TO PAY FOR CHILD'S COLLEGE OR NOT?

[mistermike40]

We paid for our children's undergraduate degree, but they worked each summer and put that money towards college.

I paid for my own education (including quite a few years of paying back three loans after graduation), but like others have said college wasn't nearly as expensive in the late 70's/early 80's as it is today.

 

[MrBojangles]

I can't say how. i don't think there is a formal definition of "prestigious private school". Those were my words. I just looked and they are currently in the top-20 nationwide in engineering. I'd consider them pretty good. As for my dorm mates, Again I saw the parties going on and the lack of homework being done in the dorm rooms. That is possibly due to being 1st semester students away from home for the first time in their lives.

A prestigious school is one in which the working class has to work really hard for in able to achieve and afford to be able to attend, and only a small percentage of those individuals will actually be able to attend meanwhile reserving enough spaces for the kids who will party and waste their parent’s money so that they can continue to receive donations from those wealthy families which is just another way of saying these kids bought their way in.

 

[brett]

Post secondary/university changed my life in many ways. I am so very thankful for it.

I am not certain that my daugher and husband will have the resources to make the university decision for children easy for their children. We do not want there to be any impediments to those decisions. We are fortunate to have the resources to eliminate this financial impediment. . Our wills reflect that should we pass prior.

We are not assuming that our grandchildren will waste their time, party contunuously, and flunk out. If they do what is our loss. One years subsidy. Their loss is considerably more and it will be on them, not us.

Nor are we assuming that they will not have part time jobs, or somehow becasue we are paying the freight pr that their attitudes will change. Or they will somehow become uncaring, entitled brats.

We are assuming the best of each of them. That IF they wish to pursue their goals and ambitions in undergrad or grad studies that this will be our lasting legacy to them, and in some ways to their parents. We are not out to teach them a lesson, just to help them move forward with their lives. There is nothing more to it than that.

It has far more to do with all the reasons why we should do this vs. the reasons why we should not.

 

[Trailwalker]

We set aside $80,000 for my daughter (four years of tuition and living expenses at an urban public university). She decided to study a semester abroad in Shanghai, so she didn't finish on time. She is paying us back for that semester over an extended period of time

We paid four years of tuition for my son, who was severely disabled. SSI paid his room and board in the dorms. He had four years of the college experience but did not complete his degree due to the worsening of his progressive condition and eventual passing away.

The investment in my kids' education was well worth it to us.

 

[youbet]

That's why 1st and 2nd semester students have anywhere from 20 to 50% drop out/cut rate. IOW the prestigious (and the also-rans) don't keep poor students. Haven't you heard of "flunk-out" courses? Prestige isn't harmed by flunking out the students who aren't "into" it.

But their admissions policy and process must be pretty lax if 20% - 50% of entering students do not make it to their sophomore year. You would think they could predict student success more accurately than that.

 

[youbet]

Regarding costs.........

When I started college in 1965 at a private, highly regarded school, room and board + tuition was $1,850.00 per year. At that time, a good starting offer for graduates was $8k - $10k. So, likely your first year of employment exceeded the cost of four years of attendance if you were in a higher paying major.

Today, that same school charges $60k for room and board + tuition. Starting salaries are from $45k to $80k depending on major, etc. Quite a change in the ratio of total four year cost to starting salary!

 

[pjigar]

We had an implicit understanding with DD that we pay for everything related education as long as it is a productive degree, not one of those "follow your passion" degree. She has to maintain certain GPA and submit transcript to us every semester for the funds to keep flowing. She wanted to go into med school so we put another requirements that bachelor degree has to be done in an in-state college. Future plan is to pay for any med school in the country if she gets an admission. We are in the camp that if you can afford it then pay for kids' college. It gives them a huge leg up.

 

[youbet]

We paid for DS's total billed cost of attending an out-of-state public university where he majored in Mech Eng and graduated. He wound up being a full co-op working every other semester for a large chemical company. That pay more than covered his books, spending money and a car and the related expenses of owning the car. He was also able to start an investment account. It did take five years to complete his BS due to co-op'ing but I think it was worth it.

