How long to you think you will live?

[Martha]

Well that will be disconcerting when you reach 79, martyb!

My mother died at age 39 of a heart attack. Me, and each of my sisters, all went through a "funny feeling in the chest" stage at age 39.

 

[REWahoo]

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "ok" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 90?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh no", I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No,my former doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy."

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't", I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No", I said.

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you even give a sh!t?"

 

[Nords]

(*snort*, snicker)

Oh, great. Spouse wants to know what made me laugh out loud at the computer. I better spin this one pretty skillfully.

Thanks a lot, REW...

 

[martyb]

Lol!

 

[martyb]

Well that will be disconcerting when you reach 79, martyb!


Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe I better go with the Great-Great Grandfather that made it to 84. Born 1798, died 1882. Here's a picture I took of his grave with my dad standing beside it about 6 months before dad died. The old family cemetary is way back in the woods near the site of the old homesite that I never even knew about until a couple of years ago. My family was wealthy back in the day, with over 1000 acres of land, a huge milling operation on the creek, lots of farmed land and a good number of slaves. Yes, sorry but slaves. My ggfather's cemetary includes himself, his wife and a bunch of slave graves. By the way, all that wealth pretty much went away with the civil war. At least 5 of my ancestors that I can trace fought in the war, including my great grandfather.

 

[Martha]

Interesting stuff.

 

[martyb]

Probably not all that interesting except to family, I suppose. GGGrandfather's name was Hiram Baldwin Sr. His son, Hiram Jr. my GGrandfather had a son named just plain 'ol Hiram (dad's dad) who produced yet another Hiram (III). My dad's name, however, was not Hiram, it was Royce! My grandfather, plain 'ol Hiram was actually born in 1875, outlived his first wife and in his fifties married himself a young 25 year old, and proceeded to have a few more kids, including my dad and a brother. Hiram died in 1955, 3 years before I was born so I never had the pleasure of knowing him. I understand he was a highly respected fellow in the community. OK, I promise...no more family history! P.S. Note in the pic above my then 78 year old dad is NOT wearing any glasses! Man, I'd kill to have his eyesight!

 

[Martha]

I trust that they didn't name you Hiram? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

 

[martyb]

Nope! My first name is Martin, the same as my mom's maiden name! See...my family truly does recycle! One thing I forgot to mention, is that my ggrandfather actually married one of his nieces. I guess it wasn't all that uncommon when you live as far out in the middle of nowhere like they did and there weren't all that many options. Guess that at least partly explains a few things about me!

 

[Khan]

"It wasn't all that difficult: after he gave up wine and women, he didn't feel like singing."

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "ok" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 90?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh no", I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No,my former doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy."

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't", I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No", I said.

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you even give a sh!t?"

 

[Twinkle Toes]

My mother's father moved from NY to TX because of arthritis; my mother moved from NY to AL because of arthritis; I don't want to move south because of arthritis.

I'm considering a tactic someone here mentioned concerning a relative: retreating to one (relatively warm) room for most stuff during cold weather.

Once we quit work, we spent our first winter in the valley in TX, found it warm but really humid. The next winter we spent in southern AZ and CA. Been doing it most winters since then. Lots of snowbirds there who tend to form an extended "winter family". Not bad. We were babies on the block when we started it. These people are not sit at home folks, lots of activities. We took a bicycle tour across the border into MX that first year...lots of fun! Most return home (up north) when the weather gets too warm, usually 85 degrees. DH and I retreat to the mountains and enjoy the cool weather during the summer. I wouldn't want to live in either place year 'round, but we get the best of both places.

Might I suggest that if you retreat to a warm room during the winter, use those lights that simulate daylight. They do that in Alaska to help prevent SAD (winter blues).

As John Wayne said, "you die your way, I'll die mine".

 

[W2R]

My mother's father moved from NY to TX because of arthritis; my mother moved from NY to AL because of arthritis; I don't want to move south because of arthritis.

I'm considering a tactic someone here mentioned concerning a relative: retreating to one (relatively warm) room for most stuff during cold weather.

That makes a lot of sense, for energy conservation. Why not? There is no reason why we have to heat a huge house just for one person.

I would also suggest making sure that arthritic joints get plenty of movement, and that aging and less flexible soft tissues are adequately stretched each day to prevent pulling and further joint pain.

 

[Meadbh]

we will not know until we get there.

But if we have AD we might not know!!!

 

[Meadbh]

my brother has already predetermined that he will endure a.d. should it strike him. but he also has a wife and three kids to care for him so it might be "braver" now for him to make such a future decision but more practical than brave for me, a single guy with no kids, to make mine. certainly, even if i was willing to live like that, i will not get the extremely good care my mother received or that my brother can expect. in fact, it would not be too unlikely that i could be physically abused by some homophobic nurse's aid. so maybe my decision isn't so brave after all. perhaps i'm just protecting myself.

I'm straight but I hear you, Lazy, and I have similar concerns about being alone without an advocate in my declining years. That's why I, like you, want to be in control of my destiny.

 

[mountaintosea]

I figure mid to late 80s. Dad is 87. Mom turns 83 in January. So barring an accident or war or famine or ? maybe another 30 years or so...

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

I'm straight but I hear you, Lazy, and I have similar concerns about being alone without an advocate in my declining years. That's why I, like you, want to be in control of my destiny.

even though we were there to check on mom all the time while she was in the alzheimer's unit. and even though we could afford and placed her in the best available, i still worried about it every day.

i never raised a kid but seems to me there's a big difference between placing your kid with someone and placing your parent with dementia. i know i have to trust the world to some degree, but at least the kid can tell you if something goes wrong.

edit: in the meanwhile, to show just how stressful it can be to take care of someone with alzheimer's (stats show that 65% of caregivers die first), i just received a call from good friends of mine--getting ready to move to their early retirement home in sarasota, in part to be here with her mom--that her mom just died. first thing out of my mouth as this is the second time this has happened to a friend of mine--"oh my god, the wrong one died again." so now they will continue with their moving plans only when they get here she will take over for her mom in the care of her dad who is in an alzheimer's unit. life ain't easy and i don't care how much money you have or how well you plan. it just ain't.