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Old 09-30-2013, 06:18 AM   #21
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Flyaway,
Quick tip: document everything. You're in a good ole boy world, and you are the target.

You are a threat to their high school mentality. Jimbo is definitely threatened by your experience.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread. You need to pull it together, and think through some of the decisions. With your technical skill you can work contracts and be much happier. Hold off on the social security until you have time to vet on this forum.
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:36 AM   #22
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I don't know how much you can apply the prior job experience to this one. It would seem to me that you should set some boundaries with the young man directly, not through management. If you are working closely together, just firmly and non passively state your expectations for how you will be treated. This isn't an age thing, it is an interpersonal thing.

I agree that if you plan to keep this job while you get a handle on your expenses, you are going to need some better coping mechanisms than just avoiding conflict.
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:42 AM   #23
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They are not necessarily bad people, Yes he is and probably have no intention to hurt anyone Yes he does . They are just self-absorbed and ambitious. That too.

I can't really fault them for being that way. It is human nature to want to get ahead and to be valued. But not human nature if it means at the expense of purposely hurting others. If that is the case then the rest of the animal kingdom is far more advanced than we are. Although this may be the case when compared to Jim. Their identity is tied up with being "smart." Glad you put that in quotes because his behavior says otherwise.

Oh by the way, the other day I was listening to a conversation between Jim and one of the young managers. They were saying that everyone in congress who is over age 40 should be thrown out, because they're all stupid and know nothing about the modern world. Sounds like they are pretty stupid themselves and know nothing about cooperation, teamwork, and treating people with respect

And they must have known I could hear them. And since I am over 60, they must know I am over 40. Just proves the case that Jim is an asshat!
.
I got tired a long time ago of giving these arrogant jerks the benefit of the doubt or make excuses for them. They don't deserve it. Sorry you are in this environment. Hope you find a solution but don't think he is going to change.

Cheers!
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Old 09-30-2013, 09:29 AM   #24
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IT and age, no they don't discriminate.

Seriously at Megacorp we had a director that openly spoke about wanting a youger workforce. HR got involved, what happened? Nothing, except senior folks left, taking with them all the legacy knowledge.

Eventually the young arrogant ones get tired and go to greener pastures.

Best wishes,

MRG
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Old 09-30-2013, 10:48 AM   #25
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This is getting ridiculous.
My apologies if my comments offended you. I am a woman who has always stood up for herself and calls a spade a spade. Please feel free to put me on your ignore list. But please do not ignore the good advice you are getting on this thread.
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Old 09-30-2013, 10:53 AM   #26
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I complained a lot at my previous job, mostly to HR, and that made the situation worse.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So don't be a whiner at this job. Few IT managers want to keep an employee around who is constantly running to HR. They want people who are good problem solvers, both technically and interpersonally.

Learn the skills to deal with Jim or strike out on your own. Post your skills on eLance. Look for better paying contract work. Make some sites to sell on flippa. Learn how to develop smart phone apps and collect royalty income. Become a Wordpress expert and set up blogs for small businesses. Do volunteer work in social media and develop a portfolio to use for paid work.

You have endless options.
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Old 09-30-2013, 11:06 AM   #27
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This is getting ridiculous.
Flyaway, welcome to the forum. Don't forget one needs thick skin when asking for advice on a forum or social network. Members here are a friendly bunch, we do our best to keep a civil tone and mean well, even if the feedback does on occasion seem a bit harsh.
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Old 09-30-2013, 11:28 AM   #28
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OP,

I feel your pain. I have seen many "Jim's" during my career. Instead of resenting them, try to look at it this way: these folks are on a faster trajectory to higher positions. Soon, they will be promoted, or move on to other positions. For a near retiree such as myself, maintaining heads-down, low profile is what I plan to do for the remaining time before I RE.

Good luck.
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Old 09-30-2013, 02:44 PM   #29
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To the OP: One of the wonderful things about this forum is that you can safely get lots of different perspectives - some will be useful, and others not worth the electrons on your screen. But having an open mind and not just looking for confirmation about what you have already decided goes a long way.

Having ER'd from 31+ years in IT, mostly in management, I've worked with a lot of Jims and a lot of folks like you (both men and women). Some of the suggestions that have been made in this thread I have found to be very useful over the years. Rather than resigning yourself to be miserable for a year or more until you move on, why not at least try some of them?

Also, part-time contract work doesn't generally just land in your lap (exception being if your current employer wants to keep you on part-time), so if you want to work 1/2 time, you need to plan to spend at least 10-20% of your time on marketing, sales, bookkeeping, continuing education, etc.

There are lots of good books out there about becoming an independent or freelancer, as well as planning for retirement. I also second the comment above about expense tracking, and what options you have if the contract work doesn't come in when you expect it.

All the best!
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:10 PM   #30
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My apologies if my comments offended you. I am a woman who has always stood up for herself and calls a spade a spade. Please feel free to put me on your ignore list. But please do not ignore the good advice you are getting on this thread.
You thought I had a self esteem problem because an "I" wasn't capitalized!

What kind of woman you are has nothing to do with me. Don't expect everyone to be just like you.
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:12 PM   #31
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I suspect we could all stand to take a deep breath right about now.
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:14 PM   #32
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OP,

I feel your pain. I have seen many "Jim's" during my career. Instead of resenting them, try to look at it this way: these folks are on a faster trajectory to higher positions. Soon, they will be promoted, or move on to other positions. For a near retiree such as myself, maintaining heads-down, low profile is what I plan to do for the remaining time before I RE.

