Unable to spend Money ?

[Stormy Kromer]

I want to feed people, with no distractions taking a cut. ( I live in Minnesota)

 

[ziggy29]

We've hit the point where this is starting to become "a thing", where Monte Carlo simulations routinely give us a 98-99% chance of success with conservative estimates about future returns and elevated inflation expectations -- even if we completely quit everything for good and never saved another dime (DW is still working and probably will be for another 3-5 years; I stopped working for pay in 2018 but am an active volunteer at our local food bank). And that also means we could easily start spending more, but it is a tough mindset to shift into when you have been all about saving more and investing more for 35 years.

Baby steps, I guess. Trying to convince myself it's OK to go on an extra vacation once a year, to splurge a little more on experiences, that sort of thing, the stuff that I used to say "no" to because it subtracted from what we were putting away for retirement. But it is an ongoing conflict in my head.

 

[statsman]

Approaching 8 figures? Wow!! I suppose DW and I could be approaching 8 figures, but if so, way over half of it is hiding from us!

 

[brainsqueeze]

no offense to the OP

Avoiding this situation is *exactly* the point of Die with Zero

It is a cautionary tale to the young uber saver to stop toiling, earning, and saving so much and to start enjoying life earlier because at some point it *will* become impossible to spend your money fast enough and it *will* grow exponentially while your age and your health and eventually your death keep you from enjoying it. And in the end you will die with a gazillion dollars in the bank and that is an unequivocal failure.

Our NW is >$15M and growing fast because I earn $500k per year and we spend "only" $250k. I know I don't want to end up like the OP, again, no offense intended. I'm debating buying business class tickets to Europe as we speak. $3500 OW instead of $500. I'm trying to pull the trigger but still find it very hard to do. Old habits die hard.

 

[audreyh1]

We've hit the point where this is starting to become "a thing", where Monte Carlo simulations routinely give us a 98-99% chance of success with conservative estimates about future returns and elevated inflation expectations -- even if we completely quit everything for good and never saved another dime (DW is still working and probably will be for another 3-5 years; I stopped working for pay in 2018 but am an active volunteer at our local food bank). And that also means we could easily start spending more, but it is a tough mindset to shift into when you have been all about saving more and investing more for 35 years.

Baby steps, I guess. Trying to convince myself it's OK to go on an extra vacation once a year, to splurge a little more on experiences, that sort of thing, the stuff that I used to say "no" to because it subtracted from what we were putting away for retirement. But it is an ongoing conflict in my head.

One thing that we experience now is that for various reasons we don’t go on as many trips as we used to. So we are much more motivated to splurge on the trips we do go on.

 

[brett]

My spouse claimed for many years (in jest) that I had short arms and deep pockets.

It is a hereditary, inherited trait. On balance she is actually very thankful for it.

In retirement she believes that my arms are becoming a little longer and my pockets a little less deep.

It is hard to shake the habits of a lifetime and the background/heritage in which you were raised but I am trying!

 

[TheWizard]

Same issue for my brother. We will place him for 10 days in a nursing home that offers short term respite care. It's where he spent 9 months right after his stroke and it's a nice safe place that he's familiar with.

But when you head to Florida this time of year, you all go together, right?

 

[floss187]

easy ways to blow cash:

- adopt a waitress. tip 20% + $100 in cash every time. you'll make their day.
- go out 3 times a day.
- buy the person's stuff in front of you in line -- not behind you. don't start that chain nonsense. just get in line behind someone and when they go to pay swipe your card and tell 'em its your lucky day.
- Ship cases of food/supplies to the local shelters/soup kitchens that are not state run. mine here has an amazon wish list. I send the occasional box of supplies their way.

- go out on the street, ask someone who looks like they are struggling but not a waste what their dream is. If it sounds doable, fund it and expect nothing in return. giving a kid with ambition 10k could solve cancer. or, it could be a waste of 9999.

- buy land, donate it to the land trust for preservation
- put an endowment on it so it always has money long after you're gone

- sponsor a local kid to be a race car driver. enable that dream.
- buy the kid doing wheelies in your neighborhood a new bike or something that can make him the next Travis Pastrana
- buy land for kids to ride bikes on, drit bikes, quads, whatever. get a billion dollar policy and you're good.

