Why aren’t more folks FIRE?

MrBojangles

Recycles dryer sheets
Joined
Apr 26, 2025
Messages
211
Location
Southeastern Pennsylvania
I post this because, admittedly, in a recent post, I lamented that why aren’t I, and most others with a decent education, basically bonkers, over the top rich, through incredible extremely high paying corporate jobs (ideally laid back, WFH, too). But I wanted to address something I touched upon and why I’m FIRE, or at least on that track, even if I don’t retire until about age 57. I’m FIRE because I’m of more modest income and learned early on the only way to have anything is to invest aggressively, and save a lot. I saved because nothing in my more modest income realm of affordability interested me, and so I didn’t do any over the top spending. Nice homes on lots of land, impressive places overlooking the water, artwork collected by the ultra rich, antique and rare automobiles are all of interest, but way off the radar screen. High end new mass produced junk for the masses never interested me (think gated communities, luxury automobiles, etc) and so I’ve lived modestly, and very comfortably too, I might add. TV with a modest size screen works fine, the house is climate controlled (heat and A/C), I actually enjoy doing the lawn and landscaping, so don’t hire out for that, low end 4 WD vehicles (mine has crank windows and is stick shift) are paid for.

So, where does it go if you aren’t FIRE? When you are starting out it’s rough, it was for me, it is for others, and I pity those trying to purchase a house for the first time in today’s market. (And why it has to be rough starting out is a sore point with me—start the young out with extremely high paying jobs so they can buy houses and stimulate the economy). But, once you have been working for a few decades and hopefully didn’t get scammed by the overpriced cost of child care in this country and/or crater to Junior’s pleas that he needs that expensive college degree—or a degree at all—and your help paying for it—where does it all go? (And another aside, colleges are so expensive because they sell a product that is more of a lifestyle at the higher end and require Junior to pay for it, as well as the parents, grandparents, and that uncle you haven’t spoken to in over 15 years. If they had less bells and whistles, fewer administrators, and based on what Junior alone could pay for, the cost would be far more modest).

But back to the original topic. If you have a decent college degree and a spouse does as well, you both are going to earn the high 5 figures or crack 6 figures in income. In my case, and probably most others who didn’t trade up houses over the years, a monthly payment might be 2k a month, taxes and insurance 10 -12 k, utilities and other expenses put you at maybe 20k. Then you have groceries, entertainment, travel/vacations, etc, but having said that, even after accounting for income taxes, there’s still quite a bit left over.

So, where does it all go? I’m surprised to see some folks even my age living on the edge and worrying about can I ever retire?

And, I’ll add a little story. The most TOXIC co worker my wife ever had was a woman who was handed money from her parents. Used that, and a lot more, to go on vacation all the time, when back immediately got on the work computer to plan the next big escape. I had to listen to why don’t we do this, why don’t we do that, etc. Fortunately, she left for another job within a year, and that ended.

And my wife’s sister and her husband are of modest means (nurse and computers), live in a townhouse, and are traveling to Europe the second time in a year soon and spent a week in Florida a few weeks ago (I cannot recall a vacation of more than 3 or 4 days in a long time). Perhaps this is where it all goes to.

I put the maximum towards retirement, thereby decreasing my available income and still a lot left over. Maybe I’m boring…
 
To your question of why aren't we all rich, I guess we have to define "rich" and I've never been able to do that. I look at where I came from and I still can't believe where I ended up. I live "modestly" in a HCOL area - if that makes any sense. I always say "I have 'enough'". Compared to "the World" I AM rich indeed. Compared to my fellow countrymen, I'm well off but plenty of folks live more expensive life styles than I do.

So, it can get very philosophical. I still come back to being very happy with what I have and I hope to help others as often as possible. YMMV
 
If I could sum it up: most live beyond their means and take on debt, with only concern for monthly payments. Delayed gratification is out of the question. New cars every 2 or 3 years with a "monthly payment only $50 more." There's no thought about interest. Extend this to homes and all the junk or "experiences" bought on credit cars (that monthly payment, again).

Investing? Where's the money for that? Come on, man! Those Taylor Swift tickets are expensive!

Fin.
 
Oversave and invest aggressively now and by the time you FIRE, you may be able to overspend on luxury items you never dreamed you'd ever own, and still increase your net worth every year.
 
I think scarcity of FIRE for 2 overall reasons.
One is living beyond one's means. The 2nd one is more interesting. Most folks still believe that the normal retirement age is still around 65, so are afraid to go earlier, plus a secondary reason is what will they do with all that free time.
 
If I could sum it up: most live beyond their means and take on debt, with only concern for monthly payments. Delayed gratification is out of the question. New cars every 2 or 3 years with a "monthly payment only $50 more." There's no thought about interest. Extend this to homes and all the junk or "experiences" bought on credit cars (that monthly payment, again).

