Terminal illness and SS decision.

[Scratchy]

Your husband is most fortunate to have you by his side. Wishing you both strength and moments of joy amid the difficulties you're facing.

 

[ivinsfan]

ImaC's decision making process looks solid. If waiting until you have no emotions involved in when to take SS, I doubt anyone would pass that requirement!

I wish them both the best as they start making these decisions..

 

[brett]

Very sorry for your news.

I would be inclined to try to get a referral to a good financial consultant/tax accountant who is well versed in the financial issues that you are facing.

At best he or she will be able to recommend a course of action for you given you financial situation and future tax considerations.

You will have enough on your plate in the next little while. Now it the time to try and sort this, along with other legal issues, out in order to ease the burden as you move forward.

 

[target2019]

Decision making is not always binary. It is not necessarily final. For example, I can decide to wait for SS and see the benefit boosted each year. But I can change my mind between now and 70.

The best advice is not always what I think, or what is standard. Recommendations about assessing other related factors makes sense to me.

 

[ImaCheesehead]

Numbers and finance are the easiest pieces of my life to think about right now, TBH. Assets and expenses are relatively finite. Everything else is spinning wildly out of control and there is no likely clarity coming anytime soon.

I have always been the planner/manager in our relationship as he had no interest in any of it, so luckily I don’t have to learn that on top of everything else

 

[whatnot]

I am so sorry to hear about your DH diagnosis.
Hoping he gets the best care and treatment.
Unfortunately, can’t give advice on SS, I need to get up to speed on the complex rules.

 

[Koolau]

Numbers and finance are the easiest pieces of my life to think about right now, TBH. Assets and expenses are relatively finite. Everything else is spinning wildly out of control and there is no likely clarity coming anytime soon.

I have always been the planner/manager in our relationship as he had no interest in any of it, so luckily I don’t have to learn that on top of everything else

You will find that, just like in all the difficult things in life, you will do what needs to be done. Clarity will come - maybe slowly, but it will come. Blessings to you and your husband.

 

[Cayman]

Sorry to hear this news. Sending thoughts of peace and comfort to you and your husband.

 

[target2019]

As things spin wildly out of control, lean on those around who are caring and informative.

It helped me to know there was what came before, and what was in front of us. That and other ideas are mentioned here: https://www.npr.org/2021/02/07/965014038/suleika-jaouad-on-moving-forward-after-a-cancer-diagnosis

Many things that you come across may not exactly fit your experiences. But I always could find one building block for the future.

Drug trials and so on should be mentioned by the oncologist somewhere along the way. Definitely stay connected to every resource that appears along the way. Write down what you hear, and ask for clarification if some information is not clear.

 

[Dd852]

I send you all best wishes possible. My only advice is this: you have more important things to worry about than social security strategy. Just as you wouldn’t manage your DH’s care on our advice you shouldn’t manage your finances that way either. No matter how independent the two of you have been up til now, now is the time to get a very good fee based advisor who can present you with clear options and help you through decisions - exactly as the doctors are doing with health.

Your own self care should be your #1 priority. Put your oxygen mask on before helping others. Rely on friends. Find a counselor or pastor or whatever type of advisor works best for you. Find ways of getting rest and exercise and good nutrition yourself. Don’t stress over things that can easily be outsourced to others - like making a SS plan.

I am so sorry, and wish you and your husband peace and comfort as you battle this next phase of your long life together.

 

[rayvt]

If you have $3.3M then you don't need SS to live on.

So there is really no need to try to optimize what you'll get from lifetime SS.

So you might as well go ahead and file now.

This is why people file for SS at 62. Because stuff happens. If stuff doesn't happen, then your $3.3M will carry you through.

 

[RunningBum]

If you have $3.3M then you don't need SS to live on.

So there is really no need to try to optimize what you'll get from lifetime SS.

Pure nonsense.

 

[skyking1]

I cannot offer financial wisdom, but wanted to express our condolences for this situation. We went through glioblastoma with my sister this last year and are so sorry for your husband's illness. Be gentle with yourselves in this difficult time.