- support local artists. start a co-op, let them hang up their stuff in your building for free, have galleries, social events, sales of paintings and crafts, etc. charge 10% commission and donate it all to charity.

- build a park in your town for kids. 2-3 mil can get a nice set up on an acre or two in most areas outside the city. put another 500k in an endowment to maintain it forever.

- ask the fire dept what they need that their funding won't allow and buy it for them.

- i take paypal, wire transfers, and unsolicited advice pretty well if you run out of better ideas

 

[marko]

But when you head to Florida this time of year, you all go together, right?

That's different from 10 days in Tuscany. Florida is just moving from one home to the other.

 

[TheWizard]

That's different from 10 days in Tuscany.

Understand...

 

[Gallaher]

Just got back from Thailand yesterday. No I did not upgrade to first class but I got back and read this post again. I was thankful to be there 3 weeks.
We are all anonymous here so we dont know OP. Or their motives.
However, I think a lot of us can relate.
There was a time I was just so thankful to pay off those student loans. Didn’t need anything else that month.
The time the orthopedic surgeon said “go ahead, try and walk on it.” That was a blessing. No amount of money could be better.
When I first gave my Church six figures for a project. I met a call.

IT AINT JUST ABOUT MONEY!

Maybe OP likes growing money more than spending it..nothing wrong with that.
It would seem someone just needs to contemplate what they really want and be happy with it.
But I don’t know anything

 

[Koolau]

One thing I have noticed (and it surprised me just a bit): We tend to spend more if we have more available in our checking account. Like many here, we have a decent stash to spend from. But because of tax and "cliff" issues, we are careful about cashing out and refilling the cash "bucket." (Full disclosure: We don't use the bucket method of investing).

So in addition to our general frugal ways, the tax-wagging-the-dog-tendency can inhibit spending. When we take our RMD, for instance, we find ourselves more likely to spend more because (wait for it) "we have the money" in the checking account.

SO word to those wanting to spend more: Put more into your checking or cash accounts.

 

[Blue Poles]

One way to increase spending is to convince yourself that some expenditure had little or no impact on your net worth. In order to do this, you need to track your net worth at a fairly frequent interval. In my case, I have a spreadsheet that I update every Saturday morning.

Like you, my wife has a hard time internalizing just how much we have saved (our liquid assets just crossed into 8 digits). So here is what I did: I bought a new car last year. showed my wife a graph of our net worth over the course of the year. I asked her to point out when we bought the car - she was not able to! There was no evidence of a $40k purchase in the graph. This was a real eye opener for her

And if you include the value of your vehicles in your net worth, you can buy a huge number of cars this way.

 

[flyingaway]

If travelling is difficult for you, spending time at casinos can be fun. We do both. Yes, money has to be spent on fun activities and happiness.

 

[jollystomper]

One way to look at going from saving to spending is to think of it as starting an exercise program. You don't start out immediately with your goal, as that can be painful. I think of so many lotteries winner who end up broke - they decide they need to spend everything everywhere all at once .

It is better to work up to it, step by step. There might only be a few areas at the beginning you can think about spending more. There are other areas where it is perfectly fine to remain frugal. Over time, as you get more comfortable, than can change. But overall, I think it is fine, as one spends more, if there remain areas one chooses to stay frugal in.

Another aspect to consider - if you need to spend the money, you are going to spend the money. For example, you are not going to be frugal if something important to you needs repair. Back in 2023 when we flew to Paris for our 40th wedding anniversary, we spent probably close to $10K extra for plane and hotel, for comfort and convenience. I realized as, I was thinking about the trip cost, that is something happened in our home where we needed to spend that money for a repair, we would not hesitate, because it would be important to us, and we had the money. So why am I hesitating now on something that is important to us, and we have the money? Thinking in those turns has helped us loosen our purse strings .

Even with that, we still have relatives on DW's side of the family who consider us cheap. But that is because we are not "spreading our wealth" to them, which is a another story .

