Quit the world at 34 and now "broken" and refuse to go back

[brydanger]

At some point, you and your wife will need to figure out how to make it all work financially. Not having enough money to live on is stressful, alot more stressful than having a job that pays well!

Hmmm... maybe my message came across incorrectly (I've never been very good at re-reading and/or editing before hitting send).

Certainly didn't mean for my post to read to you as "stressed" in any way.
We know/trust we'll figure the finances out. We've reinvented ourselves enough times now to not stress about it (and somehow, oddly keep finding ourselves taken aback about how we seem to have all the things we wanted in life but, never would have dreamed were possible (even when we had the secure jobs to pay for them but no time to enjoy them)... and that in a fit of pure irony, it was all only was possible AFTER quitting the jobs that stressed us out every hour of the day.

You and I may have to agree to disagree. I can NOT imagine anything more stressful than the job that paid me well, kept me buying things I didn't really need to keep making the hamster wheel go round and round - mostly for someone else's benefit.

I'll be the first to admit - there have been moments since leaving I'd call stressful (breaking down in the deserts of baja days away from anyone or anything, being thousands of miles from shore in a massive lightning storm, getting pushed ashore by 70kt+ winds and waves when nobody even knows you're there, watching as your boat sails away without you 10k ft of water and realizing you don't have a pfd on, etc) - but those are supposed to be stressful/scary - that's what our fight-or-fight response is built to deal with (actual life and death scenarios)!

I wouldn't list any of the (multiple) times we had to re-consider our finances (and change future plans/paths as a result) as stressful... and if Im honest (at least so far) every time it does happen, we seem to pick a path, move forward and end up with more money and security than the time before.

To me, other than maybe the first year of shaking off the old mindset - it's not the question of "what if we run out of money?" that's stressful; its the other side of that coin -
"what if one of us doesn't live long enough to enjoy it together?"

 

[Koolau]

@brydanger, 22 years ago, after a divorce, feeling adrift, and thinking "money is no longer that important to me in the grand scheme of things," I quit my job at a law firm, sold everything, and set off on an open-ended adventure, hoping it might help me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I might travel the world, but I didn't get farther than Central America and a bit of the Caribbean. I had enough in savings that I could go for a year without a job if I had to when I came back to civilization, which was the plan to do at some then-indefinite point.

But, unlike you, after a year of wandering, and not having had the great epiphany about what I wanted to do with my life, I chickened out. I came back to the US and my old profession, albeit in a reduced-responsibility role--I never again chased the almighty dollar, and I took loads of time off to travel. I just couldn't see myself doing either the full-time nomadic life OR the full-time suit-and-tie life and, unlike you, I did not have or develop skills to do anything else to earn money--not really. As you can imagine, I met plenty of people who had done it, but I never met anyone whose lifestyle really appealed to me. There were those who had taken odd jobs such as bartending, and some who had even bought the bar, a few with boats who had run out of money, those who adopted a sort of hippie lifestyle making handicrafts, and then there were the scuba instructors and English teachers .... But I never ran across anyone who seemed to have made it work quite like you have. Granted, if I did the same thing today I imagine I would run across digital nomads and travel bloggers/influencers--things that didn't really exist back when the Internet was young. I recall having to go find an "Internet cafe" to check email every week or two and let the people back home know I was still alive.

It seems to me that you have a wonderful combination of attitude and abilities. It seems that you: (1) are not afraid of taking big risks, (2) had a safety net back home in the form of real estate, and (3) had or were able to develop useful, in-demand skills--beyond the sort of commonplace skills I mentioned (bartending, etc). My impression is that this third facet--the development of useful skills, including a knack for starting businesses--is really what separates you from most who attempt this sort of thing. Can you tell I am envious? I have never been a risk taker, I didn't have much of a safety net back home, and I have no entrepreneurial instincts whatsoever. Some people have a "can-do" attitude; I have a "can't-do"--I'll find every reason in the world why attempting something would be futile. And the last thing I would ever do is buy a Bust Out Another Thousand, though I do recall fondly hitching rides as crew on others' boats.

Still, taking even just a year off and traveling, even though it sort of wrecked my career trajectory, was the best thing I ever did. I am so impressed to see that someone was able to make a real go of the nomadic life and not just eke out a life on the fringes of society.

Good perspective. I'm closer to you than OP in my can/can't do attitude. I used to think of it as a character flaw - doubting my own abilities - and maybe it is. BUT I've done okay by playing it safe and being willing to just gut it out.

