Six years ago today, COVID changed my life....what other moments radically changed your life?

Around COVID, my auto immune disease flared up. That it coincided with the COVID time frame and had some similarities to COVID probably cost me some of my kidney function. By the time they figured out what was going on, my kidneys were so bad, they put me on dialysis. That obviously changed my life. Then, about six months later, the therapy was successful enough that my kidneys regained enough function to get off of dialysis. What a blessing and what a roller coaster. I thought I’d be on dialysis for the rest of my life and was sort of adjusted to it and then one day, I was told, “we can treat you without dialysis.” Wow, I’ll never forget that day. Currently doing okay but I still get infusions (basically chemotherapy) every 6 months and I’m hoping for the word remission to come out of my doctor’s mouth some day.
 
At 24 yrs old I married DW and had DD1. For the next twenty years whenever anyone asked how old I was 24 would pop into my head.

1988. DD2 born with a heart defect requiring open heart surgery at almost two years old.

2012 DW passed away after three terrible years.

Covid. I’m still measuring from The Before Times.

Last November. DGF of seven years passed after brave struggle with cancer. I hope I can leave this world with the grace she did.
 
Death of my mom when I was 14
Starting a business
Having DW survive two bouts with cancer
Sounds weird and some may not get it, but we had our dog killed in a criminal act. The city pursued action against them. We were considered witnesses. The couple that killed him were so rotten to the core. It was a really bad time.
If someone killed our dog (s) in a criminal act I would be angry beyond words. I get it.

Sorry about your mom. I had mine til she was 92.

Starting a business. So did I. I sold it 10 years ago and FIRED. I still have bad dreams at night. The pressure almost killed me. You may need to own a business to understand.

DW had an extreme fight with Melanoma. Lots of surgeries. She kept her leg. A dangerous little cancer that looks harmless.....NOT.

After hearing all these stories from our friends here let me know that we care.

But COcheesehead, I understand about your dog.
 
I've had several of those moments, but Covid was the most recent. Prior to Covid, I was struggling to expand my consulting business into a more lucrative niche because 95% of the projects in that niche were on-site. I live in the middle of nowhere which complicated travel, even when I pretended to live near Denver. After March 2020, all projects went online and 95% of them have remained that way, which has been a boon for my business.
 
If someone killed our dog (s) in a criminal act I would be angry beyond words. I get it.

Sorry about your mom. I had mine til she was 92.

Starting a business. So did I. I sold it 10 years ago and FIRED. I still have bad dreams at night. The pressure almost killed me. You may need to own a business to understand.

DW had an extreme fight with Melanoma. Lots of surgeries. She kept her leg. A dangerous little cancer that looks harmless.....NOT.

After hearing all these stories from our friends here let me know that we care.

But COcheesehead, I understand about your dog.
I appreciate that. The reason I couched it was when we were going through it we had a couple people say your dog died. Get over it.
 
My 4 year old said: I have a school show next Wed. But I know you wont be able to come cuz of work.

It took about a year, but I found a job with better w/l balance.
 
I appreciate that. The reason I couched it was when we were going through it we had a couple people say your dog died. Get over it.
DW and I both lost all our of our4 parents in about 5 years. We were ready and took it like we should.

After a while we both agreed that loosing our dog was just as hard. folks, don't throw rocks at us. we all take things different. And we loved our folks to pieces.
 
I appreciate that. The reason I couched it was when we were going through it we had a couple people say your dog died. Get over it.
That type of statement must’ve come from people that don’t love their pets deeply as a family member. In the past 22 years, I have lost nine dogs, and I grieved each one deeply. If someone killed my dog, I would do everything I could legally to get revenge. How anyone can kill a helpless animal is beyond me.
 
Lot's of memorable dates (both good and bad) but the one date that will always stick in my mind as the absolutely most impactful "to me personally" is July 1, 1970 (for 1971 draft). I keep the screen shot below as a memento.

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Oof-Jul 9th birthday-001..my Dad was 14 Dec birthday but he had already done 1 year in Vietnam flying 65-66. I forgot when the draft ended...mid 70s? This societal expectation truly separates the generational experience. I went into the military in 85 (female-officer as an engineer)-was all volunteer then.....I remember my superiors talking about going to college to defer...one of them had graduated from Texas A&M and he said they would list the fallen in Vietnam every evening at dinner. My father went to West Point-they listed those who fell at his 50th reunion. My cohort had Grenada, OAF, OIF and OEF-lots of Middle East and West Asia....

