'Tis the season of reconciliation

BrianB

Recycles dryer sheets
Joined
Jul 21, 2011
Messages
374
Location
Minneapolis
A month ago, in the midst of an intra-family dispute, I said some very cruel & hurtful things to my brother-in-law. They live an hour away and I haven’t talked to him since and it’s been bothering me.

Today we’re stuck in the apartment with a half foot of new snow and since he’s retired I thought he would be at home, too. I summoned up the courage to call him – not an easy thing for me to do.

I told him that what I said was completely out of line, I was truly sorry, and I hoped that he would forgive me so we could start to mend the rift.

His answer really surprised me. He said that he wasn’t angry and that he was actually relieved that I had called. It had been weighing on him, too. We ended the call on a much happier note. I feel such a sense of relief and my nagging conscience is already starting to heal.

So, if you’ve hurt someone there is no better time than right now to start to make it right. You need it as much as they do.

Merry Christmas!

BrianB
 
That's very inspirational Brian. Thank you for sharing.
 
BrianB said:
So, if you’ve hurt someone there is no better time than right now to start to make it right. You need it as much as they do.

+100. You absolutely did the right thing. It shouldn't be, but it's hard to admit when you're wrong - but it's the only way to clear the air. We all make mistakes, it's how you handle it from there that matters.

I have seen good friends part ways because they were both too stubborn to even talk to each other after whatever came between them, much less reconcile. And they both missed the relationship, but neither would act - men are usually worse at this than others. Totally unnecessary, life's too short to miss out on any worthwhile relationship.

Well done Brian.
 
The burden of carrying anger and resentment is very aging to the heart and your health.
Forgiveness to self and others lightens the load. It is not always easy, but so very necessary.
I get that there are circumstances where one may feel unable to forgive, I believe carrying that anger/anguish is more of a burden to that person than anything.
Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean forgetting, but it does allow you to move forward.
Forgiving can be extremely difficult, however, when you forgive, you will have a lightness to your heart. (I believe).
 
So glad that your Bil accepted your apology. Sometimes we all make mistakes but it’s hard to ask for forgiveness. You did the right thing!!
 
I agree this is a good time of year for this sort of thing. I gave it a try this week but was rebuffed. I've left the door open in case the other party needs more time.
 
Our family on complete opposite sides of many issues. We disagree, say hurtful snarky things, judge each other but also cry together, celebrate at least 4 times a year together...anything, graduations, holidays, vacation together. I've come to the conclusion accept another for who they are if you want to be in their life. And hope they accept you for who you are. We are opinionated, protective and will support no matter what. And I'm including drug use, alcohol, bad decisions, chronic illness, political polar opposites. I feel in a constant state of forgiveness, everyday. And a constant state of hoping to be forgiven everyday. We are a close family, big family and friends. How else can you be happy? Ebb and flow, ups and downs, that's what relationships are. Accept that and you will never be lonely.
 
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