Hi - I'm Early semi-retired... and feeling guilty.

[copyright1997reloaded]

Much of the time, I end up feeling guilty, however. During the days of work, I would long for break time: time to just catch up on life, or do things that I wanted to do. Now that I'm in charge of my own time, I find it difficult to get things going. It is almost as if I did better under pressure. I feel guilty that I'm not accomplishing anything, but if I reflect on my previous employment, I can't say that I was significantly changing the world either.

It has been great to participate in activities that would have been difficult while working: a friend's mid-week wedding, visiting remote family members, etc., but when those activities are through, and there is time between activities, I get sad and wonder if I should return to work to occupy the down time!

I assume others may have felt this; I now live in a community of relatively early retirees (though most of them are about 20 years older than me). Everyone seems happy, and they claim that they couldn't imagine returning to work. I wonder if anyone has any opinions on how to make retirement a more positive experience (or if perhaps I should return to work).

Fulm, while I didn't retire as early as you did, I do somewhat understand what you are going through. I went at 51, and most of my friends were (and still are) in the w*rk force. I went from going full speed to having trouble getting myself motivated and going.

What I did was force myself to have one year of downtime, where I did a little traveling (but not a lot because I traveled for work), caught up on a few things around the house (but was mostly lazy), and in general took it easy.

After the year, I got some consulting work, and around the same time lined up a part time college level teaching gig. While the consulting work is done and gone, I've continued teaching. I do it not for the money (the pay isn't great), but more for keeping my mind busy and to have some sort of a schedule and commitment. Although it isn't perfect, it is mostly fun and I don't think of it as a j*b.

This is my long winded way of saying that (for me at least), it may not be important to w*rk, but it is important to have things to do. This is your opportunity to do things because you want to, not because your getting paid. That could be golf, it could be going to all the baseball games, it could be teaching, it could be volunteering, it could be having the nicest yard in the neighborhood, whatever.

 

[Nords]

I know (think) packrat was joking, but after a few months of reflecting on it, I think w*rk is actually a good thing. Personally, I think it would be great to have "just enough" good w*rk... and the problem for some people is that they have too much of it (or maybe too little). Hopefully, I'm not romanticizing as onward suggested.

I enjoy the satisfying parts of work. It's the dissatisfiers (deadlines, workplace uniforms, department meetings, mandatory training, inflexible hours, rush-hour commutes) that I object to.

And, yes, you are romanticizing.

IFor some reason, it seems very difficult to come up with a "mission statement," and frankly, I don't know where to start.

I'm surprised that nobody has brought up Ernie Zelinski's Get-A-Life Tree!
Retirement Planning Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor: The Get-a-Life Tree: A Great Retirement Planning Tool!

I've had a blank copy on my desk for years, but I've never had the time to do anything with it...

 

[fulm]

Thanks!

Hi -

I've been reading everyone's replies over the past several days, and I plan to continue to review them, and take some of the great suggestions. First, I'm very thankful for very sincere, helpful, and friendly responses. Some replies are uplifting enough to make me feel less guilty. Others contain good suggestions for things to do moving forward. Thanks to a great community!

 

[JoeWras]

I enjoy the satisfying parts of work. It's the dissatisfiers (deadlines, workplace uniforms, department meetings, mandatory training, inflexible hours, rush-hour commutes) that I object to.

And, yes, you are romanticizing.

Darn it, Nords. Here I am, romanticizing about how with my building FI, I can wind down at w*rk stress free.

And then you remind us of the reality. I'm getting ready to go to w--- now, and have both that dreaded meeting and the commute. Thanks for the reality check.

 

[HelpNeeded]

I am willing to learn

Congratulations on your early retirement. At age 36 I would have been bored out of my mind if retired then. I am much older and not yet retired. I still work for someone who gives me deadlines. Maybe like someone suggested you can find fulfillment in volunteering your time. I can be your first student in learning how to retire early.

 

[Relaxed]

Hi fulm-

I retired this year at 44. I do little internet jobs that are deadlined and to be honest, I appreciate the days when I dont have a deadline! Thankfully i can choose to take the jobs or not. Im a retired real estate Broker so I still hold a license. Banks that get ready to foreclose on a house have me value their homes from the outside to see if they want to pursue a foreclosure or try to work with the homeowner. Anyway, it gives me some play money and isnt time consuming. I retired in May 2012 and I think the key is getting involved with other retired people OR semi retired people with some freedom. Do some traveling, meet new people. I live in St Louis and would LOVE to move to Florida where there are more retired people and sunny weather year round.

 

[Nords]

Darn it, Nords. Here I am, romanticizing about how with my building FI, I can wind down at w*rk stress free.
And then you remind us of the reality. I'm getting ready to go to w--- now, and have both that dreaded meeting and the commute. Thanks for the reality check.

Well, the anecdotal evidence suggests that once you're FI you have little to no tolerance for BS.

Here's the way the founder of this forum put it a few years ago:
http://www.early-retirement.org/for...aise-your-std-of-living-20605.html#post381043

He's been ER'd for a few years, too, and it's been a very long time since we've heard from him...

 

[JoeWras]

Well, the anecdotal evidence suggests that once you're FI you have little to no tolerance for BS.

Here's the way the founder of this forum put it a few years ago:
http://www.early-retirement.org/for...aise-your-std-of-living-20605.html#post381043

He's been ER'd for a few years, too, and it's been a very long time since we've heard from him...

Nords, that's a good pointer and a good discussion.

I noticed one member was worried about investments going up a lot at that time (2006). They were right. This nags me a little since we've had a run up. Can I take a 30% right now if I RE'd and stick it out? I'm asking metaphorically. The math says "probably", the emotions say "give it a year or two to see how all this current crap in the world unwinds."

But realistically, if I'm going to be living on investments for 40 years, this will be a continuous theme.

OK, sorry didn't mean to hijack the thread.

 

[martyp]

Much of the time, I end up feeling guilty, however. . . . I feel guilty that I'm not accomplishing anything, but if I reflect on my previous employment, I can't say that I was significantly changing the world either.

Everyone has given you good ideas for how to keep busy which could/should address issues of boredom. However, you may also have to address the issue of self identity or self worth. In either your J*b or ER you need to feel like you are accomplishing something. I recommend some soul search when choosing something to do.