On topic for me-hmmm-ROTC scholarship 1981- decision to not stay active and go Reserve in 89 and get a biomedical engineering masters, obtaining my private and instrument pilot licenses in 94-95, volunteering for 6 month assignment in 2001 in Germany which turned into 4 years partly due to Sep 11, squadron command in 2006-7, going to Germany again as a dependent and choosing to start a consultancy while there.

Each of these decisions as well as others were distinct changes in my life direction that led me to where I am today and have allowed me to have many amazing experiences and continue to give me amazing future opportunities.
 
Just about exactly 51 years ago, got a call from a doctoral program half-way across the world that they accepted me with free-ride scholarship. It was a dream of mine since I was in 7th grade. Called my mother to let her know, and she was estatic, but also sad because she said I would end up marrying a local woman and never come home. She was correct— I not only got into my dream doctoral school and career path, but met my future wife in that doctoral program.
 
Early adolescence - socially naive beyond measure - suffice to say, decades later in reminiscing with my best friend (platonic), I was in disbelief.

First house in the 80'''s. DW and I, we worked 7 days a week, nearly around the clock to keep up with a 17+% mortgage and prove to my parents that we had not made a horrific mistake in judgement.

First child late 80s, growing awareness of NY public schools... we moved to PA. Fast forward, DW's cx diagnosis followed by a variety of ongoing 'incidental' findings seemingly serve to disrupt our lives every 18 months. I give her credit, she (rarely) let's things get to her and (rarely) complains. That said, a constant reminder there are no guarantees in life other than taxes and death (or so she tells me!).

The recent (unexpected) loss of one of my best friends, someone I confided in, joked with constantly and was permitted to test the boundaries of almost any conversational topic has left a gaping hole in my heart. Inexplicable other than saying my friend knew me as well as or perhaps even better than my DW.

I will leave off on a positive note. Retirement is good. I volunteer with several organizations: emergency services, a food bank, and in disaster services. DW, enjoys retirement in her own way, organic gardening, constant experimenting in the kitchen and getting together with her girlfriends.

Thank you to each and every one of you for sharing your stories and valuable information.
 
It seems we all have our own life-changing events. Half a dozen sprung to mind as I read these pages. This is a minor one.

About my 5th flying lesson, the engine exploded when the instructor and I were at 1500 feet AGL. Smoke filled the cabin as the instructor slipped the aircraft into a winter wheat field. When I got home my parents wondered how I got all the oil on my pants.

I still visit that field every year almost 60 years later.
 
Early Oct 1984... Was standing on a 30Ft ladder repointing brickwork on the building I lived in, 2 lies from a stranger had the biggest effect on my life...
3 girls walking down the street when my buddies on the ground start flirting.... The one girl wanted to leave but one says " We know these guys, we party with them all the time" Lie #1.
Lie #2 occurred shortly after when I asked... "How old are you"..... This cute girl turned red and the same friend says" She just turned 18"..... She was off by only 2 years
They say 16 will get you 20, but I've done 42 years of a life sentence.

A free steak dinner in 1986.... Was always involved with the Vol fire dept growing up. Our county had a dinner to invite people to start a 1st responder medical program. Within a year I went from driving nails and fixing cars to driving an Ambulance and fixing people.

Covid was devastating to us. We lost 5 close friends, It stalled our house rebuild and my planned retirement.
 
Just thinking, I believe 3-23-20 was COVID market lows. 6th anniversary of that will be this coming Monday. Maybe something happens this weekend in the mideast to spark another capitulation day?
 
Had been laid off and was out of work for a year with a DW two kids and a mortgage -- out of the blue I got a random email from a business associate of one of my friends asking about me. It led to a job and eventually to a business partnership that resulted 24 years later in a net worth well beyond what I could have imagined at the time. I continue to marvel at the serendipitousness of how this unfolded.
 
