Thoughts on moving to 55plus community

[njhowie]

Some good points here. I have also considered that after a few weeks of probing, as soon as they find out I do not have kids, grand kids, or great grand kids I will be essentially ghosted. Most apartment type situations, in fact all of them, I have lived in, nobody knew anybody unless they had a pre-existing relationship. (relatives, worked at the same place etc) I suppose this situation could end up the same. Then I could just partake of whatever "activities" I think might be useful.

As far as you not wanting to know jack diddly about other people's kids, grand kids, and great grand kids - isn't that what friends talk about sometimes, their families?

Yes. I know.

I don't think you'd be ghosted, though you would likely have to periodically listen to talk about their families, as difficult as that might be. Similarly, whatever your hobbies are, or gets you excited, whether they are truly interested, they would be listening to you talk about it, show some interest, and get some level of satisfaction over your happiness in whatever it is that brings you enjoyment - again, because that's how friendships work. Who knows, maybe you'd hook up with someone who is in a similar situation and likewise has no desire to talk about their family?

I believe the model is to keep folks active, involved, and socializing - it's mentally and physically important and so they structure it accordingly.

In mom's scenario, though it was similar to apartment living from the physical layout, with indoor corridors, everyone knew everyone else near them. They all made a concerted effort to become friends with mom. I knew all of her neighbors as they quickly introduced themselves to me when I was moving mom's stuff in (and then again to offer condolences when I was moving her stuff out after she passed), were all outgoing and friendly, and were genuinely interested in getting mom involved. It was very collegial and communal. Now that I think of it, though there was one husband/wife next door to mom, all of the others in mom's wing were women on their own.

It's really good that you did go visit one now to see how they operate and get an idea if it might be a good fit for you in the future. With mom, we didn't have that option. We were flying by the seat of our pants in real time. Our biggest concern was if they had availability at the time we were checking it out. At least in NJ, this has become a very big business - catering to senior living. There are many, many 55+ active living communities being built. There is continually high demand and not enough supply, which is obviously why they are building so much more.

 

[Gotadimple]

Well, when I am at the point where unable to drive I might feel a bit vulnerable riding the subway.

Would Uber, Lyft and ultimately self driving cars not be a solution?

Certainly they can be if you have the finances to afford them.

Another alternative may be the local bus system that provides rides on demand. The cost is the same as the regular bus fare, but you are picked up and dropped off on demand within a set geographic area. In my neighborhood, I see younger folks without a car using this flexible system to get to and from work within the geographic boundaries. The issue for them is the local bus routes don't go near their work places.

 

[njhowie]

Well, when I am at the point where unable to drive I might feel a bit vulnerable riding the subway.

Would Uber, Lyft and ultimately self driving cars not be a solution?

Certainly they can be if you have the finances to afford them.

Another alternative may be the local bus system that provides rides on demand. The cost is the same as the regular bus fare, but you are picked up and dropped off on demand within a set geographic area. In my neighborhood, I see younger folks without a car using this flexible system to get to and from work within the geographic boundaries. The issue for them is the local bus routes don't go near their work places.

I think part of the issue with the (NYC) subway is that for most stations, you cannot count on the elevator/escalator from/to street level being in service, if there is one. So, it can be a bit of effort going down/up the stairs, especially during rush hours. If you are wheelchair bound, or require a walker, it's a big chance you take at each station. I'll always, always offer my seat to anyone who looks like they may need it or asks. When the trains are packed, others are not always very nice. Additionally, security is a bit of an issue with the subway. You generally only have the train driver and one conductor - they cannot assist if something happens in one of the cars where they aren't. Sometimes you have transit police roaming the trains, but it's the exception rather than the rule. On the bus (for example), you have the bus driver right there if anyone causes a problem.

Additionally, with the bus, you've only got a few steps to get on/off, most of the buses can lean/kneel, do have the wheelchair lifts, and the drivers I've seen are always extremely accommodating looking to make things easy for those passengers who require it.

