adjusting to all this time

R

rickd

Confused about dryer sheets
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Messages
3
Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
 
rickd said:
Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
Click to expand...

Personally I have been extremely fortunate. During my six months of retirement so far, the adjustment has gone pretty well and I don't miss work. However, my dear friend Frank (retired 3 months) is working through a few things, I think mainly related to his desire to accomplish something. He thought of some projects (building some bookcases and turning one of his bedrooms into a workshop) and he seems to be getting that sense of accomplishment from these tasks. I hope so, anyway.

I am thinking that maybe you need some structure to your day. How about joining a gym, or taking classes, and sticking to a schedule while meeting people that way? Or perhaps you could volunteer. There are so many wonderful ways to develop a routine and meet people.
 
rickd said:
Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
Click to expand...


Wecome ! I also missed the social aspect of my job so I joined a gym and went to a class a few days a week . This accomplished both getting some social contact and losing some weight . I have been retired two years and my life is still evolving .
 
W2R said:
I am thinking that maybe you need some structure to your day. How about joining a gym, or taking classes, and sticking to a schedule while meeting people that way? Or perhaps you could volunteer. There are so many wonderful ways to develop a routine and meet people.
Click to expand...

I have been RE'ed 4 months and this is exactly what we did. Our main goal is to stay fit and healthy to enjoy lots of long vacations.

We quickly got into a great routine with our local YMCA. At $80/month we can attend as many classes as we want and have unlimited use of the well equipped gym and pool.

Every morning we go and do a class or execise and spend time socializing in the common area drinking coffee. We have met LOADS of interesting people from all over the world. We've also started playing tennis which is a different circle of friends.

We had our first long trip end of April. Rented a small 2 bed house in Colorado for a month and lived in the small town, mostly hiking in the mountains and other low cost stuff. Totally different change of pace.

Next week we are off to England and in September we have a house rented in Canada for a month.

This lifestyle is something we have planned for years and so far it is suiting us just fine.
 
I'm 55 & 5 mos. ER. I'm not missing work at all. I've got a big yard & backlog of to dos on house so that keeps me very busy for quite awhile. I think I was really ready to stop working so I'm really happy to be unstructured.
 
I ERed about 10 years ago, and the thing I missed most about working was receiving friendly emails most days thanking me for doing whatever I did. I began volunteering for an organization that wanted a web site, etc., and suddenly the thankful emails resumed, without the job pressure.
Like others above I also began going to the gym every morning with my DH, and this routine made me more comfortable in my new life, and we made some new friends as well. Of course whenever I want to go somewhere I can drop this routine in a second and just take off. Ahhhh.
 
rickd said:
Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
Click to expand...
What about all the suggestions & links you were referred to eight months ago? How did those work out?

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f47/faq-archive-but-what-will-i-do-all-day-30655.html

Because otherwise what you're doing is posting essentially the same question as you did eight months ago without any other feedback or amplification. It's hard to see how you expect to get better answers than you got last time. If you want more perspective then give us something to work with.

If you miss the "routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job", and if you're unable to recreate that environment on your own (with or without this board's help), then why not just go out and get a job? You'll be able to quickly decide how valuable that work routine is to your life.
 
We decided up front we needed a couple years to decompress and agreed we would not leap into any new plans or commitments until that time was up.

We needed time to get used to our new lifestyle (which was a more intense adjustment than we'd even anticipated) and we wanted to make a thoughtful choice about the next stage of our lives.

Maybe you just need to cut yourself some slack and take a forced sabbatical before you figure out what the next section of your life is going to look like.
 
Obviously you enjoyed your work to some degree, unlike many of us that were burned out and ready to start enjoying life. For many of us, it is quite a relief to be away from the daily grind and even people interactions we grew very tired of. I must admit, even on my worst day it is better than the work I was doing. In your case, of course, much different. And the adjustment much harder. You have to somehow replace the positive aspects of your job. Many good ideas have been suggested. Spending more time with family and friends has been one of my most fulfilling pursuits for me. (Retired at 55, 18 months ago)
 
Opposite problem here after my first two months of ESR: Working 2 days a week mostly, I find I am enjoying my unstructured time so much that I resent work's intrusion into my newly available free time.

I am willingly becoming a lazy bum. Sleeping in, jogging, camping, working on the RV, golf, days by the pool with guacamole (DW's home made stuff, garlic to near toxic levels) and chips. Visited kids twice already, more visits planned.

I have a remedy in the works for readjusting my time but I made a commitment for at least a few more months.

What were we talking about again? Oh yeah - not enough structured time for the OP. Toughly worded as Nords' reply was, he makes a good point - I don't see where the OP has taken any steps to fix his situation on his own, and can't see why getting a new part-time low stress job or volunteer position wouldn't work wonders.

Not to be unsympathetic, and there may be logistic or emotional reasons why that hasn't been done, but many people would trade situations in a heartbeat.
 
Rich_in_Tampa said:
Opposite problem here after my first two months of ESR: Working 2 days a week mostly, I find I am enjoying my unstructured time so much that I resent work's intrusion into my newly available free time.
Click to expand...

This might be a sign that you are more ready to retire than you thought. (?) Definitely worth paying attention to this response and considering what this might mean to you.
 
Rich_in_Tampa said:
Opposite problem here after my first two months of ESR:
Click to expand...
Rich, I think the FDA is ready to endorse the results of the clinical trials and approve your antidote for "just one more year" syndrome...
 
Nords said:
Rich, I think the FDA is ready to endorse the results of the clinical trials and approve your antidote for "just one more year" syndrome...
Click to expand...
Yes, this might be the moment where everyone gets to say "told you so."

I think W2R is right - I was readier to retire than I realized. But it's still early. Almost like a third party, I watch myself morphing - just not sure where it will settle. Just know I'm enjoying it more than I thought it would. And Martha was right, too. It's all about time - having it, that is.
 
rickd said:
Hi Everyone,
I'm 55 years old and have been retired for 9 months. Mentally, I have'nt handled this new life style very well. I miss the routine of going to work and the social aspects of the job. My question-when does one fully adjust to the new life style? Are others having any similar problems adjusting?
Click to expand...
Welcome to the forum. :flowers:
I oscilated between jackrabbit activity seeking and almost hermit-like periods over the last 3 years. What I have found to be very useful is to enter "things to do" into my email Calendar as I think of them, with weekly reminders on different days. So if I am sitting around twiddling my thumbs, a nice little DING will come up and give me a suggestion. I either defer it or do it.
I would suggest doing something similar. Start with a list (on paper or on your computer), jotting down as they pop into your head. :D
 
I can't wait to see how I fare with the problem of having too much free time! Or will it even be a problem?
 
thanks

Thanks everyone for your fine suggestions. I'm learning that retirement is a process that evolves. Looking forward to spending some of my new found time on this site
 
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