Retired early and baffled!

[Fedup]

I thought that was a joke comment, approaching strangers to tell them what you don't like about their bodies. As long as you can do without being slapped on the face, I say do it. However, not around here. It's not just being a Buddhist, it's mind your own business kind of thing.


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[O2Bfree]

on a shallower note and based on later reflection on my yesterday visit to this fancy gym: why on earth women are growing six packs?! It really doesn't look nice! Should I approach them one by one to advise them on this, or should I stick to my Buddhist tendencies and simply "let go"!? I may have to wait a bit to flatten my belly more before that though!

The main point of Buddhist practice is that our minds are not just our brains, but everything. Realizing how everything is "your" mind eliminates harmful emotions associated with feelings of separation from the world around us, such as greed, anger, and anxiety, and allows beneficial qualities such as patience, compassion, and generosity to grow. One's realization of large mind grows when thoughts associated with the small mind are allowed to drop away through meditation or other practices.

So when your head is clear of small-minded thoughts, you know without hesitation how to react to a six-pack lady because you are realizing her as yourself!

 

[pullmyfinger]

The main point of Buddhist practice is that our minds are not just our brains, but everything. Realizing how everything is "your" mind eliminates harmful emotions associated with feelings of separation from the world around us, such as greed, anger, and anxiety, and allows beneficial qualities such as patience, compassion, and generosity to grow. One's realization of large mind grows when thoughts associated with the small mind are allowed to drop away through meditation or other practices.

So when your head is clear of small-minded thoughts, you know without hesitation how to react to a six-pack lady because you are realizing her as yourself!

02Bfree - I think I need to hang with you! I've been working on my Buddhist practice for many years with varying degrees of success.

 

[languagefan]

Of course the 6 pack thing was a lighthearted joke!
I don't particularly like religions of any kind as they turn to belief systems and some practitioners develop grandiose ideas about themselves and feel entitled on that basis to preach others. Buddhist or else, life with a sense of humour is more enjoyable.

 

[sengsational]

I guess I am not looking for an easy answer, more like sharing, and hoping to learn from experiences of others.

I can identify with post #1. And certainly one can feel life is hum-drum without being depressed; I kind of cringed at some of the suggestions in this thread, but I'm sure everyone's intentions were to help. This forum has the best people I've found anywhere on the Internet.

Reading post#1 and some following posts I was reminded of the philosophy of Kierkegarrd, where he lays out three lifestyles (aesthetic, ethical, and religious). It sounds like, as a doctor, and like many of us here, you concentrated your working years in the ethical mode (that means a life of duty). Then with retirement, you shifted gears to one devoid of duty. The religious mode was not a factor, so you now are fully in aesthetic mode, and it's not doing it for you. That's understandable. I think it's impossible to gain satisfaction in aesthetic mode, especially for someone who tends toward being anhedonic (not saying you do, but I do). Satisfaction is an elusive goal in aesthetic mode since if you satisfy a desire, a new one takes it's place, leaving one with a level of dissatisfaction. So it sounds like a dose of duty is called-for, if you buy the philosophical argument I've mentioned.

Happiness is simply liking the way you feel. Contentment is a broader concept and has more to do with the psychological state that "you want what you have" or "you like the path your life has taken" . For most of us this is an impossible state to achieve, as we human are somehow better wired for discontentment!

This idea about human nature (and many more topics like that) are covered in a book called The Mayo Clinic guide to stress-free living. The book is really more about happiness and fulfillment than the title would suggest. And thankfully it doesn't put meditation at the top of the list! The book suggests that gratitude plays a big part, so that's in agreement with your observations.

I am not a teacher by any standard! I do alright with the theory part, but not terribly good at practise!

I'm not surprised with the metamorphosis from help seeker to help giver; I sometimes write posts here "to myself" since it seems to be an effective way for me to locate those ideas later. This post is an example of that technique.

 

[languagefan]

@Sengsational: thanks very much for your detailed and insightful comment from which I learned, and in fact took notes for further research.
Have w wonderful time.

 

[veganbetty]

I don't know if someone else already mentioned these two items that I thought might be useful to you. But I'm wondering if you may be happier in a metropolis where there is a ton of cultural and busy activities. Also working in animal protection has a huge vacuous need that could always use high achievers like yourself. I'm pretty impressed with all that you have done so far!

 

[cyber888]

I'm the only high achiever in my family. Two of my brothers are kinda laid back, so that part of my family's cultural trait might kick in when I retire. I might get lazy in the first few years of retirement, but then I might feel the need for speed and will find activities to do. Just go with the flow.

If you are feeling giddy and want to do something very active, just do it. Get back in the game and be creative.

 

[timbervest]

I would be interested in hearing from OP as to how she did or did not solve her dilemma over the past three years.