Unable to spend Money ?

[Murdock75]

We have a healthy sum saved & invested, which keeps growing.

We are unable to spend, do not know what to spend it on, physical limitations like knee & shoulder replacements come in the way & limit my mobility some.

Old Frugal habits some how raise their head, do not want to waste money.

Gift to 2 launched kids non reportable & reportable Form 709 & 529s for grandkids, a scholarship for needy students at a local college.

I am pushing 70, DW is nearing 65, live in a manageable size retirement downsized house.
We can easily afford a larger sized home for two of us, like our friends, but it comes with physically demanding maintenance (in our minds). But, we think our 3/3 is plenty big.

We never thought we may be leaving this large a pot of money behind. We are touching 8 figures. The dividends & our SS will be around $175k/yr, which we spend now.
We do have an aggressive AA for retirees as we are investing for kids in a way. If the market crashes 50% so be it, we may leave behind less but our $175k/yr will still be intact.

We do travel internationally but cannot get ourselves to buy 1st class, prefer coach instead as we always have.
(I know our kids will)

Have you heard of middle class people who are uneasy with large sum of dough ? That is us.
We are annoyed to spend money just for spending sake, when we do not see any more return for it.

We started poor but have got into money by frugal living but it is tough to get rid of those same habits .

Anybody else who is afflicted ? Any ways to get out of this ?

Thanks for reading through a long post.

Thanks in advance

It took us till 75yo to realize how much money we have and then be able to spend it without guilt to enjoy and see new things. Not at the point of buying $25K watches, but vacations to new places are on the agenda. There is still going to be plenty of money for the kids and grandkids that we gift to every year. We worked hard for this and now are going to enjoy it. Good luck with your journey.

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

Well, we just retired last year, and with the way the economy and the world are right now, we're trying to stay a bit cautious and spend about 3%, to avoid SORR. I think I'll have no problem loosening the purse strings if we either inherit a substantial amount or we get into another extended bull market. In fact, I was comparing premium economy and business class for an international trip we're considering, but we'll have to see where we are when we are ready to buy the tickets.

 

[Koolau]

In MY opinion, at $175k a year you are not middle class, your in come is 2 Times the Median household income, many of those below $85k households have 2 or more kids.

I realize we could argue about this, but $175K/year might be a lot in some areas but not in others. We feel comfortable at something near that figure but we live in an average apartment, drive a 14 (and 26) year old car. Our major splurge is living part time in another state. Nothing about us (other than just maybe our address) would suggest anything other than middle class. As always YMMV.

 

[RetiredHappy]

I realize we could argue about this, but $175K/year might be a lot in some areas but not in others. We feel comfortable at something near that figure but we live in an average apartment, drive a 14 (and 26) year old car. Our major splurge is living part time in another state. Nothing about us (other than just maybe our address) would suggest anything other than middle class. As always YMMV.

+1 We cannot live on $175K/year and we are not fancy people.

 

[TheWizard]

+1 We cannot live on $175K/year and we are not fancy people.

I'm single and pay taxes on more than $175K AGI per year and I'm fine.
But I've slacked off on my spending lately, dammit...

 

[oiseux]

Yes, I understand the struggle. Everyone is different and has different likes, dislikes, interests and preferences. I can share a few additional thoughts based on our struggle:
1. Start to look at Donor Advised Funds or other charitable programs that can, through tax advantages, stretch your impact or deal with your forthcoming RMD issues.
2. Have you considered a shared 2nd family home? Is there a nearby lake/mountain/beach you and your children's families can enjoy?
3. Interests or hobbies? Consider upgrading equipment. Also consider classes and travel residency programs. There is a whole universe courses, programs, seminars and other things related to each interest.
4. Consider investing in everyday comforts (like foods that were mentioned). Things like upgraded, better fitting footwear, sheets/linens, better cookware/appliances. Small, unbudgeted spend can help gradually loosen the purse strings.
4. When traveling, considering upgrading based on hotel/resort or apartment location -- a great location is a huge plus for those with mobility issues. Luxury is not for every taste, but location appeals to all.
5. I read private guides mentioned, but also consider car and drivers, in places with transport challenges.
6. Upgrading to business class is not just the seat, but also the priority in checkin, lounges, and in many international locations, priority in security. You can often purchase upgrades (or be granted them) for VIP services that bypass the terminal and deliver you straight to the lounge and/or to the plane. For those with mobility issues, this can be a big bonus, or just a way to eliminate the increasing hassles of travel..

 

[marko]

I hope its temporary, but I think I've entered Bernicke territory.

Our discretionary spending has plummeted! We're spending only about 30% of our usual/average discretionary $6000 monthly spending (meals out, travel, impulse buys, gifts etc.).

Reason: DW had knee replacement surgery in January and between doctor appointments, physical therapy, home therapy, my needing to drive her everywhere and her inability to sit for long periods, we're saving a ton of money. Today we just learned that she needs another minor procedure which might set her back a few more weeks. (Ka-ching!!)

