The curious case of the extremely nosey neighbor!

[Sunset]

She has yet to trespass as our post box is adjacent to the public road. I like your suggestions though it’s something we have been kicking around. I wouldn’t know where to begin in finding someone to professionally install the security. I’d want to keep it off the cloud.

Just buy some Wyze cameras, wyze.com (about $25 each is all you need, no subscription needed). Does run on 2.4 wifi , so your router has to do that, which is common. Can see all the action and alerts on your phone.

 

[twirler]

Just buy some Wyze cameras, wyze.com (about $25 each is all you need, no subscription needed). Does run on 2.4 wifi , so your router has to do that, which is common. Can see all the action and alerts on your phone.

Thanks for this.

 

[Fermion]

That’s not how the law works in our area, “however we are not letting the dog out”. It has been taken to classes and trained, we worked with it for years. We have a fence that cost 10k around our property made of metal. It’s a hound. When hounds smell something they go for it. Up and over, ripping the fence apart of digging under it. It’s a rescue. If people don’t like dogs it usually means something about that person .

Yes, it means a responsible person minding their own business getting exercise walking on a public road doesn't like a strange animal running at them aggressively. "Oh, but my dog is friendly!" Too bad dogs don't have a big sign on them and I don't know that your dog is not some other dog maybe not so friendly.

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

OP- do you ever see any family or friends visiting this woman? I’m just wondering if anyone else has “eyes” on her in case she is exhibiting other odd behaviors to people who know her better.

I worked in social services for 35+ years including adult services.
There were times when we would get alerted to a seniors odd behaviors through family, friends, and casual acquaintances. One time it was through animal control.
I would probably call the local social services office and just say that you are concerned about her behavior and wonder if someone shouldn’t check in on her. Doesn’t mean that they will go out right away- but they should contact her in some way. Maybe they find out something maybe it’s just that she’s an odd person.

 

[homestead]

My neighbor has cameras pointed at my house if you want to talk nosy. And the info is stored in the cloud. . . Nothing I can do as they refuse to point them in another direction and isn't illegal.

I get that they want to monitor their driveway and so on but . . . they make comments on my behavior like taking out trash and that sort of thing they get alerts on. I just hope they move some day.

Could you put in a yard decoration like a small windmill or such that would trigger their cameras every few minutes so they would turn camera in another direction or off.

 

[punkinhead]

Good grief, it's just a lonely old women who's maybe got some dementia. The bad neighbor in this scenario is the one who just shrugs off their dog getting loose. Being a hound has nothing to do with it (I've had four). A properly trained dog with a fence does not just get out. And in my area a casual attitude about it gets resolved with a suppressed .223 and a shovel. My rural neighbors don't tolerate random dogs harassing their children or livestock.

 

[rembrandt]

Good grief, it's just a lonely old women who's maybe got some dementia. The bad neighbor in this scenario is the one who just shrugs off their dog getting loose. Being a hound has nothing to do with it (I've had four). A properly trained dog with a fence does not just get out. And in my area a casual attitude about it gets resolved with a suppressed .223 and a shovel. My rural neighbors don't tolerate random dogs harassing their children or livestock.

Yes. Judge Judy has lots of cases about this subject. It does not go well for the dog owner.

 

[Aerides]

I like dogs, but, I do agree that friendly or not, a loose dog running on my property is not welcome. And friendly dogs can turn nasty quite easily when away from their owners.

And I won't quickly recognize them as many dogs can look quite similar, so without their owner and not on leash, I won't always go "oh that's just Fido from next door, no worries!"

 

[twirler]

Good grief, it's just a lonely old women who's maybe got some dementia. The bad neighbor in this scenario is the one who just shrugs off their dog getting loose. Being a hound has nothing to do with it (I've had four). A properly trained dog with a fence does not just get out. And in my area a casual attitude about it gets resolved with a suppressed .223 and a shovel. My rural neighbors don't tolerate random dogs harassing their children or livestock.

Well I’d hardly say I shrugged off the dog getting out. (It’s a very small dog) I mean it’s a beagle. They have been to obedience training, I’ve put 10k into a fence and worked with her for years. She was an abused dog who is a rescue. The law in our area is that the dog can run loose although we don’t encourage or allow this behavior. Second, you just admitted to being willing to commit act of animal cruelty. Which is a crime.

Why is it my problem to address this woman’s failing mental state? She drives a car, she goes places every day in public, she doesn’t appear frail. Where are her family and friends?

