Pulling the trigger but...

[Hosmer]

I spent a lot of my career in burnout, and understand what you are going through. The distress increases and decreases based on the events of the day. You will get through this. Stay for the bonus. Spring is a marvelous time to retire.

Practical suggestions:

When you are bored out of your mind: Mindfulness. Nothing fancy, take a few deep breaths and notice your surroundings-the view out the window, the pattern of a carpet, marvel at the work that went into the construction of the building you are in.

When you are stressed:
Gratitude. That you have had a career which allowed you to have security in your finances, unlike most. That you will soon be able to be master of your own time with the one you love most. That when you walk out that door next spring, you will have your first summer off since leaving school, and more freedom than you have ever known.

this is fabulous!. Thank you

 

[Maenad]

When you are stressed:
Gratitude. That you have had a career which allowed you to have security in your finances, unlike most. That you will soon be able to be master of your own time with the one you love most. That when you walk out that door next spring, you will have your first summer off since leaving school, and more freedom than you have ever known.

This is lovely, thank you.

 

[WyomingLife]

I spent a lot of my career in burnout, and understand what you are going through. The distress increases and decreases based on the events of the day. You will get through this. Stay for the bonus. Spring is a marvelous time to retire.

Practical suggestions:

When you are bored out of your mind: Mindfulness. Nothing fancy, take a few deep breaths and notice your surroundings-the view out the window, the pattern of a carpet, marvel at the work that went into the construction of the building you are in.

When you are stressed:
Gratitude. That you have had a career which allowed you to have security in your finances, unlike most. That you will soon be able to be master of your own time with the one you love most. That when you walk out that door next spring, you will have your first summer off since leaving school, and more freedom than you have ever known.

+1 Simply perfect. The above should be printed on t-shirts and broadly distributed.

 

[CindyBlue]

Things were getting worse and worse at work when I retired, so when I gave notice in January for a June retirement, I decided that I was going to do everything I could to try to make things better for the ones I was leaving behind. This meant everything from making sure I said something nice to everyone I met, to checking for, and filling the copier with, paper, to giving away my stuff as the months went by to to people I thought might want it, to speaking up at meetings because I had nothing to lose. It really made the months go faster and I felt better in those last six months than I had in years!

 

[pb4uski]

....to speaking up at meetings because I had nothing to lose. ...

One of the wonderful things about being FI is having the freedom to speak up and say those things that everyone is thinking but that a client or higher-ups in the chain of command don't want to hear but need to be said. I found it could be very effective as long as I chose my words carefully and was diplomatic about it... and ironically, clients and higher-ups loved it! (albeit perhaps not so much in the heat of the moment). Go figure.

 

[CindyBlue]

One of the wonderful things about being FI is having the freedom to speak up and say those things that everyone is thinking but that a client or higher-ups in the chain of command don't want to hear but need to be said. I found it could be very effective as long as I chose my words carefully and was diplomatic about it... and ironically, clients and higher-ups loved it! (albeit perhaps not so much in the heat of the moment). Go figure.

This was my experience, also. Like you, I chose my words carefully so I wasn't exacerbating the situation for everyone who had to stay behind (except in one case, but that was in private and boy, did that ever feel good!!) but I did speak the truth. It felt good to be able to say what everyone was thinking but didn't feel they could say because of the fear of retribution. At that point, having made my decision to leave, I had nothing to lose, and my coworkers had everything to gain by having a spokesperson...and they have said numerous times how much they appreciate my actions. I almost wish I'd had the guts to do it sooner...but then again...maybe not (smile!)

 

[Pellice]

Just spend more time on these discussion boards!

+1 - VERY GOOD TIP

Calendar countdown is helpful - and there are different ways of doing it. I had a countdown of actual work days (had subtracted holidays and weekends).

Get the health checkups done now. Gives you time off as well.

The fact the two of you are going at the same time is very exciting! Do a ritual on Fridays, maybe going out for a seasonal cocktail.

Plan some activities for immediately after you go, before your May trip. Maybe a small party or a WEEKDAY -)) overnight trip to a park's lodge.

A trip to Europe can take as much research and prep as you care to put into it. You can read some history or novels, or get some maps to pore over.

Make lists while at work meetings, books to read, home projects. My last few months, I worked to tailor a version of "Bullshit Bingo" (https://bullshitbingo.net/) to fit my institution by compiling buzzwords I would never have to hear (or use myself) again.

3 months is short! It will fly by.

 

[SoReadyToRetire]

FWIW, a high school friend of mine who has a wonderful relationship with her husband, retired at the same time at her husband. Her advice to me?: "Don't retire at the same time. It's a little bit TOO much togetherness."

But it sounds like you have good reasons for doing what you're doing, so ... ;-)

 

[SoReadyToRetire]

After reading this thread, I realized I'd not counted how many work days I have left. It's 31 ... YES!!!!!

 

[Grimelowe]

After reading this thread, I realized I'd not counted how many work days I have left. It's 31 ... YES!!!!!

Thisis awesome! Congrats!

 

[Hosmer]

The fact the two of you are going at the same time is very exciting! Do a ritual on Fridays, maybe going out for a seasonal cocktail.

3 months is short! It will fly by.

Thanks. Yes Sunday nights will be our night for this, to celebrate no longer having the Sunday night pre work week blues.

 

[Hosmer]

After reading this thread, I realized I'd not counted how many work days I have left. It's 31 ... YES!!!!!

Congrats!

