Breaking the Chain

[kyounge1956]

I got one of those "forward this to (number) people" emails from a friend the other day. I don't know why, but these things rub me the wrong way, and I have a personal policy of never forwarding them. The only emails I forward are virus/scam warnings, and those only after I have checked them out to make sure they are genuine.

Does anyone else dislike getting these chain-letter type messages? Would you ask your friends not to send them? Can my friends tell that I break the chain, even if I don't say so?

 

[KB]

I dislike getting those letters and usually write back and ask the sender to remove me from their distribution list. I've found that they don't respond to my request, but do remove me from their forwarding list.

 

[W2R]

I think the reason that I dislike these letters is that they are so superstitious! How could any reasonable person with a sound basis in either science OR religion ever believe that breaking the chain would cause bad luck?

I *always* break the chain. I don't tell anyone that I break the chain, and I don't request to be left off chain letters, so I don't suppose that anyone knows that I always break the chain.

In general I am a very lucky person. So, breaking the chain apparently hasn't affected me in a negative way. I believe that the reason that I am so lucky is that I am determined to make my own luck. Maybe my philosophy is a secular extension of "God helps those who help themselves."

 

[freebird5825]

These things are so silly.
If I feel like I need some luck, I'd rather spend my time looking for 4 leaf clovers in my lawn.

I get REALLY torqued if my email address is displayed in the forwarding string.
If a bcc: is used, I'm merely perturbed.

1st strike: I politely ask the sender to remove me.
2nd strike: if it persists, I use a stronger response, usually in person.
3rd strike gets the person's blocked with a strong message that I will have no choice but to notify their ISP that they are spamming. I've rarely had to do this.

 

[Goonie]

I had a friend (key word "had") that used to send several of those worthless pieces of cr*p everyday! I finally had enough of it...especially since I had dial-up at that time....and politely asked him to not send those to me, and I explained why. He got thoroughly p!ssed off at me, and sent me an email (his final one) saying, basically "fine....you don't want to hear from me, I'll never send you anything or talk to you again!"

I emailed him, and called him on the phone and tried to tell him that it wasn't that I didn't want email or phone calls, only that I didn't want THOSE kind of emails. He hung up on me, and I've not heard from him since.....that's was about 12-15 years ago. And it's really kind of strange, because we'd been close friends for many years......Oh well, life goes on!

I still occasionally get what appears to be a 'chain' email, so I immediately drop to the end of it to be sure that it's one, and delete it! If 'chain' emails are about the only type of thing that I normally receive from the person sending it, I set up my email filter to automatically delete email from that person. Now I seldom get that kind of cr*p in my inbox!

 

[bssc]

Well, at w*rk, there is an email abuse address that you can forward them to and the sender gets a stern warning and their boss is cc'd. Plus there is a filter which flags things, including virus warnings and doesn't let the message be sent. One of my legit emails hit the filter and I had to change the title. It has been at least seven years since I got one at work.

Unfortunately at home, I have certain well meaning relatives who must be sternly sent warnings from Snopes. I noticed that several Aunts have dropped me from their chain emails because of this, not that I am complaining.

 

[Goonie]

I believe that the reason that I am so lucky is that I am determined to make my own luck. Maybe my philosophy is a secular extension of "God helps those who help themselves."

You and me both, sister!

 

[FIREd]

I hate those chain letters too. I break the chain everytime and tell people to stop sending me trash. If they continue to annoy me with such non-sense, I just add them to my list of blocked email addresses.

 

[happy2bretired]

I get emails, jokes, chain letter, etc. from people from my old job. I've been deleting them without even opening them. I'm glad they always list a subject on the subject line, at least that way I can open the ones that might be an invite to lunch or something. They don't need to know I don't open 99.9% of their emails.

 

[Gumby]

I get emails, jokes, chain letter, etc. from people from my old job. I've been deleting them without even opening them. I'm glad they always list a subject on the subject line, at least that way I can open the ones that might be an invite to lunch or something. They don't need to know I don't open 99.9% of their emails.

That's my strategy. No point in picking a fight over it.

 

[Meadbh]

I delete these things, unless they come from someone at work (e.g. my secretary), in which case I speak to the person and ask him/her to cease and desist. If someone who is a direct report to me is wasting company time and bandwidth sending chain letters, and does not stop when I ask them to, I consider it a performance issue. I once fired someone for this (and being lazy).

Our firewall has antennae out for this kind of thing and when it sees a distribution list to "all" will either quarantine the message or dump it automatically in the junk mail folders. It's actually quite efficient. It filters and dumps quite a lot of junk mail from my university, too, not only notices about fire drills and asbestos removal but even news about research grants! So I do have to check the junk mail folder on a regular basis.