Having said that, I too envy OP's can-do attitude. But I'm over self recriminations for my particular lack of can-do. I accept myself (for the most part) though I still try to grow.

Very interesting thread!

 

[MarieIG]

...

also... SO sorry for not responding sooner - will never understand why this site doesnt ping me that someone has written.

Have you gone into your account - and reviewed your preferences - in particular with regard to notifications and such?

 

[RetiredHappy]

I make a lot of money and have a high NW. I am totally stressed with the “money” lifestyle and job. Many people would say I and others in boat are just as stressed as this guy.

But we are now retired, have been for 9 years now and still living the "money" lifestyle.

 

[brydanger]

Have you gone into your account - and reviewed your preferences - in particular with regard to notifications and such?

Nope... but sounds like I will be. Thanks for the tip!

 

[Live Free]

Great post! It's good to be reminded that life can be short and to pursue your lifestyle dreams, whatever they may be.

Some things I think you should consider doing/have a plan for:
(1) wearing sunscreen diligently. I had a longtime friend who lived on a boat in the Caribbean for seven years starting in his late 30s and then he developed melanoma in his mid-50s. That unfortunately led to his death at far too early an age and he did attribute it to his sun exposure in those years he was boating. Of course, who knows if that was the actual cause...but...wear the sunscreen.
(2) addressing health issues that may arise. Young and healthy people can have emergency health issues arise and hopefully you have the resources for any needed treatment. Stuff happens.
(3) Old age needs. There is a balance between living for today and planning for tomorrow. Trust me, you will be surprised at how fast tomorrow gets here. Hopefully you can squirrel away some money for those tomorrows. You don't want to live like my BIL/SIL in an understaffed, kind of sad, state-run nursing home. They have been there for 8 years already and I 100% for sure will work an extra few years to avoid that fate.

I'm not trying to put a damper on your living your dreams. I think it sounds wonderful! My MIL was living a GREAT retirement in Florida on less than $20K just 10 years ago before her death. She had lots of friends and did lots of activities. She also had a sizeable emergency fund -- just in case.

 

[mydogwantsmetoretire]

Hmmm... maybe my message came across incorrectly (I've never been very good at re-reading and/or editing before hitting send).

Certainly didn't mean for my post to read to you as "stressed" in any way.
We know/trust we'll figure the finances out. We've reinvented ourselves enough times now to not stress about it (and somehow, oddly keep finding ourselves taken aback about how we seem to have all the things we wanted in life but, never would have dreamed were possible (even when we had the secure jobs to pay for them but no time to enjoy them)... and that in a fit of pure irony, it was all only was possible AFTER quitting the jobs that stressed us out every hour of the day.

You and I may have to agree to disagree. I can NOT imagine anything more stressful than the job that paid me well, kept me buying things I didn't really need to keep making the hamster wheel go round and round - mostly for someone else's benefit.

I'll be the first to admit - there have been moments since leaving I'd call stressful (breaking down in the deserts of baja days away from anyone or anything, being thousands of miles from shore in a massive lightning storm, getting pushed ashore by 70kt+ winds and waves when nobody even knows you're there, watching as your boat sails away without you 10k ft of water and realizing you don't have a pfd on, etc) - but those are supposed to be stressful/scary - that's what our fight-or-fight response is built to deal with (actual life and death scenarios)!

I wouldn't list any of the (multiple) times we had to re-consider our finances (and change future plans/paths as a result) as stressful... and if Im honest (at least so far) every time it does happen, we seem to pick a path, move forward and end up with more money and security than the time before.

To me, other than maybe the first year of shaking off the old mindset - it's not the question of "what if we run out of money?" that's stressful; its the other side of that coin -
"what if one of us doesn't live long enough to enjoy it together?"

So many nuggets in here and like the paradox of the thing, being money, that is supposed to make us "safe" and "less stressed" actually being stressful as well. I know plenty of people with your mindset and used to pity them as being ignorant or missing out. I have come to find out I was the one being ignorant.

As I cross over 50 years on this planet, I am actually busy trying to lighten my load and realize that it was not about having "bundles of money" but having enough and being open to live regardless of my perceived "security."

 

[brydanger]

I'm not trying to put a damper on your living your dreams. I think it sounds wonderful! My MIL was living a GREAT retirement in Florida on less than $20K just 10 years ago before her death. She had lots of friends and did lots of activities. She also had a sizeable emergency fund -- just in case.

