He said "You're what, 64?" - I answered I'll be 62 in July.

[mystang52]

This is an obviously unscientific, non-random "poll" of my college buds: 15 of us meet every 3 months for dinner. One of us (dentist) forcibly retired at a very young age due to medical issues. 6 more including me voluntarily ER'd over the last few years.
Of these 6, 5 of us are VERY happy. That's an 83% happy percentage. And the one who's not happy? He wasn't happy when working, either. So, as others here alluded to, it's probably more one's underlying personality that drives retirement happiness.

Another example was my Dad. He retired at 65 and other than dabble in his art passion, did virtually nothing else. He died at 91 and except for the last year of his life when his health declined he was happy every day.

 

[W2R]

My list was handwritten, torn up long ago and the items long lost to memory.

Mine is somewhere on an old computer backup. Somehow it disappeared from my desktop at some point in the 14 years since I created it although I still had it on my desktop when I retired. I've forgotten many of the items on the list, at least for now.

I just remembered another item from that list, though - - taking up classical piano again, for the first time in 40-50 years. Yeah, right!

I don't need classical piano to feel fulfilled and happy in retirement, and my guess is that you probably don't need a candy apple red hot rod snowmobile, either.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

Retirement: Your Ticket to a Happier, Healthier Life - US News

Check out this article. It turns out that if you retire because you WANT to, not because you have to because of health or other reasons, most people have a long term increase in health and happiness. I help people retire for a living. Clients are generally a little worried about this, but all (except for 2 that were forced out) are having a great time and its actually harder to get in touch with them- they're off having fun instead of sitting behind their desks. Ignore that guy- but I hear it a lot too. Even (strangely) from my parents who appear to be having a great retirement- they're never home either.

 

[38Chevy454]

If the old guy defined his life by his work, then I can understand his opinion. Too many people have no real interests or outside activities beyond their work life. The live to work instead of work to live - a sad way to be IMHO.

I tell everyone at work, my quality of life is when I go out the gate, not come in the gate!

 

[Clone]

I have seen several folks that were tyrant managers at work. Mean and rude to folks. They were on a power trip. When they retired, they had nobody to boss around. I have heard of several folks crossing paths with them at a grocery store, and it ended up with them telling their former manager to go stuff themselves!

One of these guys didn't last 6 months before he had a heart attack. Coincidental, probably. But I think he defined himself as being this powerful taskmaster, and when he retired nobody respected him, people told him off, etc.

If you are defined by your job, you need to have something that will define you in retirement.

For me, it is amazing how the stress of the old job evaporated.

I think it is important to have some plans for what you will do, but I don't think it is critical to stick to that plan. My plans changed considerably from what I thought I was going to do, and I love it!

 

[ls99]

My only retirement plan was to avoid any form structured life. That partially failed miserably since DW loves to cook and damn good at it. Thus dinner schedule is on. Mind you it is one of the good failures.

One activity I never considered was figure skating. About two years into RE, I taught myself to figure skate, since the idea of a scheduled class was a no-no. Though that too may fall by the wayside for a little while, since there are a few moves I have tried to learn for a year now and have little to no sucess. I'll have to hire an instructor to explain what makes them work. Naturally, they will find flaws in my current techniques and insist on correcting them before moving onto what I really want to do.

I do stop for coffe nearly every day, but the time is sufficiently random. Aside from that quasi routine, I have way too many hobbies, things I like to tinker with, thus boredom is one very foreign concept. And of course there is my mancave with 14 acres of woods to prowl by foot or atv, and so it goes.

 

[redduck]

... just read Rouge Lawyer by Grisham couldn't put it down.

Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum.

Is that the Grisham book about a transvestite attorney?

 

[target2019]

It depends on the individual. I embrace winter and feel most alive during that season. It's the hot summer days that suck the life out of me.

Cue a graph showing death rate per seasonal month. When I'm done shoveling in a few days, I'll look that up if not dead.

 

[W2R]

Cue a graph showing death rate per seasonal month. When I'm done shoveling in a few days, I'll look that up if not dead.

In the South, apparently the elderly are particularly likely to die when exposed to excessive heat if they have no air conditioning or electric fans to cool them down.

 

[Music Lover]

If the old guy defined his life by his work, then I can understand his opinion. Too many people have no real interests or outside activities beyond their work life. The live to work instead of work to live - a sad way to be IMHO.

I tell everyone at work, my quality of life is when I go out the gate, not come in the gate!

A co-worker who had put in for retirement in fall later changed her mind and now has no plans to leave. She's 60 with a few health issues, but told me that has no interests outside of work and is worried she'll be bored. It's her choice, but I find it sad that she hasn't found anything in 60 years to occupy her time other than w*rk.

 

[Options]

...What's the magic formula?


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum.

Isn't one, AFAICT. We're all different, it's finding what's best for each of us. I've recommended it before, and recommend again this book "What Color Is Your Parachute? for Retirement: Planning a Prosperous, Healthy, and Happy Future". It does an excellent job of detailing the latest research on all aspects of an effective retirement.

http://www.amazon.com/Color-Parachute-Retirement-Second-Edition/dp/158008205X

Personally, I've been rather shocked to gradually see how unhappy I was before retirement (much more so than I realized at the time), and at the degree to which I've become much more calm, peaceful, and happy I've become now.

