Your Identity in retirement.

old medic

Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
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1,915
I have read many post about folks retiring, concerned about their life, who they are, what they have become.... So I figured I would share my day.....
Woke up about 530, turned on the news and started coffee....
DW gets up at 6... it's Monday and gets ready for work....
She got out the makings for Pot Roast yesterday, so I drag out the Insta-Pot and start searing the meat' prepping stuff to slow cook it all day....
Winter storm has blown thru, strip the bed and gather laundry... was hanging 1st load out on the line when my brain twisted this way.... Get the 1st load in and hang out the 2nd.... Make the bed and start folding clothes....
I swear if this was a party line instead of the internet.....

I would be a 1950's House Wife
 
I’ve been cleaning and cooking for five years since retirement (literally just started the dishwasher). She still works because she enjoys it. It works out well and things chug along. Hmm… where did I put my apron? :)
 
Over the years, I've been trying to disentangle my career from my job - whether employed full time, part time, or not at all. My career is fundamentally who I am, and that by which it would be desirable to be remembered. My job is/was just a source of funds, and maybe some socializing. One question in retirement, whether semi-retired or fully, is how to continue the career, without having a job... how to stay present and engaged in my profession, without having a W2 or 1099 or any formal trade of labor for lucre.

This thread is recent, but as it gathers posts, we can predict that most folks' "identity" will have strong dependency on family or home. Jones is, or was, a medical doctor. But Jones is also a wife, a grandmother, a sister, an aunt. Jones has a beautiful home, where she gardens and raises chickens and decorates according to her new hobby, glasswork. Jones no longer identifies with a white coat and stethoscope. Instead she identifies with colorful chandeliers that she made herself, hanging in the family-room... and with the family that gathers there.

It's a bit different for solitary retirees living in apartments. My friend Bruce (real name) was a theater set designer and a bit of an artist. Between declining health and tightening economy, he had to retire... somewhat early (62-63). He mismanaged his finances, and now can't even afford to buy materials to do oil-paintings in his apartment. It's been over a decade. He is completely adrift, sinking into senescence. His prime hope, is that he body gives-out, before his mind. His only human contact is the Area Agency on Aging (he and I are 2500 miles apart).

So if it isn't family, home or career... what is it?
 
Got up at 6:30 drank coffee, read news (fake and otherwise). Check stock market. Got to the home gym by 8:30, an hour of misery.
Ate a bowl of oatmeal took a shower. Texted with a buddy re: his dad’s funeral on Wednesday.
I’m going to go practice the fiddle for a few hours, I want to win the State title in a couple of months.
Going to Church early afternoon to help with charity food give away until about 6:30. Come home practice the fiddle, I want to win the State title in a couple of months.
Same as most days and exactly what I want to do.
 
I cook for DW, which I generally enjoy. I volunteer quite a bit, probably three days a week when I'm busy.
 
I'm known as "the old guy in the neighborhood that walks his dog each day in the dark with a flashlight". Few have seen me in the light of day. Once is a while I do walk the guy in the daytime but everyone around here is at work or at school then.

While I had an identity when in my working life, I am now a slug that meets almost daily with a dozen or so other 70 - 80 year old slugs for coffee at 7:00 AM at Whataburger. We sit and tell stories, insult each other (playfully) and talk about how our families can't get along without our guidance and support. Then I vanish into the abyss to charge my flashlight for the next dark dog walk and read a book or watch the Weather Channel (muting the commercials).

Occasionally, I go to the grocery store to buy the weeks rations. No one there knows me. Even when I go to the gym to punish myself, I am a loner of sorts as everyone there could be my child or grandchild. Crazy.

The only living being that really knows me is my dog, although my 45 year old daughter makes me believe she does. That's because she knows she will inherit my stash someday!

I cook for myself, clean the house and pay the bills electronically. No more wives are in my forecast as I am done taking care of sick old people (or the other way around).

When the weather gets nicer, I will start playing golf again as an "Old Timer" and play from the "front tees" (formally known as the Ladies Tees). Some of my slug friends will join me and we get special times when the real people are not playing (generally Thursday AM).
 
I am 60 and retired at 57. We had huge snow a few days ago. When I woke up at 10:30AM two days ago and saw that one of my 66 years old friend called me at 8:05AM. (I set my phone in silent mode.) I called back and he said there was a power-outage at about 8:00AM and he could not open his garage door to go to work. I told him that I was sleeping and did not know it. (The outage just lasted a short time period). He was very much surprised that I was still sleeping at that very "late" time.
My friend is a professor at a medical school and probably has more money than I do. I have no idea why he still works and I know he does not love his job, just like the easy money.
I woke up at 1:30PM today, so I really don't know my identity in retirement.
 
