The Busy Lives of Our Young People

[street]

It would be nice to have or the other to stay home. I also know there careers are very important to them also. Family should come first and in most cases that happens. Two working parents has been happening as long as I was a kid and will continue to happen.

 

[MarieIG]

We were extremely busy as parents, and DS & DDL are also extremely busy.

I was a stay-at-home mother for very young children a few years before I started graduate school, at night. Frankly, I could not have "worked" any harder, as it was constant, than I did as a stay-at-home mother to little ones. Feedings, diapers, cooking, constant cleaning, constant surveillance, illnesses, doctor visits, ER visits, playing with, teaching. When I started working - someone had to do what I was doing during the time frame while I was at work although I tended to be the one who took them to the bus stop, did homework with, and went to teachers meetings after I started working.

DH also worked very hard, and had to commute into the city. Other than a one year stint in city I was able to work locally which allowed me to stop at home a few times a week which was a big plus.

We did not have a big house or new cars. Our BTD was education, tutors, sports activities, lots of food, clothes and foot ware, and when they got older car insurance.

DDIL is a stay-at-home mother and couldn't work any harder, in particular due to one of the children have special needs. .

 

[street]

We were extremely busy as parents, and DS & DDL are also extremely busy.

I was a stay-at-home mother for very young children a few years before I started graduate school, at night. Frankly, I could not have "worked" any harder, as it was constant, than I did as a stay-at-home mother to little ones. Feedings, diapers, cooking, constant cleaning, constant surveillance, illnesses, doctor visits, ER visits, playing with, teaching. When I started working - someone had to do what I was doing during the time frame while I was at work although I tended to be the one who took them to the bus stop, did homework with, and went to teachers meetings after I started working.

DH also worked very hard, and had to commute into the city. Other than a one year stint in city I was able to work locally which allowed me to stop at home a few times a week which was a big plus.

We did not have a big house or new cars. Our BTD was education, tutors, sports activities, lots of food, clothes and foot ware, and when they got older car insurance.

DDIL is a stay-at-home mother and couldn't work any harder, in particular due to one of the children have special needs. .

You really were a busy Family when your kids were small. It all works outs one way or another. I went to a babysitter before school starting years myself. people had to work in those years too so food and essentials were meet for life.

 

[Sue J]

......
I think the organized activities have gotten way out of hand. My two granddaughters are in ballet but at least they're in the same class. Six-year-old brother is starting basketball. They also have church activities, including an excellent home-school enrichment program on Tuesday mornings. That's relatively sane. A friend has 3 grandchildren. The 12-year old girl is in soccer, gymnastics and dance. Her 9-year old brother is in soccer and basketball. Their 6-year old sister is "only" in soccer right now. Weekends are crazy since soccer doesn't stop when the weather gets cold- it just moves indoors. Typically the older two have a couple of games on the same day. I never got DS into team sports- neither of us was interested and I didn't need the extra chaos (my Ex was out of the picture by then). Fortunately both of us got into fitness on our own. He plays basketball regularly and lifts weights; I'm a 72-year old gym rat.

When our boys were young we limited the after school activities to one sport each semester. The younger son also had his weekly drumming lessons and then he could choose one sport. He alternated between soccer, basketball and baseball. He loved baseball and did that one many times. Our older son had no interest in sports so he was immersed in Lego and then computers when they became home appliances. Nice that those were home activities, I always knew where he was!

 

[athena53]

When our boys were young we limited the after school activities to one sport each semester. The younger son also had his weekly drumming lessons and then he could choose one sport. He alternated between soccer, basketball and baseball. He loved baseball and did that one many times.

This is actually healthy for kids. I follow Dr. Peter Attia and he and another doc were talking about kids' fitness. They were really against early specialization, not only in a sport but in a particular position in that sport. One of them had had major arguments with a daughter who wanted to do only one sport and they insisted that she alternate with another one. She did, and ended up better at her preferred sport.