 

[twirler]

I like dogs, but, I do agree that friendly or not, a loose dog running on my property is not welcome. And friendly dogs can turn nasty quite easily when away from their owners.

And I won't quickly recognize them as many dogs can look quite similar, so without their owner and not on leash, I won't always go "oh that's just Fido from next door, no worries!"

Okay, yet again. The dog is a small beagle that has been to obedience training, we have invested 10k in a fence and I’ve worked with the dog for years.

The weird thing is she is obviously aware of who the dog is but then acts in conversation as though she doesn’t.

 

[twirler]

Yes. Judge Judy has lots of cases about this subject. It does not go well for the dog owner.

Well judge Judy doesn’t rule over the area where the laws are clear in my area where I live. Also you’d have to prove that I had negligence or willfully intent. And again, I’ve spend money on the fence she has been to training and I’ve worked with the dog for years so that would be a hard push.

 

[twirler]

OP- do you ever see any family or friends visiting this woman? I’m just wondering if anyone else has “eyes” on her in case she is exhibiting other odd behaviors to people who know her better.

I worked in social services for 35+ years including adult services.
There were times when we would get alerted to a seniors odd behaviors through family, friends, and casual acquaintances. One time it was through animal control.
I would probably call the local social services office and just say that you are concerned about her behavior and wonder if someone shouldn’t check in on her. Doesn’t mean that they will go out right away- but they should contact her in some way. Maybe they find out something maybe it’s just that she’s an odd person.

I know she has family out of state but that’s it. Due to her strange behavior I’ve done my best to avoid her. But, I really like your idea.

 

[Calico]

I'm truly surprised at the elderly people (that's most of us) that are suggesting restraining orders and other drastic things. I'd suggest to get to know her a bit better before doing anything drastic.
BTW we're all going to be lonely and might have dementia soon. Be kind.

I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, kindness seems to be in short supply these days.

 

[Calico]

That’s not how the law works in our area, “however we are not letting the dog out”. It has been taken to classes and trained, we worked with it for years. We have a fence that cost 10k around our property made of metal. It’s a hound. When hounds smell something they go for it. Up and over, ripping the fence apart of digging under it. It’s a rescue. If people don’t like dogs it usually means something about that person .

It has nothing to do with "liking" dogs. It's a question of accepting responsibility for your own animals.

If people don't control their dogs, and the dogs get loose and harass other people, it says something about the dog owner.

 

[Calico]

Well I’d hardly say I shrugged off the dog getting out. (It’s a very small dog) I mean it’s a beagle. They have been to obedience training, I’ve put 10k into a fence and worked with her for years. She was an abused dog who is a rescue. The law in our area is that the dog can run loose although we don’t encourage or allow this behavior. Second, you just admitted to being willing to commit act of animal cruelty. Which is a crime.

Why is it my problem to address this woman’s failing mental state? She drives a car, she goes places every day in public, she doesn’t appear frail. Where are her family and friends?

Obviously you do allow it, on at least two occasions you mentioned.

 

[twirler]

Obviously you do allow it, on at least two occasions you mentioned.

Is that obvious? She ate through a metal fence! Why so argumentative about this? You’ve no idea the lengths I’ve gone to care for this animal when no one else would. I think you are wildly incorrect.

 

[Calico]

The OP stated that they live in a "small town." I imagine it would be hard not to run into neighbors in random places, in that case. I seriously doubt they are being "followed" by their neighbor.

 

[twirler]

The OP stated that they live in a "small town." I imagine it would be hard not to run into neighbors in random places, in that case. I seriously doubt they are being "followed" by their neighbor.

What are you a bot? That’s what made it so obvious.

 

[aja8888]

Without ever meeting her in person, my guess is she is just lonely and maybe sliding into some form of dementia. Her actions, while not mainstream to you, appear to be pointing in that direction.

Hell, I'm 81, a lonely old widower, and not quite yet into following people around. But let me tell you, I have run into a few people like her, both female and male. And even some folks doing stranger stuff.

I have a 70 year old widow across the street who has around 8 cameras mounted around her place thinking the "Criminals" will be breaking in soon. And she has TWO security systems (both monitored). The police have been called for break-ins so many times, they know her by her first name (all false alarms). She still volunteers at the homeless shelter three times a week, and acts normal most times. She can "see" my house and periodically sends me a text that I have a package at my door. I just blow this stuff off.