We didn't run out of money, we just don't have the TIME!

Last year was my PC, but despite feeling fine, my radiation treatments limited my ability to go very far so it was another lean spending year.

Again, hopefully this isn't a trend......

 

[OK EE]

I realize we could argue about this, but $175K/year might be a lot in some areas but not in others. We feel comfortable at something near that figure but we live in an average apartment, drive a 14 (and 26) year old car. Our major splurge is living part time in another state. Nothing about us (other than just maybe our address) would suggest anything other than middle class. As always YMMV.

Living in HI I would say you're at the extreme COL. Although even on the mainland 175K/yr is probably not struggling but I doubt you'd be considered "rich" by the casual observer. Upper middle class maybe.

 

[old medic]

+1 We cannot live on $175K/year and we are not fancy people.

We have never made that much in a year. $112K is our record...

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

We feel pretty upper middle class, spending about $150-160K/year in the DC area (HCOL), but then our house is paid off, and our property taxes are moderate for this type of area, so I suppose that equates to closer to $200K with rent/mortgage payments.

 

[Time2]

Might I suggest spending some money on your health.
I don't know about your knee and shoulder, will putting in some hours of physical therapy improve them so you are more mobile? Many people are so happy with their replacements, They wish they had done it years sooner. Get a Functional health doctor and get a boatload of blood tests and so how you can improve what is not in order.

 

[FIYes]

It is not always easy to break a lifetime habit of frugality. We could spend more but don’t have any interest in spending just for the sake of spending. Like Cosmic Avenger we feel pretty well off with a paid for house and a moderate cost of living in flyover country.

 

[TickTock]

Spending for the sake of spending is a good way to reverse the process that goes into becoming FI.

IMO, the question should be, "Is the spending on this [whatever] worth it to me/us?"

 

[audreyh1]

Does anyone here spend just for the sake of spending?

 

[erkevin]

Does anyone here spend just for the sake of spending?

Absolutely not; always been frugal, still frugal today.

 

[RetiredHappy]

Does anyone here spend just for the sake of spending?

Not us, although we know how to spend money though.

 

[audreyh1]

Not us, although we know how to spend money though.

Same here, or at least we’ve learned how to seriously kick it up a notch over the past few years.

 

[Lewis Clark]

Does anyone here spend just for the sake of spending?

Not me. And I would be very surprised to learn this is true for anyone on this board. At least, now that RobbieB is no lobger active. : )

 

[lawman]

You can either fly first class or your kids will

 

[oiseux]

Same here, or at least we’ve learned how to seriously kick it up a notch over the past few years.

We call it "unclenching" and it is hard to reverse old habits. It is far from spending for the sake of it....

 

[flyingaway]

Sometimes, we have to spend just because we need to spend. A trip to Europe is never necessary, but if you have time and money, why not change your scenery a little bit?

 

[audreyh1]

Sometimes, we have to spend just because we need to spend. A trip to Europe is never necessary, but if you have time and money, why not change your scenery a little bit?

So you wouldn’t travel to Europe otherwise than to spend money that needs to be spent?

Who says you’re only allowed to spend on necessities? Gosh none of us could justify leisure travel at all in that case.

 

[audreyh1]

We call it "unclenching" and it is hard to reverse old habits. It is far from spending for the sake of it....

It’s interesting that some folks feel that if they don’t stick to their previous frugal habits then they’ll suddenly be spending just for the sake of it.

 

[Lorenzo]

Does anyone here spend just for the sake of spending?

Unlikely. I think the people who use that phrase to explain that they already have everything in life they need just don't realize what is out there that might interest them or improve their comfort. I could name a hundred activities I'd like to try.

With threads like this in mind, as a thought exercise the other day I tried to come up with a total blow-that-dough endeavor that I have long thought would give me some pleasure. I tried to avoid sports and outdoor endeavors that even at my relatively young age could be challenging. I came up with the idea of a trip to a renowned fly fishing destination for a week or two of one-on-one learning and guiding--in relative luxury lodging of course. I believe spending on meaningful things--that is, not spending just for the sake of spending--is only limited by creativity.

I do get it that it gets tougher as we age, with mobility issues and such impacting our options. Vigorous outdoor endeavors and hobbies that require fine dexterity may become challenging. Also, perhaps there is a psychological component in that we find more contentment doing less as we age--staying home more rather than traveling more gains appeal, for example.

 

[CO-guy]

Does anyone here spend just for the sake of spending?

I'd say there's always a motivation to spend money, such as a worthy cause.

Perhaps the closest we come to a lack of benefit with spending money is our approach to silent auctions, but we're not alone in that regard in our community.

For example, at auctions to support local trails people will bid hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars for a $50 trail sign. Even better, several years ago an auction winner noticed that someone had vandalized a sign on his favorite trail. So he returned with tools and replaced the sign with the one he'd won in an auction.