Ive honestly been struggling a bit with how (or if) to respond to this post.
I guess my only question is - why? Why you feel the need to respond at all?

Were you truly concerned - that after traveling full time for 12years (mostly on beaches and islands) that the advice we most needed was "wear sunscreen" and "go to the doctor"?
Or was that just the attempt to wrap the unsolicited advice in a positive package??

I assume the real reason for the responce was for this

There is a balance between living for today and planning for tomorrow. Trust me, you will be surprised at how fast tomorrow gets here. Hopefully you can squirrel away some money for those tomorrows.

But seriously... you are only repeating the exact same thing that I post here expressing zero interest in.
The same thing that literally ALL of society and all corporations and all history has shouted to us all is the ONLY option - so we didn't need one more person telling us to "be safe - life is short, work longer to make sure you've got enough money at the end of it."

I have been clear throughout our posts here that - for us (notice we are not pushing any belief system and/or judgement on you or your choices, but... for us) - working a 9-5 jobs until were 68 (or early 60s or even 50s) simply to "squirrel money" into an IRA in hopes of both of us actually making it to an age where we can spend it together in our few "golden years"... is simply NOT in any way shape or form something we call "balance between living for today and planning for tomorrow".

I/we totally support those who choose what they consider the "safe" route - I used to be there and remember well having all the same fears and feeling "stuck" because there was simply no other option on the menu of "accepted" life plans. We simply chose something else. We choose to not waste the best decades of our life out of fear of what might happen in the last couple years of it.

As you point out, we are ALL surprised how fast the years go by. We are ALL at risk of dying early from or losing our SO early o some medical condition with no answer as to why. We could ALL find ourselves living a less-than-dreamy last few years on the way out.

You choose to look at all of those realties and decide to focus on the last one - that for you the right answer is to work a few extra years to (hopefully) avoid that fate, and i support you in that.
We choose instead to focus on the first issue on your list - that there's a decent chance we might not even be here for those last few years, and therefore aren't willing to give up the best years - the ones that are guaranteed (that we're both here and healthy for) for the last few that aren't.

 

[Fermion]

I am right there with you on most points. I feel like time > money and life is best lived early. We still have our 34 foot Pacific Seacraft sailboat and could possibly still do a long ocean passage but I am getting more realistic about costs of that and comforts. I actually have more fun in our 17 foot Montgomery sailboat on little camping style trips. (There is also the freedom of being able to tack within 10 yards of shore and not even needing to use the winch handle)

 

[brydanger]

So many nuggets in here and like the paradox of the thing, being money, that is supposed to make us "safe" and "less stressed" actually being stressful as well. I know plenty of people with your mindset and used to pity them as being ignorant or missing out. I have come to find out I was the one being ignorant.

As I cross over 50 years on this planet, I am actually busy trying to lighten my load and realize that it was not about having "bundles of money" but having enough and being open to live regardless of my perceived "security."

I would suggest that neither of us are ignorant... we all simply doing the best we can with what we have and have all been forced to learn to play a game that has a heavily skewed set of rules/guidelines (that aren't really made clear until pretty late in the game).

Even now, from the "other side" having already escaped the box and/or climbed over the wall (way too early by anyone's sane judgement)... there are VERY few people to look at as examples of the "best case scenario" of the living/saving balance game. That's actually quite a statement since we're literally floating with couples who live aboard - entirely comprised of people who are doing the very thing they lived for, dreamt of and worked toward/saved to make happen, regardless of what decade/phase of life they're doing it or for how long - generally a pretty happy group I must say.

But the simple fact is... that most all of these people are also still figuring it out as they go, it's still a short term plan and wanna take a guess at how many of these people are in their 60s (or later)?? Very few to almost NONE.
Why? Because it's a hard life (but a beautiful one). It's a life that looks great on the dreamboard as a "one day" but it's also not for the faint of heart or frail of body. It's taxing, it's hard and it sends a LOT of people (of all ages) back home to start making other plans... but how many people also spend decades planning and dreaming of doing it after they retire without trying it first and realizing it is (only after retirement, selling the house/belongings etc) simply no longer an option at that age.

This is a large part of why I write/share here and other places.
There are easily millions of examples of those playing it the "safe" route. Id propose that, even here, in a forum full of people looking specifically to break the rules and retire "early", that the paths painted here are almost all still well within the "safe" range - and still, some end well, some don't.

