TO PAY FOR CHILD'S COLLEGE OR NOT?

[brett]

Yup. I attended one of the top accounting schools. At our first AC101 lecture, the professor started with the old look at the students to your left and to your right and it is unlikely that they will still be around when you graduate in 4 years. He was spot on.

P.S. His small yacht was named General Ledger and the dinghy was named Subsidiary Ledger.

At our school, Intermediate Accounting I, usually taken in the fall of your sophomore year, seemed to be the course that separated the wheat from the chaff and resulted in a lot of changes in majors. I enjoyed it and ended up teaching it at community college more than a decade later.

In my first university accounting class, 101, we were told on day one that the failure rate in the course was 45 percent. And it was. Intermediate was better.

Dido for the consolidation course. 48 percent failure rate.

Credits by the window, debits by the door! Who has hear that at some point?

 

[pb4uski]

... Credits by the window, debits by the door! Who has hear that at some point?

Did that saying impact the architectural design of accounting classrooms?

 

[street]

I am in the minority and let the child pay their own way. They will want it more and can find their way to pay for college. I believe it does more harm then good paying for school and many others things.
I have always been there as a backstop if things need a helping hand. I paid my way through my son paid for 95% of tis college and it didn't hurt him and it made him a better manager of life and learned the dollars means something.

 

[tulak]

I was more than happy to pay for both kids undergraduate degree. It worked out well for both, but even if it didn’t, I knew I did all I could to help them get started in life.

 

[CO-guy]

A prestigious school is one in which the working class has to work really hard for in able to achieve and afford to be able to attend, and only a small percentage of those individuals will actually be able to attend meanwhile reserving enough spaces for the kids who will party and waste their parent’s money so that they can continue to receive donations from those wealthy families which is just another way of saying these kids bought their way in.

I attended a prestigious school and disagree completely with this assessment. Most 'prestigious' universities have need and merit based scholarship programs to ensure that high-achieving students from modest backgrounds are able to attend. That was the case for the vast majority of my college friends.

"Legacy" admissions, like applicants from wealthy families, often don't have financial needs, but they still need to meet minimum entry requirements for the university. In short, Van Wilder isn't based on reality.

 

[CO-guy]

To the OP's question, my god-daughter is one of the most incredible people I've ever met. Her father, my closest childhood friend, is not a man of means, and raised her as a single parent for most of her life.

In spite of their financial struggles, my god-daughter achieved extraordinary academic success. She accepted an offer to attend a prestigious private university "tuition free." In addition, she was awarded a scholarship by the government in the country she's from that was sufficient to pay for room, board, books, and whatever else she wanted since her tuition was free. There were other scholarships and awards as well, which she invested and is now using to pay for graduate school. Even the national airline gave her 4 years of unlimited free flights so that she could come home anytime she wanted.

Despite the fact that she was without any wants during college, I still gave my closest friend a large sum of money to put towards his ability to care for her while she was at school. To pay for his plane tickets and hotels for parent's weekend, or just because she missed him.

Long story short, if you are able to prevent those you love from needing to take out loans in order to pay for school, then I would consider it money well spent.

 

[Koolau]

Long story short, if you are able to prevent those you love from needing to take out loans in order to pay for school, then I would consider it money well spent.

There can be strategic reasons to allow loved ones to pay/borrow for school. I mentioned that we subsequently helped pay off the loans once school was in the bag. YMMV

 

[CO-guy]

There can be strategic reasons to allow loved ones to pay/borrow for school. I mentioned that we subsequently helped pay off the loans once school was in the bag. YMMV

Agreed, but whether it's during or after that you're helping to pay, it's money well spent.

 

[Texas Proud]

I attended a prestigious school and disagree completely with this assessment. Most 'prestigious' universities have need and merit based scholarship programs to ensure that high-achieving students from modest backgrounds are able to attend. That was the case for the vast majority of my college friends.

"Legacy" admissions, like applicants from wealthy families, often don't have financial needs, but they still need to meet minimum entry requirements for the university. In short, Van Wilder isn't based on reality.

But... but... even then it might be more expensive going there than not... my DS got accepted to a 'prestigious' university even though I did not want him to apply as I thought it would be too expensive...

Well, guess what... even with what seemed like a good scholarship it was more expensive than the 'prestigious' state school... IIRC it was 50% off, but that still was more than 2X state...

He has graduated and is doing very well in his career... the 'prestigious' university did not make a difference...

