Harder as you approach the runway??

[albireo13]

I find that as I get older, and approach retirement, my free time has actually been steadily decreasing. Instead of starting to wind down, I find myself being more stressed out and tired.



Several factors ...
1. aging parents demanding attention and energy
2. boomerang kids who aren't quite independent
3. as I am more senior in the MegaCorp organization, I am expected to provide more leadership and investment in my job ... more hours ... weekends .. etc.



I am tempted to give MC the big FU and move on. Anyway, as I approach the golden years they are not looking so golden. : (


I had more freedom and less stress 20 years ago.


Anyone else deal with this or am I unique??

 

[CardsFan]

Based on another thread, it looks like you are torn between retirement and OMY or 2 to help the kids.

I found that, once I decided to retire (for real, not just dreaming) the job became easier. I put in my 8 hrs, down from ten or more. I scheduled my travel to be convenient to me. Still a week overseas, but when I wanted. Pushed back on the China office and customers to accomplish. When I got back, I took a day off. Allowed by policy, but not done too often.

There were a few on my project teams that noticed I was not as "engaged" as normal. But the work got done, the projects were up and running and made money. All were happy, and I even got the biggest bonus I ever received.

I left a really good salary on the table, and more potential bonuses, but I do not regret for a minute the decision to retire. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the stash has grown 20% in 2.5years, even with spending.

It sounds like you are FI, so I say get out and RE to take off some of the stress.

Of course, we are all different. You need to decide what is best for you.

 

[Jerry1]

What CardsFan said.

Reallly, once I felt in my heart that I was FI and set a plan for retirement, the job got better. Once your FI, you can do what you want. Of course being a professional is probably something you want too, so it’s not that you screw around, but you prioritize differently. It “almost” made it hard to leave, but I was set on my goal and that was a great boost to my attitude.

 

[albireo13]

Once upon a time I had myself in the equation. Now, it's the kids, bills, MegaCorp, the incontinent dog, the demanding parents and .... oh. you have 7-8PM Sunday night to yourself to pursue your dreams. LOL

 

[Dtail]

It's time to go Albireo13, time to go.
Enough of us had high paying senior level jobs, but don't miss it now.
Sunday nights become wonderful.

 

[38Chevy454]

Mine got easier as I was able to go part-time for approx 1 year before retirement. Funny thing was I still did as much or more than co-workers that were full-time. But my attitude about work was greatly improved since I knew it was only for 3 or 4 days/week.


For OP, I think it is all of the outside of work stuff that is making you feel pulled in so many directions and less enjoyment in life. Best advice I offer is to make changes there. You may also try to change your work assignment, let them know you are on a glide path and want to start a transition out. I assume your job has some appreciation for your skills and would try to work with you?

 

[Souschef]

I find that as I get older, and approach retirement, my free time has actually been steadily decreasing. Instead of starting to wind down, I find myself being more stressed out and tired.
Several factors ...
1. aging parents demanding attention and energy
2. boomerang kids who aren't quite independent
3. as I am more senior in the MegaCorp organization, I am expected to provide more leadership and investment in my job ... more hours ... weekends .. etc.

Here is my take
1. There are caregivers you can hire to take care of your parents
2. Give the kids 6 months to get their stuff together then kick them out
3. QUIT
I know this sounds harsh, but you are not getting any younger, and the stress can adversely affect your health.

 

[joeea]

I find that as I get older, and approach retirement, my free time has actually been steadily decreasing. Instead of starting to wind down, I find myself being more stressed out and tired.

Anyway, as I approach the golden years they are not looking so golden. : (


I had more freedom and less stress 20 years ago.

You may wish to talk with your health care professionals.

In this and other threads you seem to be expressing feelings that could be better dealt with in some therapy sessions.

Good luck.

 

[DrRoy]

What CardsFan said.

Reallly, once I felt in my heart that I was FI and set a plan for retirement, the job got better. Once your FI, you can do what you want.

+1. Also, when you eliminate job stress, the rest becomes easier to deal with.

 

[gauss]

Are you setting appropriate boundaries with your parents?

Are they expecting you to drop everything and come over in the next day or two -- or do you have them scheduled on say a once a week visit?

For instance, I try now to get my mother to prepare a list in advance of what is needed. I then can plan on this and knock off her items (ie shopping) when convenient during the week. When I actually visit to refill her pill boxes weekly there should then be a minimum of surprises.

In prior years, I would keep getting the telephone calls requesting shopping items after I have completed the shopping. etc. etc. It felt like I was getting whipsawed.

Although you may have more time to deal with this in retirement, your daily hours are still limited. You can get burned out pretty quick if you don't add some structure to your relationships IMHO.

-gauss

 

[Bir48die]

I can relate to #2 and #3. My parents died or were in foster care (dementia) early on. I had two boys that boomeranged a couple times. As I made good money it was easy for me to enable them. I also had to manage a great deal of business while keeping track of employees. Soon it became a 24/7 job. Once I announced early on I was retiring I had a talk with both boys to let them know I wouldn't have any ability to support them (of course I did) but it helped me mentally cut the cord. By retiring it also solved #3.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I was still working when my parents needed help but my older siblings were retired so it was much easier for them to help. I had to use all my vacation and sick leave and fly across the country. If you weren’t working things would be more manageable. Can you go part time?