 

[cyber888]

I'm definitely retiring on or before 60, but I can do other things like volunteering, writing a book, etc.

 

[Lsbcal]

...
It got me to thinking about my plans in retirement and the formula for contentment
1) change the paradigm (move south - blizzard out there as I write this - the wind is howling - it will be a miracle if we don't lose power)
2) stay busy - part time job, volunteer, hobbies
3) exercise
4) travel and see some of the country
5) read - just read Rouge Lawyer by Grisham couldn't put it down.

I am generally a pretty happy person and enjoy the simple things. I must admit to a bit of worry when I hear all the negativity from retirees. What's the magic formula?

What' the magic formula? What's the magic formula?

I think you nailed it in items 2 to 6. Don't know about #1 but I'm out every day in Northern California either walking or running.

Maybe I'd add to make some of your activities as mentally stimulating as possible. For me: develop new art skills, learn more gardening skills, become a better Excel user, go mobile and get that smartphone moving, keeping reading light science stuff, etc.

I'm not much of a socializer but have made more attempts to start up conversations and become a good listener and positive contributor.

I view it as a platter with several delicious items. It's important to not eat only one item. Do a lot of sampling and don't forget the vegetables.

 

[splitwdw]

Many of the people on this forum had jobs they hated. Maybe he had a great job and got forced out. The OP should look for him at PT and ask "why" he feels you should keep working. I'm surprised you wouldn't ask since you were sharing your retirement plans.

 

[Totoro]

I'm going to disagree with you slightly here. I don't think there's much work involved in being happy, it being more of a basic disposition, IMO. As others have said, there are all sorts of opinions about retirement. Just because he's not enjoying himself doesn't mean that you wouldn't. Don't let others' feelings about their own situations deter you.

There is some evidence that your happiness level has a long term baseline level - which then gets adjusted short-term by life circumstances.

In addition, raising the baseline could be trainable. Meditation. Some would qualify that as work I guess.

Nice talk about it:

 

[6miths]

I'm not much of a socializer but have made more attempts to start up conversations and become a good listener and positive contributor.

Yes I think that last point is a good one. Staying busy and volunteering and all that is good but it is probably the effects of our relationships that really have the major positive influence. Meet new people, make new friends and become reacquainted with old ones, quality time with family and so on. Retirement can really have a negative impact on one's contact with people and if you don't have an extended network of acquaintances then you may have to work on it. And of course skill sets in this area vary quite dramatically.

 

[steveark]

Just retired at 60, have a nice fun part time flexible side gig that will pay most of my and DW living expenses, pay for my electronic toys and give me a nice expense account for entertaining for
about two days work a week.
Also continuing a couple of volunteer jobs chairing a college board and and the board of a charity foundation that are not paid. Plenty of savings and investments to fully fund a nonworking retirement but that concern of not having enough interesting interactions led me to start out with the 2 day per week amount of work. I too received a similar warning from my brother in law, an extremely wealthy retired mega executive who dearly misses the frenetic pace of life in the C suite.
I don't think I will, but I have left my options open to keep my new career small or to scale it into something big.

 

[donheff]

I am generally a pretty happy person and enjoy the simple things. I must admit to a bit of worry when I hear all the negativity from retirees. What's the magic formula?

Wherever you go, there you are. I suspect you will be fine in retirement.

 

[rayinpenn]

He said "You're what, 64?" - I answered I'll be 62 in July.

+1. And someone who has to work at being happy would probably be happier being unhappy.

How I work at staying happy... IMHO. Is it work?
1) I avoid depressing movies - I like movies with a positive message (Capra Esk if you will)
2) I work at keeping healthy - if your body is feeling good then your mind will likely follow. I walk I exercise.
3) I count my many blessings often
4) I take pride in my work, I enjoy what I do.
5) I don't let my age limit my technological abilities... I embrace new technology
6) I accept people for who they are: even the abrasive. I won't work for a nasty boss I'll find a way to get away or change the situation.
7) I am not a slave to toys or stuff... Simple vehicle, no boat, no debt. LBYM!
8) I wear a timex weekender I don't give a crap about my neighbors BMW, Rolex or whatever.
9) I am outside all that I can when the weather allows.. I enjoy mowing the lawn.
10) I can sit on a dock with a fishing rod, some bait and a lawn chair and have a great time. I can do the same with a good book.

I guess my method for working at being happy is to simplify....




Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum.

 

[btdt22]

I think it's human nature to mostly forget the bad 'stuff' in the past and remember only the good. When I was in basic training at Fort Polk Louisiana it was the worse time in my life, yet now I look back with a few fond memories. I suspect some retiree's look back at at their employment days and remember mostly the good times, but forget about the bad and thus look back with some remorse.

I also have a 50 year old friend that continues re-living his high school days. I recall a college age women telling him "if you hadn't gone to high school you would have nothing to say".

