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Old 06-02-2011, 11:26 AM   #41
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Our FIRST is due in August! That might change EVERYTHING!
You think. Come back after August and let us know if this purpose thing is not colored different for you.
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Old 06-02-2011, 11:50 AM   #42
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If you want your retirement to be successful, you don't retire from something - you retire to something better.

I've long since concluded that, for most people (including me), having a "bucket list" of many items is more realistic than waiting for a single, great, all singing, all dancing "life's purpose" to come along. In this day and age even us introverts have no excuse for not keeping physically and mentally active once we step away from the discipline of the w*rking world. The list of potentially meaningful things to do is endless.
I'm sure that's true but, for me, after working at two jobs for the past 27 years that were basically just jobs to fulfill my obligations as a parent and a spouse, I want to do ONE THING in my career that *I* can feel proud of. Yes, there are things in my personal life that I can be proud of and I've done a good job at my jobs BUT... it doesn't meet my fulfillment requirement for my work life. Maybe that's unattainable but I don't want to stop trying. This is sounding a lot less about retiring and a lot more about working but I would retire from my "secure" job to pursue my fulfillment work on my own terms, doing what I want, when I want so it's related.

This is my sounding board for sorting these thoughts out that are running through my head with the help of all you kind folks! THANKS!
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Old 06-02-2011, 06:50 PM   #43
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I would first start making some small changes. Perhaps do some shopping on your lunch hour. Take a different route to work if possible. Set some time aside for just you. Just anything to break the routine that your are in. A few small changes will lead to others.

You are quite correct that you are trading your life for $$. Don't stay at the job any longer than you have to and try not to bring it home with you.
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Old 06-02-2011, 11:34 PM   #44
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I don't know if it's because I'm not satisfied with what I've done thus far or just want to get the most out of life. I really don't think it's competition but DW is PhD, CPA, and a bunch of other stuff. Son has masters in Nuclear Engineering and now in med school. Daughter-in-law just finished vet school. Daughter just published first book. Like I said, I don't feel I'm competing but as much as just trying to get more out of life.

Thanks for the feedback!
Your children's accomplishments are awesome and imho show that you and your DW had high expectations for them to be successful professionally and probably academically (as you and your DW presumably were/are). So not surprising that you'll continue to have high expectations of yourself in retirement. But it's possible you might never be happy completely (or at all) retired and will "need" to keep your hand in. That's okay--we don't have a 12 step program to help you overcome that. Yet. .
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:45 AM   #45
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But it's possible you might never be happy completely (or at all) retired and will "need" to keep your hand in. That's okay--we don't have a 12 step program to help you overcome that. Yet. .
That's funny that you would say that. AS SOON AS I POSTED THAT LAST COMMENT, that thought came to mind and I've been thinking about it ever since.

I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head!!! Looking back, that's always been the case. Achieve my goal, then I'm no longer satisfied. Please hurry with the 12 step program!!!
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:57 AM   #46
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Well, it's obvious, you need to start dabbling in more esoteric areas and start publishing. For good examples of this, I'd recommend reading The Humanure Handbook by Joseph Jenkins and also the The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement by Doug Nordman. Both are about putting up with a lot of crap to better your life (well, to be fair, I haven't gotten Nords's book yet... but I can tell from the Military part of the title ).
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Old 06-03-2011, 11:27 AM   #47
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I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head!!! Looking back, that's always been the case. Achieve my goal, then I'm no longer satisfied.
Life is full of goals. Some are tactical and others are strategic. But for sure, they change and evolve with time. My list at retirement 8 years ago has evolved as things keep getting checked off.

Just try not to live vicariously through others. I have seen that pitfall with many fellow retirees.
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Old 06-03-2011, 11:48 AM   #48
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I'd recommend reading The Humanure Handbook by Joseph Jenkins
I have a lot of experience with composting and have skimmed this one... strange combination of books!
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Old 06-03-2011, 06:49 PM   #49
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I have a lot of experience with composting and have skimmed this one... strange combination of books!
I spent a lot of my submarine career working with humanure too...
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Old 06-03-2011, 09:45 PM   #50
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Old 06-04-2011, 07:13 PM   #51
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you need to start dabbling in more esoteric areas and start publishing.
This has been on my mind for a while now and all I have to say is...

HUH
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:08 PM   #52
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This has been on my mind for a while now and all I have to say is...

HUH
You said you need to keep pushing yourself or you get bored. You need passion. You get that from your job now I assume. But, what to do about retirement.

I bet you could sit down and think up 20 things that fascinate you. 20 ideas that sound interesting. I bet you'd be willing to dig in and become the biggest nerd on, say, 5 of those ideas. I bet at least one of those would be fun to write about to share with other people.

