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Old 06-17-2009, 07:28 AM   #21
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Everyone only gets one mother...


Absolutely ! Sorry for your troubles !
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:52 AM   #22
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Hi DMGO

My wife and I have done volunteer work in Hospice - my wife a considerable amount over more than a decade. There is no doubt it is one of the better aspects of US medical care - and one where "care and compassion' stand out. The professional caregivers in this field are exceptional and their experience invaluable.

Do you live with your mother or close by?
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:04 AM   #23
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Everyone only gets one mother...
A friend of mine put it this way - when you lose your mother its like the universe changes. You never get used to it. You adjust, but you never get used to it.

He was right - I lost mine last year. She was relatively young - in her 60s. Home hospice was great, they really kept her comfortable.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:08 AM   #24
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I lost Mom and Dad about 10 years ago, within 8 months of each other coincidentally. It was a bad, bad year.

I felt like a 50 year old orphan.
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As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Old 06-17-2009, 05:05 PM   #25
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DMGO, you're in our thoughts at this difficult time. I'm happy though that your Mother is making her own decisions. Like so many other posters, our family's experiences with hospice have been excellent.

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Old 06-17-2009, 06:08 PM   #26
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I appreciate all the kind words. My mother doesn't understand why she has this hospice nurse hanging around. She keeps saying that she'll eat in a few days, when she feels hungry. Her mind is starting to slip away. Her thinking isn't right. It's a really hard thing to see. She is actually talking about going on a trip to see some family members she hasn't seen in a long time. She doesn't think of herself as old, or even sick.
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Old 06-17-2009, 06:26 PM   #27
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I appreciate all the kind words. My mother doesn't understand why she has this hospice nurse hanging around. She keeps saying that she'll eat in a few days, when she feels hungry. Her mind is starting to slip away. Her thinking isn't right. It's a really hard thing to see. She is actually talking about going on a trip to see some family members she hasn't seen in a long time. She doesn't think of herself as old, or even sick.
We went through a similar situation like this with my FIL. We would smile and say things like, "That sounds good, but for now let's rest a while." We said whatever we could to keep him content.

I know....it's hard.
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:03 PM   #28
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Both my FIL and MIL died in the past few years, one in a nursing home/hospice situation, the other at home with hospice. I heartily recommend home. And as everyone has said, they are saints.

My only advice is to just be there as much as possible. Personally I think her decision to not undergo tests and procedures is a good one. Both in-laws had a number of things done to them, none of which helped, and which only made them more miserable than they needed to be.

You and your mom will be in my prayers. Take care.
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:19 PM   #29
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my thoughts are with you in this difficult time. stay strong for her sake
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:10 PM   #30
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Well, Mom passed away today, at around 12 noon. I got the call while I was going home from work, and was going to stop at her place to just sit and talk. The nurse said she was having real bad pain that started late last night, so at least she didn't have to suffer for too long. I went to see her anyway. The police had finished up by the time I got there, and I saw my sister, and the hospice chaplain. I got to sit by my mother one last time, and told her that I love her, and hope that she's at peace now. I want to thank you all for the kind words. Burial is being planned for Friday.
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:13 PM   #31
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So sorry for your loss, DMGO. I hope the good folks at the hospice were able to make her last hours as comfortable as possible.
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:15 PM   #32
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Sorry for your loss.
Why would the police need to be there?
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:23 PM   #33
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So sorry for your loss. Glad she didn't have to suffer long.
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:31 PM   #34
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Sad to hear of your Mom passing away. But, why did the poor soul have to suffer in pain at all? Aren´t there enough painkillers and such to prevent it?
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:42 PM   #35
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Bless her and you. So sorry.
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Old 06-24-2009, 03:47 PM   #36
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Losing your mom is one of the toughest things to go through. Your sentence about going to her side was truly beautiful.
I wish you strength and peace.
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Old 06-24-2009, 04:44 PM   #37
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I hope your heart will be full of sweet memories.
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Old 06-24-2009, 05:32 PM   #38
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My condolences to you and your family. I agree with Vincente about the pain issue, and hope she didn't suffer much. Take care.
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Old 06-24-2009, 05:36 PM   #39
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My thoughts are with you. May the sad memories slip away with time and the happy ones stay to comfort you in your loss.
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Old 06-24-2009, 05:48 PM   #40
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My condolences, DMGO. My mom passed away under similar circumstances with home hospice care. I think its great that you had some private time with her after she passed.
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