Investing? Where's the money for that? Come on, man! Those Taylor Swift tickets are expensive!

Fin.
Yes, I forgot about “experiences” costing a lot, something I had forgotten about. Some spend a lot for that stuff. The reality is, most of these experiences can be seen on television and you have a front row seat all the time and don’t miss out on anything.

However, I did see Willie Nelson in concert in 1994 for $20 at a university and don’t regret that. Bob Dylan, too.
 
A lot of folks never even think about FIRE because they’re busy keeping up with everyone else, bigger house, fancier car, pricier vacations. If you never hit the brakes on spending, your paycheck just flows right out the door.
You and your wife have set things up smart: modest home, paid‑off car, maxing out retirement. That “boring” life actually gives you freedom later. Meanwhile, friends blow money on trips, gadgets, coffee runs, and wonder why they’re still paycheck‑to‑paycheck at 50.
 
I agree with hesperus’s point that many people do not think about FIRE. But I do not agree it is necessarily for ‘keeping up with the Jonses’

Most people do not set a personal target for FIRE. Going on vacation, bigger house, etc is viewed as a part of living as is saving for retirement. The trade off for the early spending is not internalized or understood. Retirement at any age is expected to somehow just work out.

I was lucky to get a wake-up call at 35. I expect I would have retired OK but not at 54 without that wake-up call.

So while balancing spending and saving is critical, my thought is that financial education for retirement is poorly done by parents, school, and self. The concept that retirement is more age related than income needs to be changed and people need to be educated on the consequence of their spending in their strong earning years.
 
Living below one's means and planning for FIRE is crucial. Most people don't do that. For high earners or inheritors, it's a bit easier, but one still has to live below one's means. We've never been high earners, but we have always been frugal and followed the path of our parents, both sets retiring at age 55. They had the benefit of pensions, but we had the benefit of knowing that we didn't have pensions and had to rely upon what we could accrue and turn into a stream of income.
 
I know many many wealthy people and almost all still working in their 60's and 70's. They just can't stop and could have years ago.
Most don't believe anyone can do their job but them they have an ego. Lol
I also people love what they do and just don't have anything else but work so they carry on. IMO only.
 
For many, they don’t have the self discipline to live below their means, or were taught to do this. However, I believe that only a modest slice of the population can have the high education, very well paying work that you describe. Most jobs simply do not pay that well. Getting the education and nice housing is proportionally more expensive than when we were young, too.
 
I think there are many people that are financially able to ER and don't.

Some say "I don't know what I'd do all day" Well, if you don't know what you'll do all day if you retire at 55, you won't know what to do when you're 65. And, you'll likely be a lot healthier at 55 and physically able to do more and enjoy it more.

Another group won't retire or step down from their high profile position. It is who they are. To them I can only offer what many high profile retirees eventually learn. Nobody cares.
 
I think a lot of kids are entitled and expect to have the same quality of their parents had when they moved away from home. At that point the parents were likely in their peak earning years and could afford more house, toys and experiences.
We told our kids that we were poor when we met in grad school and didn’t make very much either while in grad school, so they have an understanding of that life hasn’t always been the way that they are experiencing now.
 
Debt is a financial crippler. Some people start out in the hole, and it becomes a chronic state. Moreover, a lot of the same people get ripped off by the system at every turn because their credit is weak. They're deer in the headlights of the American economy.
 
I think there are many people that are financially able to ER and don't.

Some say "I don't know what I'd do all day" Well, if you don't know what you'll do all day if you retire at 55, you won't know what to do when you're 65. And, you'll likely be a lot healthier at 55 and physically able to do more and enjoy it more.

Another group won't retire or step down from their high profile position. It is who they are. To them I can only offer what many high profile retirees eventually learn. Nobody cares.
I have a friend whose grandfather who had been a doctor died. He inherited millions. Shortly thereafter his FIL also a doctor died and he inherited millions more. He never told me how much, but based on some statements I figured he had $8m + in his 40’s. I told him he should retire. His answer was always I wouldn’t know what to do.
 
For many, they don’t have the self discipline to live below their means, or were taught to do this. However, I believe that only a modest slice of the population can have the high education, very well paying work that you describe. Most jobs simply do not pay that well. Getting the education and nice housing is proportionally more expensive than when we were young, too.
It seems that if you have a decent degree, or are a tradesman, or work for a decent company with overtime available, and are willing to move for a job opportunity, that it would be nearly impossible to not earn at least in the $80,000 to $90,000 range with 20 or more years experience. Some get out of college earning that. The key is the willingness to move. I only knew where I grew up, got out of college, and thought that’s where I’ll stay. The market there could care less that I had a college degree, and opportunities were close to minimum wage with no benefits. In fact, my degree gave me less opportunities than others because I was over educated for most jobs.

