Noob wondering if it's ok to ask Dad how much I stand to inherit

Meadbh said:
CJ, either you are underestimating the rapidity of digital obsolescence or you are expecting to kick the bucket any day now!

:D
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I just came from the Purgatory thread. How do you bargain with the grim reaper. Door number one, please, planned obsolescence. :D
 

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I would never ask my parents how large my inheritance might be.

Mostly because I am fairly certain it will be a negative number, but also because it would be very disrespectful.
 
While I do think it is tacky to ask how large your "inheritance" will be, I do think it is wrong when parents keep their children completely in the dark as to their financial situation. Especially as the parents start aging and the children are now adults in their own right. I would NEVER want to be a financial burden to my family, and I think I would try very hard to set up my life in a way that I did not have to be.
From the very little conversation that I have had with my folks, I am guessing they are in really bad shape. My father will probably wind up dying at his desk. Even though I have told him many times it is a bad way to go... and not worth it. I am currently the executor of their will, but they still refuse to talk amounts with me etc. As time goes on I will need to know things like bank accont #'s, where the safety deposit boxes are, and the keys for them, etc. Unfortunately my folks in their typical fashion will ride things to the very bottom, and keep things a complete SECRET, and find themselves in a very bad spot later in life. Although not for my lack of trying... something that I do not do anymore.
 
I personally would like to know the financial standing of my mom (I actually asked her a while back so I knew how her finances were...)

In my case no inheritance of any consequence (I knew that much), but looking at her numbers, I may have to cover her cost some (probably very small) if she needed a long term care for a long period of time. I am not as worried about her now, as when I didn't know, for sure. Knowing her financial status was very very important to me since my other sibling all of a sudden decided to cut all ties with her.

Even if she told me she had tons of money, I would have probably asked her the similar set of questions anyway (her sense of money has always been a bit different from mine, so I probably would have wanted to make sure that she would be OK till the end of her life), but we are pretty close and open, so I could easily ask her personal questions.

I personally wouldn't count on any money other people own (parents or otherwise) that they said they would leave to me. Things happen (accidents, totally unforseen uninsurable expensive surgeries, breakups, etc, etc), so if you are just wanting to know how much inheritance you are entitled to, I don't think I would ask. Asking a money question for my own selfish reasons (like "oh maybe I won't have to save for my second house after all" or "oh maybe I could retire 10 years earlier than I've been planning"), to me, would be tacky. BUT! If my mom did say she had tons of money to leave to me, we are close enough that I could say to her, "hey, tell me how much you got so I can start planning how to spend it. wait! maybe you should just give it to me now - you wouldn't need all that for yourself would you? "

tmm
 
Or, you could ask how your parent is doing, whether they have enough for their future expenditures, whether they are likely to need help from you, just so you can plan your budget.

If they have nothing, better to know now; if there's a positive surprise, you can both rejoice.
 
Alan said:
my first thought was "what is he doing with his hand?"
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Maybe he's taking "the Harvey Milk Law" too seriously. Harvey was a politician well known for getting the pooper-scooper law passed. People are required to pick up after their dogs. Maybe now that I'm retired, I can work on an amendment to require catching falling poops so they don't hit the sidewalk as seen in this pic. :p Not!
 
calmloki said:
Didn't know that - thought i remembered him being assasinated down in SFO, and sure enough: Harvey Milk - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Interesting life - even had Jim Jones involvement.
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"Milk also sponsored a pooper-scooper ordinance and a San Francisco law barring "anti-gay discrimination" in the workplace which passed the same time the Briggs Initiative failed.[2] Days later, White resigned his city supervisor seat...." (from the wiki link).

The opera libretto, "Harvey Milk" has him also coming out of the "Jewish closet." Should be interesting to see how Sean Penn plays him.
 
Since Dad is the one repeatedly bringing up the topic, I would think relevant follow-up questions are fair game.

I don't know the personalities involved, but perhaps he is even dropping hints that he would welcome a discussion. :-\
 
Interesting that folks continue to respond to someone who posted once on the forum almost three weeks ago and hasn't been back since...
 
OP will stagger back here in a few weeks and thank us for all our insightful posts. Today I got thanked for a contribution I made in June (on 50+).

I knew the intimate details of both my Dad and my MIL. Did not influence my behaviour and I always treated them and their money with respect. I have shared with both my boys the general nature of our will and how they will be handled.
 
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