DD lives in the city, doesn't have a drivers license and never learned how to drive. She doesn't even want to learn. She's lived in metropolitan locations since she's been away from home since she was 16, and is extremely comfortable using public transportation in conjunction with Uber/Lyft when the need arises. Even if Uber/Lyft charges come to $100 or $200/month, her total is still much less than the all-in costs of owning/operating/maintaining a car.

 

[Badger]

I have never taken the bus although I may give it a try one day since it is free for seniors in my area. I just have to walk a mile or more to get to the bus stop which may be an issue for me. Maybe other cities/towns have similar senior plans.

 

[Koolau]

I have never taken the bus although I may give it a try one day since it is free for seniors in my area. I just have to walk a mile or more to get to the bus stop which may be an issue for me. Maybe other cities/towns have similar senior plans.

We are blessed with a great bus system. Learning the routs isn't easy, but buses go virtually anyplace on the Island. AND for seniors, it's a pittance for an unlimited pass. I could save a lot of money by ditching my car and using the bus, but my car is my BTD for right now.

Many people (especially seniors and those in 55+ communities) depend totally on the bus system and the handy van.

 

[sakowitzm]

I agree with all the positive comments about an active adult 55+ community. Couldn't be happier. It's like summer camp for folks of a certain age. Just one caveat. It's best to buy/move when the community is under development. At that time, everyone is looking to establish new friendships, and everyone introduces themselves to everyone else, and community/bonding happens. Once the community is established, perhaps it's not so easy for new folks to blend in? I can't speak to that, but I do know it was easy/good for us.

 

[Joseph]

I agree with all the positive comments about an active adult 55+ community. Couldn't be happier. It's like summer camp for folks of a certain age. Just one caveat. It's best to buy/move when the community is under development. At that time, everyone is looking to establish new friendships, and everyone introduces themselves to everyone else, and community/bonding happens. Once the community is established, perhaps it's not so easy for new folks to blend in? I can't speak to that, but I do know it was easy/good for us.

I am sure everyone will have their cliques if you buy 10 yrs in. Probably be a bunch of people very welcoming too
Sorta like going to high school or college.

 

[audreyh1]

Honestly, there is plenty of turnover in our neighborhood so plenty of new people seeking new friendships and established residents losing old friends so cliques aren’t solid.

 

[Original Wally]

We’re very happy in our 55+ community even though we don’t participate in the heavy social winter season. So no loss of privacy socially as it’s entirely voluntary.

We have a small lot and houses are close together, that’s some loss of privacy but I appreciate the quiet neighborhood, lack of vehicular traffic, safety in walking the neighborhood, and landscaping included in HOA fees. And the way the houses are designed you don’t see your immediate neighbors anyway.

We didn’t have to pay a buy in price. Our HOA fees including yard maintenance is ~$175 per month but we also live in a very low COL area in way south Texas even though it’s a fairly upscale community.

We too. Downsized 5 years ago into a 55+ community just north of Sacramento. DW LOVES the activities" Pickle ball, Bocce, Water Volleyball, etc. Our dues are $306 but that DOES include the 25,000 sq ft clubhouse. Indoor pool, outdoor pool, two spas, COMPLETE gym, a small pub and more clubs than it is possible to list. PRETTY laid back - NONE of the HOA horror stories. Best durn decision we made.

 

[Happyras]

Sorry to open a recently dead thread, but I realized I had to thank everyone for what they shared. The comments are still current and I re-read all of them. As life moves on this decision becomes more pressing. This month a close neighbor and friend passed leaving his wife with a mess of financial decisions. He was 68. They recently started a food truck business and invested in building a commercial kitchen business. We all help her with what we can, but it points out the uncertainty of life which can change well laid plans so quickly. She would be so much better off if they lived in the 55+, and she was considering a move to one in SC near Charleston. With his passing, and now the financial issues, she does not have that option.