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I've seen disasters on both sides.

I've had classmates who were confident in 7th grade that they would get into the best private college in the state. Their parents told them so. Their grandparents were benefactors and they had a "Legacy" position in next year's class, if that's the right word. Big old church affiliated (Catholic and Protestant) schools with a hefty endowment for alumni children. Us B students need not apply. These classmates think they hit a triple when they were born on third base.

I've also seen brilliant young people who never considered college because their family needed them at home to help with the family business or farm. No help offered or encouraged since the family needed you at home.

I admire my classmates who didn't have any family support, and joined the US Armed Services. If I was myself 40 years ago that is what I would have done.

 

[TickTock]

These classmates think they hit a triple when they were born on third base.

I've seen that analogy before and I like it.

DF was born into a lower-middle class family, was the first to attend and graduate college (engineering degree), and retired comfortably a bit shy of 65 (company-provided healthcare plan, well before ACA).

So I was born into a middle- to upper-middle class family (who LBYM and did not 'keep up with the Jonses'). I consider that I started on second base - but I try to remember that.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I've seen that analogy before and I like it.

DF was born into a lower-middle class family, was the first to attend and graduate college (engineering degree), and retired comfortably a bit shy of 65 (company-provided healthcare plan, well before ACA).

So I was born into a middle- to upper-middle class family (who LBYM and did not 'keep up with the Jonses'). I consider that I started on second base - but I try to remember that.

You may have been born on second base, but you recognized it and I'll bet you didn't get picked off by stretching a lead. Then you scored when you had the opportunity. That is the opportunity and recognition I want to give to my children. Thank you.

 

[Koolau]

Agreed, but whether it's during or after that you're helping to pay, it's money well spent.

We figured that "after" is money better spent. IOW skin in the game on the part of the student. YMMV

 

[gamboolman]

We paid for both of our kids College. Glad to have done it and no regrets.

I will say that it was very expensive.

I started working Oversea's the year before our Son started college and thus we were able to do it with cash monies.

We could not have done it if I had not gone International.

Lifes A Dance and You Learn As You Go....

 

[Stormy Kromer]

Back to paying for kid's college. I would feel like a fine horse's behind if I didn't pay for our children's education, when I had the money at the time, only to leave them a bigger pile of money in my will years down the line when they don't need it anymore.

I think this is especially true when children don't qualify for financial aid because their FAFSA report says their parents have too much money. I've know many, and I mean many young students not qualify for financial aid because their parents had to much income or assets or however FAFSA works. A lot of students in this situation don't qualify for financial aid and their parent's won't help them. It really leaves these students out in the cold. It happens a lot.

 

[Koolau]

Back to paying for kid's college. I would feel like a fine horse's behind if I didn't pay for our children's education, when I had the money at the time, only to leave them a bigger pile of money in my will years down the line when they don't need it anymore.

I think this is especially true when children don't qualify for financial aid because their FAFSA report says their parents have too much money. I've know many, and I mean many young students not qualify for financial aid because their parents had to much income or assets or however FAFSA works. A lot of students in this situation don't qualify for financial aid and their parent's won't help them. It really leaves these students out in the cold. It happens a lot.

The FAFSA thing didn't happen to our kids, we helped (a lot) with their loans, and they won't be inheriting a lot. Problem solved.

 

[levindb]

College is a time when our children have an opportunity to learn a great deal about life. They often live away from home for the first time. One of the courses that does not show up in college curriculum deals with managing money. We took this opportunity to fund 1/2 of our children's college expenses, and they would come up with the rest from working during the summers, scholarships, and loans. We also funded 1/2 of their first cars, bur ALL of their car insurance.
Now, 20-30 years later, each of them are doing well financially, because IMHO they had to solve their financial situation when they were 18-22. We were always there as a backstop, in case something serious happened in their lives, but learning to live within their means was a great lesson in life's challenges.

 

[athena53]

Yup. I attended one of the top accounting schools. At our first AC101 lecture, the professor started with the old look at the students to your left and to your right and it is unlikely that they will still be around when you graduate in 4 years. He was spot on.

Dad, Class of 1953, heard that his first day in Engineering School, too.

I am in the minority and let the child pay their own way. They will want it more and can find their way to pay for college. I believe it does more harm then good paying for school and many others things.
I have always been there as a backstop if things need a helping hand. I paid my way through my son paid for 95% of tis college and it didn't hurt him and it made him a better manager of life and learned the dollars means something.