 

[flybynight]

One of the wonderful things about being FI is having the freedom to speak up and say those things that everyone is thinking but that a client or higher-ups in the chain of command don't want to hear but need to be said. I found it could be very effective as long as I chose my words carefully and was diplomatic about it... and ironically, clients and higher-ups loved it! (albeit perhaps not so much in the heat of the moment). Go figure.

This is so true. I just pulled the plug in October but I've been FI for several years and spent some time in OMY. In the last 8 years of my career I was in a C-level position. FI gave me the freedom to really speak my mind and break the "group think" mentality that permeates many leadership teams. This was very liberating. Having no fear to speak what I really thought of a particular strategy, even if it went against the grain, actually helped my career and allowed me to stand out as an honest broker. I firmly believe that being FI earlier in my career gave me the confidence to lead more effectively and ultimately afforded me the visibility and recognition to get the opportunity to join the C-Suite.

 

[MultiEventer]

Hello
Long time reader, first time poster. This forum has been a great learning tool and I want to thank all of you. I am posting because DW has finally made her decision to retire with me. We have been discussing this for the last year since we became financially independent and we wanted to retire at the same time.
Of course, I was ready months ago but DW is the pragmatic one and needed to ruminate and our history tells me that she is usually correct about such things. She is also 7 years my junior and recently hit the big 5-0 so she just wasn’t ready mentally yet to make the change.
She has a bonus coming in March at her employer and the plan is for us to give our employers notice after that. We each plan on giving 30-day notice since we have good relationships with our teams and bosses and want to assist with transitions if needed. We have already scheduled and paid for a month-long trip to Europe in May so there is no turning back now.
My issue is now that I only have 3 months to go before giving notice, I am becoming increasingly frustrated at work and am doing all I can to stay calm and get thru each day. My boss is somewhat aware of my plan (just not the actual date) and is supportive. So while there isn’t any pressure from above on me, just dealing with many of the daily BS issues is wearing on me because I can see the end.
Suggestions on how to get thru the next 3-4 months without biting someone’s head off?
I have created a spreadsheet of “Sundays to go” countdown until I give notice and that helps some but not enough.
Thanks in advance!

Interesting. I went through the same thing. I hit financial independence at age 52 but did not retire until age 54 just to get a little more security in the investments. During those 2 years, I went through several different issues that normally I would just ignore and hold back. The 1st was I knew I was a short timer so I could be more aggressive in expressing my opinions about the way things were done in our IT department. Whether they liked it or not, this normally quiet, shy guy decided to let them know where their problems were and if I had an opinion on how to fix them, I never held back. That was actually a very good thing as I had 30 years in the business and it was appreciated as I did it respectfully. The next thing was how political the office was. It was during the 2016 election and very divisive. The office culture was one that allowed people to express their political views. Me, being a libertarian on the conservative end (but with a few liberal and moderate positions as well) but also quiet and shy, I kept to myself as the mostly liberal people in the office would rant and rave about things during the 10 years I was there. I just kept quiet and ignored them. During the 2016 election, it got worse with f words being thrown out about Trump etc. I was not a Trump guy (Rand Paul was mine) but I did not appreciate the obnoxious way they expressed themselves, calling everyone who did not support Hillary a racist. I decided I had nothing to lose so I calmly and respectfully called them out on it and asked them to reframe. I had the 'racist' talk over and over with these people on how insulting it was to use the race card in an attempt to silence their opposition. I had nothing to lose and since I have a Hispanic wife, 2 children by her as well as an adopted biracial daughter of African descent, I could get liberals attention on the issue. I was quitting in June and had my plan. Most people seemed to appreciate my candor. Especially the Trump supporters that were basically being bullied into silence since the liberals outnumbered them 2 to 1 at that company. The last and final issue, probably more like what you were going through, was dealing with people who were hard to get along. One in particular, a fellow software engineer. She was a good person and a friend, but she was really hard to get along with as she had some mental issues and was socially awkward. As I neared my RE date, I found it harder to keep my mouth shut and found myself walking out during meetings when she got obnoxious about something that was usually very trivial. In the end, we parted friends but it was a struggle for me. I just let our CIO deal with her and that worked pretty well.

 

[Lienlord]

I work in Administration for a school district, and we 2 weeks off for Christmas break (Friday is our last day)!
I've had a 2/20/2020 retirement date planned for 2 years, so this break will come at just the right time to catch my breath for the final push! I haven't decided how much notice to give (leaning toward 2 weeks). So that will give me approx 1 more month upon my return to keep my (secret) identity of a FI retired person!

 

[flyingaway]

Other the other side, after become FI, I care less about the work things and don't bother to speak anymore.

 

[Dalmore]

Other the other side, after become FI, I care less about the work things and don't bother to speak anymore.

I'm in that mode now too. Since deciding on a date, I have started letting go of the drama at work. I don't care. New projects that will disrupt my life...I don't care, I won't be there long enough for them to happen. It is freeing. Even if I can't share that with people at work, yet....

 

[tsturbo]

Give no more than two weeks notice, do not tell team or coworkers before then.

 

[Hosmer]

Update: I wanted to thank all of you for your helpful comments on my post. They were a big help and I am happy to say that we made it! Almost. We received our bonuses as planned and planned to submit our resignations the following Friday, 3/20. However, the stay at home began 4 days prior to that and we are both working from home. Had to cancel our trip to Spain, obviously but we will be FIREing as soon as things open up again and we are back at our places of employment. Our roles at our companies are even more critical and we want to see it thru until we get back. Thanks again!