Good luck.
Yes, that is exactly what I meant. Low profile, avoid conflict, do my work, ignore Jim as much as possible.

And maybe after this project is done I won't have to work with him anymore.

I have already learned never to ask his advice. He interprets that as a helpless old lady begging for help.
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:22 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by MBAustin View Post
To the OP: One of the wonderful things about this forum is that you can safely get lots of different perspectives - some will be useful, and others not worth the electrons on your screen. But having an open mind and not just looking for confirmation about what you have already decided goes a long way.

Having ER'd from 31+ years in IT, mostly in management, I've worked with a lot of Jims and a lot of folks like you (both men and women). Some of the suggestions that have been made in this thread I have found to be very useful over the years. Rather than resigning yourself to be miserable for a year or more until you move on, why not at least try some of them?

Also, part-time contract work doesn't generally just land in your lap (exception being if your current employer wants to keep you on part-time), so if you want to work 1/2 time, you need to plan to spend at least 10-20% of your time on marketing, sales, bookkeeping, continuing education, etc.

There are lots of good books out there about becoming an independent or freelancer, as well as planning for retirement. I also second the comment above about expense tracking, and what options you have if the contract work doesn't come in when you expect it.

All the best!

I do not want to be a freelancer until I have a base income of at least $20k or $30k. That would pay for basic expenses, so I wouldn't have to worry about constantly having enough work (did that, no desire to do it again).
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:35 PM   #34
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What kind of woman you are has nothing to do with me. Don't expect everyone to be just like you.
I don't expect anyone to be just like me. We are all unique and must find our own ways of dealing with the world. Good luck to you.
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Old 09-30-2013, 08:23 PM   #35
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I thought Meadbh was trying to be helpful. Wishing you a better work situation in the days ahead flyaway.


Cheers, Cassie
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Old 09-30-2013, 08:24 PM   #36
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95 days until retirement, I'm finding these threads are assisting me in winding down my 38 year career. Thank you OP for sharing/posting.
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Old 09-30-2013, 09:48 PM   #37
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..... Low profile, avoid conflict, do my work, ignore Jim as much as possible.

And maybe after this project is done I won't have to work with him anymore.

I have already learned never to ask his advice. He interprets that as a helpless old lady begging for help.
As a woman who worked in IT, I can just imagine what you are going through having to deal with the likes of Jim---believe me, I know the type. I think you have the right plan. You are in the home stretch, you only have a year or so left.

I think it will be a nice, fun distraction to focus on planning for retirement. I would do all the math. I know I had a spreadsheet that calculated all the monies I had coming to me based on how long I lasted. It showed me that I was OK if I left right away, but that also putting up with everything for x months would net me a certain amount.

I think avoiding Jim is a good plan. If I were you, I would HATE interaccting with Jim--especially if he is trying to give you assignments. Can you choose to interpret his assignments as requests for help from you? Pretend that he must not know how to do those tasks---to amuse yourself if nothing else. I guess I'd just do what I could to discourage Jim. Also, it sound like me might be taking credit for your work and I would hate that too.

Since you are not trying to be promoted, as long as you do your job, I don't think you have much at risk. Even if they wanted you to leave, you'd be ok and maybe you'd get severence or unemployment.

Mostly I just wanted to offer you support. I think you'll LOVE retirement and I think you are right that you won't want to do consulting that puts you back into the crazy IT world plus, like a lot of us, I think you'll wonder how you ever found the time to work.
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Old 09-30-2013, 10:25 PM   #38
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But now I have a very young co-worker who acts like he's my boss. He knows everything, even when he doesn't. It reminds me of my previous manager and I hate it.
You could try becoming a manager -- maybe manage the team you're part of. Then give those kids bad reviews for not being "team players."

But seriously, lots of engineers become engineering managers in the later part of their career.
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Old 09-30-2013, 10:30 PM   #39
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What is getting ridiculous?

The job or the feedback people are trying to give?
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Old 10-01-2013, 01:24 PM   #40
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flyaway -
I'm another woman who works in the technical field. (engineer). The world is full of Jim's. Guys who are good, but inexperienced... but don't recognize they might have something to learn from more experienced coworkers. They are a PITA. I try to avoid them, or be helpful to them - depending on their jerk-factor.

The advice from Delaney was spot on. Put together a spreadsheet and figure out exactly what you currently spend. Not ball parks, but actuals.
Then add in things that are covered by your employer (health insurance, dental insurance, etc.)
Subtract out things you won't be spending (401k contributions, etc.)

That's your budget.

Play around with social security. Play around with what you'd need to bring in from contract work or a part time gig. Figure out a plan b if you don't get web-development contract work... Are you adverse to part time work in another field. (A friend took a job at a local grocery store bakery for 12 hrs/week - the bonus was it got her health benefits.)

Since you're a tech type person - do the math. If the numbers work - AWESOME... fly away from the job. If they don't... find a way to ignore or deal with Jim... for at least another year or two.

Doing the math means looking at annuities - and whether they make sense in our current rate environment... IMO - they're probably not going to work as you plan.

Good luck to you.
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