 

[dmpi]

The OP numbers sounds a lot like ours. There's no way we can spend our money away. My wife and I have an eye for value. Find areas that you can go upscale on and still get some value. One area is cooking. Lobster, wagu beef, smoked salmon, fine wines, etc is always a nice treat. Another another is DIY home remodeling. Build a collection of quality tools and know how to use them. Know when to hire a professional contractor. Speaking of professionals, find a mechanic, accountant and lawyer that you trust and treat them good. They will help you in return. Buy quality items that don't have a reoccurring cost. I wouldn't hesitate to buy a $3000 binoculars or a $10,000 telescope or a $5,000 computer. Whatever you want as long as you don't have to pay for upkeep and/or maintenance AND it has enough universal appeal such that when you get tired of the item you can give it away to someone who actually wants it.
Last but not least, try to help take care of your immediate family, your extended family, and your friends. Understand that you've been blessed and rewarded by they hard work, frugal lifestyle, and investing foresight. But not everyone gets to share in that (usually by their own doing...but that's not the point). Society has concentrated great wealth into the top 5%. The common people are struggling and the American dream is nowhere in sight. I have great respect for anybody that actually works for a living. If you find a situation in which you can help people without spoiling them or making them envy your money then by all means you should help them.

 

[livingalmostlarge]

So I'm at the tipping point and crossroads as well. Couple Of years ago I came here and asked about flying business or not. I did it and haven't looked back. This summer I read and listened to the wealth ladder. It let me ease up more on spending. I stopped worrying about eating out and grabbing a coffee and everything else. I realized imour spending stopped moving the needle and we had better spend to try to die with zero.

Well today I am booking some trips for the year. And I have been trying to reconcile spending $2k extra for an extra room for each trip. I thought it was only getting used to nicer hotels. But also this summer after being in Asia for two weeks with only 2 rooms each time we liked the extra space and bathroom.

I'm stupid. The $2k is not going to move the needle. I'm being ridiculous. I don't want to die with millions I want to die with zero or close to it. And for that to happen I have to start spending like lavishly and even then it won't be enough

So I'm out now but I'm going home and booking the second room for both trips and not worrying about it

 

[NW-Bound]

Our NW is >$15M and growing fast because I earn $500k per year and we spend "only" $250k. I know I don't want to end up like the OP, again, no offense intended. I'm debating buying business class tickets to Europe as we speak. $3500 OW instead of $500. I'm trying to pull the trigger but still find it very hard to do. Old habits die hard.

Hah! I am not at 8 figures, and have been frugal all my life. Yet, I am debating flying ourselves and two grown children and their spouses to Europe on biz class tickets. $3500 x 6. Regretfully, it may not happen because of their work schedule. I don't want to leave them this much money, and cannot enjoy it with them while I still can.

It's not about spending money, but spending money on something you think is worthwhile. I don't crave fast and fancy cars for example. Recently, looked at an upscale home with a 1/2 acre lot, but passed it up because it takes more upkeep than I care to give it. I already have a 2nd home in the high country that's underused.

 

[brett]

We have recently transferred the first part of an inheritance we are receiving down to each of our two adult children. Six figure amounts to each of them.

We do not need the money so we are flowing it down a generation. It gives us no pleasure, no benefit to have that money sitting in our respective accounts.

We are doing the same by funding each of our four (currently) grandchildren's post secondary eductation.

It gives us even more pleasure to do this than we derive from spending money on frequent travel, etc.

 

[audreyh1]

So I'm at the tipping point and crossroads as well. Couple Of years ago I came here and asked about flying business or not. I did it and haven't looked back. This summer I read and listened to the wealth ladder. It let me ease up more on spending. I stopped worrying about eating out and grabbing a coffee and everything else. I realized imour spending stopped moving the needle and we had better spend to try to die with zero.

Well today I am booking some trips for the year. And I have been trying to reconcile spending $2k extra for an extra room for each trip. I thought it was only getting used to nicer hotels. But also this summer after being in Asia for two weeks with only 2 rooms each time we liked the extra space and bathroom.