Woke ~5am. Out of bed 15 minutes later and made coffee, puttered on the computer and guitar a bit and made salad dressing while sipping, talked to my dad on the phone, worked out and ran, showered, made and ate lunch, did a yoga nidra session and zoned out for a while after lunch. Going to sort out some stuff around the house before bowling league this evening. Energy level is a bit off today due to a very busy weekend ending in a late night yesterday - it's overcast and relatively chilly which makes me lazier too.

I don't have a label for my identity. I never defined myself by my job and if asked what I am I'd probably say a 50 year old guy.
 
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I called back and he said there was a power-outage at about 8:00AM and he could not open his garage door to go to work.
Did you tell him how to use the emergency release so he can open his garage door when the power is out? ;)
 
Did you tell him how to use the emergency release so he can open his garage door when the power is out? ;)
No. He probably wanted me to help him open the garage door as our houses are about 5 minutes of walk away.
 
"....one of my 66 years old friend called me at 8:05AM."

I am retired, and anyone who knows me knows better than to call me at 8:05 AM. (Even if they did, the phone is turned off at night, so I wouldn't hear the call). I go to bed late and I get up late, and that's just the way I like it. I worked for 48 years, and had to adhere to other people's schedules. No more....I set my own weird schedule and that's that.
 
Even though I had a successful career, my identity was never tied to my job. My identity did not change once I retired.

My DW and I give our spoiled little man 3-4 walks a day. I know everyone in the neighborhood. I also organize a block party every year. A couple people call me "the mayor."
 
I have read many post about folks retiring, concerned about their life, who they are, what they have become.... So I figured I would share my day.....
Woke up about 530, turned on the news and started coffee....
DW gets up at 6... it's Monday and gets ready for work....
She got out the makings for Pot Roast yesterday, so I drag out the Insta-Pot and start searing the meat' prepping stuff to slow cook it all day....
Winter storm has blown thru, strip the bed and gather laundry... was hanging 1st load out on the line when my brain twisted this way.... Get the 1st load in and hang out the 2nd.... Make the bed and start folding clothes....
I swear if this was a party line instead of the internet.....

I would be a 1950's House Wife
I do all the laundry in my household. Besides some folks want a 1950's house wife.:ermm::ermm:
 
I'm low key try to fly under the radar. My AKA is outdoorsman's. Who I once was identified as was a job and career I will always cherish that profession.
Now I really don't have an identity but would like to be known at that old guy that lives in the hills. LOL
 
I'm the old guy that rides a little Suzuki 650 when the rest of the old guys all ride Harley or Gold Wing. :LOL:
 
After 30 years of working in accounting/finance with the last 20 as COO, I enjoy my retirement. Currently 54 (retired at 52). I play golf 3 days a week and doubles tennis about 4-5 times a week. I love cooking, jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles and reading. I no longer go to bed re-thinking the decisions I made at work or the issues I need to deal with tomorrow. I think my identity revolves around my goals. My long term goals are to become a single digit handicap and get better at tennis.
 
We have a housecleaner every two weeks to do the dusting, vacuuming, hardwood amd tile floors, baths, etc. I do just about everything else as my wife has mobility issues...shopping, laundry, making the bed, meal prep, dishwasher, etc. She doesn't drive anymore :bow: so I also play chauffeur.

Edit: RetiredHappy's post reminded me that we also farm out lawn cutting/weeding, snow removal and mosquito comtrol.
 
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Both of us are golfers in retirement. We have hired out housecleaning service, yard service, pool service, pest control service and handyman for small jobs. My husband does the laundry and I cook occassionally.
 
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It took me about 3 years to stop being "on vacation" and come down to earth.

I believe the key however is to reach a point where you forget that you even had a job unless reminded. At that point you're "you" and not what the job was.
 
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I went from the job to raising kids, so the 6-6:30 a.m. wake up didn't change until the last one left 18 months ago. Was also married during the latter part of that and the day included cooking and laundry for 3 of us.

Now it's go to bed when I decide the day is done and get up after 7.5-8+ hours in the rack but usually out of bed by 9.

I met my responsibilities when it mattered and still do for an early commitment. Just book fewer of them than before. Now that there are few, I'm taking advantage of it:)
 
8
It took me about 3 years to stop being "on vacation" and come down to earth.
It took about 3-mos for me. The day after the last day we took off on a 10-12 week RV trip thru the upper midwest, the crown jewel of which was walking across the Mackinac Bridge on Labor Day. By the time we returned home I was in full retirement mode. :clap:

Mackinac Bridge Walk
 
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