What happens to a loner when he loses the ability to take care of himself?

I don't have children of my own and I'm not sure I can rely on my nieces/nephews. It's still some years away but I've wondered if hiring a geriatric care manager for myself when I'm around 70 would be helpful...
 
Read up on Gene Hackman.... And I hate to say it but that happens about daily....
My career exposed me to many cases of lone seniors found dead after periods of time. Whenever we came across a situation of someone unable to care for themselves, we would report it to Dept of Social Services. They would step in to try and help, but sometimes that didn't make a difference.
There are a group of older ladies in our church who check up on each other on a daily basis. It's so simple an idea that it's too bad that other groups don't follow the same idea.

Just a quick phone call in sort of a round robin in some cases and reciprocal calls for others. Everyone gets a call each day to be sure they are okay. Each person who calls knows who to call if they don't get an adequate response (family members, 911 or neighbor, etc.).
 
There are a group of older ladies in our church who check up on each other on a daily basis. It's so simple an idea that it's too bad that other groups don't follow the same idea.

Just a quick phone call in sort of a round robin in some cases and reciprocal calls for others. Everyone gets a call each day to be sure they are okay. Each person who calls knows who to call if they don't get an adequate response (family members, 911 or neighbor, etc.).
I use the Snug app.
 
The birthday and Christmas cash to my niece and nephews are premiums paid for them to look out for me!

Something I think about once in a while but still pretty young. May eventually buy into a community depending on financial and family situation at that time. If still alone in 15-20 years I may consider funding a trust to provide for me and keep evil people from stealing from me and leaving me in squalor.

The antagonist in "I Care a lot" is one of the most evil and scary villains and one I hope to avoid.
 
There was a recent story on NPR news about someone needing 27/7 in home care. I don't remember all the details. What I do remember is the $$$$. Their care was through an agency and was $16k/month.
 
Depressing but important topic. We don’t have kids and DW’s family’s life expectancies are less than mine, and there’s more dementia on her side, so this is a real concern for me. Observing my divorced parents, moving in one’s mid/late 70s is far more manageable than in one’s mid-80s. My 85 yo DF is kind of stuck where he is, without a very heavy lift that he no longer has the capacity to really cope with. If I’m fortunate to live that long and have my wits, I want to be in position a bit earlier, say by 75, to have the paid care nearby that I will eventually need.
 
I don't have children of my own and I'm not sure I can rely on my nieces/nephews. It's still some years away but I've wondered if hiring a geriatric care manager for myself when I'm around 70 would be helpful...

I agree with aja888- 70 is not that old! I'm 72 and the only thing I've had to stop doing is anything on a high ladder (e.g., replacing light bulbs in my 16-foot ceilings). I have excellent balance but just too risky to do that with no one around. The rest of the physical stuff (cleaning, lawn care) may take me longer but I can still do it, and I manage my own finances including investments.

Good to have someone lined up but I hope you don't need it for awhile!
 
I don't have children of my own and I'm not sure I can rely on my nieces/nephews. It's still some years away but I've wondered if hiring a geriatric care manager for myself when I'm around 70 would be helpful...
My spouse is 77 yo this year and still golfs 4 days a week. Definitely 70 yo is much too young for most people to need a geriatric care manager. My thoughts are maybe at 90. :)
 
That implies you're astute and well enough to manage your finances, arrange for the help to come in, etc. If you're alone and capable, it wouldn't be too much of a problem. But if you're there alone (OP"s question) and not firing on all cylinders, administering your own care and managing your finances to pay for it is going to be a problem.
That's the reality...people living alone that lose their faculties often aren't aware of the decline and are unable to take the appropriate measures to protect themselves or to make alternate arrangements.

The number of people I know that had to talk into/force their parents into a retirement or care home when they were no longer able to care for themselves vastly outnumber the amount of people that made the move willingly.
 
When my uncle died, my aunt was suddenly in bankruptcy. She was going to get kicked out of her house, so I bought the house with the intent of renting it back to her (she had a pension that could support her modest lifestyle with both of us paying some toward the mortgage). But as often happens, when one of a pair goes, the other gets affected. She was able to manage on her own for a year or two, but got dementia and started blaming our family members that visited her for any problems.