We started ESA's and 529b's for his three kids at birth. Those funded their post secondary educations (one MSEEE and two in process) with plenty to spare. About two-thirds of the grand kids' educational expenses were met with earnings on their educational accounts and about one-third on the principal we contributed. I was very pleased with that. I kept them aggressively invested until shortly before they needed the money, a risk that in our case paid off.

I'm now working out our plans for the 529b account balances to fund their Roth IRA's for their first five years of employment. That's a great new rule for folks, like us, who over did it with 529b contributions!

We were fortunate that we haven't needed any type of contract or agreement with any of the three grand kids regarding conditions on how the money was to be doled out and used. Their parents seem to have done a fine job motivating them in directions I agree with. Admittedly, I hand the money to the parents to handle the bills not to the grand kids directly. So, there may be some strings I'm not privy to.

 

[pb4uski]

That's why 1st and 2nd semester students have anywhere from 20 to 50% drop out/cut rate. IOW the prestigious (and the also-rans) don't keep poor students. Haven't you heard of "flunk-out" courses? Prestige isn't harmed by flunking out the students who aren't "into" it.

Yup. I attended one of the top accounting schools. At our first AC101 lecture, the professor started with the old look at the students to your left and to your right and it is unlikely that they will still be around when you graduate in 4 years. He was spot on.

P.S. His small yacht was named General Ledger and the dinghy was named Subsidiary Ledger.

At our school, Intermediate Accounting I, usually taken in the fall of your sophomore year, seemed to be the course that separated the wheat from the chaff and resulted in a lot of changes in majors. I enjoyed it and ended up teaching it at community college more than a decade later.

 

[pb4uski]

A prestigious school is one in which the working class has to work really hard for in able to achieve and afford to be able to attend, and only a small percentage of those individuals will actually be able to attend meanwhile reserving enough spaces for the kids who will party and waste their parent’s money so that they can continue to receive donations from those wealthy families which is just another way of saying these kids bought their way in.

Pretty jaded view and not at all correct in my experience.

 

[pb4uski]

Regarding costs.........

When I started college in 1965 at a private, highly regarded school, room and board + tuition was $1,850.00 per year. At that time, a got od starting offer for graduates was $8k - $10k. So, likely your first year of employment exceeded the cost of four years of attendance if you were in a higher paying major.

Today, that same school charges $60k for room and board + tuition. Starting salaries are from $45k to $80k depending on major, etc. Quite a change in the ratio of total four year cost to starting salary!

Interested way of looking at it. When I graduated, starting salaries were about equal to one year of tuition, room & board. When DD graduated, it was simiiar as I recall.

According to google, starting salaries are about the same as a year of tuition, room and board at DD's alma mater and about 85% of tuition, room and board at my alma mater.

 

[MrBojangles]

Pretty jaded view and not at all correct in my experience.

How do you see it then? I saw private, elite school as not in the cards in my socioeconomic background but I worked some summers doing landscaping for folks of means whose kids or grandkids had it easy at theee private schools because of donations/family money and still managed to screw it up.

 

[rk911]

I'm retired and, usually, in no hurry. I missed an appointment with my primary. I apologized. No repercussions or fines.

 

[SecretlyFI]

My son is graduating next week and just landed a job with a starting salary equal to 3 out of 4 years cost for his tuition, fees, room & board. We happily paid for all of it the last four years and told him his job is to do the work and our job is to make everything around that as low-stress as possible for him. He kept his head down all 4 years, no partying, no mishaps. 3.7 GPA, magna cum laude, and as I told him recently, he’s making all my dreams for him come true.

Oh, and we may have gifted him some stock from our joint brokerage as a graduation/job gift too…. After a few speechless minutes when I texted him that screenshot, he said “but you already did everything for me!” Melted my heart.

 

[youbet]

I'm retired and, usually, in no hurry. I missed an appointment with my primary. I apologized. No repercussions or fines.

Is this post on the thread you thought it was being posted on?

 

[youbet]

no partying

That's a little extreme IMO.

 

[SecretlyFI]

That's a little extreme IMO.