I know how bad it is there now because I bought a house there cheaply enough and intended to move back decades ago, thinking an improving job market meant I could do that. Well, a rising tide does not raise all ships. So I’ve had tenants who are of the absolute worst kind. I’ve learned that who you want to rent to—newly married professionals starting out—doesn’t exist. They’ve been driven out like me. Trust fund babies own their own places. Which means that you are left renting to low income dregs who can’t afford to live there and should have moved out a long time ago for better opportunities.

Where I came from, sad to say, is a good place to VISIT. You have to move for opportunities or even to survive!
 
It seems that if you have a decent degree, or are a tradesman, or work for a decent company with overtime available, and are willing to move for a job opportunity, that it would be nearly impossible to not earn at least in the $80,000 to $90,000 range with 20 or more years experience. Some get out of college earning that. The key is the willingness to move. I only knew where I grew up, got out of college, and thought that’s where I’ll stay. The market there could care less that I had a college degree, and opportunities were close to minimum wage with no benefits. In fact, my degree gave me less opportunities than others because I was over educated for most jobs.

I know how bad it is there now because I bought a house there cheaply enough and intended to move back decades ago, thinking an improving job market meant I could do that. Well, a rising tide does not raise all ships. So I’ve had tenants who are of the absolute worst kind. I’ve learned that who you want to rent to—newly married professionals starting out—doesn’t exist. They’ve been driven out like me. Trust fund babies own their own places. Which means that you are left renting to low income dregs who can’t afford to live there and should have moved out a long time ago for better opportunities.

Where I came from, sad to say, is a good place to VISIT. You have to move for opportunities or even to survive!
Interesting point. I discovered right away that the path to higher income in my first job out of college was the willingness to move to a larger sales territory as you progressed. I ended up moving twice in the first 9 years with the company. I was the youngest sales rep to sell a million, than 2 million and eventually 3 million. Back in the late 80’s, early 90’s those were big numbers and the income that produced provided the seed money for me to eventually start my own business. So you’re right. Moving made all the difference. I ended up not retiring in any of the towns I made my most money in. They were stepping stones.
 
Some people have expensive habits. Boats, planes, cars, houses, travel, etc. Their expenses are out of control and they don't save enough to retire early. So they have to keep working past what we consider normal retirement age.
 
Interesting point. I discovered right away that the path to higher income in my first job out of college was the willingness to move to a larger sales territory as you progressed. I ended up moving twice in the first 9 years with the company. I was the youngest sales rep to sell a million, than 2 million and eventually 3 million. Back in the late 80’s, early 90’s those were big numbers and the income that produced provided the seed money for me to eventually start my own business. So you’re right. Moving made all the difference. I ended up not retiring in any of the towns I made my most money in. They were stepping stones.
It sucked and I didn’t want to do it. And wasn’t planning on doing it. I got a job offer from the Federal government out of the blue 3 years after I applied and wasn’t going to take it and my father said I was doing it and that was that. As, with a college degree, because of my wages, I was not independent. For some reason, I thought I would be sorely missed. Now I know virtually no one where I grew up and few would know I was a native son.

Northwest Connecticut, very beautiful, because not ruined by industry. But, nowhere to work, nothing I could even find being willing to drive to Hartford. The charm is a death knell for those needing viable work unless you want to work for someone else peddling wares to weekenders from NYC who actually spend very little. It was a slow death.🤣
 
However, I did see Willie Nelson in concert in 1994 for $20 at a university and don’t regret that. Bob Dylan, too.
Inflation adjusted $45 or so. That's reasonable.

We all need experiences. They cost some money. I guaranty a young person that they will remember the view from a local mountain, or beach, as much as they will shaking it off with Taylor. Oh, I've heard parents say that they bonded with their teen. I think there are other ways to do that without spending $1100 per ticket. (1)

Your teen will eventually want to put a bag over their head when the other kids mentioned you and mom saw the concert together. It will be memorable, but the joy will reverse. This is the normal way of being a teen.

Sorry I got off on that tangent. It is just one of many things. Don't deny experiences. They are incredibly important to all of us. Just pick them right.

(1) SOURCE: How much it costs to be a Taylor Swift fan
 
We struggled financially when we were young and had kids. Debt is expensive! We contributed the company matched max to the 401k, but that was about it.

But at some point, we went from paying interest to getting paid interest. Once we got a taste of that, we were on our way. We LBOM in our 40's and ealry/mid 50's and had enough to have the option to retire.

Why don't most folks ER? Different reasons, some beyond their control.
 
Back
Top Bottom