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Birth Control in the South - Joke......
Old 05-19-2005, 03:38 PM   #1
 
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Birth Control in the South - Joke......

Warning: if you are from the South, you may wish to pass on this one.

************************************************** ***
AFTER THEIR 11TH CHILD, A TENNESEE COUPLE DECIDED THAT WAS ENOUGH AS THEY COULD NOT AFFORD A LARGER BED. SO THE HUSBAND WENT TO HIS VETERINARIAN AND TOLD HIM THAT HE AND HIS COUSIN DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE ANY MORE CHILDREN.
THE DOCTOR TOLD HIM THAT THERE WAS A PROCEDURE CALLED A VASECTOMY THAT COULD FIX THE PROBLEM BUT THAT IT WAS EXPENSIVE.

"A LESS COSTLY ALTERNATIVE," SAID THE DOCTOR, "IS TO GO HOME, GET A CHERRY BOMB, LIGHT IT, PUT IT IN A BEER CAN, THEN HOLD THE CAN UP TO YOUR EAR AND COUNT TO 10."

THE TENNESSEE HILLBILLY SAID TO THE DOCTOR, "I MAY NOT BE THE SMARTEST TOOL IN THE SHED, BUT I DON'T SEE HOW PUTTING A CHERRY BOMB IN A BEER CAN NEXT TO MY EAR IS GOING TO HELP ME."

"TRUST ME," SAID THE DOCTOR.

SO THE MAN WENT HOME, LIT A CHERRY BOMB AND PUT IT IN A BEER CAN. HE HELD THE CAN UP TO HIS EAR AND BEGAN TO COUNT,
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"

AT WHICH POINT HE PAUSED, PLACED THE BEER CAN BETWEEN HIS LEGS, AND RESUMED COUNTING ON HIS OTHER HAND.


THIS PROCEDURE ALSO WORKS IN TEXAS, KENTUCKY, ALABAMA, LOUISIANA, MISSISSIPPI, AND WEST VIRGINIA.



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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......
Old 05-19-2005, 04:06 PM   #2
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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......
Old 05-19-2005, 04:13 PM   #3
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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......

The russian president calls the US president with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "my people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"The American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.
"I do need your help,. Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!"
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?"
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?"
"No problem," replied the President and, with that, the US president hung up and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor....you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE SMALL' on each one...
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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......
Old 05-19-2005, 04:18 PM   #4
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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......

Three great jokes, even if I am born in the South.

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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......
Old 05-19-2005, 04:22 PM   #5
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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......

Quote:
THIS PROCEDURE ALSO WORKS IN TEXAS, KENTUCKY, ALABAMA, LOUISIANA, MISSISSIPPI, AND WEST VIRGINIA

At least include other backward states - N & S Carolina, Georgia

Seen some people it could apply to in Flordia as well (sunny place for shady people)
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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......
Old 05-19-2005, 04:23 PM   #6
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Re: Birth Control in the South - Joke......

Uh, it would apply to many people living in my own fine city. I regularly note to the wife while observing pedestrians that a little bleach in the gene pool around here wouldnt hurt a bit. Another favorite "I hope they're not going to reproduce"...
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