Share Your Work Friends (not!) Story

I am in frequent contact with five very good friends from my Air Force days, and occasional contact with a few more. Also regular contact with three good friends from my college days, and a couple from my working days after the military.
I could have added several more who have died, since I maintained good close contact with them up to that point.
 
I was never in a position to have anyone report to me at work. I had a number of co-workers that I got along with reasonably well but only in a work setting. I went out of my way so as not to "suck up" to anyone at work ever. I learned early on it is best not to trust too many people at work, and stuck to that throughout my working life. (best not to call it a career, that sounds too self important) I keep in touch with one person from my first real job, one from my second job, none from my third job and a handful from my last job. The rest don't miss me and the feeling is mutual. :biggrin:
 
Go to lunch twice a year with a couple of folks I met when I first started there. One is retired like me. All other coworkers dropped off immediately. I'm pretty ok with that, but it's a strange feeling for sure.
I guess I should have said that the previous post was referring to my post military career in the civilian world. I have many old military buds that I'm in contact with. Some more often than others.
 
Recently retired last year after nearly 3 decades with the company. We have been WFH since covid. I went into the office only 3 or 4 times since 2020, mainly to fix my computer which would no longer accept remote connections. Because everyone was working from home, the feeling of being part of team slowly eroded over those years, and when I retired, I went from working in my home office to not working in my home office, so it wasn't a huge difference. There was a nice lunch, where I met new-ish coworkers IRL for the first time. And that was it. Was a really underwhelming retirement experience.
 
I have 2 work friends that I occasionally message or have a phone call with, both out of state. I never hear from anyone in the local area, with the exception of the annual Christmas party. This year (#8 since RE), my mention of a new stereo developed into 3 work people coming over to my house this week to listen to it. It came up that one of them is a Pink Floyd fan, as I am. I contacted him the next day, and asked if he wanted to go to the tribute band concert in town in May, and we now have tickets.
 
I'm going to meet up at a birthday celebration of a former work-friend. We helped out with home projects and met for a random meal/happy hour once in a while but he's mostly a homebody so not running into each other at work and mostly talking about work. There will be at least one, now retired "work friend" there that I haven't seen since I left that I look forward to catching up with him. Don't know if they'll be any more -not a work function but he has little outside social interests than work so there could be more.

I keep in touch with one guy I new for most of my career (hosted me on my last road trip). We are very different people but had similar world/work views and had lots of inside jokes in the office. He played tourist a bit in his new hometown and I had more fun being with him than I ever would have expected. I stayed a shorter period than I would have but didn't want to press my luck with hospitality/getting tired of one another. It's been months since any contact but that's not surprising.

Work was mostly a paycheck for me and I kept pretty solid boundaries between work and my personal life and other than a few FB contacts, I am not in touch with any but those two.
 
I retired about 8 years ago and still have about 6 work friends that I still see. One of them just left from visiting us in Mexico for a week.
 
My BFF at my last job ghosted me about six months before I retired. On my retirement day, no one, zero, nada of my co-workers even acknowledged it.

Yeah, my BFF moved to the other side of the country, but we were so close. We'd text every day, she begged me to visit her at her new house. We business traveled together. We shared everything, then poof. It was gone.
How odd and unfortunate. Perhaps a bit off topic but I experienced something similar with a close friend. We talked almost weekly (sometimes daily) for decades so he'd know my plans for years, was supportive of me leaving the "dumpster fire" to build my own business, and I had recently been his shoulder to lean on through his years-long divorce.

I called him a few hours after I resigned and his response was a concerned sounding, "Why did you do that?!" Since then we've spoken barely a handful of times (mostly around birthdays and holidays). It might be easy to think he's got his hands full with kids, an ex, and dating (that's what he says). However, while the conversations have been generally pleasant, he's made several fairly sarcastic comments about my FIRE path that have left me feeling uncomfortable (e.g. Him: "So you walked away from an incredible career to spend more time visiting friends and family?" Me: "Well, yes." Him: "Whatever, it's your life to live.").
 
How odd and unfortunate. Perhaps a bit off topic but I experienced something similar with a close friend. We talked almost weekly (sometimes daily) for decades so he'd know my plans for years, was supportive of me leaving the "dumpster fire" to build my own business, and I had recently been his shoulder to lean on through his years-long divorce.

I called him a few hours after I resigned and his response was a concerned sounding, "Why did you do that?!" Since then we've spoken barely a handful of times (mostly around birthdays and holidays). It might be easy to think he's got his hands full with kids, an ex, and dating (that's what he says). However, while the conversations have been generally pleasant, he's made several fairly sarcastic comments about my FIRE path that have left me feeling uncomfortable (e.g. Him: "So you walked away from an incredible career to spend more time visiting friends and family?" Me: "Well, yes." Him: "Whatever, it's your life to live.").
Ah jealousy strikes again. Never underestimate that reason.
 
Ah jealousy strikes again. Never underestimate that reason.
His net worth is at least 10x mine and he could have retired a while ago, but claims he loves what he does.

I'm coming to the belief that he doesn't know how to get off the hamster wheel, and is jealous of my ability to "walk away." No matter the reason, I'm saddened to see our 45-year-long relationship on life support ever since resigning.
 
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I have consciously avoided close friendship relations with co-workers. There are couple of exceptions but I still have to wait until I RE as to how much I would stay in touch with those "friends". Having said that, people drift apart for no apparent reason, simply due to lack of regular contact. This happens to all kinds of friends: School, College, Neighborhood, Work, etc.
 
