Senior partner retirement dinner - would you go?

If OP were business partners, I think he'd be obvious by his absence. I'd think that most attendees would expect to see him if only for old-time's sake.

Go and leave early. Missing would be bad form imo. Noblesse oblige.
 
marko said:
If OP were business partners, I think he'd be obvious by his absence. I'd think that most attendees would expect to see him if only for old-time's sake.

Go and leave early. Missing would be bad form imo. Noblesse oblige.
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I appreciate the input from everyone. This is a tough one for me. I spent my entire career being the guy that did the right thing. Being the stand up, ethical person whereas the honoree IMO did the opposite. My Father always said "never burn a bridge" . OK that was good advice but I am done , I have severed all financial connections and moved two states away. Most attendees would not really care if I don't show as it has been three years since I left. On the other hand to counter @marko 's opinion, who I do respect, my absence might also send a message.

I have no need to maintain business relations or any thing else with these people. I have no family in that state and there is only one or two people that I might like to say hello to. The last time I went back I did not feel comfortable reliving all the stress. Sad, but it was not an easy career.

My wife and my dog are usually right. One said don't go and send a card and a $100 bottle of bourbon - no more. The other looked at me and wanted to go out.
 
If the OP felt cut and dried about their desire to not attend, they never would have posted here, but they posted for opinions instead.
As my wife tells me often, you are hesitating for a reason.
 
Yep, sounds like a nice card with "regrets" you can't make it would be in order (bourbon optional).
 
Koolau said:
I'm certain that he will do the right thing. I just don't know what that is. Different for you and for me and for OP,
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The OP is struggling. That tells me momma and the dog are calling the shots. The OP probably feels a bit conflicted otherwise they never would have posted.
 
I'm not worried about OP. He successfully retired from a successful, going concern and has managed retirement for some years. He navigated with a partner he wasn't fully in tune with. He'll get this one right too.
 
Koolau said:
I'm not worried about OP. He successfully retired from a successful, going concern and has managed retirement for some years. He navigated with a partner he wasn't fully in tune with. He'll get this one right too.
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One doesn’t ask for a public opinion on things they feel clear about.
 
From the way you phrased the post, my impression is that you have already made a decision, and you are seeking confirmation, whether you realize it or not.
 
I am with all the other people who say go for everybody else....

And have fun at the event... it might actually be fun!!
 
For me in a situation like this, the location matters. If I lived close by I would be more likely to attend, even if I didn't want to attend.

Living a significant distance away, the hassle factor of the travel would be part of my decision-making process. And others would be more understanding of my absence, if they cared at all.
 
I would just send a card...
But it made me think about my party... Had several people that travelled hours to attend that I hadn't seen in years. Thanks for the smile....
 
OP seems more conflicted over the ethics and character of the man rather than the distance or cost.

Had OP acted on those concerns years ago, he never would be in this position.

That is, if this guy was such a creep, why did he remain with the firm? The guy was unethical but the money was good?? If they were partners, I'd assume equals, why not take him to task when the first sign of impropriety (and possibly illegal) surfaced.
 
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So, I am conflicted on this and it is several weeks away so I have plenty of time to consider it.
I'm not sure going is necessarily the right thing to do, at least for me. I left that area on purpose for several reasons but one was to get away from the workplace vibe which was very stressful and this partner was a large part of that stress. Not to sound like a wimp, but we had to drive through the area last year and just being in the vicinity kind of brought up negative feelings and discomfort. I am very happy in my new state with new friends and have been for the almost three years of retirement. I literally never talk to anyone in the biz ever, except when they needed me to Docusign something related to the buyout. So, we are not friends.
The event is in the middle of the week and my one actual friend left in the area is busy working so there is no one else left to visit, most have moved out of state. Part of it is I'm annoyed. My going away dinner was quaint and brief, yet he gets a full blown event at a country club with written invitations, etc.. what the heck? The guy has an ego the size of Texas. Yeah, I'm still conflicted. And thank you all for the input.
 
marko said:
That is, if this guy was such a creep, why did he remain with the firm? The guy was unethical but the money was good??
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In brief yes, and it was a medical practice that I was a full partner of. Not easy to get up and move to a new area once you are an established surgeon.
 
Flyfish1 said:
In brief yes, and it was a medical practice that I was a full partner of. Not easy to get up and move to a new area once you are an established surgeon.
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Ethics violations--even questionable behavior--especially in the medical arena can be lethal to an organization.

And as a full partner, you had a responsibility (perhaps even legal one) to the organization to address this.

I'm going to change my earlier recommendation. Stay home and do no harm.
 
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