I believe our best course is to keep our property, as pointed out, it could be rented for FMV or perfect for DD1 and grands with a quasi triple net lease to them. We do not need the cash flow, but that would satisfy the fairness issue with DD2. Since posting this thread, we gifted a rental to them both, which they sold together.

DD1 had a large debt to pay off, and DD2 just stuffed her 1/4 million in a bank, so both are doing fine.

We are getting more serious about moving to a 55+ up the street in Trilogy as discussed. Now we are arguing on size. DW says the 3360 sqft home (about $2M) is too big, but the trim is nicer. Most homes are 1200 to 2400 sqft ($1M to $1.8M). I guess my thought is to wait for a nice rambler with a lot of wear, buy low as we can and I can remodel it before moving in. To me that is ideal, as most homes I have lived in were either designed and built by me or remodeled to suit. It is odd the much larger homes sell for marginally more than the average 2bd/2bath ramblers. I can see the demand both due to price and upkeep. Being on a golf course would have its issues, but some homes back up on greenbelts instead and would be a better choice to me for privacy and random shanks into the roof/siding. Again, I welcome your thoughts. I know some here are also considering Trilogy in Redmond Ridge, maybe they already bought there?

 

[ivinsfan]

I don't understand your DD2's position and objection?

If it's financial then...um...ugh. As a DD1 myself, the only answer is "if you'll be happy and healthy then that's what I want for you!"

We have 2 DD and our position is anything we plan to do estate wise is first discussed in person with both of them present. Each DD would have thoughts on this subject. In fact saying you are doing something for the grandkids leaves DD2 in a difficult position as far as actually saying what she thinks about it. Yes it feels like playing favorites

 

[Happyras]

We are actually focused on the grands, that is true. Selfishly wanting them to be closer, as moving down there way is not in anyway desirable due to their location/traffic. The schools system here is top rated in the state.

That said, we have over supported DD2. We bought them their home ( in the guise of a mortgage note to keep it recorded under certain terms). Whereas, DD1 we paid a substantial amount for their home, which required major repairs I have done. It was a bank repo, lowest price home in a higher end older development.

We had a nice visit with all the family together last night at a local family/ dog friendly brewery and my DD1 did raise their concern over fairness or perception of DD2, so those egg shells need attention!

 

[CaliKid]

We live in a Trilogy community in Las Vegas. Here's a recent post from one of my friends on the community bulletin board. We love living in a 55+ and this post, to me, summarizes a pretty amazing lifestyle that we enjoy here! He said:

"Trilogy is such a fun place to live.

Thursday was a typical day. Yesterday I played pickle ball between 7 am and 9 am.

Then some gym time where mostly I talked with friends.

Then our huge bowling league between 12 pm and 2 pm where I bowled poorly but lost my voice laughing and cheering on about 40 or 50 friends.

Finally I attended men’s night out with another 20 friends where we saw some football and baseball games while we all got to know each other a little better

Home by 7 and ready for more fun today

LOVE THIS COMMUNITY"

 

[ShokWaveRider]

We live in a Trilogy community in Las Vegas. Here's a recent post from one of my friends on the community bulletin board. We love living in a 55+ and this post, to me, summarizes a pretty amazing lifestyle that we enjoy here!

Which one?

 

[CaliKid]

Which one?

Summerlin.

 

[sakowitzm]

We live in a Trilogy community in Las Vegas. Here's a recent post from one of my friends on the community bulletin board. We love living in a 55+ and this post, to me, summarizes a pretty amazing lifestyle that we enjoy here! He said:

"Trilogy is such a fun place to live.

Thursday was a typical day. Yesterday I played pickle ball between 7 am and 9 am.

Then some gym time where mostly I talked with friends.

Then our huge bowling league between 12 pm and 2 pm where I bowled poorly but lost my voice laughing and cheering on about 40 or 50 friends.

Finally I attended men’s night out with another 20 friends where we saw some football and baseball games while we all got to know each other a little better

Home by 7 and ready for more fun today

LOVE THIS COMMUNITY"

I feel pretty much the same way about my community - Carter's Mill in Haymarket, VA. It's summer camp for old folks.

