Poll...Marry ever or again?

[haha]

Smiles of a Summer Morning

I am walking back from Trader Joe's this morning. I start to pass around a woman with a toddler in one of those Indy-Car strollers. She is talking on her phone. As I go by she says, "Yes, I am annoyed! (The baby says "Annoyed, Annoyed") Back to Mom-"But I won't tell you about it unless you promise not to take it on yourself. I just want you to listen. See if you can act like you aren't my husband!"

Then I reach the corner and I look across Thomas St and see two attractive women really kissing hard and deep. One of them is pregnant. Mind you this 9:15 AM. I am trying to remember the last time I was kissed this way by my ex, other than in bed.

Life is what you make it I guess, but it may also take a bit of luck.

Ha

 

[bbbamI]

Ahhhh...kissing. What a marvelous activity. Kissing is one fad that will never go out of style.

 

[bbbamI]

Hmmm, I haven't read throught every single post but you have me wondering why you started this thread BBBBBAM1?

Well we talk about bacon, so.......

Ahhh but seriously, I wondered how members felt about their future and if marriage or getting married again is part of it. I imagine financial reasons may come into play whether one signs the paperwork or not.

 

[BTravlin]

Financial considerations definitely play a part. I'd be retired already if it weren't for that big whoosh that accompanied my ex's departure.

 

[vicente solano]

If I can´t live with my wife, who is financially independent, attractive, intelligent, considerate and friendly....and puts up wth my uslelessness without complaint and with a lot of good humor..... I for sure won´t be able to live with another woman. She wouldn´t take me, anyway.
I can´t imagine what my wife sees in me!
By the way, she doesn´t speak, reads or writes any English

 

[Westernskies]

By the way, she doesn´t speak....

vincente, you have found the perfect woman!...

 

[HFWR]

If I can´t live with my wife, who is financially independent, attractive, intelligent, considerate and friendly....and puts up wth my uslelessness without complaint and with a lot of good humor..... I for sure won´t be able to live with another woman. She wouldn´t take me, anyway.
I can´t imagine what my wife sees in me!
By the way, she doesn´t speak, reads or writes any English

She got a sister?

 

[Purron]

vincente, you have found the perfect woman!...

Alas, Christopher thought the same thing.....

YouTube - Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat!

 

[freebird5825]

Engaged 5 years, married 20 years. Widowed 5+ years ago. Ouch.

I thought I wanted to be married again, and with stars in my eyes, got engaged to dh2b after 1 year together. Recently I truly re-thought that decision. I decided that remarriage just wasn't something I really wanted to do, regardless of the person. My life coach advised me that I should not get re-married if there was one iota of doubt in my mind.

I never really was the marrying type. I am currently dating, but strictly for social reasons. I am single and intend to stay that way.

It is best for the Freebird in me.

 

[Khan]

Engaged 5 years, married 20 years. Widowed 5+ years ago. Ouch.

I thought I wanted to be married again, and with stars in my eyes, got engaged to dh2b after 1 year together. Recently I truly re-thought that decision. I decided that remarriage just wasn't something I really wanted to do, regardless of the person. My life coach advised me that I should not get re-married if there was one iota of doubt in my mind.

I never really was the marrying type. I am currently dating, but strictly for social reasons. I am single and intend to stay that way.

It is best for the Freebird in me.

I thought I would never get married, but I did (mainly because I had no insurance) getting married was his idea as was getting divorced. I'm annoying and set in my ways, and can't imagine anyone who would put up with me.

 

[Moemg]

I thought I would never get married, but I did (mainly because I had no insurance) getting married was his idea as was getting divorced. I'm annoying and set in my ways, and can't imagine anyone who would put up with me.

You underrate yourself . You are a very giving person and someone would treasure someone like you .

 

[Westernskies]

You underrate yourself . You are a very giving person and someone would treasure someone like you .

+1

Think about it, I'm a real PITA, but DW seems to be able to put up with me. it's been a great second marriage for both of us.

 

[vicente solano]

She got a sister?

No. But for some, like me, that may have helped for our success. a sister might have opened my wife´s eyes

 

[Orchidflower]

If I can´t live with my wife, who is financially independent, attractive, intelligent, considerate and friendly....and puts up wth my uslelessness without complaint and with a lot of good humor..... I for sure won´t be able to live with another woman. She wouldn´t take me, anyway.
I can´t imagine what my wife sees in me!
By the way, she doesn´t speak, reads or writes any English

My guess is your wife sees how much you love and respect her, which means ALOT to most women. Smart gal, frankly.

 

[MichaelB]

If I can´t live with my wife, who is financially independent, attractive, intelligent, considerate and friendly....and puts up wth my uslelessness without complaint and with a lot of good humor..... I for sure won´t be able to live with another woman. She wouldn´t take me, anyway.
I can´t imagine what my wife sees in me!
By the way, she doesn´t speak, reads or writes any English

I'm happy to translate for her

 

[growing_older]

I'd be retired already if it weren't for that big whoosh that accompanied my ex's departure.

Me too. I wonder for how many people that also affects their willingness to consider a future marriage. Fear of a future whoosh taking me out of retirement could be a strong caution. Plus having lived through an episode of "someone you thought you knew so well" turning into an ex also adds to that caution.

 

[happy2bretired]

This is our 25th year. Wouldn't feel right to marry again if I ever find myself single. Don't think I can start to learn and adjust to bad habits, different tones of snoring, etc etc. Going back to work would seem easier than getting married again.

I found myself single 4 1/2 years ago when my husband died and I feel the same way you do. After 20 years of marriage, I still see myself being married to my late husband and no one else. I quit wearing my wedding ring this past year simply because the diamond was a little loose. My finger still feels a little naked.

