Ex Spouse Filing For Social Security Question

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

My daughter texted me today and said her dad was asking for the date of our Marriage and Divorce since he was filing for his retirement which I take to be his Social Security. I told her that I had no idea but I'd look tomorrow if I got a chance. We were married in another country and I suspect the next question will be what's my SS number which I absolutely will not give him. I'm assuming that Social Security maybe checks my record as well as his to ensure he gets the maximum benefit and I suspect I'm the higher earner. Frankly it annoys me that he has the nerve to ask our daughter who he's always treated poorly since both her and her brother (my son) refuse to allow him to bring his lunatic drug addict step daughter with 5 DUI's into their homes. I know it sounds childish but I'm tempted to blow him off and make him do the work to figure it out on his own, he certainly never went out of his way to make my life easy with the sporadic child support payments that I got. We were married for more than ten years and he's a little over a year older than me and did remarry and his wife died a couple of years ago which I think makes him eligible to claim off my benefit. I have not reached my full retirement age and am not claiming my SS yet. I rarely see him and we can talk civilly when we do see each other but this is just asking too much.
So rant over and can anyone tell me if these are normal questions for social security to ask about an ex spouse? If it is, I have all the information that I will need when it becomes time to file for my benefit and I won't need to ask him for any information. Meantime he can go dig through his own divorce paperwork to get the information that he's looking for.
Oh one last thing, our divorce was very clean cut, he kept (and spent) all his retirement accounts and I kept mine and it was all spelled out in the divorce agreement at the time.

 

[SecondCor521]

I haven't claimed yet, but yes, it is my understanding that since his marital history likely means that he is qualified for divorced spousal benefits on your record, then SS will expect him to provide information about his marriage to you, including the marriage certificate and the divorce decree. He may also have to provide the marriage and death certificates for his second wife as well.

Yes, he will get the higher of his benefit on his record, or divorced spousal benefits on your record, or maybe even surviving spousal benefits on his second wife's record (although that sounds unlikely) if he qualifies for them.

I don't know for certain, but I bet SS can find your earnings record for evaluating his benefit without your SSN, because that number is private to you (at least in theory).

All of the information he needs should be available to him without your or your daughter's assistance because it's public record.

Likewise you should have all the information you need when you go to claim -- SS will check to see if your divorced spousal benefits on his record are higher than your own benefit, which it sounds like they aren't. I don't know if SS will let you skip that step if you know it won't matter.

You probably know this, but his claiming his SS benefits has no impact on your SS benefits.

 

[Drake3287]

Aside from all the family problems, you may be required by law to give him your social security number in order to file for SS. When a person qualifies for SS under an ex-spouse you have little or no say. Many people have been down this same road. He probably also qualifies for Medicare also under you if he doesn't have enough quarters.

 

[VanWinkle]

It sounds like you have been the sane one through all of these years. I
agree with your regrets concerning his treatment of the kids. Making his
life harder may feel good, but it is likely the wrong move if you ever hope
to find peace in these matters.

Good Luck,

VW

 

[Chuckanut]

FWIW, I keep a cooperative attitude with my former wife for the sake of the children. They don’t need mom and dad trash talking each other and stirring up past wrongs.

The best advice I got after my divorce was this:

Being bitter is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

I haven't claimed yet, but yes, it is my understanding that since his marital history likely means that he is qualified for divorced spousal benefits on your record, then SS will expect him to provide information about his marriage to you, including the marriage certificate and the divorce decree. He may also have to provide the marriage and death certificates for his second wife as well.

Yes, he will get the higher of his benefit on his record, or divorced spousal benefits on your record, or maybe even surviving spousal benefits on his second wife's record (although that sounds unlikely) if he qualifies for them.

I don't know for certain, but I bet SS can find your earnings record for evaluating his benefit without your SSN, because that number is private to you (at least in theory).

All of the information he needs should be available to him without your or your daughter's assistance because it's public record.

Likewise you should have all the information you need when you go to claim -- SS will check to see if your divorced spousal benefits on his record are higher than your own benefit, which it sounds like they aren't. I don't know if SS will let you skip that step if you know it won't matter.

You probably know this, but his claiming his SS benefits has no impact on your SS benefits.

Yes I know that, and I suppose it could go the other way to although I doubt it. Just so annoying that he asks our daughter who absolutely does not want to be involved, it just shows once again what a completely self absorbed idiot he is. To keep the peace I'll give him the information except the SS number
Thanks

 

[Chuckanut]

FWIW, I managed to slip in under the wire and collect on my former wife’s account from 66 to 70. I never told her, since it had no effect on her payments.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

To be clear we've been divorced for close to 25 years and I'm not bitter in any way. I divorced him for the sake of our kids who are now both happily married and successful. He's an alcoholic and that's someone you can't fix in a marriage. He's had a hard life since our divorce, he had colon cancer, no health insurance and almost lost his house. I had to give him my spare car so he could at least get to work. He pulled all the money out of his retirement in his 30's and spent it all in bars, then the IRS came after him for the taxes and penalties and made his life miserable for the next ten years until he was able to work out a deal with them. Then the state came after him once the IRS was done with him. I feel sorry for him but I want nothing to do with him, frankly he's the definition of white trash. I've only recently found out a bunch of stuff about him from my son in law who hates him with a passion for the way he manages to upset my daughter and make her feel second best all the time. Recently he's decided he wants to be involved in family stuff which he's never shown any interest in before. I believe it's cause he realizes it because he's getting older and wants his kids around to take care of him when or if it's ever needed. He just inserted himself into a family vacation to the UK and while he'll be living with his sister, just the fact that he's in the same town for some of the time has me stressed to the max.
Anyway I just wanted to ask if this divorce information was something normally required by SS and be sure he wasn't being conned or trying to con me in some way and I got my answer.
Thanks for all your comments and have a great day!!

 

[Teacher Terry]

OP, it was so generous of you to give him your spare car so he could get to work. You have gone above and beyond for him.