Done!

[ziggy29]

... but had enough with these BS metrics...

Oh, can I ever feel your pain. In my last several years of Megacorp employment, I was on a "business intelligence" team responsible for our data warehouse and management/executive reporting. I primarily worked in the area of customer satisfaction with our tech support teams but also did some work on general support metrics as well.

What got crazy was, every time some higher-up muckety-muck decided something was a problem, or an area they wanted to concentrate on improving, their first thought was always, "there has to be a metric" for this. And even if it wasn't something can be easily measured in a number, they VERY often came to the BI team asking for our help in creating new contrived metrics based off of other data in our data warehouse. It didn't matter how much we may have sometimes told them that what they wanted to do wasn't really a suitable "metric" for what they were seeking, and we'd give them best practices info out there in the BI community, but they didn't care. "My VP wants it", and that was the end of it.

And don't get me started on some of the requests for statistically invalid "data mining" we got all the time!

I know metrics can be (and often are) very useful for management but the slavish devotion to them, even insisting on applying them *everywhere* even when it wasn't really applicable, drove me up the wall.

 

[ttvjef]

Wonderful! I've been ER since October 9, 2015 at 53. The first few weeks felt strange, in that I thought I should be doing something. As more time is passing, I'm getting a nice routine and beginning inquires to some volunteer activities to stay engaged.
Contrats! Now you have time to enjoy the next phase of your life.

 

[martyp]

Congratulations. Be prepared for the longest 2 months of your life.

 

[Trooper]

Congrats Abbvie! And thanks for starting a great thread. I'm near the end myself and some of the thought/concerns resonate with me. But it seems like it's just a matter of time 'til the ultimate glide path

 

[Trooper]

Oh, can I ever feel your pain. In my last several years of Megacorp employment, I was on a "business intelligence" team responsible for our data warehouse and management/executive reporting. I primarily worked in the area of customer satisfaction with our tech support teams but also did some work on general support metrics as well.

What got crazy was, every time some higher-up muckety-muck decided something was a problem, or an area they wanted to concentrate on improving, their first thought was always, "there has to be a metric" for this. And even if it wasn't something can be easily measured in a number, they VERY often came to the BI team asking for our help in creating new contrived metrics based off of other data in our data warehouse. It didn't matter how much we may have sometimes told them that what they wanted to do wasn't really a suitable "metric" for what they were seeking, and we'd give them best practices info out there in the BI community, but they didn't care. "My VP wants it", and that was the end of it.

And don't get me started on some of the requests for statistically invalid "data mining" we got all the time!

I know metrics can be (and often are) very useful for management but the slavish devotion to them, even insisting on applying them *everywhere* even when it wasn't really applicable, drove me up the wall.

L M A O!!! This is my world right now, until I pull the trigger.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "if it can be measured it can be improved"...

 

[Tailgate]

Congratulations. Be prepared for the longest 2 months of your life.

+1

 

[rdy2go]

Congratulations! When I get more demands for projections and justifications for whatever the newest metric is I reply with the wisdom that is attributed to various people -

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."

That tends to piss them off but deep down they know it is correct, but they won't admit it.

 

[abbvie]

Oh, can I ever feel your pain. In my last several years of Megacorp employment, I was on a "business intelligence" team responsible for our data warehouse and management/executive reporting. I primarily worked in the area of customer satisfaction with our tech support teams but also did some work on general support metrics as well.

What got crazy was, every time some higher-up muckety-muck decided something was a problem, or an area they wanted to concentrate on improving, their first thought was always, "there has to be a metric" for this. And even if it wasn't something can be easily measured in a number, they VERY often came to the BI team asking for our help in creating new contrived metrics based off of other data in our data warehouse. It didn't matter how much we may have sometimes told them that what they wanted to do wasn't really a suitable "metric" for what they were seeking, and we'd give them best practices info out there in the BI community, but they didn't care. "My VP wants it", and that was the end of it.

And don't get me started on some of the requests for statistically invalid "data mining" we got all the time!

I know metrics can be (and often are) very useful for management but the slavish devotion to them, even insisting on applying them *everywhere* even when it wasn't really applicable, drove me up the wall.

Thank you for your thoughts and input. Right now it's just X mark the spot for me & they know it.

 

[Sycamore]

Abbvie,

After a long day of dealing with BS metrics and unattainable goals I have to say your post last week sure resonates with me. I have to slug it out a little longer, but your post is inspiring.

Best of Luck

 

[rdy2go]

Every year at this time of year, we have to write up projections for next year that no one will look at once they are submitted. We work on these worthless reports and then someone higher up will tell the branch manager that the numbers we came up with as an honest projection are not"what they wanted to see". So, next year just tell us what you want to see and we'll do the pretending in advance.

 

[Markola]

Every year at this time of year, we have to write up projections for next year that no one will look at once they are submitted. We work on these worthless reports and then someone higher up will tell the branch manager that the numbers we came up with as an honest projection are not"what they wanted to see". So, next year just tell us what you want to see and we'll do the pretending in advance.

Ain't it the truth. I lead all fundraising for national Mega Nonprofit. Sr. leadership basically views us as Accounts Receivable rather than Charitable Gifts. I submitted numbers showing 20% growth next year if all goes perfectly. Nope, those projections were instantly tossed out and ridiculed, then we were given 70% one year growth numbers due to the org's budget gaps and, of course, no new resources. CFO was just fired for said mismanagement, and I don't mean FIREd. Should be an interesting year. Fortunately for me, the supply of people willing to make a career out of shooting for such professional "metrics" in desperate, poorly-managed, chaotic nonprofits is very limited. At my senior level, it becomes a game of always having a foot on another lilly pad or two, just in case, while playing mind games to maintain one's original idealism about mission delivery and service. Hence, I was invited to lunch on Tuesday to hear about the wonderful opportunities shaping up at another mega nonprofit, from which various others I know wish they could flee. This is the second such lunch invitation in two months and head hunters call steadily. Fortunately, DW and I have a 50% savings rate and have crossed a basic FI threshold, allowing some confidence and the ability to laugh off some of the w*rk lunacy. If I do leap to another lilly pad, I think it will be for a more basic position with a sane manager, as long as they last, where I can keep my head down and do my work. Pardon the off-topic rant but this metrics sub-topic hit a nerve. Big congrats to the OP and I plan to join you soon, according to my plan.


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[darmstrong]

The endless bean counting .. Yes that's what is most frustrating .. Not everything needs a measurement .. Some good cooks put a dash of this and a pinch of that and you come with a new creation . Thinking outside the box is a lost art .looking forward to fire!


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[abbvie]

Given $6K for retirement send off. I told them to shove it (ha ha). I just took 12 of my direct reports out for a farewell lunch, on me. What a good feeling! Thank you for your thoughts. Thinking about a road trip to the keys before the sea takes it (God forbid).

 

[FIREd]

Congratulations and enjoy your retirement.

 

[darmstrong]

Congratulations on Fire!!


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