Advice on how to work for terrible boss ....

[John Galt III]

No chance of his moving on. Moving up, yes.

I tried to minimize my interaction with him. Then, he confronted me one day, demanding to know why I have been ignoring him .

Had a similar situation. I tried to ignore the jerk. Then one day he told me he wanted to see me more often around the office. Then it was "I need to see you every day". There was no reason for him to see me every day, and I hated this ******* control freak so much, I called upper management to complain, and I was granted permission to not have to see the clown every day. These abusive manager types are often mentally ill sadists, and unbelievably, they don't get fired.

 

[robnplunder]

Oh yes, and think about selling the movie rights after you've written the book.

That crossed my mind more than once .... . I can probably sell 10 copies to my peers, employees, ex-employees, his enemies, and give a free copy to my boss. But it'd be too much *work* to write a book in RE.

 

[robnplunder]

Had a similar situation. I tried to ignore the jerk. Then one day he told me he wanted to see me more often around the office. Then it was "I need to see you every day". There was no reason for him to see me every day, and I hated this ******* control freak so much, I called upper management to complain, and I was granted permission to not have to see the clown every day. These abusive manager types are often mentally ill sadists, and unbelievably, they don't get fired.

I suspect mine has narcissistic personality disorder. I had an occasion to study NPD b/c several of my family members have it, and my boss fits the bill.

 

[REWahoo]

Bad boss? Pfffttt.

I used to work for this guy:

Nightmare Boss # 2 - YouTube

 

[AllDone]

A bad boss makes life miserable. I've had a few, but never for too long fortunately. My DH, OTOH, is a bad boss magnet. His last one (who he had worked for at another company!) was the caregiver for a sibling who was disabled by bipolar disorder ... a genetic condition. His boss had all the symptoms. DH went through the EAP program to talk to a counselor about the situation. It helped him gain some perspective. However, I suspect he would still be w*rking, if he'd had a more reasonable boss. He couldn't talk to the CEO about the problem because the CEO was also terrified of DH's boss!

You might ask why DH went to work for someone he knew to be crazy? The guy told DH that he was planning to retire within 18 months. Five and a half years later, DH quit.

 

[Ready]

I know many people criticized my managerial skills over my career, and I'm sure I wasn't perfect. But one thing I did learn along the way is that sometimes bad employees declare their bosses to be lousy, rather than taking any ownership for the failure of the relationship. I'm certainly not suggesting that to be the case here. Just that I know for every time I made a bonehead decision as a boss, I had an employee who made an equally bonehead decision without my help.

 

[robnplunder]

I know many people criticized my managerial skills over my career, and I'm sure I wasn't perfect. But one thing I did learn along the way is that sometimes bad employees declare their bosses to be lousy, rather than taking any ownership for the failure of the relationship. I'm certainly not suggesting that to be the case here. Just that I know for every time I made a bonehead decision as a boss, I had an employee who made an equally bonehead decision without my help.

I ought to know. I had my share of bad employees as I have been a boss myself for 15 years. Most people managers will learn to be a good boss over time. Bad guy at heart won't.

 

[ducky911]

I think you should set your date for retirement, mark it on a calendar, the very day two years from now. No need to tell anyone but yourself.

I bet your boss's bs will not bother you near as much as widdle the days by.

 

[robnplunder]

Thanks for the replies. I have been already following a lot of your suggestions here. I wasn't looking for a solution but sitting at my office desk & writing about my boss gave me a lot of relief. Actually, some folks at my megacorp get a comic relief from the way my boss acts sometimes b/c they are truly pages out of a bad movie (featuring bad boss).

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I tried to minimize my interaction with him. Then, he confronted me one day, demanding to know why I have been ignoring him .

I had that happened to me with a boss when I was younger who was hitting on me. I told an assistant manager about it and he suggested I call our headquarters and complain. I didn't do that but the assistant manager passed the complaint on anyway without telling me. I was interviewed by some internal security type people from our headquarters, and the manager was fired shortly after that. This was in the seventies, pre-sensitivity training era, so I was kind of shocked they fired him so quickly, but I guess he had been bothering other young females as well.

Back to the original question, people skills training never hurts. There are lots of books, DVDs, classes, etc on dealing with difficult people. I used to listen to the audio books on that topic endlessly when I had a corporate job.