 

[MichaelB]

Anyone else deal with this or am I unique??

Once I made the decision to leave my job, work stopped being my #1 priority, my brain stopped filtering other, less important things, such as family, friendships, self, and health (to name just the most important). Back then those other things were important, but I didn't have the time or mental space to deal with much other than work and family emergencies.

Now I have time for those things, and more importantly, I have room to accommodate them. This does not overly concern me, because my own health and well-being is at the top of the list, and those others compete for my time, but do not cause stress. I'm happy I have the time, capacity and willingness to make them part of my life.

 

[SumDay]

I am tempted to give MC the big FU and move on. Anyway, as I approach the golden years they are not looking so golden. : (


I had more freedom and less stress 20 years ago.


Anyone else deal with this or am I unique??

You are not unique. I gave notice earlier this year and have 37 days left. My energy level is WAY low right now - I'm hoping I get a sudden boost on September 1. Trying to deal with getting everyone up to speed at work, plus DH's newest health issue is zapping me.

 

[HI Bill]

3. as I am more senior in the MegaCorp organization, I am expected to provide more leadership and investment in my job ... more hours ... weekends .. etc.

I am tempted to give MC the big FU and move on. Anyway, as I approach the golden years they are not looking so golden. : (

I had more freedom and less stress 20 years ago. Anyone else deal with this or am I unique??

TIme to set some boundaries. I've always maintaned a work-life balance. Just say no to late nights and weekend work. If you have to do these to keep your job, maybe it's your time to FIRE. Having aging parents can definitely be a time and energy sink. Losing some of my energy at 51 has made me wonder too, and has made me speed up my desire to RE. Best wishes!

 

[Offgrid Organic Farmer]

As I got near my projected retirement date, my job got a lot harder. My supervisors piled more and more responsibility on me. Since I was Active Duty military my retirement date was set in stone. I had a couple buddies who took additional risks and got busted for it, losing their pension benefits. I was able to avoid that pitfall.

My wife and I had planned out our investment strategy and we stuck to it. Knowing that our portfolio along with my pension was going to be enough to carry us.

I have had former co-workers who when they were faced with the added stresses, dipped into their portfolios and blew it. So even if they got the pension, they still had to start a second career.

 

[foxfirev5]

Enough already. Now only you know the answer.

 

[WestUniversity]

I find that as I get older, and approach retirement, my free time has actually been steadily decreasing. Instead of starting to wind down, I find myself being more stressed out and tired.

Anyone else deal with this or am I unique??

I can somewhat relate. The kids are out of the house and off the payroll and both sets of parents are gone.

That said however MegaCorp keeps ramping up expectations. Do more with less. I keep getting roped into projects that are simply ugly but because I’ve been there the better part of 3 decades, I’m expected to dig in and get is done quicker than most...

 

[Koolau]

IF you are financially independent, then most of the w*rk pressure is on YOU. What are they going to do? Are they going to fire you? Demote you? Criticize you? So what? It's time to relax a bit (if and only if you are FI). What's the worst that can happen - that they will "retire" you? The ball is totally in your court. We're glad to commiserate with you, but only you have the power. YMMV

 

[Firedafter30]

My ah-ha moment was when I read about multiplying my yearly expenses by 25 to roughly get the amount needed to retire. I did that and holy cow, I was there. Did some soul searching, and then gave 3 weeks notice to my best friend (and boss at the time!).
Now I'm 5 weeks in and loving it. I have young kids and a teen, so I'm very busy with them and driving the teen all over town. She is also learning to drive so that is a bit scary! Once the kids go back to school I'll have more free time.


I'm also helping my mother move back closer to me so I'll be busy helping her.

 

[MarieIG]

I find that as I get older, and approach retirement, my free time has actually been steadily decreasing. Instead of starting to wind down, I find myself being more stressed out and tired.



Several factors ...
1. aging parents demanding attention and energy
2. boomerang kids who aren't quite independent
3. as I am more senior in the MegaCorp organization, I am expected to provide more leadership and investment in my job ... more hours ... weekends .. etc.



I am tempted to give MC the big FU and move on. Anyway, as I approach the golden years they are not looking so golden. : (


I had more freedom and less stress 20 years ago.


Anyone else deal with this or am I unique??

Not at all. I usually have Sunday evenings from 8:00 p.m. all the way to 10:00 p.m. to unwind.

I expect it will remain the same to the day I walk out the door.

We did go through long illnesses with my parents, who have now passed, to the extent we suspect it compromised our own health. (This was with hiring round-the-clock in-home care for DF, and having help from DS.)

Also, there has been some boomeranging here as well.

 

[albireo13]

Yes, we just this year got my folks into a CCRC not too far away. The year before that I spent every other weekend driving out of state back home to spend time with them and help with issues. It is 4.5 hr drive each way and by the end of last year I was fried ... emotionally and physically. It definitely has affected my health. I've gained weight, higher stress levels, back pain and sciatica have gotten worse from driving and sitting so much. Plus, my drinking has gotten worse. I need to work on that.

 

[GravitySucks]

Hmmm...
20 years ago I had one difficult child in high school and one expensive child in college.
Work was okay but just as stressful as when I left.
Parental care now s an issue i didn't have then.
The stress is way less now that I report to no one and my time is my own.