I keep in touch with the guy that took over for me and the fellow that I had done considerable business development with. Mostly it is them venting about the toxic environment knowing that I know the environment and the players. I’m a safe place to vent. It was that toxic of an environment. It is The chief reason I retired early and relied so heavily on this site.
 
I consider myself lucky in the fact that most of the folks I worked with became like family. I've been gone 3 years and was called and invited to the Christmas party. Get swept up in hugs whenever I run into some of them. One girl that left EMS over 15 years ago still drops by the house and visits.
 
How odd and unfortunate. Perhaps a bit off topic but I experienced something similar with a close friend. We talked almost weekly (sometimes daily) for decades so he'd know my plans for years, was supportive of me leaving the "dumpster fire" to build my own business, and I had recently been his shoulder to lean on through his years-long divorce.

I called him a few hours after I resigned and his response was a concerned sounding, "Why did you do that?!" Since then we've spoken barely a handful of times (mostly around birthdays and holidays). It might be easy to think he's got his hands full with kids, an ex, and dating (that's what he says). However, while the conversations have been generally pleasant, he's made several fairly sarcastic comments about my FIRE path that have left me feeling uncomfortable (e.g. Him: "So you walked away from an incredible career to spend more time visiting friends and family?" Me: "Well, yes." Him: "Whatever, it's your life to live.").
No room for negativity in life.... probably good that he's fading out. I've got a few acquaintances now I'm sun-setting due to their chronic negativity.
 
No room for negativity in life.... probably good that he's fading out. I've got a few acquaintances now I'm sun-setting due to their chronic negativity.
+1. DW is fond of saying "We're too old and too rich to put up with too much bull#%$*".
 
No room for negativity in life.... probably good that he's fading out. I've got a few acquaintances now I'm sun-setting due to their chronic negativity.
Yep....went from once a week calls to only our birthdays and the winter holidays. For over 40 years we used to talk about all sorts of things. The last few times we spoke, all he did was complain about his ex-wife. When we spoke last in December, I cut him off and said that I wanted to hear about his kids, not his ex. Hopefully I won't have to (forcefully) redirect the conversation next time, or I'll downgrade the relationship further to "occasionally we exchange messages."
 
Yep....went from once a week calls to only our birthdays and the winter holidays. For over 40 years we used to talk about all sorts of things. The last few times we spoke, all he did was complain about his ex-wife. When we spoke last in December, I cut him off and said that I wanted to hear about his kids, not his ex. Hopefully I won't have to (forcefully) redirect the conversation next time, or I'll downgrade the relationship further to "occasionally we exchange messages."
Conceptually something similar with my former best friend. We used to connect heavily on our children, sports and cars.
Then in the last few years in every conversation there would be insane conspiracy theories from a political perspective in every conversation.
We don't speak anymore and he lives far away from me.
 
Yep....went from once a week calls to only our birthdays and the winter holidays. For over 40 years we used to talk about all sorts of things. The last few times we spoke, all he did was complain about his ex-wife. When we spoke last in December, I cut him off and said that I wanted to hear about his kids, not his ex. Hopefully I won't have to (forcefully) redirect the conversation next time, or I'll downgrade the relationship further to "occasionally we exchange messages."
Going through a bitter divorce can have a very negative effect on one's attitude on life, Give him time and maybe when he gets his life back together, your relationship may change. My 2 year long, expensive and bitter divorce almost ruined me psychologically. It took years to get past it.
 
Conceptually something similar with my former best friend. We used to connect heavily on our children, sports and cars.
Then in the last few years in every conversation there would be insane conspiracy theories from a political perspective in every conversation.
We don't speak anymore and he lives far away from me.
Sorry to hear.
Going through a bitter divorce can have a very negative effect on one's attitude on life, Give him time and maybe when he gets his life back together, your relationship may change. My 2 year long, expensive and bitter divorce almost ruined me psychologically. It took years to get past it.
I was there for him from the moment he learned about his wife's affair (early during Covid). He solicited advice from me, took none of it, and so mostly I remained a listening ear. Now all he does is complain about his ex and tell me how amazing it is to be single in his 50s. The latter screams denial.
 
Sorry to hear.

I was there for him from the moment he learned about his wife's affair (early during Covid). He solicited advice from me, took none of it, and so mostly I remained a listening ear. Now all he does is complain about his ex and tell me how amazing it is to be single in his 50s. The latter screams denial.
Sounds like Peyton Place.
 
Sorry to hear.

I was there for him from the moment he learned about his wife's affair (early during Covid). He solicited advice from me, took none of it, and so mostly I remained a listening ear. Now all he does is complain about his ex and tell me how amazing it is to be single in his 50s. The latter screams denial.
That will end sooner or later. Divorces ruin families and the people in them.
 
I’ve stayed good friends with 3 women coworkers. I have coffee or lunch with each of them every month or so. We worked together for 25 yrs or more and we loved to visit with each other.
 
Since retiring, I have a couple great friends that I have been friends for 30+ years. A couple have passed away. Some of us that were friends from my last employer, get together once a month to catch up. I’m not an introvert, just don’t have a need for the ones that never put in any effort, work or otherwise. I do believe retiring, especially early, creates jealously in some people, likely because they are not able to retire.
 
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