So how do you retire then?

[collingwood]

Ok, I know I might get some facetious replies here, but its a serious question.
When I think about stopping work it scares the heck out of me! I'm approaching 50, and in the UK (not sure how relevant that is, but thought it worth mentioning )

I've inherited funds such that, together with a decent pension due at 60, I am not too worried about the financial aspects (at least, I don't think that is what's really stopping me). What is stopping me is a mix of the following anxieties:

- what will I do all day? (I know, I know… )

-what if I miss my job? (its a one way ticket, I wouldn't be able to go back to my current role)

-am I really done with work - have I done all I want to? (here, I confess I have some hangups about achievement; I don't feel I've been as successful as perhaps thought I would, and am I just running away)

- I feel guilty because my retirement fund has not been earned

- I don't know how I would explain it to my friends, and I feel that it might create barriers and resentments

- is it really wise at my age to pull the plug on my human capital?

- I feel already that my mind is not as sharp as it was, and I worry that without work pushing me I might just end up slumping into sloth…

I don't know, it just feels against the natural order not to be working whilst I am still able to. Perhaps that's just overblown Calvinistic work ethic (although, I should emphasise, I am NOT a workaholic - I haven't worked full time since my kids were born - but my job is quite demanding nonetheless)

I just wondered how many of you have these hangups, and do they go away once you finally get the courage to pull the plug

 

[REWahoo]

Keep working, you're definitely not ready to retire. You'll recognize it when you get there.

 

[TimSF]

Some of us retired early in part because we believed that there are other causes, endeavors, hobbies, self-care, family-interests, etc. worthy of our time. You may not be "done" with your career work yet, and that is just fine. But consider what else your life perhaps might be for.

 

[collingwood]

How?

 

[TimSF]

For me, it took several years of contemplating before I knew I was mentally ready. I also had some light volunteer work, part-time teaching, and travel plans lined up; which helped ease me into the transition. Give it time; you will know. Doesn't sound like you are there yet.

 

[EastWest Gal]

I received a very good inheritance 5 years before hanging it up. It wasn't quite enough to retire at the time, but in the past 5 years my NW essentially doubled. I wanted to retire as early as possible from the time I got out of medical school. But discovering this board and paying off my house, using FireCalc and other calculators over and over for a few months made me realize I was ready.

I still struggle with what to do all day. I also have to contemplate whether or not to renew my Board certification in Pediatrics at the end of this year. It will take a bit of work, but it isn't horribly expensive. That part of me is not ready to let go.

Having other things to do and plans to do them are really helpful. Look at some of the reading list for ideas. "How to Retire Happy Wild and Free" is a book I haven't finished but I found it very useful.

 

[utrecht]

What did you do all day when you were a kid and it was summer vacation? When I was a kid I could do whatever I wanted to provided it was free and within my neighborhood because I had no money and only had a bike.

Now I have a car, access to any kind of transportation and money. I can do whatever I want to, wherever I want to, even if it costs a significant amount of money. I have no limitations, within reason. Why would I want to sit in an office and do what other people tell me to do, when they tell me to do it?

If you think about it, other than needing the money to survive, working makes no sense. Any reason you can give to work, from mental stimulation to human interaction and camaraderie, I can get without working.

 

[collingwood]

Utrecht, that is exactly what keeps going round in my head. I genuinely can't rationalise my resistance. I think a lot of it is fear of the unknown, perhaps also of people's reactions, and I guess of trying to do things a different way in a world which is somewhat disapproving of 'slackers'.
I was certainly happier when I was younger and not on the career treadmill. I even enjoyed my casual jobs that I got for money while a student. But it's not really possible to travel back in time and live like a youth or even a child with no responsibilities is it? I also feel that I should be using my talents and experience for some greater good (not that I'm saying my work is necessarily the only way to do that, but I do wonder how meaningful a contribution can be made as a volunteer).



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[utrecht]

Utrecht, that is exactly what keeps going round in my head. I genuinely can't rationalise my resistance. I think a lot of it is fear of the unknown, perhaps also of people's reactions, and I guess of trying to do things a different way in a world which is somewhat disapproving of 'slackers'.
I was certainly happier when I was younger and not on the career treadmill. I even enjoyed my casual jobs that I got for money while a student. But it's not really possible to travel back in time and live like a youth or even a child with no responsibilities is it? I also feel that I should be using my talents and experience for some greater good (not that I'm saying my work is necessarily the only way to do that, but I do wonder how meaningful a contribution can be made as a volunteer).
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You are never going to be happy if you care what people think. Ive been retired for 5 months and have never been happier (and I liked my job). Yes, I believe it is possible to go back in time and live like you did when you were young without a care in the world. I'm doing it right now. The only care I have is when am I going to completely heal from my back surgery and the cross country move we are making in 2 weeks.

This will surprise you once you do retire, but you will find out that most people couldn't care less what you do. They don't care if you are at the movies or grocery store at 11am on a Tuesday. They don't even notice.

 

[collingwood]

yes, I think you're right (about caring what people think). I don't really mind what strangers think, but I wonder whether things would change with my friends. I may be underestimating them though.
Most important though is that I care what I think, and I have to get to the point where I think it's ok. I'm working on it



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[utrecht]

I don't know where I read it but someone a while back mentioned that they knew a hospice nurse that cared for dying patients. The nurse always asked the person what regrets they had in life as they laid there on their death bed. The nurse said that not a single one of them said that they wished they had worked longer. Let that sink in.

 

[dallas27]

If it helps, i can call you "gramps".