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On June 16th 2006, a Sunday afternoon. I was at home in my recliner, the Sunday paper spread around me. NASCAR on the TV and I was dozing, wearing shorts but no shirt, shoes or my glasses. It was late afternoon, close to 4pm and the shades were drawn to ward off the heat from the 108 degree outside temperatures and sun beating in. I woke up and noticed shadows on the shade, as if clouds were moving across. Living in the foothills of the Sierras in Northern California, afternoon thunderstorms from up high across the summits sometimes worked their way down to my elevation, so I got up to check to see if we would get some cooling rain. The window looks out over the canyon where our home is on a ridge, the ground 15' below due to the slope of the property, the front door level with the ground. I opened the shade and stared into what I thought was hell. A fire crowning though the canopy of trees was upon us and fire was everywhere. It was as if I were looking into the glass window of our wood stove. I uttered at grunt and backed up in confusion, tripped on the coffee table and knocked myself out hitting the fireplace hearth. When I came to, the house was filling with smoke. I shouted for my wife, who was napping in the bedroom, GET UP! WE ARE ON FIRE! She got up and ran out to me in the living room. I told her to grab the dog, get in the car and drive until she was clear of the flames. I would follow her in my truck. She grabbed our pug dog, her purse which she keeps by the front door, and the cordless phone, calling 911 on her way out. I grabbed my truck keys and left as well. We lost everything. All I had was my truck, keys and the shorts I was wearing. No wallet, no glasses, nothing.
The fire was started by a truck that hit a motorcyclist down on the highway in the canyon below, who fled the scene with the driver side front wheel ripped off during the collision and sending showers of sparks as she fled to escape. She set 21 fires over 4 miles, ours was fire #10. It seems like yesterday sometimes, or like a dream or movie we once watched. The years we spent to recover and return to our new sense of normalcy were many, but we made it. The motorcyclist was killed, the truck driver, a woman sheriff off duty, charged with gross vehicular manslaughter and arson of an occupied dwelling, was sentenced to 11 years. She got 50% off for good behavior and no parole. Neither of those offences are considered violent. We never recovered a dime of restitution from her.
 
Summer 1974 between my freshman and sophomore years of college.

In high school I had done the minimal amount needed to get by and as a result didn't have many choices when it came to collges but luckily my first choice did accept me. My first semester of college was my first living aaway from home and I had a ball, but unfortunately my grade suffered as a result. When mother wrote out the check for the second semester she said that it would be the last if I didn't step it up. I did and similiar to high school did the minimal amount needed to get decent grades and keep the tuition and room and board checks flowing.

The summer of 1974 were difficult economic times and jobs were hard to come by. I was pounding the pavement for a summer job because I really didn't want Plan B, which was working for the family business. I had already had one job painting factory machinery that was boring as hell and that my employer and I agreed was not a good fit after a couple weeks so we parted ways.

One morning I stopped by our local Firestone tire dealer and filled out a job application and talked to the branch manager who said that he didn't have any openings. At the very end he asked me "Do you have a car?" and I replied "Yes". Then he asked "What are you doing this afternoon?" and I said "Just job hunting". Then he said that he needed some tires delivered to a neighboring town and asked if I could do that for him and I said "Sure" and proceeded to do what he asked. When I got back he asked me to come in the next day.

I ended up working for them the entire summer, accepting incoming tires, keeping the warehouse organized, doing inventory, manning the sales floor, changing tires in the shop, doing oil changes in the shop, driving the service truck to other branches to deliver and pick up tires, etc.

I recall one very hot and humid summer day woking in the shop along with the other mechanics. We were all sweating and working hard. It dawned on me that "Tony", one of the mechanics that I had befriended who was just a couple years older than me was a hard worker and made perhaps 25 cents an hour more than the close to minimum wage that I was making.

I had an epiphany... that if I didn't setp up my game and make the most of the college opportunity in front of me that my friend Tony was my future... sweating my a$$ off in a low level job for a little more than minimum wage.

So I redidicated myself to my studies and made Dean's List each semester thereafter. Unfortunately, my low first year held down my cumulative average so I missed my internal goal of graduating with by 25/1000 of a point.

So it was more than a "moment", but it was definitely an experience that changed my life.
 
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Cancer diagnosis 8 years ago (42 years old). It's one thing to know someone with cancer, but it's a totally different feeling to hear that you have it. Every day I see my large surgery scar, and it reminds me to stay positive and focus on the things that bring you happiness. The little stressors in the day-to-day life are just noise.
 
Had been laid off and was out of work for a year with a DW two kids and a mortgage -- out of the blue I got a random email from a business associate of one of my friends asking about me. It led to a job and eventually to a business partnership that resulted 24 years later in a net worth well beyond what I could have imagined at the time. I continue to marvel at the serendipitousness of how this unfolded.