As for me, I'm 'retired' and can't find the time to read a book. On a recent trip to Russia I told my shipmates I was "unemployed but not looking for work"

 

[W2R]

Love your list, rayinpenn! My comments are in blue:

How I work at staying happy... IMHO. Is it work?
1) I avoid depressing movies - I like movies with a positive message (Capra Esk if you will) Me too, and I extend this to limiting my exposure to "doom n gloom" news and opinions. I don't need to hear depressing predictions of market conditions, war, disturbing laws that have been introduced but not passed, or other disturbing predictions; I only want to know the facts of what is going on so I can make my own predictions.

2) I work at keeping healthy - if your body is feeling good then your mind will likely follow. I walk I exercise. +1 Exercise is so important to one's state of mind.

3) I count my many blessings often Yes, me too. I have a lot to count.

4) I take pride in my work, I enjoy what I do. You may find this is unnecessary after you retire, because you won't be working any more. I take pride in maintaining the culture and values that are important to me, and having lived a life I can be proud of, and leave it at that.

5) I don't let my age limit my technological abilities... I embrace new
technology I try, although I still don't see any reason to learn to text! My friends are all older too, and do not text so there is nobody to text to.

6) I accept people for who they are: even the abrasive. I won't work for a nasty boss I'll find a way to get away or change the situation. This won't be necessary either after you retire. You can focus on being around people you like and reduce your exposure to jerks.

7) I am not a slave to toys or stuff... Simple vehicle, no boat, no debt. LBYM! Yes, along with contentment!

8) I wear a timex weekender I don't give a crap about my neighbors BMW, Rolex or whatever. Pretty much the same as #8.

9) I am outside all that I can when the weather allows.. I enjoy mowing the lawn. I'm glad somebody does. I can think of other things I'd rather do, so I hire someone to mow my lawn.

10) I can sit on a dock with a fishing rod, some bait and a lawn chair and have a great time. I can do the same with a good book. Yep. And in retirement, you can do this as often as you wish.

I would probably add

11) exploring new and different interests as they occur to me,

12) being respectful of myself by not living in a pigsty while not being obsessive about housework,

13) giving myself a break such as some R&R now and then when I need it, even if I don't know exactly why I do, and

14) spending time with my sweetie every day.

15) Also, for me (not for everyone), a regular schedule helps, eating and sleeping at about the same times every day.

 

[Bestwifeever]

How I work at staying happy... IMHO. Is it work?
1) I avoid depressing movies - I like movies with a positive message (Capra Esk if you will)
2) I work at keeping healthy - if your body is feeling good then your mind will likely follow. I walk I exercise.
3) I count my many blessings often
4) I take pride in my work, I enjoy what I do.
5) I don't let my age limit my technological abilities... I embrace new technology
6) I accept people for who they are: even the abrasive. I won't work for a nasty boss I'll find a way to get away or change the situation.
7) I am not a slave to toys or stuff... Simple vehicle, no boat, no debt. LBYM!
8) I wear a timex weekender I don't give a crap about my neighbors BMW, Rolex or whatever.
9) I am outside all that I can when the weather allows.. I enjoy mowing the lawn.
10) I can sit on a dock with a fishing rod, some bait and a lawn chair and have a great time. I can do the same with a good book.

I guess my method for working at being happy is to simplify....




Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum.

You have said you are a happy person, and these are things you do that make you happy--I don't think you have to work at it. Not much makes an unhappy person happy. An unhappy person would notice the bugs while they are outdoors or be mad because the fish aren't biting or get upset at a new computer being different. Perhaps the person who told you not to retire is naturally unhappy.

Sort of interesting article about happiness: http://www.fastcompany.com/3029690/why-chasing-after-happiness-is-making-you-unhappy

It includes links to a TEDtalk about synthetic happiness and other site, and this:

Kennon Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky have developed a two-part model for staying happier longer:

Keep appreciating what you've got.
Introduce some variety into your life.

Pretty easy steps

 

[HadEnuff]

rayinpenn and W2R, I love your lists, especially:

avoiding depressing movies, negative people, and gloomy news reports and outlooks. Added to that, nasty political commentary (which is IMHO just another manifestation of negative people)...There are some people I just prefer to avoid, so I do. There are some conversations I'd rather not have, so I avoid them.

As my Dad's health deteriorated, his mantra became "I'm going to focus on the things I can still do, and not dwell on the things I used to be able to do, but can't do anymore"...he succeeded quite well at that. He was a good example for me in how to live through the process of aging, and, eventually, what comes after that.

 

[rayinpenn]

He said "You're what, 64?" - I answered I'll be 62 in July.

I'm going to focus on the things I can still do, and not dwell on the things I used to be able to do, but can't do anymore

Love it...just wonderful


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum.

 

[brucethebroker]

Snowstorm

Leaving the cold weather region probably adds years to your life. That's my first thought as inches of snow are piling up.

I agree about the added years.
DW and I spend winters in FL. While watching the weekend news, we heard that 40 people had died so far in the snowstorm. "Those people would still be alive if they were in FL." I said.