Tell that to my parents, may they rest in peace, who put 5 of us through college. One actuary, two accountants, a mechanical engineer and a doctor. My son and his family probably would not be able to make it on his income alone if he were paying off loans for his education, which was about $30K/year 15 years ago.

We were pretty careful with our money and got decent grades. I remember being very stubborn about not asking Mom and Dad for a dime for books or other spending money- that came out of my summer job income. I lived in some pretty squalid off-campus housing my last 2 years because I didn't want it to cost them more than the dorm.

My uncle, OTOH (Mom's youngest brother) would overdraw his checking account and the manager of their small-town bank would call Grandpa so Grandpa could deposit more money.

 

[CO-guy]

But... but... even then it might be more expensive going there than not... my DS got accepted to a 'prestigious' university even though I did not want him to apply as I thought it would be too expensive...

Well, guess what... even with what seemed like a good scholarship it was more expensive than the 'prestigious' state school... IIRC it was 50% off, but that still was more than 2X state...

He has graduated and is doing very well in his career... the 'prestigious' university did not make a difference...

I don't disagree, and there are myriad ways to reduce the overall cost of earning a 4-year degree, regardless of the kind of school someone attends.

 

[CO-guy]

These classmates think they hit a triple when they were born on third base.

My parent came to the United States as a child refugee. IMO, by comparison I had the benefit of being born on first base.

 

[athena53]

He has graduated and is doing very well in his career... the 'prestigious' university did not make a difference...

I once told Dad that I REALLY wished I could have spent a year studying abroad. (My French was pretty decent and I was a Math major so not as much intensive reading/writing necessary.) There were 4 siblings coming after me so I never even asked. Dad said he wished he'd sent us to Ivy-league schools because of the network you develop. (They'd told us they'd pay for in-state public university tuition and R&B and we had to cover anything beyond that. All of us chose in-state public schools.) That's assuming we could get in, of course. We were all at least solid B students but not driven and that was OK. I doubt the Ivies would have been interested in any of us. If funds were available, I'd fund Ivy League only if it were necessary to get into a very selective graduate program (including Medicine and Law) or into something like investment banking, where they would have laughed at our degrees from respectable state schools in Ohio.

 

[pjigar]

These classmates think they hit a triple when they were born on third base.

It felt like I hit a home run when I immigrated to United States. Saying United States has been a land of opportunities for me is a gross understatement. Warren Buffet has aptly said "...But the luckiest day in my life is the day I was born, because I was born in the United States..."

 

[Phroig]

The elite schools don't give merit-based scholarships to undergrads; all scholarships are need-based. These and next-tier privates now give full rides to students from low-income families. The income level varies, but, for example, Harvard recently announced full rides for family incomes less than $100K, and no tuition for family incomes less than $200K.
It’s more the middle class that gets left out. We're firmly middle class, but we'd be full pay at these schools, at $80-100K per year.

 

[surprising]

I grew up pretty poor and went to a really expensive private college. About half was covered by grants and the other half was loans. I worked on campus most years but wasn't really required since I got enough for all expenses. For me personally, I didn't act any different knowing I had skin in the game. I think it was because all the funding happened behind the scenes. I never saw a bill for 4 years, just signed a couple papers. Felt like I was going to college for free frankly.

With my daughters, they each had a bunch of money saved in 529 plans and we told them that's all they get. One decided to go to out-of-state and pay 3X tuition, so she had to pay her own room and board for 3 years. She worked a lot to cover it. I think that made it more real, because if she didn't work, she wouldn't be able to eat or have a roof over her head. After she graduated she said she was proud but she also let us know that it was pretty difficult to balance work, schoolwork and play since she had to work so much. I felt pretty terrible about that, especially knowing I could easily afford to pay for it all..

 

[Kings over Queens]

I am interested in your thoughts in regards to paying for your kids college.

I believe as parents we provide the unlocked door and the child pushes through. What say you?

For us, the deal was we would front the money for college with the understanding that the kids would pay us back 50% of the nut. We were fortunate in that both did it smart with the first 2 years at the local community college and then the balance at Rutgers but through the local community college. Basically, a 4 year degree from Rutgers but at the cost of 4 years at community college.

They did well, especially considering half their time was during covid. Once they graduated I waived their 50%, because they did well and earned it. I didn't need the money back from them and saw no benefit to taking money from their accounts.

It worked for us.