What doesn't exist... is many (or any) examples from the "other side".
Sure... I cant tell you how this particular story ends (truly, i hope to not be able to tell you that for a loooong time), but I can tell you that we currently have ZERO REGRETS (honestly... not a single one) and we're not looking to change back to the other side.

In terms of your own perceived "security" - just keep following your heart...
and when in doubt, listen to your dog.

 

[Lorenzo]

@brydanger , it seems to me there is a huge spectrum of what people consider "safe" enough finances, and this forum is a great place to discuss where each of us puts ourselves on the spectrum. Your example is pretty far down one end of the spectrum, and from having traveled and met folks who did something similar, I know you're not alone. I'm definitely more centered on the risk spectrum and can only wish I had the risk tolerance of such adventurers. I saw my parents die in poverty, and as much as I would like to roam the world on a shoestring for the rest of my life and die with zero, I just can't stomach the thought of undershooting the mark and the possible consequences. At the other end of the spectrum I see people posting here who won't retire unless FIRECalc says there is zero chance of ever running out of money. Some may never accumulate enough to feel "safe." To me, all of it is fascinating to read and consider. As for others' comments on the safety of my own situation, I try to interpret that sort of thing as them simply sharing their own data point and perspective.

 

[dixonge]

Ive honestly been struggling a bit with how (or if) to respond to this post.
I guess my only question is - why? Why you feel the need to respond at all?

Were you truly concerned - that after traveling full time for 12years (mostly on beaches and islands) that the advice we most needed was "wear sunscreen" and "go to the doctor"?
Or was that just the attempt to wrap the unsolicited advice in a positive package??

This seems like an overreaction to me. I saw nothing but compassion and a bit of concern in their post. You are reacting as if they insulted you. Maybe step back and re-read their post without the 'edge' you imagine it to have.

But seriously... you are only repeating the exact same thing that I post here expressing zero interest in. The same thing that literally ALL of society and all corporations and all history has shouted to us all is the ONLY option - so we didn't need one more person telling us to "be safe - life is short, work longer to make sure you've got enough money at the end of it."

Need I point out that this entire forum is for people who did just exactly what you did? We *RETIRED EARLY* - we're not 'ALL of society and all corporations and all history' *shouting* at you. We ALSO rejected the standard advice. IOW, we're on your side dude! When someone is coming from our perspective and says "be safe...make sure you've got enough money at the end" that does not mean that you need to work until you're 70. It just means that you need to plan for later so you don't end up forcing your family to make hard choices and sacrifice their time and money to take care of you because you chose to *not* make any sacrifices at all.

We simply chose something else. We choose to not waste the best decades of our life out of fear of what might happen in the last couple years of it.

As have we all

We could ALL find ourselves living a less-than-dreamy last few years on the way out.

Yes, and that's a great reason to retire early. But that doesn't mean you get to ignore end of life financial requirements. You can do both!

Like @Livefree we have relatives (my parents) who are stuck in a somewhat decent but increasingly expensive Assisted Living scenario. Every year the bill goes up and we calculate if they have to move to some other worse facility. They had low-paying careers with minimal pensions and only one Social Security check. And my Dad didn't retire until he was 80!
You

 

[Koolau]

This seems like an overreaction to me. I saw nothing but compassion and a bit of concern in their post. You are reacting as if they insulted you. Maybe step back and re-read their post without the 'edge' you imagine it to have.



Need I point out that this entire forum is for people who did just exactly what you did? We *RETIRED EARLY* - we're not 'ALL of society and all corporations and all history' *shouting* at you. We ALSO rejected the standard advice. IOW, we're on your side dude! When someone is coming from our perspective and says "be safe...make sure you've got enough money at the end" that does not mean that you need to work until you're 70. It just means that you need to plan for later so you don't end up forcing your family to make hard choices and sacrifice their time and money to take care of you because you chose to *not* make any sacrifices at all.


As have we all

Yes, and that's a great reason to retire early. But that doesn't mean you get to ignore end of life financial requirements. You can do both!

Like @Livefree we have relatives (my parents) who are stuck in a somewhat decent but increasingly expensive Assisted Living scenario. Every year the bill goes up and we calculate if they have to move to some other worse facility. They had low-paying careers with minimal pensions and only one Social Security check. And my Dad didn't retire until he was 80!
You

+1

Take advice that w*rks for you. Reject advice that doesn't. Be thankful (or at least neutral) when people take the time to share ideas.