Well, he knew from the beginning that his employment, and in fact, his clinical course work and externships the last 2 years hinged on clean drug tests. So he took it very seriously. And when he found himself at a friend’s place where they were smoking weed, when he had a drug screening coming up the next day, he quickly left and postponed the Lapcorp appt. If you fail one of those it’s a hard stop and you’re out of the program.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I'm a bit jaded because 45 years ago I wanted to go to college in the worst way. I was a high school honor student living on my parents farm. I was told by my father to "Shut up and stay on the farm and help. We got to get this paid for before anyone goes anywhere!" He had 27 years to go on his 30 year mortgage and I was figured in as zero cost labor for the duration... There wasn't a nickle to go to college and if I went on my own there wasn't a place to go back home to. If I left it was for good and don't come home. I stayed and was miserable. Dad got his farm paid for about 20 years later and I was finally free. Then he gave it all to my older brother. I had to start on my own after all.

Looking back, I wish I had joined the military, spent my time and gotten a college degree and realized that there is life outside of dad's farm. Plus, they pay you. I would have been free from family control and had my own money to live on.

I managed to do OK with the cards I was dealt, but if I had it over again I would have joined the Navy the day I graduated high school.

 

[youbet]

Well, he knew from the beginning that his employment, and in fact, his clinical course work and externships the last 2 years hinged on clean drug tests. So he took it very seriously. And when he found himself at a friend’s place where they were smoking weed, when he had a drug screening coming up the next day, he quickly left and postponed the Lapcorp appt. If you fail one of those it’s a hard stop and you’re out of the program.

That doesn't sound like "no partying." It sounds more like not doing drugs at parties. "No partying," as you put it originally, sounds like an extreme. I think a balanced social life is an important part of the on-campus college experience.

"Partying" is not really a synonym for "smoking and shooting up." So, you confused me with your statement.

 

[Exchme]

My folks paid for part of our college. We paid for four years of our kids' college, though one earned a scholarship, so got the residual money we had set aside. We've put some into a 529 for our only grandchild.

We see it as a way to give the kids and grand kids a head start in the world.

 

[CalBird]

I feel I have the obligation to give them the college education, as my parents did for me. Beyond that they are on their own.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

We decided to give each child $60k for higher education when they graduated from high school instead of handing them $60k each on top of a pile (100 times larger) when we die. They could use it now and won't notice the difference when we die. They are not spoiled and have made their way well in the world, despite the $60 head start.

 

[Texas Proud]

Others may disagree (or agree) but what I consider one of my better achievements in life is making sure my 4 stepchildren left college debt free. While they all worked part time to have spending money. tuition, books, lodging and meals were paid by their mothers and me.

I will disagree a bit... and some of this came from one of my sisters...

I allocated a certain amount of money for them to get a 4 year degree... it was enough to do so if you wanted... you would have to live in some cheaper apts that were a bit farther away but there were many buses to and from them all day and night... but I did not follow the spending.. IOW, they are an adult and I just sent them a monthly amount and they could spend it anyway they choose... this was from my sister... do not try and control their lives by paying for this and not for that...

DD did not want to do this... she wanted to live near her friends whose parents paid big money for where they lived... I warned her she would run out of money...

The good news is she is graduating early and will only have to fund 3 months of expenses, but she did get some federal loans along the way...

 

[Koolau]

But their admissions policy and process must be pretty lax if 20% - 50% of entering students do not make it to their sophomore year. You would think they could predict student success more accurately than that.

At the time I applied for university, state supported schools had to let virtually anyone in who were in the the top 1/3 of their HS class - if there was room. SO, there were tons of Freshmen every year.

By year's end, about half were gone. Amazingly, if you were in the top 1/3 of HS class, you COULD pass your first year IF you chose the right school within the university. C+ math students were not a good fit for engineering (amazing how many C+ math students tried).

BUT C+ math students (like my big sister) might excel in, for instance, Journalism (she could read 800 words per minute with perfect comprehension - she just couldn't do math). She was always on the Dean's List.

 

[pjigar]

... told him his job is to do the work and our job is to make everything around that as low-stress as possible for him.

Same story for us. We told DD that her job is to study, get good grades, get job experience in her domain, etc. while she is in college. Everything else is our job. She is doing a fine job at all her "jobs" so far. Pre-med gets tense at times but so far she is chugging along.