One of the VPs from hell at my last job actually offered me a job at her next company, even though I was totally terrified of her. I just remember practicing responses right from the books to every snotty thing she could possibly say before I gave a presentation on a big project she was sponsoring.

 

[gardenfun]

wow, reading all these stories about bad bosses, you have to wonder why people are surprised we want to (or have) Retired Early.
Or that the societal/cultural expectation seems to be to work until you drop for people like that.
Sheesh. Life's too short to put up with bipolar/narcissistic/sociopathic people who have control over your life in the workplace.
I've had a few bosses like that in my 30 year megacorp career myself, but I've just finished my glass of Johnnie Walker Black Label, and I'm too mellow to bring all that misery into my consciousness again.
Cheers, everyone!

 

[RunningBum]

I worked a few years for a boss like that. Finally we had a reorg and I got out from under him. Eventually I left the company and went somewhere else, and a couple years later heard he'd been laid off. Then one day my then-current boss showed me his resume, thinking I might know him since it looked like we had crossed paths, and I put my arms up over my face in terror. He did not make it to the interview process. Sometimes life works out. I even thought for a minute to make sure I wasn't rejecting him on personal reasons, but on second thought I was sure he was just not someone who should be hired.

 

[truenorth418]

Minimise contact, make sure you have some stress relievers outside the office and keep telling yourself it is only two more years.

+1

 

[robnplunder]

I told an assistant manager about it and he suggested I call our headquarters and complain. I didn't do that but the assistant manager passed the complaint on anyway without telling me.

For some time now (at least CA where I work), managers are required to report such things with or without consent from complainer. We are also required to get training on harassment every other year.

 

[lhamo]

I've mentioned this before, but worth bringing up again in this context. One thing that really helped me get through a rough 6-month period between when I knew I would be leaving a job (after major fall-out/blow-up with psycho boss) and when I could actually leave (needed to wrap up projects that were important to me and get my transition plan in line) was creating a spreadsheet where I actually calculated how much I was earning by every additional day I worked, as well as a running tally of earnings. As I made it to the end of every work day, I sang a little inner "kaching!" to myself. PTO days were scheduled sporadically along the way, never more than 3 weeks worked without a day off of some kind (holidays and comp time also played into it). That little spreadsheet was one of the few happy things in my life during that very dark period.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

For some time now (at least CA where I work), managers are required to report such things with or without consent from complainer. We are also required to get training on harassment every other year.

Maybe that was it. I actually never complained about the manager harassing me, at least not at first. I just tried to avoid him over that. But then he still sought me out and once when he located me he told me to my face that I was mentally ill for shying away from him and seemed to have a problem with men. You know, your normal every day, totally work place appropriate manager - subordinate kind of chat - not!

Sadly, I can't say he was even the worst boss I ever had. I have worked for some crazy people over the years, too.

 

[growing_older]

I've had a few stints with bad bosses. What usually works for me is making sure I meet every explicit or implied commitment I make. Ever say "I can do that" then I do it and keep a log. Otherwise try to keep head down, appear visible at my desk for ALL working hours and then some, and hope someone else looks more attractive to get boss' unique brand of attention. This has almost always bought considerable time for a possible job search, or for boss to simply leave or move on. Sadly, it doesn't always work.

Currently I find myself in a similar situation. Maybe 2-3 years until FIRE and I'd prefer to keep this job until then. After 2 good bosses, I've now got a new clueless one. Every meeting he has new (unattainable) goals and ideas and the entire dept is confused and seething. We've lost a few people already directly because of him. I'm looking and I'm sure many others are. At least he's not evil, just unrealistic and out of touch. Still it will almost certainly mean we all lose our bonus for 2014, so maybe he's a management fox.

I'm trying to be as detached as possible. The job just needs to pay expenses for a few years. Let the 401k continue to pile up. Hope the market is kind. Watch that end date get ever closer on the calendar. And, I I do have a low key job search active in case I can turn up a better situation.

 

[LoneAspen]

Looking bad through my career, I've never had a crazy-nuts psycho type of boss, but I can say they were all "managers" except for one "leader", who happens to be the person who hired me into my current company. Brilliant technical guy, nicest guy you could work for, but unfortunately for me, I'm now two levels below him (he's VP level, I'm a peon) because of company growth. I have no desire to climb the ladder, so no chance of reducing the number of levels between me and him. Oh well. Such is life.