 

[Badger]

I have looked into some of the 55+ communities and like some of what they have to offer. Maybe when I am more health challenged I will consider one. Presently I enjoy living in a paid for house with a back yard and a 2 car garage that is essentially my "go to" place to tinker on projects. For me more than any other feature about owning a house is the comfort of having a yard (and a yard service to take care of it) and the garage to escape to.

 

[Earl E Retyre]

On the one hand, it would be nice to be in a neighborhood where no one works and there are activities to do. The issue is that we are about 10 years younger than the median age so do not think we’d want that. Maybe in 5-10 years.

 

[CaliKid]

I have looked into some of the 55+ communities and like some of what they have to offer. Maybe when I am more health challenged I will consider one. Presently I enjoy living in a paid for house with a back yard and a 2 car garage that is essentially my "go to" place to tinker on projects. For me more than any other feature about owning a house is the comfort of having a yard (and a yard service to take care of it) and the garage to escape to.

I would say a 55+, or anyplace with small lots/garages, is not perfect for everybody. I definitely miss having a 3 car garage myself! I am not a tinkerer so don't need a yard or shop or anything like that.

On the one hand, it would be nice to be in a neighborhood where no one works and there are activities to do. The issue is that we are about 10 years younger than the median age so do not think we’d want that. Maybe in 5-10 years.

You might be surprised the actual demographics. In particular, new 55+ communities skew younger. In our state 80% of residents have to be 55+, a spouse/significant other can always be under 55, and in our neighborhood the CCRs provided that initial purchasers only needed to be 50. So, in our neighborhood there are tons of people in their 50's. Many people still work full or part time so it's really a mix. Not everybody is living the country club lifestyle all day every day. I don't know your age so no clue where you would fit but if you are in your 50's I'd encourage looking at a new 55+ as you might be surprised!

 

[Koolau]

I would say a 55+, or anyplace with small lots/garages, is not perfect for everybody. I definitely miss having a 3 car garage myself! I am not a tinkerer so don't need a yard or shop or anything like that.



You might be surprised the actual demographics. In particular, new 55+ communities skew younger. In our state 80% of residents have to be 55+, a spouse/significant other can always be under 55, and in our neighborhood the CCRs provided that initial purchasers only needed to be 50. So, in our neighborhood there are tons of people in their 50's. Many people still work full or part time so it's really a mix. Not everybody is living the country club lifestyle all day every day. I don't know your age so no clue where you would fit but if you are in your 50's I'd encourage looking at a new 55+ as you might be surprised!

We've looked at several 55+ communities and the economics just don't w*rk for us. Shading everything in favor of the 55+ community ("charging" myself opportunity costs for the value of our current condo, NOT counting the equity growth of the condo, adding HOA dues and interior maintenance) I still come out a $grand/month better in our condo - and the view is better. We entertain ourselves so don't need the very good programs at most 55+ communities. I have no "knock" against 55+ communities, but (for us) I'm just not there on the value for the cost. I'm sure they w*rk very well for a lot of people - just not us at this point. YMMV

 

[YB88]

We are getting more serious about moving to a 55+ up the street in Trilogy as discussed. Now we are arguing on size. DW says the 3360 sqft home (about $2M) is too big, but the trim is nicer. Most homes are 1200 to 2400 sqft ($1M to $1.8M). I guess my thought is to wait for a nice rambler with a lot of wear, buy low as we can and I can remodel it before moving in. To me that is ideal, as most homes I have lived in were either designed and built by me or remodeled to suit. It is odd the much larger homes sell for marginally more than the average 2bd/2bath ramblers. I can see the demand both due to price and upkeep. Being on a golf course would have its issues, but some homes back up on greenbelts instead and would be a better choice to me for privacy and random shanks into the roof/siding. Again, I welcome your thoughts. I know some here are also considering Trilogy in Redmond Ridge, maybe they already bought there?