You reminded me.

I was working at a successful company and doing fine workwise, but my personal life was a mess.
I got a phone call out of the blue from an ex-coworker who invited me to come to the Country she was in and work, she offered to let me sleep on her couch until I got settled. She recommended a specific recruiter she used.

The recruiter offered me a job in different city and I took it along with another co-worker.

The original successful company went downhill and bankrupt within months of my leaving, resulting in thousands of unemployed folks competing for the same jobs, but not me :)

The move set me on a rewarding path.
 
I'll go back to the OP and say that COVID date also changed my life, exactly as OP said — suddenly we were working remotely forever. I had enjoyed my home, but I got to enjoying it even more. Working on the deck was great, and so was dumping button-down shirts and ties.

But the workload kept rising. Voluntary buyouts also kept coming, and DW and I (worked at the same place) were increasingly tempted. We went OMY in 2022; we regretted it quickly (market downturn notwithstanding). In June 2023 my annual bike tour was ending, and it was plainly clear one week off in the summer was not enough. I thought that we *had* to take the next buyout, if we could even handle the jobs that much longer.

August 2023, to our surprise, the latest buyout notice came. Life changed again. But like someone said, it was really the culmination of what started with COVID and the realization that maybe we should all take it a little easier and there are bigger priorities. FIRE is still such a radical change for me more than two years in.
 
I have a few big moments in my life which had long-lasting effects. In no particular order....

July 30th, 2001. That was the day I stopped working full-time and began working part-time. I got my life back after working FT for the last 16 years and getting burnt out from an awful commute only made worse a few months earlier when my company moved from lower Manhattan to Jersey City, Jew Jersey. Getting my life back meant I could start or renew 2 activities (square dancing and school Scrabble volunteer work) which I would enjoy for the next 17-19 years.

October 31st, 2008 - My last working at all. Unsatisfied with working PT for the previous 7 years, I had to eliminate work and the commute. My journey to FIRE was complete.

July 4, 2015 - My health issues finally landed me in the hospital where I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes even though I had gone to the ER for an unrelated issue, one which got fixed only after they got my Diabetes and a third problem under control after 10 days in the hospital. I am under doctor care for each of those 3 problems to make sure they remain under control.

October 25th, 1995 - the day my mother passed away. While it didn't have a huge effect on my everyday life, I miss her and wish she was around to see how I was able to FIRE some years later. She got me started on investing, planting the seed which would grow into my ER.

July 8th, 1985 - my first day working at the one job I would stay at until 2008. It was an actuarial job, and the results of the May, 1985 exams came out that day. I had a conditional starting salary, one which would be higher if I passed that exam (which I did). So I got a raise on my very first day!

March 31st, 1989 - I moved into my co-op apartment that day, and I have lived here for the last 37 years when we reach the end of this month. Living here instead of renting was a key step toward eventual ER.

Summer of 1983 - That was the summer when 20-year-old me knew I would never want to have kids. I worked as a day camp counselor for the second straight summer. While being the computer special list was good for my resume, I also realized I would never want to have kids. That was another huge step toward my path to FIRE 25 years later.

April 15th, 2004 - I met the woman who has been my partner for the last (nearly) 22 years. She flew to NY from Kentucky to meet me and we hit it off very well. She moved here that October and has been part of my everyday life ever since.
 
There were just too many life-changing things in my life. Is that good or bad? I dunno, but here's a short list roughly by date.
  • Decided to leave college and moved to Reno, Nevada with my buddy. Ended up meeting my wife and setting my ultimate career path in foodservice after I became a Wendy's manager there.
  • Not getting promoted to a Wendy's regional manager spot. That sent me back to college. Otherwise I'd have continued there, probably forever.
  • My DS being born after DW being told she couldn't possibly have kids. Yay!
  • My DW getting into U of M Pharmacy school. We had no idea at the time that was a difficult thing to do. Of course, being back in Minnesota was another huge, life changing move that allowed her to go back to school. So my promotion that sent us from Reno to St.Paul was also life changing.
  • Accepting the offer of buying into my company's LLP. When that finally paid off, it made us financially independent.
  • After the LLP payout, took the risk of moving my family to California for a sketchy intra-company transfer. Got let go two years later when the President of that division walked out to get the newspaper, had a brain aneurysm and died.
 
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