 

[KarenF]

Lots of good answers here. I just want to say I am really sorry. I am 62 and just had a good friend suffer a life changing injury which means she will never walk a long distance again (she almost lost her leg). While this is not in the terminal illness category, it is another reminder that nothing is guaranteed and everything can change in an instant. You are able to think about what is best to do in this situation, which is more than most would be able to do. Sending hugs.

 

[imnontrad]

I help out on a SS facebook group with over 42K members.

1) He should NOT file for SS. You want to ensure that this benefit is as large as possible for a surviving spouse benefit.
2) You should file at 62 but then bank that money because your ideal situation is to keep on that benefit until your Full Retirement Age at 67 and then transition to his benefit. His benefit would continue to grow with any applied COLAs BUT it will be reduced for life if you apply before your FRA. (this is assuming that his benefit is higher than yours even by age 70)
3) Or you could hold off filing for SS and then have more "window" available to convert funds from a pre-tax retirement account to Roth to avoid higher taxes/Medicare premium costs (IRMAA) later on. However, you would have to weigh this against getting fewer checks before transitioning to the other benefit.

 

[crazyfordlr]

Numbers and finance are the easiest pieces of my life to think about right now, TBH. Assets and expenses are relatively finite. Everything else is spinning wildly out of control and there is no likely clarity coming anytime soon.

I have always been the planner/manager in our relationship as he had no interest in any of it, so luckily I don’t have to learn that on top of everything else

You and I are much alike. Give me SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures) to follow and I'm good! Leave me to my own devices and I'm a mess!

 

[Momoney293]

Feel bad about the illness & what you are going thru.
Contrary to other opinions I say, you are comfortably well off... Concentrate on your husband's care ( the best available), make it the easiest life for you BOTH.
Claim the SS now, if you don't need it invest safely, nominate how much goes to whom or better still if they are old enough let them have it now to enjoy it when they can. Read the book "DIE WITH ZERO".

 

[Perryinva]

My deepest sympathies with what you both are going through. My worst nightmare. I agree with the no need to make a decision for a few months.

I also agree that you may as well file at 62. The “smaller sooner/larger later” argument is still valid. As to his, the when discussion is still as complicated. The claim sooner and invest it for a longer term payback vs the delay later for highest “pension” is also still the same. From a strictly numbers standpoint, it depends on if there are other sources of income, and how the current nest egg is invested and how comfortable the OP is herself with investing. A person that handles things very conservatively vs a market investor are in different potential playing fields.

On going Chemo & radiation will be expensive even with Medicare and the deductible long gone. Out of pocket treatment costs can EASILY become $10-15k a month.

Unfortunately I have had too many friends that discovered this with different cancers. I have no knowledge whatsoever on the OPs DHs potential costs, but this should be addressed once they are undertaking a plan. It may make more sense to file sooner to prevent too much early reductions to the investments, especially if the OP has investments that have suffered during the current pullback of the market, but was expected to recover through time, or their investments are earning currently high interest rates which may get reduced later as inflation drops/market improves and rates are reduced.

The tax situation will change as suddenly filing itemized will be needed to include the medical deduction. So increased taxes that may occur from claiming SS earlier will more than likely be a non issue. Putting off filing for his until the OP FRA is still good advice.

My point is that perhaps not filing until his age 70 or forced earlier, may take many more years to recover the impact to the nest egg because of the lost opportunities for tax relief from excessive medical costs and the effect on drawing down the nest egg. In addition, many people, if health allows, will want to “do something while Instill can”, IE a lavish vacation, whatever, which while further impacting finances, may be the only Ray of sunshine the suffering person and spouse may have together. After all, life is to be enjoyed and is the reason we live. Delaying as long as possible is usually though of with business as usual conditions, not under the unusual condition currently discussed.

 

[comm5131]

Sorry for your diagnosis! First, Roswell Park Comprehensive Cancer Center has a new treatment for this type of cancer that has proven to extend ones life by almost double, assuming the tumor isn't too big at this point. I think it has already been stated on here, but I would apply for his SS now. You would be eligible for a widow's benefit. My wife was 56 when she passed away. She had already started to receive a SS disability benefit. Upon her passing I was told by SS office that I could start collecting a widows benefit once I turned 60, which i have been collecting for a few months now. The amount of the benefit declines based on the level of your earned income if you are still working. By the time I started collecting the SS widows benefit, I have been retired for nearly 2 years

 

[target2019]

Taking the edge off chemotherapy

Right before chemotherapy began my nurse daughter brought to our house a wellness kit she had put together. It was nice that she thought ahead and bought many things to make me comfortable. My spouse and her sister also provided great support with special foods and treats along the way.