She quit paying rent, which was fine, but soon after the neighbors reported a problem, and social services started casting around for family thieves (there were none). As landlord, I was informed that they would take all her assets and she would be moved to a state facility. They cleaned out the house of every last thing, but I made sure they knew I owned the refrigerator and laundry equipment, or they probably would have made off with that too. This all took place in Florida, and I was remote. Family kept visiting at the facility, and she apparently was happy enough there, but eventually forgot who family was.

I guess the point here with this example is that, depending on where you live, there's probably a safety net. They take all your possessions and give you a place to stay. In my aunt's case, the furniture and maybe some coins or collectibles were the only assets, but other inductees might have liquid assets too, and maybe that makes the program less of a taxpayer burden.
 
If you're truly "alone" but fully capable of entering a CCRC independent living situation, most CCRC's will require you to have a medical POA and viable management of your finances (trust executor, etc.) as a requirement. In the event you take a sudden turn for the worse, they insist on having someone with decision making power and someone authorized to keep paying the bills in place.

If you can afford it, and can successfully jump the hurdles for admission, I think CCRC's are an excellent solution for the "old and alone" problem.
Ive wondered about this. Eventually in a CCRC you may need someone to pay bills for you, handle your finances etc. So do they provide suggestions as to how you can find someone like this?
 
At my CCRC you are required to have a durable POA and also there is an employee you can hire to do things like pay bills, gather tax info, etc. We have a red button that you have to push every morning by 10 am and if you do not, they call you and if you do not answer they come to your apartment to check on you. The residents also look after each other--I teach a dance class and one of my regular dancers started falling so I alerted the medical clinic and they checked her out and adjusted a medication.
 
Depending on your health, 70 is not that old.
There was a big study published a few years ago, with survey data from a number of countries.
What they found was that once you get into your 60s, most people will say that "old" means ten years older than their current age.

Better to be over the hill than under it.
 
There was a big study published a few years ago, with survey data from a number of countries.
What they found was that once you get into your 60s, most people will say that "old" means ten years older than their current age.

Better to be over the hill than under it.
I'm starting to think that over 90 is old.
 
That's a bit of an exaggeration when you say "most". I know of several truly excellent CCRCs that have wait lists of only 4-6 years. If that is something you are seriously thinking about (like me), then it's kind of a no-brainer to do some research, find one or two that fit your needs, and place a small refundable deposit to get on their list.
Sure, there are some with long lists, but they are still in the minority (for now). As the Baby Boom generation ages, those lists will certainly keep lengthening.
If you frame the deposit as insurance--it is really not all that expensive. Deposits typically are small ($1-2000) and are refundable. Only real "costs" is opportunity cost for the deposit.
 
I think loners are more vulnerable to far worse outcomes from falling and strokes, compared to people that are partnered.
If I was a worrier, and I am, I would be more concerned about these impulse events than some long, drawn-out reduction in quality of life.
 
Ive wondered about this. Eventually in a CCRC you may need someone to pay bills for you, handle your finances etc. So do they provide suggestions as to how you can find someone like this?
Yes. In our interviews with CCRC management, we haven't delved into this very extensively since we have kids who would assume this role. But my understanding is that they require names/authorizations to be in place when you move in whether it's a relative, outside professional or one of their staff. They don't want any open-ended situations. They have resources they can suggest.
 
Even good kids can't protect you much, if you lose your capacity for reasonable decisionmaking. My once extremely bright mother, widowed, lived by herself with emphysema, hundreds of miles from any of us 3 kids, with two cats. She had no money for assisted living, was terrified of "nursing homes" and of having to give up the cats. All 3 of us offered to have her in our homes, but Mom rejected everybody for different dumb reasons. She loved us very much, but wanted things her way. She was afraid of strangers and would not allow hired help in her home, even if we paid.

The last time I drove the 450 miles to her house I found it in a state of near-squalor. My brother, who lived the closest, basically dragged her out and got her to his home where she was content for a while. Then his wife died, and Mom went to my sister, where she existed on a couch in the living room because she couldn't go upstairs. She rejected aide after aide that my sister hired to help her bathe, etc. "I don't want her, I don't want her here." I can't say any more except that this happens to the smartest people.
 
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