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Old 09-17-2014, 10:54 AM   #21
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My dad made a sort of "cat of nine tails" out of the old nylon covered clothes line and hung it on a last rights cross that we had in our kitchen. he used it a few times but mostly it was just there for show. When we were acting up, he'd reached for it and we would run.
Same for me. The contraption used by my parents consisted of a wooden handle with a dozen leather lashes attached to it. It hung next to the fridge for good effect. Corporal punishment was also practiced in school and usually involved getting hit with a ruler or yardstick. I never thought of it as abuse, just strict discipline.
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Old 09-17-2014, 10:55 AM   #22
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I was spanked on occasion. But I think discussion about the Peterson situation overlooks the most important issue. One can debate whether physical discipline of a child is appropriate.
But, m'gosh Peterson used a switch on a 4 YEAR OLD! Absolutely no justification for that. Period.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:23 AM   #23
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I was spanked on occasion. But I think discussion about the Peterson situation overlooks the most important issue. One can debate whether physical discipline of a child is appropriate.
But, m'gosh Peterson used a switch on a 4 YEAR OLD! Absolutely no justification for that. Period.

That's where I'm at.... I spanked my daughter one time when she was three and ran off from me at the area Mall. Three times on the rear with my hand and probably wasn't even felt. It left an impression because any time she started to misbehave all I had to say was "Do you want a spanking?" and that was all that was needed. Being a single child eliminates a lot of behavior problems though. I had two other siblings near my age and we could be turds so we got spanked. And when we did, we behaved for awhile. . We look back and laugh about it now, but we got spanked not abused....


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Old 09-17-2014, 11:26 AM   #24
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Our Mother beat us with a belt that she tucked into her waist line when she got up in the morning and it hung there until she went to bed at night. She could draw that belt and start beating in a microsecond. You got hit for standing up when she thought you should sit down or the converse, you got hit for speaking at dinner or not speaking if she though you should speak. It was a life where you were wrong and you knew it.

Things were different then. On any given Monday at school many kids walked in with welts or slap marks across their face, bruises on their legs, etc. That was the norm in that place at that time. Kids were kicked around.

On my 18th birthday I walked out and more or less never saw her again. My brother stayed home till he was mid 20's and more or less stayed in Mother's orbit till she died, I guess. Not much contact with him either.

When we had our children, I was crystal clear. No one ever strikes one of these children, ever. We had superior discipline, appropriate and well behaved children. The children were encouraged to speak their minds and to understand that their opinion would be considered and often acted on, but that their Mother and I had final responsibility and would make the final decisions. We made sure that whenever it did not matter one way or the other the kid's wishes or ideas were acted on with great eagerness. This both to encourage openness and also to throw them one whenever we could. They were not our friends nor we theirs.

We modeled personal responsibility, hard work and hard play, open handed generosity and the importance of thinking for yourself and always kept them away from institutions that seek to control thought (Churches, politics, etc.).

Most importantly we did not permit broadcast TV in our home until they were mid teen. Therefore they learned to read and to entertain themselves by using their own minds.

We simply did not have the teenage angst because they knew they were respected and they knew that we would listen to their issues and work to both meet our goal of setting them on the right path for life but also acknowledge their needs.

I clearly remember telling my son when he was 14 or 15 that I was raised such that I had no clue of what the right thing to do was, but I was very clear of the wrong thing. That he and I were in this together and that we had the same goal of setting him on a path that would lead to the good life while allowing him to grow and develop now.

Our daughter was PBK at an upper end college and now has an advanced degree in the medical arena. She and her husband are well started on a productive life for themselves and others. Our son was PBK at a top ranked college, and is ending four years of commissioned service as an Airborne Ranger. He heads to graduate school next Fall.

We are in their lives and in their affections. Both acknowledge that the firm, one might say strict, discipline, clear modeling of a life of service to others and the complete and loving support of their every need made them who they are.

I am more than willing to take credit but a lifetime of observing humanity makes me think that it is a lot more the luck of the draw and a lot less about me.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:28 AM   #25
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I was never hit, and never hit my kids. This violence against children is not for discipline, it's to express the parent's anger and frustration. IMO, it is wrong.

......snip....
Ha
+ a gooole

My dad used a belt on the 4 of us. In different ways we all ran away from home, our 'cutoffs' ranged from 5 years to eternity. He never had a real relationship with GC and GGC because of his actions.