I'm stupid. The $2k is not going to move the needle. I'm being ridiculous. I don't want to die with millions I want to die with zero or close to it. And for that to happen I have to start spending like lavishly and even then it won't be enough

So I'm out now but I'm going home and booking the second room for both trips and not worrying about it

Sharing a room and bathroom is comfortable, even nice and cosy for us, but clearly 2 rooms really adds to your traveling comfort, so go for it!

 

[NW-Bound]

A lot of posters talk about dying broke. If you manage to give away your wealth before your last breath, either to relatives or charities, well, it's gonna happen anyway as you cannot take it with you.

But I see no reason to spend down just to "burn" the money. If I don't care for fancy cars, and my wife fancy purses, why do something just to get rid of money for something you don't enjoy? I would give away more money instead.

 

[Lorenzo]

But I see no reason to spend down just to "burn" the money. If I don't care for fancy cars, and my wife fancy purses, why do something just to get rid of money for something you don't enjoy? I would give away more money instead.

If giving to others gives you enjoyment, I would lump that spending under the same heading as other spending that typically gives people enjoyment, of which spending on so-called luxury goods and services is just a small slice. Beyond giving to others and spending on luxury goods and services, creative people should be able to find plenty of things to do with their money that gives them enjoyment.

 

[audreyh1]

Hah! I am not at 8 figures, and have been frugal all my life. Yet, I am debating flying ourselves and two grown children and their spouses to Europe on biz class tickets. $3500 x 6. Regretfully, it may not happen because of their work schedule. I don't want to leave them this much money, and cannot enjoy it with them while I still can.

It's not about spending money, but spending money on something you think is worthwhile. I don't crave fast and fancy cars for example. Recently, looked at an upscale home with a 1/2 acre lot, but passed it up because it takes more upkeep than I care to give it. I already have a 2nd home in the high country that's underused.

For sure. Many folks seem to have trouble imagining what they might spend more on. No one wants to just throw money around. It's more a matter of looking at what you enjoy, what can improve your experiences, maybe even save precious time. Not necessarily taking on the burden of more things, but instead enhancing experiences, including sharing them and time with others.

 

[brett]

For sure. Many folks seem to have trouble imagining what they might spend more on. No one wants to just throw money around. It's more a matter of looking at what you enjoy, what can improve your experiences, maybe even save precious time. Not necessarily taking on the burden of more things, but instead enhancing experiences, including sharing them and time with others.

So very true. Since retiring at 58 we have been less and less interested in things. It could be because we did a significant downsize at retirement literally into a storage container.

At one point about five years in my spouse suggest a new vehicle. Off we went to the Acura dealership. My spouse expected me to buy. So did I.

Only when I sat in that very comfy leather seat and saw all the options that my '97 Camry lacked, breathed in the new car smell it did not do anything from me. Nadda. This had never happened to me before.

Got out, motioned to DW, and we left. When she asked why I simply said buying something like this just did not do it for me anymore. DW smiled, the sales rep frowned and off we went.

I am far more excited about our upcoming SE Asia snowbird trip in ten days time. It gives us a lot more pleasure to see the surprise when we transfer a significant inheritance that we rec'd down a generation to our children, or substanially increase our quarterly support to our local food bank. Or the possibility of starting to plan a snowbird trip back to Africa next year before returning home from this winters trip.

 

[pacergal]

One thing I have noticed (and it surprised me just a bit): We tend to spend more if we have more available in our checking account. Like many here, we have a decent stash to spend from. But because of tax and "cliff" issues, we are careful about cashing out and refilling the cash "bucket." (Full disclosure: We don't use the bucket method of investing).

So in addition to our general frugal ways, the tax-wagging-the-dog-tendency can inhibit spending. When we take our RMD, for instance, we find ourselves more likely to spend more because (wait for it) "we have the money" in the checking account.

SO word to those wanting to spend more: Put more into your checking or cash accounts.

So true.
We are blessed to have a pension plus our SS.
When the pension arrives in the checking acct. on the first of the month, I sit down and pay bills. But when the SS arrives later in the month, we tend to go shopping! lol.