 

[twirler]

Without ever meeting her in person, my guess is she is just lonely and maybe sliding into some form of dementia. Her actions, while not mainstream to you, appear to be pointing in that direction.

Hell, I'm 81, a lonely old widower, and not quite yet into following people around. But let me tell you, I have run into a few people like her, both female and male. And even some folks doing stranger stuff.

I have a 70 year old widow across the street who has around 8 cameras mounted around her place thinking the "Criminals" will be breaking in soon. And she has TWO security systems (both monitored). The police have been called for break-ins so many times, they know her by her first name (all false alarms). She still volunteers at the homeless shelter three times a week, and acts normal most times. She can "see" my house and periodically sends me a text that I have a package at my door. I just blow this stuff off.

Thank you for your insight, happy to hear this from someone your age. We will do our best to be compassionate. It’s just sometimes you want to walk with your spouse in the evening and recap the day.

After a few years of this it’s getting a little exhausting.

 

[Aerides]

Okay, yet again. The dog is a small beagle that has been to obedience training, we have invested 10k in a fence and I’ve worked with the dog for years.

The weird thing is she is obviously aware of who the dog is but then acts in conversation as though she doesn’t.

"Yet again?" Did I miss your earlier description? I only saw that you previously described the dog only as a hound and a rescue, not a "small beagle" so that might have changed some of the comments.

Either way, in general, dog getting loose and her notifying you is not an example of her being batty or intrusive.

Maybe just start to really limit your conversations with her. I have a neighbor on one side who wants to chat every time I walk by...so I go the other way.

 

[aja8888]

Thank you for your insight, happy to hear this from someone your age. We will do our best to be compassionate. It’s just sometimes you want to walk with your spouse in the evening and recap the day.

After a few years of this it’s getting a little exhausting.

Yes, I can understand the exhausting part.

With the lady across the street who, BTW, has no family anywhere nearby, and I have never seen any visitors to her place, she will start texting me on occasion about mostly nothing, and I send back short responses and eventually quit responding. She's a bit paranoid and clearly needs someone to talk with. But the younger neighbors (families, children) in this relatively new community are definitely not becoming "friends" with her and keep away.

One observation I have made since my wife died (22 months ago) and I elected to buy a smaller house in a new community, is that these communities are made up primarily of young families who have a much different set of needs and interests that us old older folks. I'm considering moving back to a 55+ senior community soon, although I really like it here and I don't seem to be bothering anyone. So maybe that neighbor of yours is really out of place there and it would do her good to find some friends her own age. I'm just speculating on this stuff as I'm an old engineer and not anyone who is qualified to evaluate human behavior.

But one thing to remember is that us old folks do not seem to have the same correct neurological brain cell alignments that we had when we were "hanging the moon in the sky". I find myself doing strange stuff occasionally that even surprises me.

 

[Al18]

Thanks for posting - good story. Sometimes old folks are just lonely and looking for someone to talk to. Go watch the movie ‘A Man Called Otto’ as an example

 

[Irishgirlyc58]

I know she has family out of state but that’s it. Due to her strange behavior I’ve done my best to avoid her. But, I really like your idea.

I would call and just state that you have had some strange encounters with her such as stepping in front of you while you are walking (if I'm remembering that correctly) and that she sometimes seems confused and that you are concerned that it appears that she has no visitors etc. so she could be in need of services and no one would know.
Trust me when I tell you that they receive similar reports all the time. Social services may just give her a call or stop by someday to chat with her. Again-not right away as this probably does not rise the level of emergency or immediate need. It's also possible that they already know her!

Good luck.
As a side note-we had beagles when I was growing up. I just love them but they are high maintenance.
Rescue dogs take that extra level of care and have probably learned survival techniques such as breaking out the backyard.
Both my neighbors on each side of me have had their dogs get out and into my backyard. One was high strung so I just went to the neighbors and told them the dog was in my backyard and not happy! Problem solved
Living in a small town-when we were kids and somebody's dog got out we would play with them and then walk them home.

 

[Texas Proud]

I just wonder what the OP can claim as a problem for a restraining order?

Has she threatened the OP? Not that I see... is she really harassing the OP? Not that I see... sure, making the OP upset at times but does it get to a harassment level?

I have seen on TV where someone was harassing a lady by flying his plane low over her house many times... and driving by her house all the time... cannot remember what else but it really was harassing... and I do not think she got a restraining order...