And, I bet I'd buy the book
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:41 PM   #53
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You said you need to keep pushing yourself or you get bored. You need passion. You get that from your job now I assume.
Uhhhhh.... BIG NO!

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I bet you could sit down and think up 20 things that fascinate you. 20 ideas that sound interesting.
Uhhhhh.... NO, not that many, unfortunately!

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I bet you'd be willing to dig in and become the biggest nerd on, say, 5 of those ideas. I bet at least one of those would be fun to write about to share with other people.
Maybe...I do like to "get into" subjects and learn about them, the current one being time domain reflectometry used in soil moisture sensors.

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And, I bet I'd buy the book
Would you be interested in buying ADVANCE COPIES

GO CANUCKS, from Texas!
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:48 PM   #54
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Maybe...I do like to "get into" subjects and learn about them, the current one being time domain reflectometry used in soil moisture sensors.
Heck, first build a $25 model that'll find broken irrigation-control sprinkler wires. I'll buy two. I'll even pay S&H.

And I have to admit, it'd be nice for the sprinklers to only come on in those areas that have dried out. Maybe a five-cent sensor incorporated into each & every sprinkler head, with its own mini control valve.

Then you'll have discovered your "meaningful purpose", and you'll have too much money to worry about what else you'll do all day...
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:52 PM   #55
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Heck, first build a $25 model that'll find broken irrigation-control sprinkler wires. I'll buy two. I'll even pay S&H.

And I have to admit, it'd be nice for the sprinklers to only come on in those areas that have dried out. Maybe a five-cent sensor incorporated into each & every sprinkler head, with its own mini control valve.

Then you'll have discovered your "meaningful purpose", and you'll have too much money to worry about what else you'll do all day...
Great ideas, will I owe you a cut
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Old 06-05-2011, 08:11 AM   #56
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I bet you could sit down and think up 20 things that fascinate you. 20 ideas that sound interesting.
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Uhhhhh.... NO, not that many, unfortunately!
I'll be you could easily come up with 20, have you actually tried?

Again, I'd recommend the Get-A-Life Tree exercise in Ernie Zelinski's book How to Retire Wild, Happy & Free (as many others have) as a way to make it easy - you can most likely get it at your local library. It's much easier than just sitting down with a blank piece of paper.

People have posted their lists here several times before, might give you some inspiration.

It's not enough to retire from something, you have to have something better to retire to.
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Old 06-05-2011, 08:26 AM   #57
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All I know is since we left the workforce we constantly wonder how we ever found time to work. We go days without turning a TV on, there are so many books to read, gardens to tend, volunteer organizations to help, recipes to try, home projects to finish etc. etc. etc. DH built some beautiful furniture and several wooden boats, I have made quilts and got involved in a pottery studio. All fun and rewarding. And it is great to travel off season when everyone else has to work and be able to grab the cheapest airfare because you can be flexible in your travel dates. We take long bike rides, spend time at the YMCA and Yoga studio or hiking. My DIL's know if they have a childcare emergency they only have to call and I'll be in the car on the way- they don't live too close so it is definitely an occasional thing, but I love it.


You get out of life what you put into it.
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Old 06-05-2011, 08:45 AM   #58
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Again, I'd recommend the Get-A-Life Tree exercise in Ernie Zelinski's book How to Retire Wild, Happy & Free
In reality, I keep myself occupied all the time and hardly ever watch TV. I guess I don't "get" the part about how that would be my whole life, not just the free time part.

DW is the one who can't find anything to do with herself besides go to work (she teaches at the university so it's not just 8-5) and we've had many, many conversations about how she will be very unhappy and hard to live with unless she has some structure in retirement. She talks about doing this and that but often never follows through. She's very good about the things she enjoys, such as painting (inside walls, not pictures) but has trouble finding new things. Talked for years about Habitat but never pursed it. Maybe that would change when she had nothing else.

I think that exercise sounds very interesting, I'll check it out! Thanks!
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:32 AM   #59
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My DIL's know if they have a childcare emergency they only have to call and I'll be in the car on the way- they don't live too close so it is definitely an occasional thing, but I love it.
Could you say what you mean distance or time wise? I helped recently with my granddaughter when they abruptly fired their Nanny. They are only 2 miles away, and it is very easy.

What distance or time do you have to travel in one of these situations? Today's young people are so amazingly overworked that I wouldn't expect much out of my children unless I can stay quite close, and convince them to call on me rather than reaching for their billfolds when some little thing occurs. This is one good reason for working to find good peers. They are more likely to have time available.

Ha
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Old 06-05-2011, 04:34 PM   #60
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Don't think so much.

Seriously, sometimes all the purpose you need in life is to be good to your fellow humans, do some good deeds for others in worse shape than you are, and bring a smile to someone's lonely or sad face. The possibilities are endless, and you often don't have to look too far to find someone to help.
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