss that had anger issues and was a sexist since I had colleagues who were at the company for 5 years plus but were not promoted. A great colleague of mine successfully completed a project and thought she was finally going to be promoted but down the line our boss promoted someone else but she didn't complain since she was going through psychic numbing. Later down the road she just found another job with a great promotion.

 

[brett]

I knew six weeks before getting a package that it would be coming.

This knowledge really changed my attitude. No more 10-12 hours. Did not care as much about meeting/exceeding the quarterly sales, revenue, and profit goals. HR issues seem to vanish overnight.

It was incredible how fast I was able to switch off and how much better I felt knowing I had achieved my goal of FIRE with a golden handshake.

Looking back, it was a great way to go. The termination package was no sudden surprise, I had time to call around to my colleagues in the industry to engage a good lawyer to handle the negotiation with my employer. Got everything out of the office and off my company laptop that I needed to.

It was all good. My boss was surprised. He though that I would be disappointed. I was thrilled. Only regret is that it did not come a year earlier.

 

[Jeffman52]

I am about a year from retirement (my sig says less). But knowing this is coming, I have mentally gotten off the 'coaster. No more 12 hour days, working on weekends to make some abstract date just to make someone upstairs happy.


Just last week I was being asked to spend extra time to expedite an Executive summary that normally takes a couple of weeks to complete. I stuck to my guns and gave them the 8 hr days (5 working days) answer then grabbed the popcorn to see what would happen. (I have not told them I am retiring next year)






Nothing. They caved and said as soon as it was ready to go ahead and send it.


All that being said, I am mentally off the roller coaster. I don't slack when I am working but no more crazy hours and extra work that is unnecessary.

 

[big-papa]

This thread definitely strikes a chord. The last 3 jobs I had, I was certain was going to be the last one before I retired. They had other plans, however. At this point I *know* this is my last job and have mentally set the date to be 11 months from now, due to some RSU's vesting in the first half of next year. Though they don't know it yet. The only problem is that I'm now cycling through psychic numbing, sometimes exhilaration still appears at work, and sometimes total aggravation at work. And with new executive management, a lot of changes are in the works, some of which I'm involved in making happen.

Some days when I'm aggravated, I want to just pull the plug now because those RSU's aren't going to make a tremendous difference in the scheme of things. Some days, I'm excited enough by what I'm doing that another 11 months will be just fine. Other days, just numb...

Cheers,
Big-Papa

 

[skyking1]

i vacillate quite a bit these days too. DW's situation is more volatile and less conducive to travel and fun. I think I'll have to retire before she will or at the same time, but frankly if she quit now, I could go on doing what I am doing for longer. I can take time readily for travel and the like, take the odd days off with no worries at all.

 

[audreyh1]

Psychic? As in foretelling the future?

Surely they mean psychological.

 

[Jim59]

This thread definitely strikes a chord. The last 3 jobs I had, I was certain was going to be the last one before I retired. They had other plans, however. At this point I *know* this is my last job and have mentally set the date to be 11 months from now, due to some RSU's vesting in the first half of next year. Though they don't know it yet. The only problem is that I'm now cycling through psychic numbing, sometimes exhilaration still appears at work, and sometimes total aggravation at work. And with new executive management, a lot of changes are in the works, some of which I'm involved in making happen.

Some days when I'm aggravated, I want to just pull the plug now because those RSU's aren't going to make a tremendous difference in the scheme of things. Some days, I'm excited enough by what I'm doing that another 11 months will be just fine. Other days, just numb...

Cheers,
Big-Papa

Your comment “I know this is my last job…………” is so true. I had been *planning* on quitting in April this year, but as time got closer I was less certain. However, during my daily walks, when WFH, the moment arrived. I *knew* that I would would quit March/ April 2022. It is just a moment where that decision is made and a peacefulness descends on you.

I think for other future retirees you need to experience that moment to finally arrive at the decision to quit.

 

[DrRoy]

I definitely took my foot off the gas the last year or two before RE. Our NW has hit a level since then that we really never expected, so we have turned up the spending.