Opinions: Why do some marry over and over?

[Orchidflower]

Have been doing some research on this and, much to my surprise, am not finding all that much. Lots of polygamy research but little on multiple marrying.
Anyone here want to venture an opinion--or have you found some actual data--on why some people marry over and over again? I'm talking like 5 times or more.

 

[ziggy29]

Sorry I can't help, but it does remind me of the old saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result....

 

[brewer12345]

"If at first you do not succeed..."

 

[MasterBlaster]

I suspect that there are very few people who marry 5 times or more.

As to why they do it, perhaps they are a pleasant enough person but can't stop the infidelity, or the drinking, or the spending... or whatever.

 

[ziggy29]

As to why they do it, perhaps they are a pleasant enough person but can't stop the infidelity, or the drinking, or the spending... or whatever.

I suspect this might be common for people who think they can "change" someone's unacceptable behavior. Maybe I can stop their cheating or their addictions when no one else could. And when they (almost inevitably) can't, they bail out.

 

[rescueme]

I suspect this might be common for people who think they can "change" someone's unacceptable behavior. Maybe I can stop their cheating or their addictions when no one else could. And when they (almost inevitably) can't, they bail out.

DW has been trying to change me for close to 50 years (42 years married - this September, but HS sweethearts before that time).

Rather than "moving on" and trying to change multiple spouses, she just wants to "improve" the original (but how can you improve upon "perfection)?...

 

[Bestwifeever]

Looking to get hitched again, Orchid?

You made me look... it up on Google . I found this Pew research study: The States of Marriage and Divorce - Pew Research Center

Some tidbits from a NY Times blog about the above report:

Across the United States, 5 percent of people who have ever been married have been married three times or more. The percentage of thrice-married is highest in Arkansas, at 10 percent. It is lowest in New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts, at just 2 percent.

and

Higher education levels are correlated with an older age at first marriage, and lower likelihood of being married three or more times. In states with lower income levels, men are more likely to have been married three or more times.

 

[tryan]

variety is the spice of life

 

[Sue J]

I have a cousin who is on her 5th or 6th husband. She loved each one at the start. She also likes weddings.

She was widowed by the one previous to her current one. He was 10-15 years older than her and seriously ill. He was wealthy enough to worry about it and looking for someone to leave his estate to since one of his children was in prison and he was estranged from the other one. She loved him very much.

 

[FinanceDude]

I thought marriage was REQUIRED of all single males in the US, at least that's what DF (darling fiancee) told me before we got married..........

 

[tmm99]

Have you had more than 5 serious monogamous relationships? If you have, and if you don't mind the complexity of legal obligations that go with marriage, then...

 

[Moemg]

Most of my friends have been married two or three times so it's not that uncommon. It's usually a reasonably long first marriage , short second marriage and finally success . One of my guy friends was married five times . He used to say that he liked wedding cake . He was a little crazy (okay a lot crazy)but a great guy . I introduced him to wife #5 who was very straight laced . The match worked and they have been together over twenty five years .

 

[grumpy]

DW has a close friend here in our community. She was married 4 times previously. She now lives with and co-owns a house with her significant other. She is financially independent now, something she was not when younger. I guess she has learned the lesson.

 

[W2R]

If the person in question has never worked at a job that pays enough to support his/her present and preferred lifestyle, then I would speculate that that person might be remarrying multiple times for financial reasons. Perhaps they cannot (financially) afford to remain single.

 

[Texas Proud]

The strangest multiple marriage person I have heard about...


Where I worked about 20 years ago, a coworker had an in-law who was getting divorced for the third time... I asked about her and her previous marriage.. the girl said she was married to men with the same name!!! Yes, she was married 3 times to 3 different guys who had the same first and last name...

Now... that is strange...

 

[Orchidflower]

I started thinking "why?" about this when someone I met here in Phoenix said she had been married 5 times, two people I went to high school with are on #4, Mickey Rooney 8, Liz Taylor 7, etc. I just don't get it myself and am wondering what propels these folks to marry over and over again.

 

[Moemg]

I started thinking "why?" about this when someone I met here in Phoenix said she had been married 5 times, two people I went to high school with are on #4, Mickey Rooney 8, Liz Taylor 7, etc. I just don't get it myself and am wondering what propels these folks to marry over and over again.

Most of my friends that were married three times were all making good money so it wasn't for that reason . Most of them just like being a couple and frankly a lot of people ( especially in the South )still look down on people who live together . What's the difference between being married three or four times or having three or four long term relationships . IMO not a lot .

 

[Bestwifeever]

We used to introduce a friend's current significant others as "The future former Mrs. Smith."

 

[Janet H]

Anyone here want to venture an opinion--or have you found some actual data--on why some people marry over and over again? I'm talking like 5 times or more.

Practice makes perfect?

 

[rescueme]

...the girl said she was married to men with the same name!!! Yes, she was married 3 times to 3 different guys who had the same first and last name...

Now... that is strange...

YouTube - Hermans Hermits - I'm Henry The VIII, I Am

 

[Orchidflower]

I guess we could say everybody needs a hobby?

 

[REWahoo]

I guess we could say everybody needs a [-]hobby[/-] hubby?

Fixed it for ya!

 

[FinanceDude]

I have a couple friends who have been married 3 times each. Both of them are a mess..........

 

[Orchidflower]

What surprises me is that the 4 people or so I know personally that have been married over and over seem so....well, competent. I don't get it still...guess I'd have to live with them and that ain't happenin'.

 

[tmm99]

If the person in question has never worked at a job that pays enough to support his/her present and preferred lifestyle, then I would speculate that that person might be remarrying multiple times for financial reasons. Perhaps they cannot (financially) afford to remain single.

I could be wrong, but I think women who do not have a job tend to stay in the same marriage even if it is not ideal. They would have no means of income if they went for multiple marriages (unless they are after a huge divorce settlement every time, or they make sure that the previous union and the next one somehow overlap in the way that they always have some source of income... )