Similar situation with my DW. She hasn't worked for 5 years, and balked at me retiring even with 100% FIRECALC success for the past 4 years. Why leave a good job with high pay and great benefits?
I finally put my foot down, had a meltdown and temper tantrum, and threatened to leave in June. I was at the point that I was going to quit, with her or without her permission. She sat down with the basic asset, pension, ss #s, worked out her plan, and agreed to my ending work in December.
You may have parallels to my situation :
1. DW didn't ask for my permission to quit work 5 years ago. I wanted her to keep working, and contribute, but accepted what she did. Did your DH ask permission to quit working ?
2. I am not a slave or somebody's horse to keep pulling the plow around the field so that someone else will feel 200% safe financially. You are not a slave either.
3. I have worked hard and have a right to enjoy the fruits of my labors while I still have the health to enjoy them. I'm not a horse to be worked until I drop.
4. I felt anger, sadness, depression. It put a big wedge between my wife and I. However, I was persistent, and kept bringing it up. Thankfully, the love and reason we were together in the first place won out, and we seem to be getting through this. Be persistent, don't give up.
Interestingly, I was having a conversation with my FIL this weekend so I see where my DW got her thinking. FIL strongly encourages me to use that "great education I have" and continue pulling in the big salary for another year, or even longer. He is depression era guy, and can't see the sense in ever willingly giving up a good paying job. Even when I layed out some of our financial details, he is all for me continuing to work.