Retiring where to? Abroad, dream place, or close to family

[kraxnsepp]

Who makes their decisions to retire et cetera based on living next to or with family? We may be swapping one HCOL for another, to be close to family (our generation and next). It doesn't hurt to be close to each other especially when someone in the group requires care in the future. How does everyone in here approach where to live in retirement?

 

[Sojourner]

Not me. DW and I recently started searching in earnest for our next home, and "proximity to family" wasn't even in our top 10 list of important factors. This is not due to any animosity or estrangements, etc. We both love our families and happily spend time with them on various occasions throughout the year, but living very close to them is just not a priority.

FWIW, neither DW nor I have kids (or grandkids, obviously), but we do have siblings and other close family members.

 

[pacergal]

We are staying put. All our immediate family, (kids/grandkids, siblings/nieces/nephews) live within 45 minutes of each other. And none of the younger ones seem to have jobs where they would require transfer/move elsewhere, as most of them are in healthcare, teaching, or self employed.
Family connection is important to DH and I, and being close to visit Grandkids is priority.

If my either one of my kids moved, depending on circumstances, we might consider going nearby.

Once every few years, my sibs and I travel to mid west to visit our cousins and have a reunion. None of the older generation is left.

 

[oiseux]

Our current plan is to keep a place near one side of the family and then split time overseas, in France. We have pondered moving due to taxes, and even one side of the family is in a lower cost state.

 

[fosterscik]

In our case we moved (built a house) shortly after retiring. Our two kids live and work in states that are nowhere near each other. We certainly didn't want to favor one or the other so we moved where we wanted to live. It's a 6- 7 hour drive to one, 12 hours to the other.

 

[Sunset]

We've thought about moving but guess just too lazy to move and no giant motivator, so hard to pick a place as could literally be worse than staying.

We are close to some relatives and help them out and see them nearly every week, but far from others.

So, we just travel sometimes and can see the distant relatives easily when traveling.

 

[Ronstar]

We were going to move MIL in with us and move to Az 6 years ago. MIL changed her mind and said she wasn't leaving her apartment. DW refused to move without her mom. MIL will be 96 next month and still refuses to move. So I'm still wasting away my life in Illinois.

 

[Koolau]

We waited for MIL and last pet to pass before moving away. To some extent, the MIL issue was marginal.

 

[shortstop14]

We've evolved into keeping our house in Washington, even though we have no family anywhere on this side of the country - we've been here since 1978, and prefer this part of the world. Our house here will work until we have driving and/or mobility issues. But, we're spending half of each year with our daughter and toddler grandson (and one on the way) at their place in a small village in Provence, France.

This wasn't the original plan, but the unexpected grandchildren from our only child changed the decision metric. We'll probably continue until the kids are in school, then re-assess. But the one year tourist visa is a possibility, so we could extend our stays in France. Forcing my brain to learn a new language is probably good for me.

 

[marko]

We lived in France for several years and Japan for a few. "Proximity to family" was always only "a $X and X hour plane ride away". We thought nothing of shipping friends and family (or ourselves) back and forth.

We're back in my hometown and winter in Florida but family, COL, or anything else takes a back seat to being close to a major hospital.

My current prostate cancer treatments aside, I wouldn't be writing this today if, ten years ago, I was more than twenty minutes away from our world class medical facility. I just made it. Literally.

My cancer treatments are now an 11 minute drive each morning...yes I might prefer to live much further away but I'm thankful to be this close.

When I think of some of our vacations to semi- deserted islands or my younger days spending weeks in third world countries (sorry, only one plane out per week), I thank my stars that I didn't need medical care. One of my early bosses wasn't so lucky.

Of course, we're thankful that we were able to live, vacation and enjoy many exotic and fabulous places, as they are now great memories rather than unfulfilled dreams.

 

[Cobra9777]

We've chosen to stay put, for a variety of reasons...

We love our property. We have 2.2 acres on a small lake in North Texas. It's a beautiful wooded area near an interesting town, with all the amenities we require, plus lots of fun things to do. The house is too big and a money pit. But we're very comfortable here and we have some long-term friends in the area.

MIL (91 years old) moved in with us 4 years ago. She lives in a detached living space on our property that she paid to renovate. So moving is pretty-much out of the question until she passes on. BIL has to fly in whenever we travel. So it's getting complicated.

Both our kids and grandkids live within a 25-minute drive. We really enjoy being a part of their lives on a daily basis. The kids also rely on us (mainly DW) for babysitting and transportation when things inevitably get complicated, which happens 2-3 times per week.

We often talk about moving, or at least escaping the Texas summer heat for a few months every year. But right now family is our priority.

 

[Doribe]

Staying in original HCOL area and snowboarding near 2/7 grandkids in another HCOL area.

 

[38Chevy454]

Well in my case we moved to be near wife's family, upon retirement: Albuquerque NM area to Cincinnati OH area. I would have preferred to stay in the southwest, but as we looked at the situation she wanted to be closer to family. As long as I can escape the colder winter, OH works for us. It's relatively LCOL, and we have a great house we built, with a big detached garage for me.

