What's Your Third Place? (Or should that be second?)

[Diogenes]

I used to see a group of older gentlemen doing a coffee klatch at 5:am at a local gas station that had a small seating area near the coffee machines, but the place was sold to a Middle Eastern family and I don't think the old guys go there anymore. There isn't the group of pickup trucks in the parking lot like there used to be.

Bit off-topic, but why is it that elderly folks are so fond of early mornings? Isn't a major draw of retirement, the option to sleep-in, and to stay-up until the early hours? It's almost as if these folks have a regular 9-5, and must resort of early-morning gathers as the only available time.

The same was true at the model airplane club that formerly I frequented. The fellows would be unloading their trucks, setting-up their aircraft, right at sunrise. By 9 am they were already packing up. Why so early?

2. one of two gyms: LA Fitness (pool), Planet Fitness (weights, machines and hydromassage chair)

Gym rat here as well, but gym is hardly "social". My only cause for interacting with anyone there, is to politely ask if they're done using a piece of equipment, or if I could share a station. Anything beyond that would be regarded as being too forward (it talking to a man) or too creepy (if talking to a woman).

 

[FIYes]

My second and third places include a walking trail and a local pub. I often meet and walk with people I’ve gotten to know on the trail. A weekly trivia team get together is another second/third place.

 

[ArmchairMillionaire]

Bit off-topic, but why is it that elderly folks are so fond of early mornings? Isn't a major draw of retirement, the option to sleep-in, and to stay-up until the early hours?

Beats me...

DMIL will be 71 this year. She still w*rks 2-3 days a week at Wal-Mart. On her days off, she still gets up at 3:30 a.m. or so.

I'm only 55, and for most of the last 30 years of my w*rking days when I was not travelling, I liked to start at 5 a.m. so I could be done by 3 or 3:30. Of course, I usually got up around 3:30 a.m.

Now that I'm retired, I usually sleep in until 5 or sometimes even 6 a.m. I couldn't tell you the last time I stayed awake until midnight.

 

[folivier]

I woke up at 5am when I was w*rking. Now I might still wake up but usually manage to go back to sleep for another hour or so. Bed time is 9:30 or sometimes a bit later.
But one thing I despise since I retired is when I have to go somewhere before 9 or 10am. I enjoy my lazy morning routine. Sip coffee, read email and forums, let my system do its thing.

 

[imjustawarrior]

Bit off-topic, but why is it that elderly folks are so fond of early mornings?

When they have dinner a 3:00 and go to bed at 6:00, of course they are going to get up early.

I like getting up early because I like to finish what I have to do early. Once the sun goes down, I'm in for the evening. I rarely go anywhere after dinner. I'm still in my 50s.

 

[Koolau]

Many older people don't need as much sleep. That tends to mean waking earlier - and then going to bet earlier. One of the "rhythms" of life, I suppose.

 

[Route246]

My man cave including ham shack, mini data center and office. Moving to a new one next year but it will still be 120 sq ft but laid out, planned and optimized.

 

[NW-Bound]

Nobody wants to go to the campus brewery, run very ably by our colleges of hospitality and agriculture. The result? I drink alone.

If we were in the same town, I might go have a drink with you. I never have a drinking buddy. I have a single true friend. Going back to HS, so that's 53 years. We see each other once every 4-5 years. Now, he's dying.

 

[zangbao]

Bit off-topic, but why is it that elderly folks are so fond of early mornings? Isn't a major draw of retirement, the option to sleep-in, and to stay-up until the early hours? It's almost as if these folks have a regular 9-5, and must resort of early-morning gathers as the only available time.

I'm not elderly yet I like to believe. I get up early so I can take advantage of the full day ahead of me. Even though most days I end up doing a whole lot of nothing.

 

[skyking1]

I am firmly in two place mode. Either the old home or the new one. Given the time spent, the 112 mile one way commute could count as a third place.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

If I'm not home, I'm probably at my church or my garden.

Same.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

When I was a kid in the 70's and 80's every small town in rural MN had a pool hall. These were old buildings run by a sole proprietor. Men of all ages hung out to play pool and cards. There was a silent code of ethics and honor, especially when the cards were dealt.

They served 3.2 beer, usually a cheap brand from an old tap. Also pop in 10 oz bottles. Typical candy & snacks and gut bomb sandwiches.

Slowly they disappeared. I realize now how important they were keeping us all connected in a small town.

 

[Gallaher]

First, home with my wife. We spend a crazy amount of time together. I’m good with it. She seems to be too.
Second, outside. Walking, biking gardening, building a pyramid in my yard.. i don’t know why
Third, hanging with all my musician friends. Bluegrass jamming. We play at local halls, homes, tavern etc. there’s about 20 of us regulars

 

[66Sally]

Pottery studio or church.

 

[Diogenes]

Now that I'm retired, I usually sleep in until 5 or sometimes even 6 a.m. I couldn't tell you the last time I stayed awake until midnight.

I like getting up early because I like to finish what I have to do early. Once the sun goes down, I'm in for the evening. I rarely go anywhere after dinner. I'm still in my 50s.

Wow... I can't recall an evening when I went to be before midnight. Maybe there was a red-eye flight or some other such exigency, but otherwise, I'm rarely in bed before 2 am. And if I see the sunrise, it's because I've not yet gone to bed. Mornings? Up by the crack of noon, or perhaps 9 am on days that I teach.

A major frustration is that in American society, restaurants or breweries generally close by 10 pm, sometimes even earlier. If I want food at 2 am, it's limited to Denny's.

And as for sunlight, my preference is to avoid it. Winters are nice, with their longer nights. I don't care for winter cold, but if it were feasible to live in a world completely devoid of natural lighting, sign me up!

 

[Gary Smith]

My third place is only accessible during the winter months in the backcountry at Mammoth Cave National Park. Known only to me and not even the Park Rangers are aware of it. Couldn’t begin to describe it and its cave-like formation in the side of a sinkhole. I have a chair permanently tucked away there where I will sit for hours taking in the landscape. Come to think of it, I have lots of special third places at the Park hidden away from everyone - waterfalls and the like. Below is a pic of another one of those special third places. Water flows into a cave at the bottom. Another world when you venture down there.

 

[TheWizard]

If we were in the same town, I might go have a drink with you. I never have a drinking buddy. I have a single true friend. Going back to HS, so that's 53 years. We see each other once every 4-5 years. Now, he's dying.

I hit my old campus pub two or three times a year when I'm in the area for something. Obviously not frequently enough to have any lasting connection with other attendees...

https://muddy.mit.edu/

 

[Allytx]

My second place is probably the local women’s club, which hosts many of the monthly groups in which I'm a member. I probably spend 6-7 lunches/dinners a month there.

My third place is our museum, which holds educational and informative social occasions 2-3 times monthly . I used to be on the advisory board, and still spend lots of time there.

My 4th place would be my daughter’s home, about an hour away. As our grandchildren have grown up, it is more likely that my daughter will now come to us now.

 

[Steelpony]

Quite a contrast: A coffeehouse or library in the winter and our dockside bar during boating season when the local population swells with boaters and vacationers. I play poker, somedays it’s easy money.