My wife and I are closing on a house at Trilogy at Redmond Ridge and will move there at the end of the year --- looking forward to it.
We had a lot of the same concerns. If you're looking for something on the small end of the home models, these seem to come up pretty frequently, especially if you're not too picky about where you live w.r.t the clubhouse, on a corner or busier street, or adjacent to golf course (or not) or woods. The biggest houses like you say are pretty big and expensive; they come up less frequently. My sense is that for those that are comfortable affording it the Hemlock model is a sort of sweet spot. One thing to factor in is that when you look at the floor plans for different models, a larger house can look similar to a smaller one, but the rooms are bigger. We're finding that there's plenty of square footage, but limited built-in storage space, unless previous owners did some remodeling in that way. Lots of issues to consider.

I was a bit surprised to be in a minor bidding war for the house we got given the time of year --- not a traditional busy time for real estate.
I think that Trilogy (here at least) can be somewhat independent of regular real estate forces. People who have the money and want to live in a nice house without stairs gravitate there --- not many 'ramblers' on the market anymore. I was told that some people from out of state or out of country move there because one of their kids works at Microsoft, another sort of competition for the number of houses that sell each year.

The community has only been around for 20 years or so, so there's a limit on how much "a lot of wear" you're likely to find. And note that if you do opt to remodel before moving in, consider the hoops to jump through to get HOA approval for even minor issues if they're exterior to your house, sometimes to include stuff that's not visible from the street.

Obviously I can only speak as someone who is going to be living there, but it all feels very nice to me (and note that neither my wife nor I golf). Everyone we've met has been positive, just walking around talking to people also out for a walk --- when multiple random residents come across almost as members of the marketing team it's a good sign.

 

[Happyras]

My wife and I are closing on a house at Trilogy at Redmond Ridge and will move there at the end of the year --- looking forward to it.
.......

Obviously I can only speak as someone who is going to be living there, but it all feels very nice to me (and note that neither my wife nor I golf). Everyone we've met has been positive, just walking around talking to people also out for a walk --- when multiple random residents come across almost as members of the marketing team it's a good sign.

I got that feeling the other day, we chatted with a few folks walking and in the club house, all good. I asked our maids today if they did any homes in Trilogy, and yes the do 5 homes there. She said the area is amazing and very nice place for us. Obviously, we would take our maids up on working there for us! PM me if you need someone, but they are pretty popular.

I have the floor plans for Trilogy and my friend/agent thinks the Vancouver model is a good fit. You mentioned the Hemlock, and I kick myself not buying the Monticello in Feb this year, but I really like that Hemlock model, is that what you bought? I will PM you to collaborate a bit.....

 

[livingalmostlarge]

Thanks for the thread. It has been eye opening. I want my mom to do something like this and move into a 55 and older community but who knows. She's pretty young and active and widowed now. And honestly as her only kid I'm a bit worried. She's a very social person and I'm hopeful that she launches well. 2024 has been rough and I do not want to push or press any ideas. I want her to want to do it. But it's a good thread hearing all the pros and cons.

 

[athena53]

I also appreciate this thread. I'm 71 and looking to move to Des Moines in the second half of 2026- DS is my only child and he, DDIL and the 3 kids are firmly rooted there. There's a separate discussion on CCRCs and I'm a bit too risk-averse for that move. For one thing, I may or may not need LTC. Mom died at 85 of a recurrence of breast cancer she chose not to treat; Dad did spend 18 months in LTC after a stroke and died at age 89. I've also read of CCRCs that move residents elsewhere when their LTC facilities don't have any open spaces. I want maximum flexibility. If the quality of a place deteriorates I don't want to feel like I'm stuck there.

I just made an appointment to visit Deerfield in Des Moines 12/17. Scary.

 

[livingalmostlarge]

What is the difference between a ccrc and assisted living or indepdendent living? Is it dependent on the place and how it defines it?

Wow I just looked up deerfield i had no idea such things existed. So nice.