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Old 01-02-2011, 10:26 PM   #41
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But as Gumby correctly pointed out, the exact date when all this is going to happen is known only to God.
Clearly the Big Guy(s) (or Gal(s)) upstairs could reveal by prophesy the date to a chosen prophet. That seems to be how knowledge was transferred in the past. Maybe these May 21st folks were the chosen ones... Let's bump this thread May 22 and see!
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:31 PM   #42
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Clearly the Big Guy(s) (or Gal(s)) upstairs could reveal by prophesy the date to a chosen prophet. That seems to be how knowledge was transferred in the past.
Could be the word will be sent out via iPhone - as in "no wakeup call".

IPhone alarm fails on New Year

This was probably a test to be sure the system worked didn't work.
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:49 PM   #43
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Fortunately we still have two 10 gallon plastic thingies of fresh water left over from the Y2K end of the world, so we should be all right.
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Old 01-03-2011, 12:16 AM   #44
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Could be the word will be sent out via iPhone - as in "no wakeup call".
I forget-- is Steve Jobs God or does he just talk directly to God?
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Old 01-03-2011, 03:53 AM   #45
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Adjust your SWR accordingly.
I'd be very interested to find out whether the people behind this prediction have cashed in their retirement funds, since they won't be needing them. Presumably they will be handing out cash to the needy to help make their last 5 months in Mammonworld more comfortable, since when Jesus returns, all bets will be off (literally)...
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Old 01-03-2011, 04:03 AM   #46
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I'd be very interested to find out whether the people behind this prediction have cashed in their retirement funds, since they won't be needing them. Presumably they will be handing out cash to the needy to help make their last 5 months in Mammonworld more comfortable, since when Jesus returns, all bets will be off (literally)...
I doubt they have anything. They have probably given everything they have to Hey-Zeus already. Doubt if it was much.
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Old 01-03-2011, 06:29 AM   #47
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Did anyone happen to catch what time on 5/21/11 this will occur?

Dealing with Universal Coordinated Time and the International Date Line could make it pretty confusing. And don't even get me started about Newfoundland.
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Old 01-03-2011, 07:04 AM   #48
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Did anyone happen to catch what time on 5/21/11 this will occur?

Dealing with Universal Coordinated Time and the International Date Line could make it pretty confusing. And don't even get me started about Newfoundland
Yeah, when religion meets precision, things can get messy. It reminds me of this routine by Dave Allen (the joke is in the first minute; after that it gets a bit too happy-clappy for my taste).
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Old 01-03-2011, 08:13 AM   #49
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BTW, anybody see the news article about 5000 birds fell from the sky, dead. Anybody know of any Revelations passages that predict that?
TJ
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Old 01-03-2011, 08:36 AM   #50
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if enough kooks keep tossing out dates sooner or later one of them will be correct.
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My prediction is Jesus will return and will be the top google search hit for a few days, then it will revert back to Paris Hilton.
Unless Jesus does a no-panty exit from an automobile...

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Probably true. Then Jesus will text his father with something like "OMG F THS CRP" and leave. God will miss the text though, because he was in a long line waiting for the new Iphone 5. The world will go on.
OFGS!
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Old 01-03-2011, 08:45 AM   #51
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BTW, anybody see the news article about 5000 birds fell from the sky, dead. Anybody know of any Revelations passages that predict that?
TJ

No, but unfortunately bird deaths like this are not all that uncommon. Storms can cause this to happen.
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Old 01-03-2011, 08:53 AM   #52
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No, but unfortunately bird deaths like this are not all that uncommon. Storms can cause this to happen.
yeah, but it's getting weirder down there in Arkansas...100,000 dead fish to join the dead birds- what's next?
http://www.azfamily.com/outbound-fee...112809669.html
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Old 01-03-2011, 05:11 PM   #53
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This just in:

All Northeast Arkansas McDonalds restaurants to offer free McFish and Chicken? McNuggets, while supplies last

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Old 05-15-2011, 03:14 PM   #54
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Well apparently people ARE going all in and spending all their money in preparation for May 21st. It'll be interesting to see what it does to the welfare rolls of various states:

Is The End Nigh? We'll Know Soon Enough : NPR
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Old 05-15-2011, 04:06 PM   #55
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Well apparently people ARE going all in and spending all their money in preparation for May 21st. It'll be interesting to see what it does to the welfare rolls of various states:

Is The End Nigh? We'll Know Soon Enough : NPR
I just bought a new lawnmower with all the gizmos and gadgets (see "what did you do today?" thread).
Hmmmm...48 hours to charge the battery leaves me only 4 days to enjoy it.
Bummer
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Old 05-15-2011, 04:21 PM   #56
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I just bought a new lawnmower with all the gizmos and gadgets (see "what did you do today?" thread).
Hmmmm...48 hours to charge the battery leaves me only 4 days to enjoy it.
Bummer
Maybe you could and mow my grass too, that'd give you some more time to have fun with it before the $hit hits the fan.
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Old 05-15-2011, 04:37 PM   #57
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Did I mention my web site where you could drop off the excess $ that no one will be needing:

www.bogusrapture.org
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Old 05-15-2011, 04:44 PM   #58
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I studied about this end of world scene in a Religious Studies course in college. I always liked the secret password bit.
"It's always something"


In August Sananda began transmitting warnings of a coming cataclysm. The face of the earth
would be violently altered on 21 December 1954. At the first light of dawn (about seven o'clock in
the morning), a terrible rumbling would be heard everywhere as the ground heaved, toppling
buildings. The waters of the Great Lakes next to Chicago would rise in a terrific wave to engulf the
city. Millions of people around the world would perish; their souls would be transferred to planets
appropriate to their spiritual development. In September, a major Chicago newspaper carried a
two-column story headlined: PROPHECY FROM PLANET. CLARION CALL TO CITY: FLEE
THAT FLOOD. IT'LL SWAMP US ON DEC. 21, OUTER SPACE TELLS SUBURBANITE.

As the Last Days counted down, Dorothy Martin and her circle of
sibets (the Losolo term for “students”) prepared themselves to board a flying saucer that was to be sent for them by the

Guardians shortly before the catastrophe hit Earth. Each
sibet was given a blank piece of paper and
an envelope with a postage stamp affixed, and was told that these amounted to a passport needed

to enter the spacecraft. In strict privacy each

sibet was told the password: “I left my hat at home.”
Some were assigned a seat number. They were warned that metal items, including zippers, could

not be brought aboard, since these would burn during the flight.....
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Old 05-15-2011, 05:26 PM   #59
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Have read a suggestion that a bunch of heathens buy up a stack of blow-up sex dolls, inflate them with helium, and all release them into the air at the same time on 5/21. The mouths of the dolls, fixed in a permanent "O" could be seen as expressing wonderment. or rapture. Rapture.

Another suggestion had the dolls being inflated with hydrogen - shot with flaming arrows as they floated upward and bursting into flame could add an unexpected touch to the ascension....

'Course those heathens probably have enough blow up sex dolls on hand that they wouldn't need to buy any. <OBL style porn slur>
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Old 05-15-2011, 05:32 PM   #60
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Before they began closing the Morganza Spillway, the Mississippi River was expected to crest here on May 23rd leaving New Orleans 20'-25' under water in a worst case scenario. That would be pretty close to the end of the world for New Orleans, at least.

But now, that isn't expected to happen. Could it be that the Morganza has forestalled the End of Days?

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