Struggling

[robnplunder]

I retired at age 54, and filling my time was not a problem. I planned my retirement such that my work hours are replaced by what I love to do, golf. Instead of going to work every day, I played golf 5 days a week.

 

[AudreyClaude]

Unfortunately, you are in a situation that many of my retired friends are in. During their adult life they never bothered to find something they can be passionate about and be consumed by it if they had time. Golf was mentioned by someone here. For me it will be (I'm retiring in 3 months) ham radio, remodeling a house, writing vanity code (I already have a project lined up). As a backup it will be fishing but I'm not sure I'll have the time commitment as it takes time to drive to fishing spots but it is something I did when I was younger and I was passionate about it at the time but marriage and family put an end to that activity.

As for brain stimulation I plan to learn how to write iOS apps (I'm a S/W engineer by training but have never tried writing Swift code in Xcode development environment) and get at least one published in the App Store. I plan to start from scratch and have not spent any effort trying to learn now to get a head start. I also have some S/W projects I plan to work on for fun and profit, but not related to my former job.

I spend a lot of time on YouTube which is already like a disease (I have it running on another screen as I type this). Some of my retired friends are spending insane numbers of hours watching Netflix and I realize how alluring it can be and will purposely never even give Netflix a sniff. They literally define the term, couch potato.

From the perspective of being self-aware, I am very aware of my weaknesses and tendencies, especially to become addicted to video media and will do everything I can think of to avoid that fate. I see friends gaining weight, looking older than their years and just degenerating from their former selves prior to retirement. It may be OK for them but I don't want that to happen to me if I can help it.

I'm not judgmental in the sense of expressing any of my opinions to them but when they complain about being bored or tired all the time I can only recommend to them to find something they can be passionate about without forcing the issue. Some of them try to force themselves into doing something they don't enjoy and once they go through that cycle a few times they revert back to being a couch potato. Like I said, might be fine for them but not how I plan to be if I can help it.

Hey, this is so true. My screen time is up. I am moving to another country to "have activities and friends". Btw good luck for the App! Thank you for the reminder.

 

[DrRoy]

+1 on trying Meetup.com to see if you find something that works for you. For me, travel (including the planning) and photography (including editing and posting) fill enough of my time that reading and music fill plenty of the rest.

 

[rodi]

I am an introvert. My social needs are meet by my morning chat with my beach buddies after I walk the beach each morning. There's a group that hangs out in the same spot must mornings. Because of the introvert thing I didn't feel the need to interact with others for the rest of the day. My husband is more extroverted and needs to have more interaction.

For my "purpose" I've found volunteer activities that guy my interests. I got involved in local planning and spent a few years on a community plan update (land use and zoning) and then transitioned to a local community association. I'm resigning from that board in August because of travel commitments, but will stay involved when I'm not traveling.

For me the volunteer activities had to meet my intellectual interests. A lot of it is individual. For example digging into proposed city projects then advocating using public comment at city council one way or another. I'm good at analysis and a decent speaker... I know I've had impact on some of the council votes... (But been ignored far more often, lol).

It took me a while to find my balance of too busy versus bored.

 

[Route246]

Hey, this is so true. My screen time is up. I am moving to another country to "have activities and friends". Btw good luck for the App! Thank you for the reminder.

Thanks. I'm chomping at the bit to get started on the app but i'll take my time in initiating the project because it may consume me, in a good way. Good luck on your move to another country.

 

[Koolau]

Hey, this is so true. My screen time is up. I am moving to another country to "have activities and friends". Btw good luck for the App! Thank you for the reminder.

If you're willing to share, what country? But in any case, may I ask how moving to another country provides more activities (and, especially friends). I don't make friends easily, so going to a new place wouldn't be helpful to me in that regard but I know we are all different. Kind regards.

 

[YellowSubmarine]

Looking for some wisdom here. I’m just over three years into RE. Well I’m about to turn 58 so not very early . Before I continue I realize what I’m about to say puts me in a very privileged category, and I am indeed very grateful for what FI has given me.

That said, I feel like I’ve followed all the advice. I study a foreign language, have taken up drawing, exercise daily, belong to a yoga community, am ticking off bucket list travel itineraries. I tried volunteering which wasn’t for me, but started a mentoring business helping creatives looking to build out their talents. It’s sort of come & go but satisfying when I have clients. I read, hike, have gone camping, and experimented with other random things like a tarot class just to see.

We don’t have children so grandkids don’t fill up my time, and my younger partner still works, as do all but one friend who is broke and dealing with health issues—we usually just get coffee or sit and talk. My social life has tanked as a result and living in in a major city where people live to work doesn’t help. Due to my partners job we can’t really leave, unless it’s another major market which doesn’t seem like a great solution. If I were single or with a FI partner I might try out Europe or a mid size city that has easier social patterns. I do actually have lots of friends scattered around the world and have been taking trips to visit them, but that gets expensive real fast.

I love not having a high pressure career, but I just find that trying to fill my time is very hard even with all the activities. I don’t really want to work at Starbucks or something. Productive hobbies are fun, but it’s not like having mission driven work activities.

Anyway just wondering if anyone can relate and has found any solutions? I’ve wondered if I should just go back to work but that feels a bit like a cop out.

Thank you

I took the Master Gardener training at the State University where we work with the Extension Office for our county. I found the experience to be very socially engaging, artful and stimulating. Plus, gardening is personally rewarding with ornamental plants and food crops. (fyi...most state universities or counties have a linked program for MG training -check Extension Office with your County).

 

[AudreyClaude]

If you're willing to share, what country? But in any case, may I ask how moving to another country provides more activities (and, especially friends). I don't make friends easily, so going to a new place wouldn't be helpful to me in that regard but I know we are all different. Kind regards.

Hey, I'm going to Seoul in South Korea soon to study abroad about Korean Language in Yonsei University. It's not something that's so serious, I've learned it since last year so I got a little knowledge of it.Right now it's kinda popular among International people from 20s-30s (mostly singles and have extra money to do it), so I guess it's gonna be fun. Even though you can't find friends easily, it's still an interesting place to go solo travelling while finishing homework and have routine to go to class. I'll try 3 months first and see how it goes.

 

[Koolau]

Hey, I'm going to Seoul in South Korea soon to study abroad about Korean Language in Yonsei University. It's not something that's so serious, I've learned it since last year so I got a little knowledge of it.Right now it's kinda popular among International people from 20s-30s (mostly singles and have extra money to do it), so I guess it's gonna be fun. Even though you can't find friends easily, it's still an interesting place to go solo travelling while finishing homework and have routine to go to class. I'll try 3 months first and see how it goes.

Thanks! All the best to you in this new adventure.