My daughter moved out of my house last week so I am completely alone now. I have spread out all over my house. I'm actually quite pleased with being by myself right now. I didn't marry until I was 35 so I've lived by myself before, just not in a house. I don't like house maintenance.

I feel less stressed right now than I ever have. I don't know if that's good or bad, but, it is nice. Do as I please, keep the house the way I want it. The only things I don't like...no one to banter and joke around with, no one to pal around with, no one to lean on when I need a leaner oner or a hug.

I told my daughter one time that I need a gay guy as a pal to do things with...no physical stuff just a male companion. I think that would be super in my old age.

 

[FinanceDude]

I told my daughter one time that I need a gay guy as a pal to do things with...no physical stuff just a male companion. I think that would be super in my old age.

After 2 failed marriages, my late sister did just that. He was really nice to her, and she used to introduce him to hot men............

 

[vicente solano]

I'm happy to translate for her

Thanks, but no, thanks, Michael! She´ll want to have you translate all my posts. And that wouldn´t do. Put yourself in my place!

 

[haha]

I enjoy these lifestyle threads. (Thanks bbbamI!) As people we know a lot about life from personal experience and direct observation. Whereas much of what we "know" about politics or economics or investing is nothing more than social attitudes blowing in the wind.

I think for many older people the biggest block to forming live-in relationships is that other people's attitudes annoy us, and ours them. Just reading personal ads is hilarious. What we really need is someone of the desired sex who is pleasant, self-supporting, presentable looking and who wants some involvement with us.

Instead, what do people advertise? How green they are. If I needed green I would buy a bag of spinach.

I have met plenty women that I enjoy immensely. But I couldn't bear to give up an iota of life-autonomy to any of them. Some won't go in a Wal*Mart. Not because they hate the ambiance, but because of "cruel labor practices". One woman lost her job and health insurance. She was worried about being able to buy her generic medicines which she said cost her like $30 each at the local druggist. So I told her she could get almost any generic at Wal-Mart for $4/mo or $10/3mos. "Oh, I couldn't deal at Wal-Mart." OK lady, be prepared to get sick. But not with me around.

Others boycott Starbucks, not because of the coffee but because of some supposed international labor or environmental atrocities. I wanted to take someone to some really good free jazz on a Sunday afternoon at a concept-trial coffee house run by Starbucks. Seattle is full of excellent coffee houses, and this one is up near the top, plus the free music. "Oh, I can't patronize Starbucks- can we do something else?" " No, nunca. Hasta la vista, bebé.

It is like living in a loony bin full of people with half baked ideas more suitable to a 15 year old.

All Adam and Eve had to do was to find their sexual complement. Now we have to match soap preferences, use or non-use of perfume or after-shave, or attitudes toward recyclables sorting.

Here are some demographics about household size and trends:

Seattle Prior Censuses: 1900 - 2000 Population & Housing Trends, Population Trends: Living Alone
One person households Opportunities for consumer goods companies > Euromonitor archive

 

[W2R]

It is like living in a loony bin full of people with half baked ideas more suitable to a 15 year old.

A lot of the attitudes you describe and object to are stereotypical northwest coast attitudes, though. Who would expect to move to Seattle or Portland and not be immersed in a culture that was "green"? Not to say that everyone there is "green" or a political activist, but that is an attitude that I would expect to encounter frequently in Seattle (in comparison with New Orleans, Pittsburg, or Newark, for example).

I do agree with you, though - - even if you moved away from the northwest, you might no longer encounter as many greenie political activists but you would encounter people with other ideas that you might not agree with either.

As the saying goes, "There is someone out there for everyone." Eventually you may find Ms Right. But even if you do, will you want to live with her? Maybe, maybe not. Frank and I both treasure our opportunities for solitude, as well as our opportunities to be together. It's nice to have that choice.

 

[Moemg]

I have to agree that it is difficult to break in a new person to your quirks . It took us a few years to come to a super smooth relationship . I do like living with my So . We dated for a year and a half before we moved in together and living together is a whole different thing than dating . It requires a lot more intimacy on a day to day basis but it offers rewards if it is the right person . I like the easy companionship ,the daily routines that are shared, having someone around when you are ill , a travel companion and the built in handyman but if something happened to him I would not date or look for another companion .

 

[Westernskies]

Who would expect to move to Seattle or Portland and not be immersed in a culture that was "green"?

ME! I am still planning on a move to the PNW, and will probably end up bucking the status quo as much as possible. This whole "green" movement is a knee-jerk, feel-good, yuppie conspiracy to boost the sale of sprouts, Starbucks, and hybrid cars, IMO.

 

[W2R]

living together is a whole different thing than dating . It requires a lot more intimacy on a day to day basis but

According to dictionary.com, the definition of intimacy is:

1.
the state of being intimate.
2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

3. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan.

4. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names.

5. an amorously familiar act; liberty.

6. sexual intercourse.

7. the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room.

8. privacy, esp. as suitable to the telling of a secret: in the intimacy of his studio.

It doesn't say anything in there that is related to or demands living with one's partner. But then Frank and I know that first hand. So while your statement is probably very true for you and your SO, and you have every right to prefer your own living arrangements, it is not necessarily a good generalization IMO. Each to his or her own. Some couples live together and other, equally happy/intimate couples just don't and have every right to their own preferences as well.

 

[W2R]

ME! I am still planning on a move to the PNW, and will probably end up bucking the status quo as much as possible. This whole "green" movement is a knee-jerk, feel-good, yuppie conspiracy to boost the sale of sprouts, Starbucks, and hybrid cars, IMO.

But you LIKE bucking the status quo, you know you do!!! Many of us might prefer to expend our energy in other endeavors.