I purchased a Dell student rucksack due to its smaller size and numerous pockets. It has enough room for my tech accessories, a tablet, a jacket, and many of the small and large comforts she brought me.

weighted blanket
eye shades
neck pillow
water bottle with straw
packets of water additives for flavor, etc.
lip balm, chapstick
slippers
reserve battery
breath mints
Vaseline hydrotherapy with Aloe
nasal spray
saline eye drops
soft tissues in travel packs

S-I-L brought edibles and crocheted socks.

I placed power strips in locations where they'd be accessible. I bought extra cables for USB and -C connections, as well as additional power blocks. Have spare AA and AAA batteries for the remotes.

There's no such thing as too many pillows. Eventually you find a nice position, and the pillows support you or your electronics just so.

We have reclining sofas as well as two reclining chairs. Whatever gave me comfort, that was where I settled, at least for awhile.

Heating pads and blankets for the cold are nice additions.

I was never shy about using Amazon to order any gadget or item to help me overcome even a small discomfort.

Hoping this list helps your family just a bit.

 

[sengsational]

Sorry to hear the unsettling health news. I'd probably rest assured that for someone in your financial situation, the difference between the options is going to be pretty small on a % basis. It's always nice to take the higher expected value path at the decision nodes, but life is also full of chance nodes that you simply must deal with, as you have most certainly have found.

 

[JBTX]

Thank you all, and as usual, the collective wisdom is correct.

I went back to Open Social Security and re-ran the numbers and it does still tell me to file for mine at 62 and survivor at my survivor FRA which is 66 and 10 months for those born in 1961, and he does not file at all. I would have sworn it said to start now for him, but I clearly did not enter something correctly the first time. I am so glad I asked instead of assuming I did it right. Additionally, further research shows that you can only do the 6 month back date after reaching FRA which doesn’t happen for DH til next month.

Thanks to all for advice and best wishes. As far as SS goes it seems the best course is to do nothing but I am thinking I am going to be asking for more advice as we go down this long road.

Really sorry to hear this.

The creator of open social security is Mike Piper, and his website is obliviousinvestor.com. He posts on Bogleheads. He could be a useful resource. Not only is he knowledgeable about social security, he has written a useful book

https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Mike_Piper


After the Death of Your Spouse: Next Financial Steps for Surviving Spouses

https://a.co/d/0LvjJXG

Hopefully this isn’t needed for a long time to come, but it is good to have if the worst case arises.

 

[ImaCheesehead]

Thank you all for your comments, recommendations, insights and sharing your own experiences. I value every post.

DH is still in the rehab hospital but we are hoping for a Saturday release. He will have to be watched 24/7 as the surgery really disrupted his cognitive abilities. His short term memory is poor, he can’t track time or days and he wouldn’t be able to get himself out of danger or call 911 if something happened.

Next week he goes in for a day of MRI’s and tests so that his radiation can be planned. I was surprised that PerryinVa reported that even with Medicare and a supplement that the costs for his treatment might run 10k a month or so. The vast majority or people in this country cannot afford that (although we can and will) so do people just not get the care they need? That is a very sad thought.

 

[audreyh1]

If you have traditional Medicare supplement coverage I don’t think you’re going to see $10k a month extra in medical bills. Cancer drugs are typically covered by Part B as well. Folks without supplement coverage might see that. Or people on a Medicare Advantage plan.

Experimental treatments different ballgame of course.

Sorry you are having to go through this.

 

[ivinsfan]

Ima....generally speaking I think Perryinva statement is somewhat confusing. every person has different treatment and a different type of insurance. it's so individual. A broad statement such as he made isn't really on point. I wouldn't worry too much about huge bills at this point.



I'm so sorry you and your DH are going thru this. Be sure and take care of yourself too.