If no family considered, we liked Prescott AZ as a retirement location. One of my friends moved there (after I told him about it) and is happy.

 

[iloveyoga]

Central Iowa here, with a big snowstorm today. The main reason we have stayed here is family. I wouldn't leave my Mom now and my son and his family live very close by. My youngest granddaughter is a senior now and I have loved living close to them and being involved in their growing up lives. It is certainly not for the weather, although we have plenty of nice days, just too much cold and snow for me.

 

[Diogenes]

Not having any family, and not having any local or cultural ties or affinities, the question is... perplexing. I'd love to choose a place with low taxes, mild weather, decent amenities and socio-cultural attributes (not necessarily politics) that agree with me. The intersection of the three is zero! That means having to compromise on something... but on what?

 

[rembrandt]

Not having any family, and not having any local or cultural ties or affinities, the question is... perplexing. I'd love to choose a place with low taxes, mild weather, decent amenities and socio-cultural attributes (not necessarily politics) that agree with me. The intersection of the three is zero! That means having to compromise on something... but on what?

I am in the same boat. It looks like the socio-cultural attributes will have to go.

 

[CO-guy]

Not me. DW and I recently started searching in earnest for our next home, and "proximity to family" wasn't even in our top 10 list of important factors. This is not due to any animosity or estrangements, etc. We both love our families and happily spend time with them on various occasions throughout the year, but living very close to them is just not a priority.

FWIW, neither DW nor I have kids (or grandkids, obviously), but we do have siblings and other close family members.

Ditto! We're planning to partially relocate to Europe before 2030 by purchasing a home and spending more time there. We'll then sell our current home and fully relocate within 2-3 years. My better-half's ancestors are from the region where we plan to relocate, and the area aligns well with our lifestyle, interests and budget. We're spending another month there this summer to visit a few more towns, revisit places that charmed us on our last visit, consider transportation/healthcare options, and narrow down our short list for relocation.

Currently we live in a remote area, and our families rarely visit, so hopefully we'll have more time to spend with them once we relocate.

 

[Montecfo]

We retired in place in Northern Va. Our family are mostly in Texas.

We prefer Northern Va but visit Texas often.

Could change at some point.

 

[RunningBum]

My decision was based mostly on recreational opportunities like skiing, golfing, running, and hiking, and having a scenic view. Weather and other factors were why I didn't even consider moving back near family. 26 years since I bought the lot and 24 since the house was finished and I have few regrets, none of which are enough to make me consider moving.

 

[Scuba]

We thought we would stay forever in Southern CA. Not close to family, but we have many long-term friends there. We don’t have any children and all of my family members have passed away. DH’s family is in GA, SC, with some extended family in FL.

In 2023, we decided it might be a good idea to live closer to MIL so we can see her more often while she still knows us. She lives in Memory Care but frequent visits are helpful to ensure good care for her and we both enjoy seeing her. Also, our one niece and nephew are both settling down, getting married and having kids, so if we want to be a meaningful part of their lives we needed to be closer.

We came to Florida to explore before making the move and loved what we saw. The beaches are way nicer than So CA beaches, and the contrast in areas such as homelessness, crime, litter, culture, and cost of living is very significant. We spent the summer in FL looking around and settled near Sarasota. Couldn’t be happier with our decision. We are still a little far from the family, but only a 1.5 hour flight or a 9 hour drive, so we can and do visit often. In just 16 months here, we’ve attended so many family events we never would have even been invited to when we were living so far away in CA.

 

[skyking1]

We never seriously entertained living in another state. This new house location represents the best features for us and is an hour from all the family.
The old location was also an hour. We also never entertained moving to Seattle where they all are.
I could do something like Portugal but my wife is not at all interested.

 

[Koolau]

I am in the same boat. It looks like the socio-cultural attributes will have to go.

Certainly what happened to DW and me. We love most things about our adopted state but we have only one party gummint now. I'm not against the party in power - I just want a choice. What a concept!

 

[Diogenes]

Certainly what happened to DW and me. We love most things about our adopted state but we have only one party gummint now. I'm not against the party in power - I just want a choice. What a concept!

My quip about socio-cultural things, is for example being around people who could identify Diogenes without recourse to Wikipedia. Their politics - or really, the nature of the state/local government - would be a very distant consideration.

Or to give it a consumerist spin, more Trader Joe's, less Cracker Barrel.

 

[old medic]

We are staying put here near family. Had 5 generations here for years, still have 4 surviving within 20 miles, 7 own their homes, all but 2 are paid for.

 

[Bryan Barnfellow]

My wife and I always thought that we would retire to Italy, a favorite country. But 15 years ago I took a leap of faith and accepted a job with a small university in Italian-speaking southern Switzerland, which shares a border with northern Italy. Ten years ago we retired "in place" here in canton Ticino. We live only a few kilometers from the closest Italian border (Lombardy).

It's been nothing but good since in most respects, even with being humbled by the cost of living here and the always menacing USD/CHF exchange rate. My wife's health is another story, alas. Yet, we have never been happier.

-BB