Anyway...reading through all these bad boss stories made me remember somebody I used to work for a few years ago who used to talk about what he was going to do when he left MegaCorp.

One day in the company cafeteria at lunch, he started telling us about how he was going to start his own company with a handful of employees, put them into stressful situations, stir the pot, and then watch what develops. Almost like he'd get a kick out of manipulating people and making their lives hell. I think he was serious, too, he sure didn't seem like he was joking.

My group never sat with him at lunch again, that's for sure.

 

[robnplunder]

One day in the company cafeteria at lunch, he started telling us about how he was going to start his own company with a handful of employees, put them into stressful situations, stir the pot, and then watch what develops. Almost like he'd get a kick out of manipulating people and making their lives hell. I think he was serious, too, he sure didn't seem like he was joking.

This is what my boss is doing. He enjoys seeing others suffer/squirm. E.g, he'd ask a subjective question. Any answer one gives is the wrong answer and he will demean & counter it with his own subjective one. A real sad guy, really.

 

[MRG]

Interesting article on different management styles:

http://hiring.monster.com/hr/hr-bes...ent/hr-management-skills/types-of-bosses.aspx

MRG

 

[tryan]

About half way into my 12 years with a tyrant, he figured out I was buying and managing rental property. So he called me into his office and demanded my "moonlighting" stop.

I had been teetering on an REO purchase .. wasn't sure bringing another property into the fold was too much. Well NOW I had my answer ... I ultimately would purchase 6 properties from the same bank. The appreciation and monthly cashflow that followed provided a good chunk of my FI. Always said I had my boss to thank.

 

[kcowan]

I always viewed the occasional bad boss as an opportunity for me to practice my coping skills. One of them was fired. Another suffered a fatal heart attack on the job.

I am always sympathetic to those situations for employees but never for the bosses.

 

[Options]

This is what my boss is doing. He enjoys seeing others suffer/squirm. E.g, he'd ask a subjective question. Any answer one gives is the wrong answer and he will demean & counter it with his own subjective one. A real sad guy, really.

Given any thought to just getting the hell out of Dodge? You've got two years left. Do you really want to spend two years out of your life in this type of environment? Every time we're stressed our bodies release Cortisol. Studies have shown continued release due to chronic low level stress damages the body considerably. What are your other options? I'll bet if you started looking for another job if only as an experiment the idea of having options would help immensely.

What has changed my attitude (about everything actually) is not to view ER as some type of panacea. I told myself I need to be happy now, not the day after I retire (even if it is only 55 Tuesdays away, but who's counting? )

Unhappiness results from lack of control, and there are only two responses: take action or walk away. Failure to do either will eat slowly away at you. Do you really want that?

 

[robnplunder]

Given any thought to just getting the hell out of Dodge? You've got two years left. Do you really want to spend two years out of your life in this type of environment? Every time we're stressed our bodies release Cortisol. Studies have shown continued release due to chronic low level stress damages the body considerably. What are your other options? I'll bet if you started looking for another job if only as an experiment the idea of having options would help immensely.

What has changed my attitude (about everything actually) is not to view ER as some type of panacea. I told myself I need to be happy now, not the day after I retire (even if it is only 55 Tuesdays away, but who's counting? )

Unhappiness results from lack of control, and there are only two responses: take action or walk away. Failure to do either will eat slowly away at you. Do you really want that?

Fully agree, thanks. My target retirement date is moving up as I write. I don't believe I will wait two more years for RE.

 

[Dcharles]

I can thank my two bosses for the incentive to ER. they have the classic clueless approach to demean people, take credit for your your, make threats on future performance lie, never giving credit and always nitpicking on minor items while the ship is sinking. It was planning to retire at 67, but after reading this forum, doing the math and the numbers, we were able to ER at 60 years old, or 7 years early. I wish I could have done this sooner! I do not miss mega corp, even though it has only been 6 weeks sine I "pulled the pin"". It feels great! I feel sorry for the employees suffering under these two tyrants I was able to escape from. Sometimes I feel guilty!, How crazy is that? I just need to learn to forgive, forget and move on!