 

[RonBoyd]

Well, I am convinced that if you step on a crack, you will break your momma's back.

 

[W2R]

Well, I am convinced that if you step on a crack, you will break your momma's back.

I used to step on every crack when I was mad at my mother, as a child. Then I would feel so guilty!! But she never did break her back.

 

[WhoDaresWins]

Yeah, I get these, too. I just delete them when I see what they are. I'm not the least bit superstitious....ahem...except a good friend who hails from rural LA has me touching a button whenever I see a hearse.

 

[Alan]

I got one of those "forward this to (number) people" emails from a friend the other day. I don't know why, but these things rub me the wrong way, and I have a personal policy of never forwarding them. The only emails I forward are virus/scam warnings, and those only after I have checked them out to make sure they are genuine.

Does anyone else dislike getting these chain-letter type messages? Would you ask your friends not to send them? Can my friends tell that I break the chain, even if I don't say so?

Count me in the "always break the chain" category. I used to get aggravated when I received them but these days don't even give it a 2nd thought and just delete them.

 

[Alan]

How could any reasonable person with a sound basis in either science OR religion ever believe that breaking the chain would cause bad luck?

These are the folks whose retirement plan is to buy lottery tickets every month - even those that understand probabilities.

 

[W2R]

These are the folks whose retirement plan is to buy lottery tickets every month - even those that understand probabilities.

I think you're right!! Pitiful, isn't it.

 

[kyounge1956]

I think the reason that I dislike these letters is that they are so superstitious! How could any reasonable person with a sound basis in either science OR religion ever believe that breaking the chain would cause bad luck?

I *always* break the chain. I don't tell anyone that I break the chain, and I don't request to be left off chain letters, so I don't suppose that anyone knows that I always break the chain.

In general I am a very lucky person. So, breaking the chain apparently hasn't affected me in a negative way. I believe that the reason that I am so lucky is that I am determined to make my own luck. Maybe my philosophy is a secular extension of "God helps those who help themselves."

I'm not talking about messages that threaten something bad will happen if you break the chain. I'd probably ask the sender to take me off their forwarding list if I got a message like that (and I doubt that I'd be enormously upset if they stopped sending me emails altogether). This is more similar to the old recipe chain (done by postal mail) you may have seen ages ago, or postcard chains which I even think I remember doing in school—someone sends you a recipe or postcard, you're supposed to send multiple recipes or postcards out, and (theoretically) in a little while you get back a whole raft of recipes or postcards.

I've got more important stuff to do, and even if I don't get around to doing the important stuff, if I'm going to waste my time there are plenty of ways I'd rather waste it than forwarding silly chain letters!

 

[W2R]

I don't respond to those, either. I always assumed they were voluntary so it never occurred to me that anyone would be upset if I didn't continue the chain.

I guess the lack of response by people like me, might be why some of those same chain letters threaten bad luck if you don't respond!

 

[kyounge1956]

These things are so silly.
If I feel like I need some luck, I'd rather spend my time looking for 4 leaf clovers in my lawn.

I get REALLY torqued if my email address is displayed in the forwarding string.
If a bcc: is used, I'm merely perturbed.

1st strike: I politely ask the sender to remove me.
2nd strike: if it persists, I use a stronger response, usually in person.
3rd strike gets the person's blocked with a strong message that I will have no choice but to notify their ISP that they are spamming. I've rarely had to do this.

Hmmm. I never thought about the fact that my email address is getting scattered around hither, thither and yon to a bunch of total strangers. On the one I just got, my name is just my name, but all the other peoples' emails are visible, so probably they can all see mine.

 

[bssc]

Hmmm. I never thought about the fact that my email address is getting scattered around hither, thither and yon to a bunch of total strangers. On the one I just got, my name is just my name, but all the other peoples' emails are visible, so probably they can all see mine.

Yes, I have gotten potential virus emails from a friend of a friend because my email address was on their system. McAfee caught it but I suspect that is where some of my spam comes from.

 

[SciFiFan53]

I delete these things, unless they come from someone at work (e.g. my secretary), in which case I speak to the person and ask him/her to cease and desist. If someone who is a direct report to me is wasting company time and bandwidth sending chain letters, and does not stop when I ask them to, I consider it a performance issue. I once fired someone for this (and being lazy).

Same here. There are quite a few of these that used to float around at work. I got a few of them until I told those people I didn't want to get any of that kind of thing. I also reminded them that our company IT policy says that you can be fired for using company computers for anything but company business. With the capability to track everything you do with the computer, I've always told employees to act as if the CEO was standing behind you watching everything you accessed, sent, or typed.
I haven't had more than maybe 1 of these at work in the last 10 years - maybe they've stopped (NOT), or maybe they just don't send them to me anymore.