I try to assume the best of people until I no longer can. I suspect that most of our "misunderstandings" here are based on writing styles and interpretations. If we sat across from each other over a meal or frosty beverage, we'd likely have fewer conflicts.


Carry on.

 

[brydanger]

@brydanger I just can't stomach the thought of undershooting the mark and the possible consequences. At the other end of the spectrum I see people posting here who won't retire unless FIRECalc says there is zero chance of ever running out of money. Some may never accumulate enough to feel "safe." To me, all of it is fascinating to read and consider. As for others' comments on the safety of my own situation, I try to interpret that sort of thing as them simply sharing their own data point and perspective.

And I respect and understand that choice (though I would hardly call most of what we've been doing for 12 years "living on a shoestring budget"... just perhaps further to one side of the risk spectrum than most).

 

[Chuckanut]

I have no problem with anybody spending their earnings today and not saving much for their older years when working may no longer be a good option. But, I do have a problem with people who spend all or nearly all for today, then as they hit old age, ask their elected representatives to use the coercive power of the government to take more from me and give it to them.

 

[donethat]

First of all, I want to congratulate you, brydanger, for living your best life and one that many of us can only dream of. I just came across your thread today and read only the first and last pages. As someone who could chronologically be your grandfather and is writing from Panama where I spend 4 months a year living on the sand, believe me when I say I'm happy for you, understand your motivation, and wish you the best. But I also want to say that if one thing from my long ago youth rings true it's "different strokes for different folks" and we all could use a little more understanding and a little less judgement. I've got enough skin grafts to understand that using sun screen is a good idea, although I still don't. And there are 2 very different situations in life----either you have kids or you don't. Finally, thank God I was self-employed and enjoyed my working years.

 

[brydanger]

This seems like an overreaction to me. I saw nothing but compassion and a bit of concern in their post. You are reacting as if they insulted you. Maybe step back and re-read their post without the 'edge' you imagine it to have.

I appreciate the heads up.
I did go back and re-read the post (as well as my own response), and certainly apologies to @Livefree if I somehow came across rude or coarse - was NOT the intent.

Fair to say that (especially early on in this thread) I have spent a lot of time here getting pushback, answering questions and almost having to full on defend our choices from those who seemed almost offended by them.
Good chance I still misread some statements here assuming a bit of that rather than a well intended suggestion.

That said... I also don't read my post/reply as rude or offputting (and hope it wasn't) - just once again trying to explain our choices to someone who I thought/understood was pointing out the problems in those choices ("you'll die from skin cancer", "you need a medical plan", "you'll run out of money and end up in a low class nursing home", "you'll be a burden on others", etc)... again, if I misread - profuse apologies to @Livefree and/or anyone else who may have been offended. Never my intent.

Need I point out that this entire forum is for people who did just exactly what you did? We *RETIRED EARLY* - we're not 'ALL of society and all corporations and all history' *shouting* at you. We ALSO rejected the standard advice. IOW, we're on your side dude!

I appreciate the sentiment... that is truly the type of like-minded community I initially came here seeking, and I have found some very friendly voices along the way - but overall the experience has felt NOT like that at all Im afraid. =/

Regardless... my comment above didn't say or infer that this community was shouting - but the reality that our society at large is setup to shove all people quickly down the "normal" path. I imagine you'd agree, and that you found even on your own path (of RE and moving outside the US) that the masses struggled to understand or get onboard.

It just means that you need to plan for later so you don't end up forcing your family to make hard choices and sacrifice their time and money to take care of you because you chose to *not* make any sacrifices at all.

As has been stated and discussed here at length... one of our many life choices/plans was to NOT to have children along our journey. That, in fact is one of the many, many sacrifices we *did* make along the way.

If we were having them it would likely change the decisions/trajectory significantly... but our entire intent is to rely upon exactly nobody, so no reason to stress there.

 

[brydanger]

I have no problem with anybody spending their earnings today and not saving much for their older years when working may no longer be a good option. But, I do have a problem with people who spend all or nearly all for today, then as they hit old age, ask their elected representatives to use the coercive power of the government to take more from me and give it to them.

We certainly agree on this point. 100%!