He later explained to the three living kids, he learned it from his step father. I had to forgive my dad after he passed.

Hitting kids teaches them to hit their kids, to hit other kids, hit their spouses. It's never right.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:50 AM   #26
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Growing up in the 50s and 60s, I don't think I knew many "boys" that didn't get spanked by their parents at times (including me). As they got older (junior and senior high school age) the job of spanking seemed to switch from the parents to the teachers. I know the schools I attended in Houston "the use of a paddle" was swift and not uncommon for the boys. (never for the girls)

I never spanked my child so it's not something that is necessarily automatically passed down.
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Old 09-17-2014, 12:50 PM   #27
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I was spanked on occasion. But I think discussion about the Peterson situation overlooks the most important issue. One can debate whether physical discipline of a child is appropriate.
But, m'gosh Peterson used a switch on a 4 YEAR OLD! Absolutely no justification for that. Period.
I'm not sure which I'm more shocked about. What was done the 4 year old or that there isn't a federal law against that?

Then just watching the news shows that there are 19 states that still allow corporeal punishment (Texas being one of them). It will be a matter of the courts to decide whether it was corporeal punishment or abuse.

I remember watching old Andy Griffith shows, and at times when Opie did something wrong, Andy would threaten to give him a whipping and there's mention of a "switch" on The Waltons. Of course, things have changed since then. Or have they?

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Old 09-17-2014, 03:06 PM   #28
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Growing up in the 50s and 60s, I don't think I knew many "boys" that didn't get spanked by their parents at times (including me). As they got older (junior and senior high school age) the job of spanking seemed to switch from the parents to the teachers. I know the schools I attended in Houston "the use of a paddle" was swift and not uncommon for the boys. (never for the girls)

I never spanked my child so it's not something that is necessarily automatically passed down.

The use of school paddling is dying out, even where it technically is still legal on the books. Though a lot of it is from not wanting to get caught up in the potential problems that it could entail, including lawsuits and DFS investigations.... A nearby high school had an interesting time honored discipline tradition (it's been 10 years so I do not know if it is allowed anymore) where if you skipped detention you went to the office the next morning and got your 3 swats. You didn't even have to hunt them down, they would just go. It prevented a lot of escalating problems as it was then done and over with.


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Old 09-17-2014, 04:59 PM   #29
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The use of school paddling is dying out, even where it technically is still legal on the books. Though a lot of it is from not wanting to get caught up in the potential problems that it could entail, including lawsuits and DFS investigations.... A nearby high school had an interesting time honored discipline tradition (it's been 10 years so I do not know if it is allowed anymore) where if you skipped detention you went to the office the next morning and got your 3 swats. You didn't even have to hunt them down, they would just go. It prevented a lot of escalating problems as it was then done and over with.


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If I recall, in my school, there was a max limit of 5 swats per "incident" although I knew a few guys who had more than one incident in a day. In those days, they even gave swats to students on the football teams if their grades fell below a C.
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Old 09-17-2014, 05:09 PM   #30
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If I recall, in my school, there was a max limit of 5 swats per "incident" although I knew a few guys who had more than one incident in a day. In those days, they even gave swats to students on the football teams if their grades fell below a C.

Three swings was our limit. I remember the first time we had a contestant lined up. I asked principal to administer it, as I had never been at a school that had done it and had no experience with a paddle. It appeared the swings were kinda wimpy, so I had him hit me once at same speed so I would know what it felt like. A very valuable lesson as you do not have to swing it that hard to send a message. I probably would have swung for the fences Dave Kingman style and landed in jail.


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Old 09-17-2014, 05:17 PM   #31
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There was a small paddle that said "be an angel" hanging in our kitchen when I was a kid. It was monogrammed with my sisters name. It may have come off the hook a couple of times, but I don't recall it ever being used. Certainly not used with enough force to even redden the skin, or I'd remember that!

I never hit my kids, but did yell sometimes, and felt horrible after. All about the frustration as a parent...absolutely.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:48 PM   #32
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My parents spanked us with an open hand on the buttocks - over clothing, never bare. I remember it stinging but I was never injured, just embarrassed and angry.

My brother got much worse and much more than my sister and I because my Dad went through a period of trying to make him into a "normal" young man and my brother was not ever going to be what my father wanted. There was never a belt, spoon or stick.

