Drama at the x-mas party

[laurence]

So excuse me if I don't make sense, I'm ducking frunk right now. We had our annual x-mas party tonight, lots of friends and family. Much food and drink, everyithing was great. That is untill DW got wasted and went to bed. Long story short my cousin-in-law made a pass at me (she was very drunk). I helped her to the guest bed and got her to sleep. So my question is, do I tell Dw? I'm sure cousin doesn't really like me, it was just a moment of stupidity. I think telling DW would lead to unneeded drama. Thoughts?

 

[BigMoneyJim]

< Wondering if I should hide this thread in case everyone forgets what happened by tomorrow... >

 

[Mr._johngalt]

  Long story short my cousin-in-law made a pass at me (she was very drunk).  I helped her to the guest bed and got her to sleep.  So my question is, do I tell Dw?  I'm sure cousin doesn't really like me, it was just a moment of stupidity.  I think telling DW would lead to unneeded drama.  Thoughts?   

Yeah, tell DW. That's a real good idea.

JG

 

[WhodaThunkit]

No!!! Good grief. Forget about it

 

[frayne]

I helped her to the guest bed and got her to sleep.  So my question is, do I tell Dw? 

Just tell us how you accomplished that !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[cube_rat]

That's a tough one. I say tell the wife but emphasize-->drunk.

 

[Outtahere]

Ugh...if no one saw it and cousin was too drunk to remember then let it pass just like you would if someone said something stupid while drunk. Also take into consideration what DW would do/say if you told her. whould she laugh it off? If so then tell her, only you know what your DWs reaction will be.


I also won't be surprised if this tread disappears.

 

[cube_rat]

I also won't be surprised if this tread disappears.

I thought about the same thing! I think his wife reads these forums, if I'm not misaken.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

That's a tough one.     I say tell the wife but emphasize-->drunk. 

I am going to be serious for once.  It's a no-brainer.  Don't tell the wife
anything.  Don't lie.  Just avoid the topic.  If it comes up anyway,
just pretend you are Bob Brinker and answer some question other
than the one you are asked.  

JG

 

[wildcat]

L -

You are now among the elite in my book. Hail Laurence!

 

[bruce1]

My instinct is don't tell anyone anything, don't even mention it. If it ever comes up in conversation just explain that you thought it was trivial and dismissed it from your mind as the cousin was drunk.

If the cousin married she is unlikley to mention it even if she remembers.

Bruce

 

[REWahoo]

... I'm ducking frunk right now... my cousin-in-law made a pass at me (she was very drunk).... do I tell Dw?

Are you nucking futs!!!!! Nell ho!!!

 

[TromboneAl]

Yes, tell her. But put it like this: "Want to hear something weird? Cousin was really, really drunk last night, and she even got a little flirty with me. No big deal but sheesh!"

Otherwise, DW hears about it from someone else (or even cousin), doesn't hear about it from you, and starts to wonder about things.

 

[HFWR]

Hmmmmmmmmm...

My pragmatic self says NO... probably a one-off, no harm, no foul.
My idealistic side says YES... trust, honestly, etc.

It's a tie!!

If there's even the slightest chance this will get back to DW, would it look like you're hiding something?

 

[HFWR]

Cube rat... Hubba, hubba!!

 

[LovesLife]

Laurence,

I wouldn't say anything about it. If it is trivial in your mind, then that is all the merit it deserves. If your wife hears about it then simply explain what happened. If you have nothing to feel guilty about then you have nothing to worry about.

However, Laurence, you should NOT have gone to crime scene number 2. That was a mistake.

LL

 

[cube_rat]

Cube rat... Hubba, hubba!!

hehehe, I changed my avatar specifically for this thread (no, it's not me)

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Otherwise, DW hears about it from someone else (or even cousin), doesn't hear about it from you, and starts to wonder about things.

Let her wonder. Sometimes it's good to keep 'em guessing.

JG

 

[Nords]

My first question is-- where are the pictures, and when are you going to post them? No, no, I'm referring to the party... ho-ho-ho indeed.

I think telling DW would lead to unneeded drama.  Thoughts?   

Like T-Al says, tell her now. (Put down the mouse and walk over to her as soon as you finish reading this thread!!) You haven't imagined the worst-case scenario. "Unneeded drama" is nothing compared to the drama of NOT telling your wife.

Years ago I was best man at an out-of-control bachelor party (yeah, I know, redundant.) while spouse attended the bachelorette's party. When I staggered home (around 4 AM, a few hours before showtime) we compared notes. I started with "Wow, they were it was awesome!" and furnished a full report. Hilarity ensued, along with other things, and we eventually tried to sober up catch up on our sleep.

