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Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 10:06 AM   #1
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Southernisms

A few Southernisms for you folks that plan on taking ER someplace below the Mason-Dixon line. I'm fixin' to make you smart.

1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.
They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) A true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

21.) When driving on a country road and you observe another vehicle approaching, always "wave" at them with your "driving hand" as your vehicles pass. It's only common country courtesy. (A wave can just be an elevation and slight upward movement of several fingers.)
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 10:11 AM   #2
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Re: Southernisms

And a true Southerner knows you can say anything nasty about someone else as long as you include "Bless her(his) heart." As in, "That boy of Velma's ain't never been right in the head. Bless his heart."
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 10:19 AM   #3
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Re: Southernisms

I "gots me" some relation in deep Mississippi, and those "good ole boys" is a hoot!

Yeah, I've had possum innards, what's your point??
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 11:15 AM   #4
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Re: Southernisms

Pert'near but not plum...
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 11:48 AM   #5
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Re: Southernisms

I remember a guy from college that hailed from Alabama.. used to say (when something was really good):
"ya cain't beat that with a stick!"

I'd never heard anything like that before and his accent delivering it was priceless.
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 12:07 PM   #6
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Re: Southernisms

As a born-again Southerner, I've heard things like, "it was so good, I could smack my granny." I don't get it, but I laugh every time.
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 12:12 PM   #7
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Re: Southernisms

My first cousin once removed (my father's first cousin's daughter), rasied Episcopalian, married into a long-time Southern Orthodox Jewish family. We were invited to their house for Seder (Passover dinner) a few years ago, and I'll never forget her aged father-in-law intoning, "Y'all put on your yarmulkas and come to the table, now!" in a delicious Charleston accent. Yessir, there's all kinds of Southernisms.
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 12:45 PM   #8
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Re: Southernisms

Quote:
Originally Posted by astromeria
As a born-again Southerner, I've heard things like, "it was so good, I could smack my granny." I don't get it, but I laugh every time.
I usually say, 'it's so good, it will make you slap your mama.'
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 01:38 PM   #9
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Re: Southernisms

One of my daughter's friends in law school was from New York. Shortly before graduation, she remarked upon how much she was going to miss the South (TN) and that one of the things she would miss most was the Southern expressions, for example "Dad gun it".
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 01:43 PM   #10
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Re: Southernisms

'Round these parts you don't "press" an elevator button, doorbell or keyboard key - you "mash" it.
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 04:26 PM   #11
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Re: Southernisms

Sweetened or unsweetened? That's about as old as my granny, and she farts dust!
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 04:54 PM   #12
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Re: Southernisms

Does coming from Texas count as being southern, on this board? (I understand that it's debatable in some quarters.) If so, here are a couple of Texanisms from my dear old dad:

"We were so poor we didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of."

"I'm too poor to pay attention."

"He's walking in tall cotton and wiping his a@@ on the top boll.

"He's so dumb he couldn't pour rain out of a boot with a hole in the toe and directions on the heel"

"He's so dumb he couldn't find his a@@ with both hands"

"He'd complain if you hung him with a new rope." (? Wouldn't anyone?)

"He was on me like ugly on an ape."

He also used to exclaim "Dag Nammit!" and "Crime and Nitley!" when we were kids and he didn't want to swear in front of us.





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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 05:01 PM   #13
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Re: Southernisms

Quote:
Does coming from Texas count as being southern
Yer dang right it does!

"I don't have a dog in this fight"

" My place near Terlingua is 40 miles from beer, 10 miles from water, and 6 inches from hell!"

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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 05:36 PM   #14
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Re: Southernisms

So do you southerners have strong accents? Less so than your parents or about the same?

Do southerners really often call each other by the first and middle name? Like Sue Ellen, or Billy Bob. Are there rules for this depending on what your middle name is?
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 05:43 PM   #15
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Re: Southernisms

no! It's the rest of the country that has the funny accent.
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 05:45 PM   #16
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Re: Southernisms

oh, and about the names . .. . Most of the time you're called your proper name. If your name is Augustus, you are called Augustus, not Auggie
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 06:07 PM   #17
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Re: Southernisms

Lived in several parts of the SE as well as the SW and I'm always fascinated at how many different "southern" accents there are. Really they are totally different.

The old Tidewater area of Virginia and parts of NC have a rather British lilt, open mouth sounds and a bit of the Ontario "out and about" sound. New Orleans accents can almost pass for a NYC accent except for a few giveaway pronunciations. Rural Fla and other deep south areas tend to hint at the stereotype southern accent used by nonsoutherners in a not very complmentary way.
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 06:14 PM   #18
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Re: Southernisms

I have heard the differences when we visit southern areas, and also hear a number of people that have no perceptible accent.

In my state, there is a strong urban-rural difference in speaking. Urban speakers sound more standard midwest, rural speakers have the accent. I can swing both ways.

Similar in the south?
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 07:31 PM   #19
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Re: Southernisms

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha

In my state, there is a strong urban-rural difference in speaking. Urban speakers sound more standard midwest, rural speakers have the accent. I can swing both ways.

Similar in the south?
I'd guess yes, but perhaps less so than up north. Tougher to tell because for the last 20 years there are so many who relocated from north to south and bring their accents with them. I've read that some linguists feel the states will become accentless within another 2 or 3 generations -- bilingual but the English part will be more consistent.

The MN/Dakota/Northern Wi accent got pretty well known from Garrison Keeler and Fargo. Now there's a population that never realized they had an accent (except Lawrence Welk ).
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Re: Southernisms
Old 11-02-2006, 07:44 PM   #20
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Re: Southernisms

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
I've read that some linguists feel the states will become accentless within another 2 or 3 generations -- bilingual but the English part will be more consistent.
Power of television and mobility. I like the regional differences. It is interesting.




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