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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-24-2004, 05:21 AM   #21
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

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thanks to my dopey brothers
Quote:
Thankfully I don't have 7 siblings, but I do have
one dopey brother

Curious... Both my wife and I have dopey brothers.

Uh oh. What if all our dopey brothers have dopey brothers!!!
Nah. Not possible.


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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-24-2004, 08:10 AM   #22
 
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

I am fairly certain my "dopey brother" thinks he has one
(dopey brother) too. It's actually a sad situation but since
we have been estranged for so long, I honestly kind of forget I have a brother. This might continue on forever
except for my parent's situation which will inevitably
draw my brother and me back together, to what result, no one knows.

John Galt
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-24-2004, 01:17 PM   #23
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Mom is 86 & Dad is 87. Mom still plays tennis (doubles) and Dad goes to the gym. Both are healthy and have a wonderful outlook on life (and death).

They bought two grave sites with headstones that just lack one date & have made all funeral arrangements. It sounds a bit morbid but they have visited their place of rest several times.

They are independent and open about their finances and have told my brother, sister and I that the trust estate will be divided equally. Their living will leaves nothing out.

Dad jokes about his few ailments and the inevitable. So far they have left nothing to chance and have even signed up for an assisted care facility even though they don't need one.

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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-24-2004, 03:31 PM   #24
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

riverrat,

God bless them! They are certainly well organized. All seriousness aside and speaking only for myself, I dont want to be that well organized. I dont want to have everything taken care of. I dont want it to be ok to die. I want it NOT to be ok to die. In fact when I die I want it to be a real tragedy.

I think you may have sparked something here. How about a new thread "Post Your Epitaph" or "Name That Tombstone!"

Personally, I like "I'm Outta' Here"


BUM 8)
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-24-2004, 03:41 PM   #25
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

I believe W.C. Fields already took -'Personally I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia'. So 'Ah Shucks' might have to do for me. Of of course - I'd rather have burial at sea with the flaming arrows and wooden boat like the old Kirk Douglas/Tony Curtis movie - The Vikings. But alas the PC Police would probably interrupt a good beer party - oh yeah - free beer for the arrow shooters.
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-28-2004, 09:37 PM   #26
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

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I can understand paying for school but cars (plus insurance & maintenance), house? To the point where you have no/little savings to retire on? I don't understand that. When I have my own kids I will pay for school but other than that they are on their own. Unless of course they are smart like me and manage to snag a scholarship

"Sorry kiddo but mommy decided to retire early and have a grand trip to Paris so here is school money. Bus stop is 'round the corner".
Jane, you sound like a pretty good "prospective" Mom to me At least your (future) kids will mind you and make something of themselves. Too many parents are total zero with respect to teaching kids manners and responsibilty...

Just my take,

Lance

PS-good luck with your parents and their inheritance. Actuallya good "problem" to have
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-29-2004, 09:16 AM   #27
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

We retired earllier than planned due to layoffs, etc. but are fine for the forseeable future. LTC insureance, tho, is too costly. I ran FIREcalc and there is probably a large amount left at the end. Might this be a type of LTC "insurance?"
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-29-2004, 10:02 AM   #28
 
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Hello indymom! Certainly that pile "leftover" could be considered self insuring LTC. This was another easy decision for us as we can't afford it anyway. In fact,
I personally do not know of anyone who has bought it
in my circle of friends. Maybe some have but we never discussed. My father will not consider it which is a worry.


John Galt

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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-29-2004, 12:25 PM   #29
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Fortunately, my father bought LTC insurance several years ago. We wondered why, since he never even took more than a few sick days in his whole, lengthy career, and his bio father just sort of expired one day at the age of 90+. The last couple of years, tho, Dad had a series of strokes, then Parkinson's, now Crohn's disease and will need LTC after all. You never know. But we still can't afford it. He had the opportunity for a whole different retirement scenario.
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-29-2004, 05:21 PM   #30
 
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Hi indymom. My dad insists that he will take the
"Hemingway" exit if it comes to that, and I believe him.
Me too. I have seem the alternatives up close and personal. It ain't pretty.

John Galt
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-29-2004, 06:53 PM   #31
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Yes, so have I, but people in desperation killing themselves seems worse, in the long run. I'm hoping the hospice movement and/or some American Mother Theresa come up with a better idea.
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-30-2004, 07:11 AM   #32
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Re: My parents and their inheritance


I remember a Brit engineer telling me in the 70's - the English put you in a hospice around a piano, loaded you with good drugs, and you sang happy songs till you croaked.

The short version I recently saw on Charley Rose - Pete Peterson saying the English try to send you home for your last two months - saves the system a lot of money. A few State prision systems are doing a little of that now to save money.

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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-30-2004, 08:18 AM   #33
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Why did I think of John Galt and others here when I read this?

Billy
Web-site www.geocities.com/ba264

Retirement Plans
Kudos to the anonymous writer for his logic:

"No nursing home for me! I'm checking into the Hilton. With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Hilton. For a combined long-term stay
discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
1. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
2. Laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5.00 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling
to help you.