The groom, in a similar situation with his cohabitating fiancée, said "Oh, it was nothing special." (Funny, it didn't appear to be "nothing special" when the stripper was slicing him out of his underwear. But I digress.) I think they both tried to sober up catch up on their sleep.

Later that pre-nuptial morning in the synagogue, with the rabbi & guests all standing by, the bride was fussing with her attire and asked my spouse "So, how did your husband enjoy last night?" My spouse replied "It was awesome!" and furnished a full report.

Chaos ensued. The wedding eventually proceeded but in retrospect it shouldn't have.

So, Laurence, you can remain silent. But inevitably someone is sure to mention that night to your "relative" or even worse, to your spouse, or your cousin-in-law might even feel obligated to apologize to your spouse. Those would not be good moments for your spouse to be hearing about it for the first time. Your silence would not be interpreted as nobly shielding spouse from "unneeded drama".

Another nightmare scenario-- your CIL would monitor subsequent events, learn that you haven't said a thing to your spouse, and interpret that as an offer to proceed further with her conquest. When that campaign meets its inevitable conclusion and the critique is held, you don't want to be discussing it with your wife using phrases like "Well, I haven't mentioned this to you before" and "Last year at the Christmas party"...

Besides, far better for your CIL to receive a stinkeye or two from your wife. That behavior definitely earned it.

I sure hope this CIL isn't related to any of your Wisconsin butt-kicking relatives...

I helped her to the guest bed and got her to sleep.

I don't wanna know either. But if I were you, I'd be the one doing the guest-bedroom laundry...

So, is CIL on the guest list for 2006? And speaking of guest lists, let me know what I should bring next year!

 

[TromboneAl]

OTOH, you always have this thread to back up your story if DW hears about it elsewhere.

...Unless you posted here just so you'd have an alibi.

 

[laurence]

O.K., thanks for the responses, first let me clear something up - crime scene no. 2 I didn't do anything! But anyways, if anybody else had been there, I would not hesitate to tell DW, but at this point it was just the three of us in the house as everybody else had gone home. DW only reads this board over my shoulder on occasion. CIL was really far gone, in nearly ten years of knowing her this is the first hint of an incident, and this morning she was asking what happened, I feel pretty strongly I shouldn't say anything, and if asked I won't deny.

But the party was awesome! Anybody had Vox vodka? Very smooth. We polished off a bottle of that, a bottle of finlandia, a bottle of silver patron, and a bottle of the "good" patron. Then we hit the Souza and the Smirnoff, since taste buds weren't an issue at this point. (for the record, nobody died, there were ~30 of us).

Got destroyed at my own fooseball table.

 

[kat]

Still looking for a response?

The answer is no.

(You must still be drunk to be considering it.)

Sounds like a good party though!


kate

 

[AltaRed]

With some 35 years of marriage behind me, I would certainly disclose the event to DW. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.  

I'd disclose it today or tomorrow and start with something like "You need to know something about last night so it doesn't get twisted all out of proportion by someone else" and simply tell her the facts in about 10 sentences and leave it like that.  You want to be matter-of-fact about it and not make a big deal out of it.. otherwise, she could suspect more.  

The last thing you want to say is...  "Don't make a big deal out of this, but....".  It's not for you to tell her or decide whether she should or not make a big deal out of it.  Having said that, only you know your spouse and how she will react.  Think the key thing though is to simply state the facts with no emotion whatsoever.

Edit: Just saw your last post regarding only the 3 of you in the house at the time. I would not say anything about it as kate suggests. It was an innocent situation and nothing happened.

 

[greg]

Laurence: My thoughts: I think you should treat it like it was exactly as it appeared. A speedbump in the night. It's just a bunch of crazy drunken people running around doing stupid fun and interesting things. Stop dwelling on it, don't bring it up to anyone unless they bring it up as an important event, then just stare at them like "What's wrong with you. It was just a bunch of drunks at a drunken party doing drunken stupid stuff."--nothing more. Unless IT was more --to you. But my guess is not. And probably not to the in-law or DW. But just in case, steer clear of her at your next drunken party

 

[cube_rat]

But the party was awesome! Anybody had Vox vodka? Very smooth. We polished off a bottle of that, a bottle of finlandia, a bottle of silver patron, and a bottle of the "good" patron. Then we hit the Souza and the Smirnoff, since taste buds weren't an issue at this point. (for the record, nobody died, there were ~30 of us).

A vodka orgy How's your head this morning, Laurence?