DH is the oldest of 5 kids and he says his Mom used a hairbrush on them when she really lost her temper. They would cry and wail in fake pain (she's a real softy) and then laugh when she left the room. Finally the hairbrush broke and she gave up on using weapons.

DH and I decided against spanking. We found that ignoring bad behavior and acknowledging good behavior worked pretty well. My older son's worse punishment EVER was we took away his LEGO for a week. He is 30 now and will still talk about how awful that was!

Something is very wrong with a MAN who thinks this is the way to discipline a 4 year old. This is not discipline, it's brutality.
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:43 PM   #33
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Twice I remember my father seriously punishing me. Somehow I made it to my teenage years before I got wild!

I got caught with another kid robbing a bakery truck at night and when the cops called my father, he told them to tell me I'd be better off in jail than coming home right now. When I got home (no charges) and in his custody, I was sent to the basement for a "talk".

The second time was when I got caught lying to him. That cost me 30 days indoors after school in my room with no radio to listen to Yankee games. That was like being in prison for a 16 year old Yankee fan.

He never laid a hand on me but I was sure in fear of him. We were never really close until I was out on my own and successful. My mother had my two sisters to worry about back then so she had her hands full.

We have been stern with our daughters, but never hit or beat them.
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:35 PM   #34
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Four boys one girl in our family. All the boys were spanked. I think I was a little more that the others, I was the youngest boy and tended to be at the end of the line. Sister was never spanked.

I would say that all four boys turned out OK. Sister not so much. In school corporal punishment was the norm especially in High School. Over all I think there was better discipline in schools, and a better learning environment. I received several 'swats' in HS, well deserved, and I honestly think I prefered that to a not home.
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Old 09-17-2014, 08:45 PM   #35
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My folks would definitely be in jail nowadays for child abuse. My mom left an apology letter to read after her death. I almost didn't go to my dad's funeral.

I have never hit my children and I have never had to. There are other ways to get them to behave without resorting to violence. I wonder if they even know that some parents beat their kids.
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Old 09-18-2014, 12:34 AM   #36
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My mom says she used to spank me and my brother, but I don't remember ever being spanked, so this must have happened when we were very small. And I am OK with that. It makes absolutely no sense to me to spank kids who are old enough to be able to speak and understand concepts of good and bad. Spanking kids old enough is like bullying in my opinion. It is abuse of power.




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Old 09-18-2014, 12:39 AM   #37
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Oh by the way, I cannot count how many times I got swatted by my elementary school teacher (female) in my second grade and there was another teacher (male) who got reported (several times) for hurting one boy in the fourth grade. This was in Japan though. Being in elementary/junior high school there in those days, I imagine, was sort of like being in the military.


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Old 09-18-2014, 10:43 AM   #38
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Let's be real here. There is a difference between a spanking and a beating. The problem, IMHO, with this and other discussions is that people trying to criminalize this zero in on the beating and then want to outlaw the spanking. We have mentioned the 'Greatest Generation' here and in the news often. I dare say that 99% of that generation were spanked, some with a switch, some with a belt, and some with hands. I can't imagine them turning out much better. Likewise there are folks on this board that believe their parents went overboard, but appear to have made it to adult life successfully.

At one point I told my son I would not spank him. His school performance, and other activities proceed to degrade over a two year period. We changed the policy, one spanking later, and his attitude and actions changed, day and night. On the other hand, we never spanked our daughter. Did not have to. I could look at her with a harsh look and it was as effective as a spanking. Two different children, two different forms of discipline. Parents should be free of government and neighbors choosing the form of discipline that works for their children. You may not like it, and it may not work for your family, but, if the line between beating and spanking has not been crossed, I say the government has no business in it.
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Old 09-18-2014, 10:47 AM   #39
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Parents should be free of government and neighbors choosing the form of discipline that works for their children. You may not like it, and it may not work for your family, but, if the line between beating and spanking has not been crossed, I say the government has no business in it.
Maybe. But I dare say that line has moved considerably in the last few decades. What would have been widely accepted as "discipline" 50-60 years ago is often widely condemned as abuse today.
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Old 09-18-2014, 10:55 AM   #40
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Ziggy, no question! But, it does not make it right or correct. There have been lots of government encroachment into a parents authority that, IMHO, is unjustified.
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