There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Hilton will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii? They have a Hilton there, too. ..the wonderful Hilton Hawaiian
Village and Spa.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker
or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Hilton
will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days
mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool What more can you ask for?

So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my emails to the Hilton!"

Upon telling this story at a dinner with friends and too much red wine, we came up with even more benefits the Hilton provides to retirees:

Most standard rooms have coffeemakers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV-all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon. After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children (free local phone calls), then take a stroll to the lounge or restaurant where you meet
new and exotic people every day. Many Hilton's even feature live
entertainment on the weekends.

Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free Program. You can invite your grandkids over after school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them not to bring more than three friends. Pick a Hilton where they allow pets, and your best friend
can keep you company as well.

If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar surroundings, in a Hilton you'll always feel at home because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same.

And if you're getting a little absent-minded in your old days, you never have to worry about not finding your room--your electronic key fits only one door and the helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.

I told Stephen Bollenback, CEO of Hilton this story. I'm happy to report that he was positively ecstatic at the idea of us checking in for a year or more at one of their hotels. (Stephen said we could have easily knocked them down to $40 a night!).

See you at the Hilton...and not just for a "Bounce Back Weekend"...but for the rest of our lives..!

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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-30-2004, 08:21 AM   #34
 
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

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I remember a Brit engineer telling me in the 70's - the English put you in a hospice around a piano, loaded you with good drugs, and you sang happy songs till you croaked.
This actually sounds like a pretty good time.

The way we currently do it in this country is to put you in a Hospital, with bad drugs with other folks moaning around you. Torture you wth Surgery and other painful procedures for a couple months. Eventually you die and they charge your estate or your insurance company around $150K.

You could throw a pretty good going away party for $150K
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-30-2004, 09:13 AM   #35
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Get thee down to a video store and rent The Barbarian Invasions. Non-Canadians will miss some of the nuances but it's still very much worthwhile.
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-30-2004, 10:33 AM   #36
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Thanks everyone for your response. Sorry I haven't responded much, I gotta deal with lotsa work in the office. : Curse of an engineer, we are apparently the horse in front of the carriage. Or the dogs in front of the sleds

My parents inheritance is not going to be that much though. The 1.5M windfall will be divided among 8 kids (yeah I have lots of aunties and uncles) so my parents' share is about $187.5 K. Anyway...when the time comes...

I have thought many times of LTC for my parents. I am not sure they can afford it. Not too many people in our family have insurance of some sort. That another difficult area to discuss with my parents (or the older generations in our family) since insurance is probably perceived as "inviting touble" or some kind. Hard to explain. Few of us younger folks who works outside the family business probably have some sort of insurance from work (well, at least I have health, life and disability insurance).

Thanks again.

Jane
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 07-30-2004, 05:27 PM   #37
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

That Hilton idea maybe what we are all looking for...
if I can remember it that long. :P
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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 08-06-2004, 01:31 PM   #38
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

It has been a hectic couple weeks for me too Jane... first grandbaby arrived!

Back to the LTC discussion. I know that ~$180k isn't huge but I still think they should consider purchasing a single premium couples policy. It may be cheaper in CN because nursing home care is provided in their health care system. A couple's re-imbursement policy is cheaper than individual policies because the healthier member will likely be caring for the sicker for at least part of the time. Picking a 90 day waiting period also trims the cost.

One of my concerns would be that your parents want to be generious with their children, or some "worthy cause", and bit by bit that umbrella for a rainy day shrinks. When they need assistance do you think your brother(s) will step up to the line?? IMHO parents' LTC care insurance is salvation for daughters.

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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 08-09-2004, 05:00 AM   #39
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

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It has been a hectic couple weeks for me too Jane... first grandbaby arrived!

One of my concerns would be that your parents want to be generious with their children, or some "worthy cause", and bit by bit that umbrella for a rainy day shrinks. *When they need assistance do you think your brother(s) will step up to the line?? *IMHO parents' LTC care insurance is salvation for daughters.
Congrats on the new addition to the family!

I agree with you that LTC will probably save me a lot of headache in the future as I can't see my bros will step up and take responsibility when required (I do hope I am wrong though). I will try to talk to my parents when the inheritance is finally in their hands about LTC. There is not much I can do other than talking since they are adults and they are in full control of their assets.

Sometimes I am thinking, maybe it is just easier to buy them LTC insurance with my money. But I always believe that since parents should not be financially responsible for their children for the rest of their lives, then the reverse is also true: children should not be financially responsible for their parents for the rest of their lives. But in practice, this is very hard to do I suppose.

If I ever fail to ER, I suspect the cause will be my da** bleeding heart. (However I am not planning to fail to ER at the moment).

Jane

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Re: My parents and their inheritance
Old 08-09-2004, 09:47 AM   #40
 
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Re: My parents and their inheritance

Well, I am stuck for now. Parents in late 80s, one dopey brother (estranged), no LTC coverage, and no
way to talk to my folks about these issues. The capper
is that we aren't getting any younger either. In my
case I am reminded that "Elvis is Dead and I don't feel so good myself!" It fits!

John Galt
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