 

[brydanger]

First of all, I want to congratulate you, brydanger, for living your best life and one that many of us can only dream of. I just came across your thread today and read only the first and last pages. As someone who could chronologically be your grandfather and is writing from Panama where I spend 4 months a year living on the sand, believe me when I say I'm happy for you, understand your motivation, and wish you the best. But I also want to say that if one thing from my long ago youth rings true it's "different strokes for different folks" and we all could use a little more understanding and a little less judgement. I've got enough skin grafts to understand that using sun screen is a good idea, although I still don't. And there are 2 very different situations in life----either you have kids or you don't. Finally, thank God I was self-employed and enjoyed my working years.

Congrats to you as well (we love Panama, and its sandy beaches)!

As I did above, I apologize for anything that read as judgement or lack of understanding on my part.
I was in fact responded to what I read (or misread) as judgement of us and our choices. It has been pointed out that I may have misread and/or fallen into old habits of assuming the worst here...
I actually made the mistake of re-reading many of the thread pages here not long ago, so the "confrontational" early pages are still probably a bit too fresh in my memory, and Ive long tried to remain positive and understanding here (and hopefully have at least generally done a good job of it).

 

[Time2]

I think that's the whole point, none of us really know what we are doing.
We're all trudging away at a "number" or a day that might never come. We're all running calcs and slaving away for enough money to enjoy our "time" when time is the one thing we have no control over.

We simply chose to live our best life today in our prime rather than waiting to see if we both survive long enough to enjoy it together later.


Thanks!

But that's also the point... we don't have to hope for luck. It's not that black and white.
You, we, all of us actually get to control and make choices that change the path/outcome... and we are both proud of and ecstatic about the lifestyle we have created (and are blissfully happy to be living it).

I'd say if you are going to do it, 34 yrs old is a good time. At 70, I'm very happy to have a home with all the comforts. Good for you.

 

[Fermion]

My wife was in a serious situation a few months ago to the point where she had a living will drawn up last minute. Everything turned out ok, but it has made me think that even retiring at 44,45 like we did a decade ago was not really early enough. Yes, if we had stayed working until now we could probably have a 8 figure retirement (based on stock options and current prices) but what good does all that money really do you when you are in the hospital waiting area and hear "mass transfusion, female, operating room 3" over the intercom (thankfully it turned out she was in operating room 5). At the time though, I thought it was over, and glad we had at least had the decade of retirement we did.

Time >>> Money. I keep stressing it on here.

 

[MichaelB]

My wife was in a serious situation a few months ago to the point where she had a living will drawn up last minute. Everything turned out ok, but it has made me think that even retiring at 44,45 like we did a decade ago was not really early enough. Yes, if we had stayed working until now we could probably have a 8 figure retirement (based on stock options and current prices) but what good does all that money really do you when you are in the hospital waiting area and hear "mass transfusion, female, operating room 3" over the intercom (thankfully it turned out she was in operating room 5). At the time though, I thought it was over, and glad we had at least had the decade of retirement we did.

Time >>> Money. I keep stressing it on here.

That’s a very good post about a very difficult time.

 

[Exchme]

In terms of your own perceived "security" - just keep following your heart...
and when in doubt, listen to your dog.

You're a very talented writer and have an inspiring story - taking a big risk, making it work through ups and downs and most importantly finding the right soulmate to take the journey with you. Please do check back in every now and then and update us!

 

[brydanger]

My wife was in a serious situation a few months ago to the point where she had a living will drawn up last minute. Everything turned out ok, but it has made me think that even retiring at 44,45 like we did a decade ago was not really early enough. Yes, if we had stayed working until now we could probably have a 8 figure retirement (based on stock options and current prices) but what good does all that money really do you when you are in the hospital waiting area and hear "mass transfusion, female, operating room 3" over the intercom (thankfully it turned out she was in operating room 5). At the time though, I thought it was over, and glad we had at least had the decade of retirement we did.

Time >>> Money. I keep stressing it on here.

Yes, Yes, YESSSS!!!!

Glad to hear all turned out okay!
We had a health scare a few years ago (in our mid 40s) as well and I thought about all the EXACT same things - that I was SO very glad that we had a decade of real life/living behind us. Luckily, things turned out okay on our end as well... but the lesson remains the same.

 

[brydanger]

taking a big risk, making it work through ups and downs and most importantly finding the right soulmate to take the journey with you.

I could NOT agree more!!
All of this madness was actually her idea and she's always been the driving force behind it (pays to fall in love with the hippy mermaid next door apparently)!