 

[Orchidflower]

Count me in the group that hates these chain emails. I have a friend who used to send me tons of these things. Some were religious based, which I really didn't get at all the purpose of those? I would open them, delete them and never send them on. She eventually stopped...thank heaven!
I was somewhat taken aback at Goonie's friend cutting him off because he asked him to stop sending chain emails. Wow..that was pretty hardcore of the "friend." Sorry, Goonie...I'm sure it took you by surprise and had to hurt your feelings when it happened. Never know why some old friends leave for such petty reasons, but they do sometimes.

 

[RonBoyd]

Since I haven't had this particular problem for many years, I had forgotten how I had stopped it. I used this to cut off the flow:

Nice way to say..."Stop Forwarding!"

What is a nice way of telling someone to stop sending you forwarded emails? You'll see several versions of that questions on my site and here on my Blog. Seems to be a pretty common problem to say the least!

Unfortunately, in my experience and those of many who write to me, no matter how nice you are, it won't be nice enough to not have them get mad or feel as though their efforts were not appreciated. They think they are being thoughtful and by asking them to stop, well... There just doesn't seem to be a "nice" way -- a truthful way, that's another answer.

So to help onliners out, I have my article "5 Rules of Forwarding" that you can send folks to and let me be the bad guy.

You can point them "nicely" to my article and say something to the effect, "I found this site and there is a bunch of good information that I didn't know about E-mail Etiquette. Little did I know I've been breaking so many rules including about forwarding e-mail. Since you forward a lot too, I thought you might be interested as well! ;-)

The following are extracts from a “10-point Guideline on Netiquette” found at NetM@nners.com (specifically at http://netmanners.com/netiquette_101.html):

This:
“One of the common requests I receive through this site is from folks wanting to know a "nice way" of telling someone they care about to stop sending joke, hoax and chain e-mails without hurting their feelings. Speaking for those who know you, we have seen those e-mails before, many times - cut us a break - verify them before you send them to us or just hit delete!”

And this:
“Never just forward e-mail without a comment as to why you are forwarding the e-mail to the recipient. To forward without comment is bossy, lazy and rude. Do you want the party to comment or review? Is there a specific issue you want them to address? Did you have a particular reason why you forwarded to them that specific e-mail? Always let the recipient know why you are forwarding an e-mail to them. Including what, if anything, you need them to respond to or what action is required by them.”




“If you are new online, raise your right hand and repeat after me:

1. "I will not forward any dumb joke, "chain letter" or unimportant e-mails to my friends without their permission."
   "I will not forward any dumb joke, "chain letter" or unimportant e-mails to my friends without their permission."
2. "I understand that by doing so I may fill up their in box, use other's resources unnecessarily and may cause other important e-mail to bounce."
   "I understand that by doing so I may fill up their in box, use other's resources unnecessarily and may cause other important e-mail to bounce."
3. "I understand that most folks have seen these e-mails a million times and find them annoying."
   "I understand that most folks have seen these e-mails a million times and find them annoying."
4. "I know that by forwarding these so-called humorous e-mails I may offend or tick off people who do not share my sense of humor or who are sick of having stupid e-mails forwarded to them each time a Newbie hops online."
   "I know that by forwarding these so-called humorous e-mails I may offend or tick off people who do not share my sense of humor or who are sick of having stupid e-mails forwarded to them each time a Newbie hops online."

There! Now, that wasn't too bad was it? ;-) You will no longer be tempted to forward those jokes, untruthful or frivolous e-mail that instruct you to forward to your friends! And, you will avoid looking silly and uninformed in the process. Read them if you must then hit delete. You really don't believe e-mail that state certain things will happen simply by you forwarding the e-mail to 10 friends do you? Talk about a waste of resources!!


In addition, many of these e-mails are actually hoaxes or downright bogus. Before you forward an e-mail that appears good intentioned with an incredible story that instructs you to "read and share" with everyone you know, first check Snopes.com to see if the story is even legit in the first place and not a hoax. Not doing so can have you eating crow when everyone you e-mail is informed you just forwarded a hoax and didn't know any better. And, don't get mad at someone if they point out to you that you were uninformed by perpetuating a hoax! If you don't know for a fact that the e-mail you are forwarding is accurate and specifically apropos to the person you are forwarding to and you know they will want to receive it - all you have to do is ask first.”

 

[Tesaje]

Interesting that not one person here is even in the don't mind category. Seems like pretty good anecdotal evidence that the "bad luck" threats never happen since ER can be good evidence of good luck! Count me in always break the chain with threats or not.