 

[Retired Expat]

Just found out this weekend some of the scheduling of our son and daughter-in-law have for the next few weeks. This DIL will fly of out state for a litigation hearing this week. Next week Son will be out of town for a week of further education for his job. The following week, a week long trial case for DIL. It makes me tired just thinking about it!! The have an 8 year old and 3 year old girls. We maybe can help travel there one of the times for a few days but he have things scheduled in conflict with some the time they need a little help.

It really makes me appreciatenot having to work for a living any more. I see the hustle and bustle of the young people I know in the area I live in as well. Not sure if it is harder these days from the days when wife and I were in our working days or not. You just did what we had to do, over time may have forgot how stressful it was.

I second the appreciation of not working any more but do think things are easier now then when I was starting out….

I travelled a lot for work and the ability to video call now or use something like WhatsApp really keeps people in touch. Before had to travel with lots of coins and find a pay phone! Yeah I am old! Now a days we can share a calendar to coordinate activities, share photos of what we are doing and remain much more connected. While away from home can remotely control heating, lighting and all those kinds of things, find my laptop or keys, car etc which was an issue when on the go. Did I lock the front door? Turn down the thermostat? Etc when leaving the house? Ride sharing, inta cart, Amazon helps too.

But I will admit that all the conveniences we have now have only increased the daily pressures of life. Before answering machines you just had to keep calling, then you knew you had to wait until that person got home and played the message. Now it is an instant message and why didn’t you immediately respond? Or a call to their cell phone.

I still travel a great deal but now out of choice and daily life is full of activities but my watch reminds me of where to be, when to leave, pick up milk when on my way home. I think we simply adapt to our circumstances so overall things just go on as they did before as there are still only so many hours in a day….

 

[Sorcerer]

It's a lot less stressful when one parent stays at home and focuses on raising the kids when they're young.

This isn't true at all. From all the stay at home (typically moms) that we are friends with, they are all a mess. There isn't any less running around. There also isn't a shared responsibility between the parents. The guys expect the moms to do absolutely everything, and its soul crushing for them. Not to mention, the women are essentially stuck. They don't work so have no money. No independence. They are almost as helpless as the children they raise.

Take a look at the older generations where it was expected that women stay home and raise the kids while men worked. Most of them were also a mess. Depression was taboo so it wasn't allowed to be discussed. The women had to put on a happy face at all times. That generation wasn't any better with mental health. Ignorance is bliss.

 

[G POP]

Not in a healthy world. It needs to be balanced. Humans are not supposed to be robots, busy all the time.

We all die in the end. Dying while too busy all life long vs dying with a balanced life - are two different perspectives. People have preferences and are entitled to their preference.

There is No Such Thing as a Balanced Life​

The concept of a balanced life is often viewed as an unrealistic goal. It is suggested that true balance does not exist, and instead, one should focus on priorities and sacrifices. This perspective is supported by various experts who emphasize that trying to maintain balance can lead to increased stress and is not conducive to achieving extraordinary success. Instead of striving for balance, it is recommended to seek counterbalance, allowing some areas of life to remain unaddressed temporarily to focus on what is most important.

LinkedIn+5

 

[jollystomper]

This isn't true at all. From all the stay at home (typically moms) that we are friends with, they are all a mess. There isn't any less running around. There also isn't a shared responsibility between the parents. The guys expect the moms to do absolutely everything, and its soul crushing for them. Not to mention, the women are essentially stuck. They don't work so have no money. No independence. They are almost as helpless as the children they raise.

Take a look at the older generations where it was expected that women stay home and raise the kids while men worked. Most of them were also a mess. Depression was taboo so it wasn't allowed to be discussed. The women had to put on a happy face at all times. That generation wasn't any better with mental health. Ignorance is bliss.

Our experience has been exactly the opposite. It has a lot more to do with the shared values the parents and perhaps the community has, and cannot be assumed to be a blanket stereotype.