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[LitGal]

Some of us retired early in part because we believed that there are other causes, endeavors, hobbies, self-care, family-interests, etc. worthy of our time. You may not be "done" with your career work yet, and that is just fine. But consider what else your life perhaps might be for.

+1

 

[MBAustin]

I had many of the same concerns about relationships with others and whether it was "OK" to stop w*rking when I was still relatively young and capable. But fortunately my father had retired in his early 50's and I had watched how well he adapted, so I kept reminding myself it would be OK. I have taken on several major volunteer roles and have found that my career experiences are quite valuable and relevant.

Bottom line is that worrying about what other people think is a waste of energy.

 

[W2R]

I just wondered how many of you have these hangups, and do they go away once you finally get the courage to pull the plug

I had all of those hang-ups and more, colllingwood. I was so ambitious it hurt, and was brought up to think that one had a duty to contribute to society/civilization.

I don't think I was ready to retire at that stage, because I didn't yet know how much I might (or might not) be able to do with my life.

After I got to a certain point (in my late 50's), I realized that I had gotten as far as I was going to get, and had nothing more to contribute. For me, the best next step was retirement. I retired as soon as I could after that and haven't looked back.

Maybe that will happen to you at some point. Good luck to you, and good for you to be thinking this through right now.

 

[nuke_diver]

I don't know your friends but all of my friends were both jealous (because I could and they couldn't) and ecstatic for me. No one will likely think less of you and I would venture if they do you probably don't need/want them as friends

I stopped working 3 months ago so my timeframe is still short. I haven't missed work for a second. If you live to work then likely you will miss it and you probably shouldn't retire...ever since it won't necessarily be different in 10, 20 years. If you have hobbies/activities you enjoy and also like to make your own decisions on what to do when then retirement is a great place to be

 

[nash031]

When I was a kid, I ran, rode my bike, and read books... this seems like a good start for the first year or twenty. Then maybe I'll figure out a calling.

 

[Henry Lili]

If you're worried about what others will think there is a thread on this site somewhere about creating a backstory to tell folks at least at the beginning. Some of those include that you are an independent consultant or taking a sabbatical or a portfolio manager. You get the idea.

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[Bamaman]

What will I do all day? Take up a hobby. Do volunteer work. Finish all those projects you've been putting off at home. I work harder now than when working.
What if I miss my job? I've never heard anyone say they miss a job. You won't.
Am I really done with work? - Have I done all I want to? No, you're not going to be done with work. Done with a job, yes. You'll find so many new interests in life.
I feel guilty because my retirement fund has not been earned. Although your employer might have paid part or all of your pension, believe me that you've earned it. Have no doubts.
I don't know how I would explain it to my friends, and I feel that it might create barriers and resentments. Real friends should be happy that you can retire early and have the resources to enjoy life.
Is it really wise at my age to pull the plug on my human capital? You never know how long you will have on this good earth. Plan on living life to the fullest as long as you have good health.
I feel already that my mind is not as sharp as it was, and I worry that without work pushing me I might just end up slumping into sloth… My mind's not quite as sharp as it was 20 years ago, but I'm much happier doing my own thing. I get by quite well, thank you.

I watched my father live his dreams from retirement 1979 until 2007. I've just been in preparation to walk in his footsteps for many years. I never intended to work until I died.

 

[Car-Guy]

I just wondered how many of you have these hangups, and do they go away once you finally get the courage to pull the plug

Well, other than receiving an inheritance, I (like many here) wondered about and/or feared many of the same things before retiring. That in part is what caused me a couple of OMY's. 50 might be a bit young to retire if you have difficulty with these kind of questions but if you can really afford it, and that's what you want, then why not. You may not be ready yet but keep asking yourself these questions and you'll probably be able to answer them (talk yourself into it) before too many more years.

I can't speak for the others here but for me the fear went away very quickly once I "retired".

 

[utrecht]

What will I do all day? Take up a hobby. Do volunteer work. Finish all those projects you've been putting off at home. I work harder now than when working.
What if I miss my job? I've never heard anyone say they miss a job. You won't.
Am I really done with work? - Have I done all I want to? No, you're not going to be done with work. Done with a job, yes. You'll find so many new interests in life.
I feel guilty because my retirement fund has not been earned. Although your employer might have paid part or all of your pension, believe me that you've earned it. Have no doubts.
I don't know how I would explain it to my friends, and I feel that it might create barriers and resentments. Real friends should be happy that you can retire early and have the resources to enjoy life.
Is it really wise at my age to pull the plug on my human capital? You never know how long you will have on this good earth. Plan on living life to the fullest as long as you have good health.
I feel already that my mind is not as sharp as it was, and I worry that without work pushing me I might just end up slumping into sloth… My mind's not quite as sharp as it was 20 years ago, but I'm much happier doing my own thing. I get by quite well, thank you.

I watched my father live his dreams from retirement 1979 until 2007. I've just been in preparation to walk in his footsteps for many years. I never intended to work until I died.

Nice post!

 

[Pbkmaine]

As an exercise, why don't you make a grid with 21 spaces? Label the spaces with the days of the week and morning, afternoon, evening. Try filling them in. I realized I was ready to retire when I could fill the spaces in and what I saw there made me happy.

 

[Birdie Num Nums]

I discovered that retirement improved my health significantly. That is priceless!

 

[LBrowning]

I'm older than you (62), but I'm struggling with the same things you are. I hope I can resolve most of them in the next ten months. Good luck, whatever you decide.

 

[Davis65]

Talk to people who have retired. Ask them if it was a good decision, or if they'd change their decision if there could. I haven't found anyone yet who regrets retiring, but I am sure there must be a few. Probably a very few.